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See you [le Tour] OP Updated as of stage 17

facetiousfacetious a wit so dryit shits sandRegistered User regular
edited July 2011 in Social Entropy++
Do you like the French countryside? Astonishing feats of human endurance? Tight male asses?

Then boy do I have just the thing for you!
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Wikipedia says:
The Tour de France is an annual bicycle race held in France and nearby countries. First staged in 1903, the race covers more than 3,600 kilometres (2,200 mi) and lasts three weeks. As the best known and most prestigious of cycling's three "Grand Tours", the Tour de France attracts riders and teams from around the world. The race is broken into day-long segments, called stages. Individual times to finish each stage are aggregated to determine the overall winner at the end of the race. The rider with the lowest aggregate time at the end of each day wears a yellow jersey.[1] The course changes every year, but the race has always finished in Paris. Since 1975, the climax of the final stage has been along the Champs-Élysées.

This year, le Tour starts July 2 in Passage du Gois: of note, it will be a road stage, rather than a time trial prologue. Says race director Jean-françois Pescheux, "We wanted to shake up the teams’ plans a little bit and change the way they operate. Only 10 riders can realistically contend for victory in a prologue. But each one of the 198 riders could win this stage and pull on the yellow jersey."

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The Yellow Jersey - maillot jaune - indicates the rider who leads in the overall classification of the race. To hold the jersey for even one day is considered one of the greatest possible accomplishments in a cyclists' career, and riders often - particularly the French - take great heart from wearing it and push themselves to better results than is expected of them, desperately hoping to hold onto it for just one more day. (See: Voeckler, Thomas.) The two-time defending champion is Alberto Contador of España, riding under a new banner this year with team Saxo Bank-SunGuard.

There are other jerseys to be held and won as well:

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The Green Jersey - maillot vert - is held by the rider who wins the most points at various intermediate sprint checkpoints along the stage routes and at each stage's finish line. These guys are the ones who have the highest top speed on flat land but are unlikely to keep pace on the gruelling mountain stages. The reigning champion is Alessandro Petacchi of Italia.

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The Polka-dot Jersey - maillot à pois rouges - is held by the King of the Mountains. Essentially, this takes the same principle as the Green Jersey but with the checkpoints being placed at the summit of climbs. Ascents rated with higher difficulty award a larger number of points. The reigning champion is Anthony Charteau of France.

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The White Jersey - maillot blanc - is given to the leader of the Young Rider Competition. Of those riders who were under the age of 25 on the first of January in the year of the race, he who has the highest ranking in the general classification holds this jersey. Andy Schleck of Luxembourg is the reigining champion of this classification, but is now too old to qualify.

There is also the Team Competition, where the times of the top three riders of a team on a stage are combined to make their overall team time. The reigining champions are Team RadioShack.

I'll try to keep these updated each day during the race with the current holders. Might be a bit late each day with my sleep/work schedule though.


So what say you, SE++? Anyone else enjoy watching dudes on bikes for hours at a time every day for a month?


Stage 17

A breakaway escaped, culminating in an attack and win by another Norwegian. The main contenders couldn't crack each other on the final climb, but Contador and Sanchez seemed to gain time on the descent to the finish, before being caught by the others within the last kilometer. The loser of the day was race leader Voeckler who ended up in a carpark on the descent due to pushing too hard in the treacherous corners in an attempt to gain time, losing around 25 seconds but still holding onto his jersey by over a minute going into tomorrow's tough mountain stage.

Results:

1. Edvald Boasson Hagen (Norway) - Sky Procycling - :00
2. Bauke Mollema (Netherlands) - BMC Racing - :40
3. Sandy Casar (France) - FDJ - :50
4. Julien El Fares (France) - Cofidis - :50
5. Sylvain Chavanel (France) - Quick Step - :50

Standings:

1. Thomas Voeckler (France) - Europcar - :00
2. Cadel Evans (Australia) - BMC Racing - 1:18
3. Frank Schleck (Luxembourg) - Leopard-Trek - 1:22
4. Andy Schleck (Luxembourg) - Leopard-Trek - 2:36
5. Samuel Sanchez (Spain) - Euskaltel-Euskadi - 2:59

Yellow: Thomas Voeckler (France) - Europcar
Green: Mark Cavendish (Great Britain) - HTC-Highroad
Polka-dot: Jelle Vanendert (Belgium) - Omega-Pharma Lotto
White: Rigoberto Uran (Colombia) - Sky Procycling
Team: Garmin-Cervelo
Team Competition: Europcar

facetious on
"I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
Real strong, facetious.

Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
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Posts

  • TamTam I hate art I love artRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
  • godmodegodmode Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Ho ho ho! C'est un competition de valo, oui? Tres bien! Oui, j'ai une baguette! Merci beaucoup! C'est un taille-crayon! Nous avons a la plage.

  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    "le Tour" is about all the French I know.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Actually I was able to parse a surprising amount of that post.

    Which is surprising.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Oh and I just realised I fucked up the Shcleck thing. It's under 26, not 26 and under. So yeah.

    Edit: No wait.

    Right, he turns 26.. actually just this month.

    So he does qualify.

    My 4am logic is better than my 3pm logic. :(

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • KusuguttaiKusuguttai __BANNED USERS
    edited June 2011
    facetious wrote: »
    "le Tour" is about all the French I know.

    and that means 'the tower,' so

  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel Deus Vult! OsloRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Look, Tour de France is the worst event that can depicted by a television. I would rather see a televised event where my family was dragged to a glue factory, shot with pain lasers and sold to Columbian street children for huffing purposes than watch even five consecutive seconds of Tour de France.

    Fuck off and die.
  • SLyMSLyM Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    godmode wrote: »
    Ho ho ho! C'est un competition de valo, oui? Tres bien! Oui, j'ai une baguette! Merci beaucoup! C'est un taille-crayon! Nous avons a la plage.

    I am parsing this with 3 year old highschool french, but I assume it was written by the same, so here we go.

    "It is a bike competition, yes? Very good! Yes, I have a baguette! Thanks a lot! It is a pencil sharpener! We go to the beach."

    I'm pretty sure I have the subject and verb on that last sentence messed up.

    Steam Starcraft SLeague of Legends
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    the last one is actually "we have to the beach"

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • godmodegodmode Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Zat is what I want you to sink! Ho ho ho!

  • ArangArang Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    AMP'd wrote: »
    the last one is actually "we have to the beach"

    it's actually "we have (you) have the beach" because there's no accent, plus valo isn't a word

    creds on getting taille-crayon, though

    thenews.jpg
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    taille-crayon is a magnifique mot francais, true

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • CorporateLogoCorporateLogo Cream of my compulsions Rising to the tip of the spoutRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    What's the jersey color for the dudes that did steroids

    Do not have a cow, mortal.

    3DS: 2251-4432-9039

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  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel Deus Vult! OsloRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    What's the jersey color for the dudes that did steroids

    The entire visible spectrum.

    Fuck off and die.
  • AshcroftAshcroft Gimme dem Yens Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Uh oh I need to start training.

    tonkkatrikesig.jpg
    Gamertag: T0NKKA - Steam: evilumpire Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
  • mcpmcp Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Oh high school french

    when everyone giggled uncontrollable at "la piscine".

    walrus.png
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    les fouks

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • ArangArang Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    it's really easy to remember, because the pool is what you piss in

    thenews.jpg
  • jippeejippee Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    godmode wrote: »
    Ho ho ho! C'est un competition de valo, oui? Tres bien! Oui, j'ai une baguette! Merci beaucoup! C'est un taille-crayon! Nous avons a la plage.

    it's vélo, or bicyclette, you moron.

    Druhim wrote: »
    Most of the time, reading jippee's posts feels like he's posting from another planet or even a different solar system.
    tynic wrote: »
    also: SE++ gay as hell



  • FarthingFarthing Registered User
    edited June 2011
    j'ai pris un douche lolololololololololol

    edit: but seriously, so pumped for the tour.

