Follow These Instructions: Childhood Brain Modification

Charles Kinbote

"bite each carrot to restore full nuisance value" is a pretty big part of the tutorial for my video game

TrippyJing

The journey starts with a step
Smoothly and rapidly walk down stairs while skipping alternate steps. (It requires some practice alone, but it's not that hard.) I started doing this in grade school where the "hall monitors" would call the teacher if they caught any kids skipping steps while going upstairs. So I started skipping steps going down. This confused them, and they had no rule to cover it.

But I already do this. All the time.

facetious

I do this thing whereby I "fall" down the stairs and have to quickly move my legs to stop me pitching forward.

It's very quick and efficient.

I do a similar thing when I'm walking on flat land and my legs are super weary. Just sort of perpetually slump my body forward like I'm falling down from exhaustion and only worry about keeping my feet under me at all times. It's like a constant rubber band effect! At least psychologically.

SirToasty

AMP'd wrote: »

pretty sure one of these is just "what if the blue you see, and the blue I see are different, but we've both been taught to call it blue"

No joke, I thought of this when I was in like the second grade. No one got it.

Also I can clap with one hand. And I can do that thing where you slap each thigh and then clap really really fast.

Peter Ebel

I have read every post in this thread. Time to re-evaluate my life, i.e. kill my self with ten guns.

Tam

TrippyJing wrote: »

The journey starts with a step
Smoothly and rapidly walk down stairs while skipping alternate steps. (It requires some practice alone, but it's not that hard.) I started doing this in grade school where the "hall monitors" would call the teacher if they caught any kids skipping steps while going upstairs. So I started skipping steps going down. This confused them, and they had no rule to cover it.

But I already do this. All the time.

This is waaay harder than taking multiple steps at a time going up
you gotta train yourself to think mostly about your back foot

Cilla Black

AMP'd wrote: »

Tam wrote: »

AMP'd wrote: »

so I'll leave you with this: close your eyes and rub on your eyelids, applying pressure on your eyes, but not enough to hurt. watch patterns emerge in the phosphenes.

do this all the time
also look at the blue noon sky to see all the little swimmies

I have hella floaters

I can also see a little phosphene that's a collection of tiny orange dots, and it floats around.

I was really good at seeing it everywhere when I was little, but now I have to look at the dark, specifically

I see them all the time. They're not bad enough that it impedes my vision, as it has just become habit to ignore them, but they're visible constantly.

Hobnail

This person is not well

Gatsby

Take your hand and place all fingertips on a table or other flat surface. Now curl in your middle finger until it lies as flat as possible on this surface. Now try winggling your index finger.

Now your thumb.

Now your pinky.

Now try your ring finger.

Spoiler:

You can't because of the tendon that connects both the middle and ring finger on each hand.

Tam

Hobnail wrote: »

This person is not well

nah, dude's just weird
nothin wrong with that
ain't unstable, I don't think

Weaver

Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

AMP'd

Gatsby wrote: »

Take your hand and place all fingertips on a table or other flat surface. Now curl in your middle finger until it lies as flat as possible on this surface. Now try winggling your index finger.

Now your thumb.

Now your pinky.

Now try your ring finger.

Spoiler:

You can't because of the tendon that connects both the middle and ring finger on each hand.

this also works if you clasp you hands but leave the ring fingers extended and touching

if you put like such as a coin between the ring fingers, you cannot get it without unclasping the hand

Butler For Life #1

Weaver wrote: »

Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

I would watch the moon "following" me

I thought it was awesome

and it would even move when I dipped my head up and down!

Sheri

Weaver wrote: »

Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

I always pretended there was someone running along the side of the road, jumping over stuff and through trees and over buildings

It was parkour before there was parkour

Saint

There's a game I've been told by friends I need to play before I'm all grown up,and I know I need to but I'm not sure how to play it. It's called "Coming out to your churchy father"

Darkness Mundus

Sheri wrote: »

Weaver wrote: »

Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

I always pretended there was someone running along the side of the road, jumping over stuff and through trees and over buildings

It was parkour before there was parkour

Oh hey I did that.

AMP'd

Saint wrote: »

There's a game I've been told by friends I need to play before I'm all grown up,and I know I need to but I'm not sure how to play it. It's called "Coming out to your churchy father"

first do this when you go out to dinner sometime:

POP YOUR EYEBALL WITH A FORK
At a restaurant with friends, give everyone the jitters by playing with a fork very close to your eyeball. Use the tines to pull your eyelid down, etc. Everyone is creeped out. Now take one of those tiny plastic cups of ultrapasturized creamer, cup it in your hand and hold it up to your eye without anyone noticing, use the fork to poke holes in the paper lid (looks like you're stabbing your eye,) then squeeze the cup and scream while dropping the fork! White gunk will squirt all over the table. This one comes from Penn & Teller's PLAY WITH YOUR FOOD, a book that readers of this website just GOTTA have! Twisted insightful tricks by vengeful nerd social outcasts.

then go "psyche! oh also dad I'm gay."

Sheri

Darkness Mundus wrote: »

Sheri wrote: »

Weaver wrote: »

Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

I always pretended there was someone running along the side of the road, jumping over stuff and through trees and over buildings

It was parkour before there was parkour

Oh hey I did that.

I'm pretty sure most kids did that, really.

