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what do i do

WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
edited May 2011 in Singularity Engine++
My right hand got bitten and scratched up by a cat earlier today, it's not actually that interesting of a story itself but afterwards there was a lot of warm water and disinfecting involved, and now it's covered in bandages and in a lot of throbbing pain

My problem is this

If I am pooping, how do I wipe without the use of my dominant hand

Pop quiz, hot shot

Whippy on
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Posts

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    sounds like someone doesn't know how to use the three seashells

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  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Doesn't everyone have a brown person in their home that is used in situations like this?

    bO0v7.png
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  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    the-place-beyond-the-pines-03_thumb_zps3d4e0ec7.jpg
    360: Sir Stiggleton PSN: Stiggy_PA GFWL: RacerStig Steam: TheStig
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  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades YOU get a hellbat! YOU get a hellbat! Everybody gets a hellbat!Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    ...wipe?

    ElJeffe wrote: »
    Man, if I could get a 3D printer that could fabricate a vagina, I'd never leave the house again.
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  • BusterKBusterK Negativity is Boring Cynicism is Cowardice Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    What do I do?
    When you
    Are far away?

    And I am blue?
    What do I do?

    Visit http://www.cruzflores.com for all your Cruz Flores needs. Also listen to the podcast I do with Penguin Incarnate http://wgsgshow.podomatic.com
    Amazon Wishlist: http://www.amazon.com/BusterK/wishlist/3JPEKJGX9G54I/ref=cm_wl_search_bin_1
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  • ThreadbareSockThreadbareSock Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I am having trouble imagining having such poor use of my non-dominant hand that this would be a problem.

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  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Stand on the toilet bowl and squat down.

    Do your business and then make an offering to the toilet water gods so they can send a sewage fairy to clean your ass.

    bO0v7.png
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  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Wipe with your other hand.

    I had to figure this out when I had shoulder surgery and my dominant arm was in a sling.

    The hardest part, if you are a sitting-wiper, is leaning the other way.

    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
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  • ThreadbareSockThreadbareSock Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Macro9 wrote: »
    Stand on the toilet bowl and squat down.

    Do this, with all the power your body can muster. You shouldn't need to wipe then.

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  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    People wipe standing up?

    Positively Primitive

    What's next, shitting as you run away from a large feline with aims to make you its dinner?

    Wait

    bO0v7.png
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  • RanlinRanlin Oh gosh Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Man I don't even use my dominant hand for that.

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  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS
    edited May 2011
    i just wanted to say, that i had no idea what this thread was going to be about and that regardless of the topic my advice to whippy was going to be stop poopin

    im so happy it turned out to be relevant

    also, whippy?

    no poop threads.
    make him away, tods

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  • ThreadbareSockThreadbareSock Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
  • DidgeridooDidgeridoo noooooooooooo Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    3DS Friend Code: 2766-8209-8772. Nintendo Network ID: Didge7
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  • ButlerButler 89 episodes or bust Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Everyone had to learn to wipe for the first time, once

    You just need to do that with your other hand now

    Don't see this as a setback, see it as a chance at a fresh start

    And when you wipe that poop off
    Spoiler:

    If you sign up for Dollar Shave Club here I get a free month of tiny metal blades delivered right to my house. Seems legit.
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  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Kusuguttai wrote: »
    i just wanted to say, that i had no idea what this thread was going to be about and that regardless of the topic my advice to whippy was going to be stop poopin

    im so happy it turned out to be relevant

    also, whippy?

    no poop threads.
    make him away, tods

    Thus Speaks The Shitlord

    bO0v7.png
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  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Your arm is covered in bandages.

    Use those.

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    Jordyn wrote: »
    Wipe with your other hand.

    I had to figure this out when I had shoulder surgery and my dominant arm was in a sling.

    The hardest part, if you are a sitting-wiper, is leaning the other way.

    should've had ben do it, he's into the poop stuff

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  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Wait till you try to masturbate.

    sig_lambo.jpg
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  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Bidet, duh

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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Favlaud wrote: »

    Some of those sound distinctly 'follow-through'ish...

    terriblepostsigpic.jpg
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  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    but really, i think this thread brings up a far more important question

    how do blind people know when to stop wiping?

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  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Favlaud wrote: »
    but really, i think this thread brings up a far more important question

    how do blind people know when to stop wiping?

    taste

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    DANIEL GOULART

    ·
  • #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I shouldn't be laughing at that fart video

    I'm a gentleman

    I should find farting terrible

    but when you see that underwear jump a little

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  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    DANIEL GOULART

    hello ryan

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    DANIEL I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR LIKE FIVE YEARS

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    why did you leave me

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  • QuestionMarkManQuestionMarkMan Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    sounds like someone doesn't know how to use the three seashells
    I appreciated this post

    Averylistensig_zpsbaf5e2c6.gif
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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    what are you doing these days daniel

    are you full gay yet

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  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i did not leave you

    didn't you know distance makes the heart grow fonder

    i am working and living at my father's home in hopes of moving northwesterly

    how are your poops going, if they are still going on

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  • fightinfilipinofightinfilipino omfg Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Td5iN.jpg

    obviously.

    ffNewSig.png
    twitter | steam | 3ds: 4227 1731 4009
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  • WeaverWeaver From here, I can see seven seasRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    wrap your off-hand in an old washcloth that you don't even really use anymore and go to town

    hCpR4ri.jpg
    Steam: weavermatic
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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    Favlaud wrote: »
    i did not leave you

    didn't you know distance makes the heart grow fonder

    i am working and living at my father's home in hopes of moving northwesterly

    how are your poops going, if they are still going on

    Daniel

    I am changed, daniel

    Do you still love me

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  • FavlaudFavlaud just straight up awful Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    sure i guess so

    what, are they bad changes or something

    you are posing questions to me that seem inconsequential in the face of our continued bromance

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  • WhippyWhippy Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    Daniel I am actually seriously looking for a roommate, you should move in with us

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  • JordynJordyn Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvvvvvv

    <3

    thumbsupguy-1.jpg
    JordynNolz.com <- All my blogs (Shepard, Wasted, J'onn, DCAU) are here now!
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