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An "Invisible" Rapture? Clever Girl

XehalusXehalus Registered User regular
edited May 2011 in Social Entropy++
'cause May 21st is...

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1844 - William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller's theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha'is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.

1914, 1918, 1925, 1942 - Dates set for the end by the Jehovah's Witnesses

1981 - Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981.

There is a '1983' story from Bavaria of a bearded man being given a lift by a Women, then telling her he was the angel Gabriel and the world would end on the 31st of October next year.

1988 - Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant.

1989 - Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.

1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.

1993 - Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions.

1994 - Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6, 1994.

2011 - Harold Camping's revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.

2060 - Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.




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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF24k0dfAXE

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Disclaimer: I am in no way attempting to insult or decertify religion and/or faith on any practical level. Yes, it has brought misery and suffering to many, but it has also brought peace, love, and support to many more. My only point is that it should not be used as a gimmick to scare people into helping false prophets build their megachurches and xenophobic communities. Thank you, for reading.

Xehalus on
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Posts

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    look I'm no racist, but

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • Lucky CynicLucky Cynic Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I wanna be posting in SE++ when the rapture happens. I can think of no finer way to go.

    Maybe lighting a cigarette while doing so.

  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    decertify?

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • crwthcrwth IDIOT NEWS Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    there's a family that lives across the way from me that has a bunch of judgment day magnets on their cars

    i wonder what they'll be doing on the 22nd

  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i'm pretty sure you wouldn't notice anything if you were in SE++ when the rapture went down

    place is brimming with sinners

  • JoeUserJoeUser Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Tossrock wrote: »
    i'm pretty sure you wouldn't notice anything if you were in SE++ when the rapture went down

    place is brimming with sinners

    Gonna be awesome when all the killjoys are gone!

    PSN: JoeUser80 Steam
  • BlueBlueBlueBlue Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    The souls rising out of the graves of people recently buried alive

    CD World Tour status:
    Spoiler:
    Smash: BlueBlue
  • ShanadeusShanadeus Registered User
    edited May 2011
    I am interested in the psychological effects.

  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    drug use, sodomy, desecration of the flesh, adultery, proud, covetous, lustful, sorrowful, have borne false witness, have made wrongful use of the Lord's name, &c.

    I'll be right here

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • Bobkins FlymoBobkins Flymo FF69B4 Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    Let's all play Bioshock.

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  • ArtreusArtreus Hamlet Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    For most of my childhood I lived in constant fear of the rapture, because the people in my church were always like "we are in the end times! it could happen at any moment!"

    I'm glad I'm not with that church anymore.

    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    All of us will be posting together as the rapture happens

    Tube is the only one of us that gets saved

    We look up at him dumbstruck as he ascends to heaven while simultaneously flipping us all off while the world ends around us

  • Bobkins FlymoBobkins Flymo FF69B4 Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited May 2011
    Tube has already died, and this is his hell.

    You should all feel terrible about that.

    73zrBvC.png
  • UlisesUlises Registered User
    edited May 2011
    drug use, sodomy, desecration of the flesh, adultery, proud, covetous, lustful, sorrowful, have borne false witness, have made wrongful use of the Lord's name, &c.

    I'll be right here

    does the bible really forbid drug use?

  • UbikUbik i am a god in a french-ass restaurantRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    i forget the numbers but the Pope is supposed to learn about the rapture X days before it happens and then announces it Y days before

    CleezusSig_zpsfa821add.png
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    drug use, sodomy, desecration of the flesh, adultery, proud, covetous, lustful, sorrowful, have borne false witness, have made wrongful use of the Lord's name, &c.

    I'll be right here

    man ain't no commandment against getting super baked

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I'm wearing a shirt woven of two different fabrics

    straight to hell with me

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  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    oh good I guess I'm making it in then

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Ubik wrote: »
    i forget the numbers but the Pope is supposed to learn about the rapture X days before it happens and then announces it Y days before

    Yes

    Because I completely trust a Pope who looks like the fucking evil Emperor from Star Wars to warn me about the end times

    He knows exactly when the world will end, but he will never announce it

    It's all part of his plan

  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Calgon, take me awaaaayyyyyyyyyy!

    tonkkatrikesig.jpg
    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    also I'm a wizard

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  • GreenGreen Stick around. I'm full of bad ideas.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    crwth wrote: »
    there's a family that lives across the way from me that has a bunch of judgment day magnets on their cars

    i wonder what they'll be doing on the 22nd

    Kick down their door while holding a giant looting sack

    "Sorry, thought you'd be gone by now"

    IsaacSig.png
    3DS: 3007 8087 2767 | Nintendo ID: AngryFrog
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    also I'm a wizard

    lyricalharryhk0.jpg

    tonkkatrikesig.jpg
    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
  • JigrahJigrah Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Debauchery in D.C.

    If the Rapture comes, you D.C. folk can all come hang out with me.

    Spoiler:
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Tossrock wrote: »
    drug use, sodomy, desecration of the flesh, adultery, proud, covetous, lustful, sorrowful, have borne false witness, have made wrongful use of the Lord's name, &c.

    I'll be right here

    man ain't no commandment against getting super baked
    2 I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery; 3you shall have no other gods before* me.

    4 You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, 6but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation* of those who love me and keep my commandments.

    7 You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

    7.5 You shall not get high off your own supply, nor pass the dutchie on any other side but the Left. You must smoke only the dankest of nuggz and make good with the skunk chronic, but should you or your neighbors drink of the bong water, your pasties will never abate.

