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Follow These Instructions: Childhood Brain Modification

2

Posts

  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    "bite each carrot to restore full nuisance value" is a pretty big part of the tutorial for my video game

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    The journey starts with a step
    Smoothly and rapidly walk down stairs while skipping alternate steps. (It requires some practice alone, but it's not that hard.) I started doing this in grade school where the "hall monitors" would call the teacher if they caught any kids skipping steps while going upstairs. So I started skipping steps going down. This confused them, and they had no rule to cover it.

    But I already do this. All the time.

    mosesupposes.gif
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I do this thing whereby I "fall" down the stairs and have to quickly move my legs to stop me pitching forward.

    It's very quick and efficient.

    I do a similar thing when I'm walking on flat land and my legs are super weary. Just sort of perpetually slump my body forward like I'm falling down from exhaustion and only worry about keeping my feet under me at all times. It's like a constant rubber band effect! At least psychologically.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    AMP'd wrote: »
    pretty sure one of these is just "what if the blue you see, and the blue I see are different, but we've both been taught to call it blue"
    No joke, I thought of this when I was in like the second grade. No one got it.

    Also I can clap with one hand. And I can do that thing where you slap each thigh and then clap really really fast.

  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel Building an empire OsloRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I have read every post in this thread. Time to re-evaluate my life, i.e. kill my self with ten guns.

    Fuck off and die.
  • TamTam I hate art I love artRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    The journey starts with a step
    Smoothly and rapidly walk down stairs while skipping alternate steps. (It requires some practice alone, but it's not that hard.) I started doing this in grade school where the "hall monitors" would call the teacher if they caught any kids skipping steps while going upstairs. So I started skipping steps going down. This confused them, and they had no rule to cover it.

    But I already do this. All the time.

    This is waaay harder than taking multiple steps at a time going up
    you gotta train yourself to think mostly about your back foot

  • Cilla BlackCilla Black Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    AMP'd wrote: »
    Tam wrote: »
    AMP'd wrote: »
    so I'll leave you with this: close your eyes and rub on your eyelids, applying pressure on your eyes, but not enough to hurt. watch patterns emerge in the phosphenes.

    do this all the time
    also look at the blue noon sky to see all the little swimmies

    I have hella floaters

    I can also see a little phosphene that's a collection of tiny orange dots, and it floats around.

    I was really good at seeing it everywhere when I was little, but now I have to look at the dark, specifically

    I see them all the time. They're not bad enough that it impedes my vision, as it has just become habit to ignore them, but they're visible constantly.

  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    This person is not well

  • GatsbyGatsby You come at the Nidoking You best not missRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Take your hand and place all fingertips on a table or other flat surface. Now curl in your middle finger until it lies as flat as possible on this surface. Now try winggling your index finger.

    Now your thumb.

    Now your pinky.

    Now try your ring finger.
    Spoiler:

    nidosig_zps0735f1a4.png
    Steam ID
    Friend Code: 2766 - 9202 - 0140
  • TamTam I hate art I love artRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Hobnail wrote: »
    This person is not well

    nah, dude's just weird
    nothin wrong with that
    ain't unstable, I don't think

  • WeaverWeaver send help pirates have meRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

    Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

    Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

    ProfessionalandCommander_zps6c326307.jpg
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Gatsby wrote: »
    Take your hand and place all fingertips on a table or other flat surface. Now curl in your middle finger until it lies as flat as possible on this surface. Now try winggling your index finger.

    Now your thumb.

    Now your pinky.

    Now try your ring finger.
    Spoiler:

    this also works if you clasp you hands but leave the ring fingers extended and touching

    if you put like such as a coin between the ring fingers, you cannot get it without unclasping the hand

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Member of Twin Club Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Weaver wrote: »
    Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

    Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

    Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

    I would watch the moon "following" me

    I thought it was awesome

    and it would even move when I dipped my head up and down!

    wb5cft.png
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Weaver wrote: »
    Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

    Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

    Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

    I always pretended there was someone running along the side of the road, jumping over stuff and through trees and over buildings

    It was parkour before there was parkour

  • SaintSaint Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    There's a game I've been told by friends I need to play before I'm all grown up,and I know I need to but I'm not sure how to play it. It's called "Coming out to your churchy father"

  • Darkness MundusDarkness Mundus Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Sheri wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

    Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

    Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

    I always pretended there was someone running along the side of the road, jumping over stuff and through trees and over buildings

    It was parkour before there was parkour

    Oh hey I did that.

  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Saint wrote: »
    There's a game I've been told by friends I need to play before I'm all grown up,and I know I need to but I'm not sure how to play it. It's called "Coming out to your churchy father"

    first do this when you go out to dinner sometime:
    POP YOUR EYEBALL WITH A FORK
    At a restaurant with friends, give everyone the jitters by playing with a fork very close to your eyeball. Use the tines to pull your eyelid down, etc. Everyone is creeped out. Now take one of those tiny plastic cups of ultrapasturized creamer, cup it in your hand and hold it up to your eye without anyone noticing, use the fork to poke holes in the paper lid (looks like you're stabbing your eye,) then squeeze the cup and scream while dropping the fork! White gunk will squirt all over the table. This one comes from Penn & Teller's PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD, a book that readers of this website just GOTTA have! Twisted insightful tricks by vengeful nerd social outcasts.

    then go "psyche! oh also dad I'm gay."

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Sheri wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

    Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

    Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

    I always pretended there was someone running along the side of the road, jumping over stuff and through trees and over buildings

    It was parkour before there was parkour

    Oh hey I did that.

    I'm pretty sure most kids did that, really.

