Holy Shit Pigeons! I fucking hate them!

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

I'm writing this with a very obvious ire. I have pigeons roosting in the lightwell of my apartment building and they are driving me fucking bonkers. I don't sleep well enough as it is, so these assholes outside my window making the noise like an automobile dying of emphysema sure don't fucking help.

I'd like to get rid of them, but my options are somewhat limited. Restrictions include:

-I don't want to kill anything. As much as I hate them, it sorta goes against my ethics to just straight up kill them.
-I have a very small budget; This means I cannot hire anyone professional to help out.
-It also means no netting or crazy expensive deterrents.

I've talked to my landlord about it, and he's a great guy that tends to get things done. Normally. He sent some one out to clean the light well, but never installed plastic predators or netting. This may very well be because the top floor people pulled it down, and since they pay way more in ren than I do, it could mean appeasement for them and not me--that's pure speculation on my part though.

The bottom line is I already brought it to his attention, and trying to strong arm him by quoting civic codes and other arm-chair lawyery bullshit isn't a pragmatic option.

Lastly, physical space is a bit of an obstacle. The lightwell is maybe roughly 4 by 8 feet, starting on a sublevel floor (the basement, where I am) going all the way up to a total of 5 floors. The pigeons are nesting on the third floor level, and the only access I have to that is from my ground level perspective. I may be able to reach them from a slightly different vantage point one floor above me, but you get the general idea.


I could really use some advice to ward them off because the interrupted sleep is really starting to take a fucking tol on me. Now, I've done my homework and tried some things here and there as well as formulating some future plans, but I'm pretty open to any suggestion at this point. I'd like to pool what I've done/looked into with your advice/experience and see what I can muster.

tl;dr version - there is no too long; didn't read version, just go fucking read the thing. It's not much to begin with.

Iceman.USAF

My first thought is airhorn but your neighbors might throw shit at you for that one.

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

Haha, yeah, I came to the same conclusion when I groggily considered "smoking the out."

th3thirdman

The best thing I found is cayenne pepper. As to how to get it up there? thats a trick I would say make a paste and use a sling shot.

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

That's a good call. I read a similar thing that suggested cinnamon, which I used, and I think it helped successfully drive them/keep them away from the lowest level.

I do have a slingshot; purchases specifically because of this. Creating a payload delivery system shouldn't be too difficult. Something that would plume upon impact would be ideal, like spice in a loosely packed tissue.

useless4

That actually sounds like kind'a fun.

Another suggestion if you have a hose is get a sprayer and mix in some cinnamon and spray it up that way since it would give better coverage and distance but I am not sure how it well it would work without getting clogged (i'm talking the type you use to spray liquid fertilizer)

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

But wouldn't mixing it with water ostensibly negate the spice's aromatic potency?

th3thirdman

is has to stick so as I said a paste. If thst don't work and you have to kill them, you have preseasoned squab

John Matrix

I had something similar in an awning outside my bedroom window. I have a cheap (~$25) full-auto bb gun. I'd give them a magazine full every time they showed up. Haven't seen them since.

Siska

John Matrix wrote: »

I had something similar in an awning outside my bedroom window. I have a cheap (~$25) full-auto bb gun. I'd give them a magazine full every time they showed up. Haven't seen them since.

My hubby did the BB gun thing to chase off some birds that would dive bomb us as we walked from the car to the front door. It worked. They didn't bother either of us again. A few years later he caught some birds dive bombing our cat (who was outside playing tiger). This time he grabbed the cat, held him above his head and chased the birds from tree to tree. The cat was a bit bewildered at first, but after a few seconds he got into it and started swiping his paws in the air at the birds. Kitty was left alone after that. Even tiny little bird brains can learn. :P

Of course shooting at a house, even with just a BB gun, might scare more than just birds and someone may call the cops on you. Perhaps you can do some kind of predator shaped thing on a long pole, provided it's not too far up. Wave it at the winged little devils and hopefully they will get the point and move somewhere else. Of course this will look very strange to anyone seeing you.

saltiness

I feel for you. Pigeons are a pest, just like rats and mice, and doves are not much different even though people like to think of them as little angels. I would certainly just BB gun those fuckers down but that would be a bad idea in an apartment scenario.

SpongeCake

Taxidermied hawk. Nailed to the roof.

Willeth

Siska wrote: »

The cat was a bit bewildered at first, but after a few seconds he got into it and started swiping his paws in the air at the birds.

I love this mental image, and am having fun imagining the cat's thought process.

Liiya

Or spray them with a hosepipe/garden hose, if you have one?

edit: On the high-powered jet setting, not the gentle spray one, they'd probably enjoy that.

