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The Massive Menace and You! Now: Giants NSF56k

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Posts

  • WietWiet Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    The real reason Melding made a thread about the undead is because he smells like one.

    XStly.jpg
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Wiet wrote: »
    The real reason Melding made a thread about the undead is because he smells like one.

    Well that's just not nice to say.

  • WietWiet Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Also your av/sig are both pretty neat I guess.

    XStly.jpg
  • MaceraMacera Registered User
    edited June 2011
    I always assumed demiliches were called so because they were similar in power to demi-gods. I can't remember if Morte from Torment was one.

    Death Knight post need more of this guy
    Spoiler:

    Morte wasn't a demilich; he attacked by biting and cursing

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  • MaceraMacera Registered User
    edited June 2011
    I'm at the end of Planescape and I hope there's a pleasant ending because damn I have grown fond of these characters

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  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I always assumed demiliches were called so because they were similar in power to demi-gods. I can't remember if Morte from Torment was one.

    Death Knight post need more of this guy
    Spoiler:

    That seems more a roving band of undead then necessarily a death knight. But is something to look out for all the same.

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    The guy in front is a Death Knight

    Lord Soth

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Interesting, but he also seems to have died a mortal. books are weird.

  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Dear MRE,

    I have recently come to purchase a rare volume from a used book dealership as part of an odd lot. It has fine leather binding, and the script looks antique, latin or arabic or similar. The handwriting is too poor for me to be sure of any guess. (Although I think it might be Sumerian)

    I was proud of the find, but recently I have found references to a similar text in an obscure medieval chronicle (held by most to be a forgery due to an illustration of a vehicle closely resembling a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88) which paint it in a rather negative light, and when attempting to find the previous owners, a number of incidents seemingly paranormal in nature had claimed the majority of their lives.

    Should I attempt to return the book for store credit?

    Sincerely

    Anxious reader

  • JedocJedoc Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    I really cannot believe that this sort of thing is tolerated in these forums. This thread is, from beginning to end, the worst kind of bigotry and hate speech.

    Just because someone's differently alive, all of a sudden everyone starts acting like they have no rights at all. Did you know that in most districts outside of Chicago, the dead aren't even allowed to vote? What's worse, as soon as you become dead your relatives can just come along and take your property, and you don't have the slightest legal defense.

    Threads like this one just show how far we have to go before we can truly exist as a multi-vital society. Deceased Americans are the largest cultural majority in this country, and we'd all do well to take notice before they decide to fight back. Some of our most prominent citizens are "in the casket," and more are joining them every day.

    Remember, inside every live, fleshy human is a skeleton just waiting to come out.

    cannon.jpg
  • ArangArang Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    latin, arabic and sumerian may be the three least similar-looking written languages in the world

    thenews.jpg
  • HunteraHuntera Talk phobos to meRegistered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Hey hey hey hey.



    I was advocating for Lich rights.

    hYSTarq.png?1
  • ArangArang Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    if you get your way, the lich will only get licher

    thenews.jpg
  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Arang wrote: »
    latin, arabic and sumerian may be the three least similar-looking written languages in the world

    I said it was really bad handwriting.

    I mean, it's embarrassing to look at.

    Also, I did express appreciation of Mr. Reginald Shoe's Fresh Start Club. Salt of the Earth, the lot of them.

    Well, except some of the zombies, on account they can't eat salt, be a bit offensive to bring that up.

  • LednehLedneh shinesquawk Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Arang wrote: »
    if you get your way, the lich will only get licher

    boooooo

    get off the stage

    Kadith wrote: »
    how do i get off [the bus], do i just start screaming
    well that'll get me off at least.
  • JedocJedoc Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    It's good to see that at least some people in this forum are standing up for those with alternative existencestyles.

    cannon.jpg
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    So, you've saved up for a gun, you got yourself a hammer, you just your car checked out, and you found an old motorcycle jacket.

    You've have everything you need to bring the fight to the undead right?

    Wrong. Let go over Other Essential Items

    mammutflash.jpg

    Rope is often one of the most useful tools. can be used to: set traps, tie down undead, secure objects, repel down into a cave, and much more. You should never leave home on the hunt with out rope.

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    Flashlight or Torch depending on who you ask. Useful for both searching at night and underground were most undead dwell. While you can have one punted to a weapon, it is often best to carry a larger one as well. When facing the forces of undeath too much light is not possible.

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    Holy Water is one of arguable use, but the times you need it make it worth while. often being able to get you out of life or death situations that would have been nearly inescapable otherwise. At the worst, we've also noticed many unliving things don't enjoy getting wet. So it's never completely with out worth.

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    Lighter(s) are becoming more and more useful. Fire is an excellent tool and weapon and having it on demand is invaluable. heating food, makeshift light source, impromptu weapon. all of these fire can do and has been doing well since the dawn of man.

    bicycleplayingcards.jpg

    Playing cards might seem like an odd thing to have on you at all times, but they have become one of the more trusted items in a kit. Able to combat both boredom and undeath is a rare thing to find. Many vampires have OCD and when hurled at them the vampires will often be compelled to pick them up and often sort them. This gives you a great escape, or an opportunity to attack.