    8 Remember the sabbath day, and keep it holy. 9For six days you shall labour and do all your work. 10But the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God; you shall not do any work—you, your son or your daughter, your male or female slave, your livestock, or the alien resident in your towns. 11For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but rested the seventh day; therefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and consecrated it.

    12 Honour your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

    13 You shall not murder.*

    14 You shall not commit adultery.

    15 You shall not steal.

    16 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.

    17 You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, or male or female slave, or ox, or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.

    seriously there are some guidelines in there but it's not expressly forbidden

  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I've smoked some shitty mex, so I guess I'm back out

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    You shall not murder.*



    * unless you really, really have to, and even then only if you say you're sorry afterwards

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    whoa
    I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me

    who would figure god has a statute of limitations

    0BnD8l3.gif
  • B.C.B.C. Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I am ready for the rapture.
    Bring it on, bitches.

    Friend code for Pokemon fiends everywhere: Arch 0447-6824-1112
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Besides, I'm religious as hell, and even I know you shouldn't take the Bible all that seriously, at least in terms of commandments.

    If you take the Bible all that seriously at all, then everything you eat was at one point in time actually part of a person, zombies exist, and we all descend from Adam and Eve, which would mean that we're all related and that every single chick you banged in high school was effectively a convoluted case of incest.

    I kinda wish that last part (we are all related) was actually true, though, because there are some pretty cool people that I want to be related to.

    Also, I hope when the end does finally occur, I hope it's like the movies, and all the people who believed the rapture was actually coming are all left behind, because they're crazed idiots and even God don't want none of that.

  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I mean

    we are all related, if you want to get super pedantic about it

    right?

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • BlueBlueBlueBlue Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I kinda wish that last part (we are all related) was actually true, though, because there are some pretty cool people that I want to be related to..

    Wish granted

    CD World Tour status:
    Spoiler:
    Smash: BlueBlue
  • JoeUserJoeUser Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
  • TossrockTossrock too weird to live too rare to dieRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I mean

    we are all related, if you want to get super pedantic about it

    right?

    not even that pedantic

    there was a massive population bottleneck in recent human history (70k years ago), lowering the species as low as 1000 breeding pairs

  • ArtreusArtreus Hamlet Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Besides, I'm religious as hell, and even I know you shouldn't take the Bible all that seriously, at least in terms of commandments.

    If you take the Bible all that seriously at all, then everything you eat was at one point in time actually part of a person, zombies exist, and we all descend from Adam and Eve, which would mean that we're all related and that every single chick you banged in high school was effectively a convoluted case of incest.

    I kinda wish that last part (we are all related) was actually true, though, because there are some pretty cool people that I want to be related to.

    Also, I hope when the end does finally occur, I hope it's like the movies, and all the people who believed the rapture was actually coming are all left behind, because they're crazed idiots and even God don't want none of that.

    Well there is also the thing where it says nobody is supposed to know when it is going to happen and trying to actually predict a date from the incredibly bastardized version we have today is one of the sillier things a person could do.

    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Rogue Coral Springs, FLRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Won't you think of the Gaians?

    fiV9i14.jpg
    蒼く咲く華 日は灯り 天に流れる | Kill The Past
  • Sweeney TomSweeney Tom Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Artreus wrote: »
    Besides, I'm religious as hell, and even I know you shouldn't take the Bible all that seriously, at least in terms of commandments.

    If you take the Bible all that seriously at all, then everything you eat was at one point in time actually part of a person, zombies exist, and we all descend from Adam and Eve, which would mean that we're all related and that every single chick you banged in high school was effectively a convoluted case of incest.

    I kinda wish that last part (we are all related) was actually true, though, because there are some pretty cool people that I want to be related to.

    Also, I hope when the end does finally occur, I hope it's like the movies, and all the people who believed the rapture was actually coming are all left behind, because they're crazed idiots and even God don't want none of that.

    Well there is also the thing where it says nobody is supposed to know when it is going to happen and trying to actually predict a date from the incredibly bastardized version we have today is one of the sillier things a person could do.

    But it gives the nutjobs something to do!

  • ArtreusArtreus Hamlet Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Also I'd imagine making tons of money off of books has a certain appeal to some people.

    http://atlanticus.tumblr.com/ PSN: Atlanticus 3DS: 1590-4692-3954 Steam: Artreus
  • FyndirFyndir Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Artreus wrote: »
    Besides, I'm religious as hell, and even I know you shouldn't take the Bible all that seriously, at least in terms of commandments.

    If you take the Bible all that seriously at all, then everything you eat was at one point in time actually part of a person, zombies exist, and we all descend from Adam and Eve, which would mean that we're all related and that every single chick you banged in high school was effectively a convoluted case of incest.

    I kinda wish that last part (we are all related) was actually true, though, because there are some pretty cool people that I want to be related to.

    Also, I hope when the end does finally occur, I hope it's like the movies, and all the people who believed the rapture was actually coming are all left behind, because they're crazed idiots and even God don't want none of that.

    Well there is also the thing where it says nobody is supposed to know when it is going to happen and trying to actually predict a date from the incredibly bastardized version we have today is one of the sillier things a person could do.

    But it gives the nutjobs something to do!

    So does Economics.

  • GoldenSeducerGoldenSeducer Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I would take Isaac Newton's prediction over all of those.

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