  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Ok so when I was young and didn't KNOW that I needed glasses. I would be sitting in class and NOT be able to read the chalkboard. A trick I figured out to overcome this is to create a reallllllly small hole (pinhole) through by rolling up your index finger and looking through that. So small that you can just barely see through it, and VOILA! You dont need to wear glasses anymore!

    AAAAAAHHHHH SHIT THIS WORKS

    I mean I knew it should work but I hadn't ever thought of it

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Member of Twin Club Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    but glasses are cool

    everyone should want glasses

    wb5cft.png
  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    but glasses are cool

    everyone should want glasses

    h5

  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    sometimes I wish I needed glasses because I could probably rock that

    but most other times I am glad my right eye makes up for my left's deficiencies

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Member of Twin Club Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    When BB and I were little, he ended up needing glasses before I did

    I was super jealous, and sad because we weren't identical anymore

    then I found out I needed glasses about a year or so later, and I was just so excited

    wb5cft.png
  • BugBoyBugBoy I like big bugs and I cannot lieRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    not that it helped people tell us apart

    they forgot which one had the glasses

    j6ig00.png
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    nope, pretty sure not having glasses is working out just fine

    for example, I can see things

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus ha ha just kidding I'm Frog ManRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    AMP'd wrote: »
    my mirror neurons triggered just reading that description.
    Dry your tongue!
    Get a clean cloth or paper towel. Stick out your tongue, then dry it thoroughly with the cloth. Keep sticking it out so it will air-dry a bit more. Now challenge your friends to feel your dry tongue surface. Weird and creepy. Grab the hands of an unsuspecting passersby, and force them up against your warm dry tongue.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZItsbLzc73s

  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I started wearing glasses in the 5th grade to see the board at school. Now I have contacts. Contacts are awesome.

  • Butler For Life #1Butler For Life #1 Member of Twin Club Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    AMP'd wrote: »
    nope, pretty sure not having glasses is working out just fine

    for example, I can see things

    Those are fighting words

    I'll punch you for that

    just come a bit closer, I'm a bit myopic

    wb5cft.png
  • skettiosskettios Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    AMP'd wrote: »
    Gatsby wrote: »
    Take your hand and place all fingertips on a table or other flat surface. Now curl in your middle finger until it lies as flat as possible on this surface. Now try winggling your index finger.

    Now your thumb.

    Now your pinky.

    Now try your ring finger.
    Spoiler:

    this also works if you clasp you hands but leave the ring fingers extended and touching

    if you put like such as a coin between the ring fingers, you cannot get it without unclasping the hand

    I'm not sure I get this.. doing it with my hand just fine???

  • SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I look better with glasses.

    Fact.

    (I see better, too. Also fact.)

  • TamTam I hate art I love artRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    skettios wrote: »
    AMP'd wrote: »
    Gatsby wrote: »
    Take your hand and place all fingertips on a table or other flat surface. Now curl in your middle finger until it lies as flat as possible on this surface. Now try winggling your index finger.

    Now your thumb.

    Now your pinky.

    Now try your ring finger.
    Spoiler:

    this also works if you clasp you hands but leave the ring fingers extended and touching

    if you put like such as a coin between the ring fingers, you cannot get it without unclasping the hand

    I'm not sure I get this.. doing it with my hand just fine???

    yes me too

    would like clarification on this

  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    finger-tendons.jpg

    if you do like this, you cannot get whatever flat object you put in there out without unclasping your hands

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • skettiosskettios Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    AMP'd wrote: »
    finger-tendons.jpg

    if you do like this, you cannot get whatever flat object you put in there out without unclasping your hands

    ok, took me a bit to understand but I get it now. Had to play with my other fingers
    I can do it with every finger but my ring!
    Doing it with my pinkies looks weird (cause my left pinky is crooked)

  • PwnanObrienPwnanObrien Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEtLvvoHhtk

    This trick was pretty fun in middle school.

    Apparently it's also fun when drunk.

    JLPENwc.gif
  • Charles KinboteCharles Kinbote Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    you know it's really convenient that we have ten fingers given that we use a base-ten math system

    imagine if we had twelve fingers? we'd just have to ignore...two...

    www.twitter.com/amazingwarlock
  • SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Sheri wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Weaver wrote: »
    Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

    Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

    Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

    I always pretended there was someone running along the side of the road, jumping over stuff and through trees and over buildings

    It was parkour before there was parkour

    Oh hey I did that.

    I'm pretty sure most kids did that, really.

    Sonic!

    3DS: 2337-4267-8661
  • ProlegomenaProlegomena Frictionless Spinning The VoidRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    you know it's really convenient that we have ten fingers given that we use a base-ten math system

    imagine if we had twelve fingers? we'd just have to ignore...two...

    And that's why creationism is true.

  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    you know it's really convenient that we have ten fingers given that we use a base-ten math system

    imagine if we had twelve fingers? we'd just have to ignore...two...

    had to work on a project for like 9 months with a guy

    who upon our first meeting extolled the virtues of a base 12 system of counting and how we'd be better off

    then I said "but we have 10 fingers and 10 toes"

    and he looked at me and said "but base 12 math is better"

    that's when I knew I'd have a lot of fun having conversations with this guy

  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel Building an empire OsloRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Danish number naming convention alludes to a number system with twenty as a base.

    French number naming convention alludes to absinthe abuse.

    Fuck off and die.
  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Polar Warbear ˁ ͡° ᴥ ͡°ˀRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    There's the thing where you get a pencil and trace around the edge of a coin ten times, and the tiny amount of dizziness from doing that makes it really hard to roll the coin down your nose.

    FYYss9j.png
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