Deusfaux

there are owl statues on lots of the character homes around here. not sure how effective but that's why they're there...

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

Willeth wrote: »

Siska wrote: »

The cat was a bit bewildered at first, but after a few seconds he got into it and started swiping his paws in the air at the birds.

I love this mental image, and am having fun imagining the cat's thought process.

Agreed, this illustrates such a wonderful picture.

For lack of a BB gun I bought a slingshot so I could control the velocity of each shot and not kill anything, just drive them off. I had limited ammo and found it hard to aim given the circumstances of the confined space. However, it'll double nicely as a payload delivery system.

I also live in Chinatown, and the stores literally right around the corner sell those little "snappers" one tosses at the ground to make a little "pop!" sound. I'm looking at trying to use those to shock & awe them away.

Liiya wrote: »

Or spray them with a hosepipe/garden hose, if you have one?

edit: On the high-powered jet setting, not the gentle spray one, they'd probably enjoy that.

I was about to dismiss this as not possible considering the location, but I'll be goddamned I looked outside and there actually is a spigot out there. I'll have to pick up a small hose and spray handle, but this may end up being the winning ingredient.


Thanks for the suggestions, I'll keep you guys posted on what works and what doesn't.

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

And for what it's worth, they used to come all the way down to the lowest level, and between opening my window and tossing objects at them, using spices and just staring at them until they develop an aggressive form of Avian Cancer, I think I successfully deterred them from ever coming down to the lower level.

I'm just trying to find a way to repeat and maintain that for the upper levels. I wasn't able to do it before a nest up there hatched so now there's a couple of squabs in play. I made a shaky truce that I wouldn't fuck with them until the squabs left (because otherwise I drive off a parent and the child dies), but two mornings ago the fuckers were on the lowest level again and woke up. So the armistice is officially off and I'm just compiling ways to slowly make the area undesirable so the squabs and co. leave permanently.

kneelingyak

I don't think the cayenne paper idea will work. Birds can not taste/feel capsaicin and so won't be bothered. Bird food is commonly covered with the stuff so that squirrels won't bother with it but the birds don't even notice.

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

It's more of an olfactory irritant for birds.

finalflight89

If the hose doesn't work, maybe you can try water balloons to get that mixture up there.

big l

There are little rows of spikes you can buy which you install on the spots they like to roost and then they can't roost there because of the spikes. $32 for 10 feet of coverage.

Skoal Cat

Spikes are the only way to prevent them from landing there. Those fake hawks and owls in stores? Garbage. Wind chimes and other shit that moves? Garbage. You need to somehow prevent them from landing or provide them with a better place to land.
I also don't understand the architecture here very well, is this something you can fill with great stuff foam?

Bagginses

This tutorial shows how to make a $40 net gun. It's a last resort because you don't have a good angle, but at least you'll have a net gun to terrify the neighborhood kids with.

Iruka

Pictures of the location may help.

Just as an alternative, have you considered white noise (such as a large box fan) in your room to help with the sound? I'm not doubting that the birds are loud, but if you are truly losing sleep you may want to find a back up solution thats easier to control.

I'd also like to remind you that the soothing scream of a real hawk could replace those pesky flying rats, but they may be a little out of budget .

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

I already run a box fan because the white noise helps with my terrible sleeping disorders and I can still hear them over that. Part of the issue is the acoustics of the space creates a natural amplification, so anything inside the well or just at the mouth of it reverberates louder than it has any right to.

Its dark out now, but when the sun comes up again I'll snap some shots so you get a better understanding of the space and the obstacle it presents.

Regarding the hawk, barring getting an actual hawk, I considered the logistics of playing "hawk calls" but I'm just not sure how I could practically maintain something like that. Unless you can lend me a hawk...

November Fifth

Green Laser. Use it safely.

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

Elaborate?

November Fifth

Birds do not like lasers. They use them to keep them away from runways to prevent bird strikes, and they will not get used to the laser unlike sonic devices. Keep hitting the pigeons with it, and they should leave the area eventually.

However, green lasers can be dangerous and are not looked upon kindly by law enforcement since idiots started pointing them at planes and helicopters. So don't go shining it around in the sky or pointing it in people's windows.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YA1j_Jhodnk

Stupid Mr Whoopsie Name

That video... it's like staring into the face of God... so beautiful!

This may be worth investing in. And if it doesn't work? Fuck yeah, I still have a laser! When I post pictures you'll see that I have what car commercials refer to as a "closed course", so it shouldn't affect anyone else negatively.

th3thirdman

I am not great at the script so sorry if I am posting this wrong but. This might be fun and work
http://kipkay.com/featured/laser-hacked-dead-space-2-plasma-cutter/