  • godmodegodmode Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    jippee wrote: »
    godmode wrote: »
    Ho ho ho! C'est un competition de valo, oui? Tres bien! Oui, j'ai une baguette! Merci beaucoup! C'est un taille-crayon! Nous avons a la plage.

    it's vélo, or bicyclette, you moron.

    Yeah, this is the appropriate response to someone who hasn't spoken French in five years and was fucking around on an internet forum.

    You nailed it, champ ;)

  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Sometimes if I stop to think about it I can't actually understand myself why I enjoy watching cycling so much, and certainly can't explain it to anyone else.

    But I really really do! It's entertaining on a very large number of levels.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • LTMLTM Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Of all the things I never figured I'd see on here, its this thread.

    I am so stoked for this to start.

    Also, no Prologue this year. Let's just get right into the racing, I hope that bodes well for the Schlecks.

  • TamTam I hate art I love artRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    AMP'd wrote: »

    hey I didn't know they did a newer one
    man I love Kraftwek

  • LTMLTM Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Cervelo debuting the S5 during stage one.

    So sexy...so...so sexy...
    Spoiler:

  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I don't know what's more beautiful: the bike or the photography.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I like to watch this while riding my stationary.

    It gets me motivated.

    the-place-beyond-the-pines-03_thumb_zps3d4e0ec7.jpg
    360: Sir Stiggleton PSN: Stiggy_PA GFWL: RacerStig Steam: TheStig
  • LTMLTM Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    So this was from yesterday, but its still pretty sexy.
    Spoiler:
    Spoiler:
    Spoiler:

    Cancellara's custom TTT livery.

  • Ashaman42Ashaman42 Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Popped in to see my brother last year when the tour was on, he was channel hopping when we saw a stage was near it's finish.

    He's a keen motorcyclist and didn't look very impressed until the stage distance came on screen (think it was 80-90 miles, he looked at me in shock exclaiming "but that far in one go would hurt enough on the motorbike!!!"

    Made me chuckle it did.

    I've done some long bike rides myself but I'm pretty sure I'm taking at least ten times as long to cover the distance.

  • LTMLTM Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Leopard and Garmin are arguing about whether or not the moon landing was real...you can't make this shit up:
    Dinner table discussion @leopardtrek.... Is the moon landing true....!!?? There are meany opinions about a big hugh lie. Is it true.??
    @f_cancellara its true dude. USA not Swiss baby.

  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    That's pretty hilarious.

    Also I love Cancellara's bike. I love Cancellara in general.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Updated the OP.

    Stage one was kinda fun.
    Spoiler:

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Team time trials are kinda boring, aren't they?

    At least with solo time trials there's the drama with so many possible winners, but there are only so many teams.

    Also I never got around to updating the OP, but whatever.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • LTMLTM Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I think its just you and me, face. And I've been gone for 4 days...

    Also, the UCI can eat so many bags of dicks for this:
    While it did effectively measure saddle setback and aero-bar extensions, when commissaires put a level on top of riders’ saddles the officials assumed that the measuring jig was sitting level. Several savvy mechanics brought their own levels and pointed out that the jig was not.

    and this.

  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Heh, yes.

    In pleasanter news though, I was happy for Tyler Farrar, especially after the tragedy. I've been rooting for him to get that stage win for a while.

    Currently watching today's stage.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • facetiousfacetious a wit so dry it shits sandRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Holy shit, Hushovd retained yellow? I'm actually astonished, and I've always respected Hushovd's relative ability on the climbs for a sprinter.

    I hope Contador can regain some time on some of the early mountain stages if only to make the race more interesting.

    "I am not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde
    Real strong, facetious.

    Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
  • Vann DirasVann Diras Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I am going to co opt this thread since y'all seem to like bicycles

    Looking to buy a new one instead of the hand me down I've got now. If I'm looking to only use it in a pretty flat city, to school/work/etc that I can easily haul up and down my apartment building, how cheap can I get a decent bike?

  • LTMLTM Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    I just saw a single speed on craigslist the other day, pretty tricked out old track bike turned townie, for $300.

    That's probably on the low end of what it would cost to find something new that is pleasant to look at and ride in the city.

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