AMP'd

Ok so when I was young and didn't KNOW that I needed glasses. I would be sitting in class and NOT be able to read the chalkboard. A trick I figured out to overcome this is to create a reallllllly small hole (pinhole) through by rolling up your index finger and looking through that. So small that you can just barely see through it, and VOILA! You dont need to wear glasses anymore!

AAAAAAHHHHH SHIT THIS WORKS

I mean I knew it should work but I hadn't ever thought of it

Butler For Life #1

but glasses are cool

everyone should want glasses

Sheri

Butler For Life #1 wrote: »

but glasses are cool

everyone should want glasses

h5

AMP'd

sometimes I wish I needed glasses because I could probably rock that

but most other times I am glad my right eye makes up for my left's deficiencies

Butler For Life #1

When BB and I were little, he ended up needing glasses before I did

I was super jealous, and sad because we weren't identical anymore

then I found out I needed glasses about a year or so later, and I was just so excited

BugBoy

not that it helped people tell us apart

they forgot which one had the glasses

AMP'd

nope, pretty sure not having glasses is working out just fine

for example, I can see things

Centipede Damascus

AMP'd wrote: »

my mirror neurons triggered just reading that description.

Dry your tongue!
Get a clean cloth or paper towel. Stick out your tongue, then dry it thoroughly with the cloth. Keep sticking it out so it will air-dry a bit more. Now challenge your friends to feel your dry tongue surface. Weird and creepy. Grab the hands of an unsuspecting passersby, and force them up against your warm dry tongue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZItsbLzc73s

SirToasty

I started wearing glasses in the 5th grade to see the board at school. Now I have contacts. Contacts are awesome.

Butler For Life #1

AMP'd wrote: »

nope, pretty sure not having glasses is working out just fine

for example, I can see things

Those are fighting words

I'll punch you for that

just come a bit closer, I'm a bit myopic

skettios

AMP'd wrote: »

Gatsby wrote: »

Take your hand and place all fingertips on a table or other flat surface. Now curl in your middle finger until it lies as flat as possible on this surface. Now try winggling your index finger.

Now your thumb.

Now your pinky.

Now try your ring finger.

Spoiler:

You can't because of the tendon that connects both the middle and ring finger on each hand.

this also works if you clasp you hands but leave the ring fingers extended and touching

if you put like such as a coin between the ring fingers, you cannot get it without unclasping the hand

I'm not sure I get this.. doing it with my hand just fine???

Sheri

I look better with glasses.

Fact.

(I see better, too. Also fact.)

Tam

skettios wrote: »

AMP'd wrote: »

Gatsby wrote: »

Take your hand and place all fingertips on a table or other flat surface. Now curl in your middle finger until it lies as flat as possible on this surface. Now try winggling your index finger.

Now your thumb.

Now your pinky.

Now try your ring finger.

Spoiler:

You can't because of the tendon that connects both the middle and ring finger on each hand.

this also works if you clasp you hands but leave the ring fingers extended and touching

if you put like such as a coin between the ring fingers, you cannot get it without unclasping the hand

I'm not sure I get this.. doing it with my hand just fine???

yes me too

would like clarification on this

AMP'd

if you do like this, you cannot get whatever flat object you put in there out without unclasping your hands

skettios

AMP'd wrote: »

if you do like this, you cannot get whatever flat object you put in there out without unclasping your hands

ok, took me a bit to understand but I get it now. Had to play with my other fingers
I can do it with every finger but my ring!
Doing it with my pinkies looks weird (cause my left pinky is crooked)

PwnanObrien

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wEtLvvoHhtk

This trick was pretty fun in middle school.

Apparently it's also fun when drunk.

Charles Kinbote

you know it's really convenient that we have ten fingers given that we use a base-ten math system

imagine if we had twelve fingers? we'd just have to ignore...two...

Seriously

Sheri wrote: »

Darkness Mundus wrote: »

Sheri wrote: »

Weaver wrote: »

Two things I would do as a little kid on long road trips.

Daytime- Pretend I have a HUD overlaying my vision and invisible blaster cannons. Destroy everything.

Nighttime- While driving through the countryside, oh god, there's monsters and other unearthly creatures all over just out of sight off to the sides of the road.

I always pretended there was someone running along the side of the road, jumping over stuff and through trees and over buildings

It was parkour before there was parkour

Oh hey I did that.

I'm pretty sure most kids did that, really.

Sonic!

Prolegomena

Charles Kinbote wrote: »

you know it's really convenient that we have ten fingers given that we use a base-ten math system

imagine if we had twelve fingers? we'd just have to ignore...two...

And that's why creationism is true.

George Fornby Grill

Charles Kinbote wrote: »

you know it's really convenient that we have ten fingers given that we use a base-ten math system

imagine if we had twelve fingers? we'd just have to ignore...two...

had to work on a project for like 9 months with a guy

who upon our first meeting extolled the virtues of a base 12 system of counting and how we'd be better off

then I said "but we have 10 fingers and 10 toes"

and he looked at me and said "but base 12 math is better"

that's when I knew I'd have a lot of fun having conversations with this guy

Peter Ebel

Danish number naming convention alludes to a number system with twenty as a base.

French number naming convention alludes to absinthe abuse.

Mr Fuzzbutt

There's the thing where you get a pencil and trace around the edge of a coin ten times, and the tiny amount of dizziness from doing that makes it really hard to roll the coin down your nose.