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    Food and Water are key to basic human survival. A hunt can go on longer then expected, staying hydrated and fed can often be the difference between a fight going well, or joining the ranks of the walking dead. Water being the most important of the two, but bringing a snack can also boost moral if something isn't going well for you.

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    First Aid Kit and knowing how to use one is vital as well. You're going to get hurt, even if it isn't your quarry slashing at you. unexpected falls, sharp branches, rust nails, anything out there can cause harm, and being ready for it means a lot. Stalking down a ghoul with an infected cut will only stir them into attacking you so take care of your injuries.

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    Utility knife. There is a right tool for every job, and these often carry the third best thing in one package. If you don't have the space to carry a saw, a knife, a fish descaler, and so on, this right here can be a literal life saver. And starting off, you want as many things capable of saving your life as possible.

    basice.gif

    Flare Guns are best served when working in a group, but can also be used to alert others int he area that you need help. While attracting the police isn't necessarily the best idea at all times, if you're out numbered or injured, trying to get in touch with someone while away from civilization is a good idea. Also they can be used as mildly effective weapons in a pinch.

    cellphonedeals.jpg

    Cellular Phones are a good idea for much the same reason. as well, many have cameras and sound recorders built right in allow you to capture evidence and document your encounters to better plan for the future. While specialized devices might be better at these tasks, like the utility knife having them all in one device saves space and weight.

    And lastly

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    Identification is important for two reasons. First when skulking around sketchy places, being able to show the police or other authorities who you are is important. As well that you have a licence to carry that gun, or whatever questionable objects you might have on your person. The second reason is that, unfortunately, not every job is going to end well for you. being able to identify the body will help your friends and loved ones get closure after the worst happens.

  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Dear MRE,

    I have recently come to purchase a rare volume from a used book dealership as part of an odd lot. It has fine leather binding, and the script looks antique, latin or arabic or similar. The handwriting is too poor for me to be sure of any guess. (Although I think it might be Sumerian)

    I was proud of the find, but recently I have found references to a similar text in an obscure medieval chronicle (held by most to be a forgery due to an illustration of a vehicle closely resembling a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88) which paint it in a rather negative light, and when attempting to find the previous owners, a number of incidents seemingly paranormal in nature had claimed the majority of their lives.

    Should I attempt to return the book for store credit?

    Sincerely

    Anxious reader

    If you're gonna read it, don't do it aloud.

    If you do read it aloud, we're all fucked. Also, this phrase 'klaatu barada nikto' will prove to be a real life-saver...

    terriblepostsigpic.jpg
    AusPAX tickets get [X] Accomodation get [X] Plane tickets get [X] Goodie giftbags made [X]
  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Dear MRE,

    I have recently come to purchase a rare volume from a used book dealership as part of an odd lot. It has fine leather binding, and the script looks antique, latin or arabic or similar. The handwriting is too poor for me to be sure of any guess. (Although I think it might be Sumerian)

    I was proud of the find, but recently I have found references to a similar text in an obscure medieval chronicle (held by most to be a forgery due to an illustration of a vehicle closely resembling a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88) which paint it in a rather negative light, and when attempting to find the previous owners, a number of incidents seemingly paranormal in nature had claimed the majority of their lives.

    Should I attempt to return the book for store credit?

    Sincerely

    Anxious reader

    If you're gonna read it, don't do it aloud.

    If you do read it aloud, we're all fucked. Also, this phrase 'klaatu barada nikto' will prove to be a real life-saver...

    Duly noted.

    Oh, figured out what one of the other books was.

    Unaussprechlichen Kulten, by Friedrich Wilheim von Junzt. German first edition, which is apparently quite a find.

    Most copies were burned for some reason or other, and the English editions are expurgated, badly translated or both.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Dear MRE,

    I have recently come to purchase a rare volume from a used book dealership as part of an odd lot. It has fine leather binding, and the script looks antique, latin or arabic or similar. The handwriting is too poor for me to be sure of any guess. (Although I think it might be Sumerian)

    I was proud of the find, but recently I have found references to a similar text in an obscure medieval chronicle (held by most to be a forgery due to an illustration of a vehicle closely resembling a 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88) which paint it in a rather negative light, and when attempting to find the previous owners, a number of incidents seemingly paranormal in nature had claimed the majority of their lives.

    Should I attempt to return the book for store credit?

    Sincerely

    Anxious reader

    Dear Reader,

    I regret to inform you that we are not the Language Research Institute, and can not help you identify the books, though we have some hunches based on your description. It should be noted that in the case you did obtain a book with super natural origin reading it with any knowledge of the script used is ill-advised.

    With the noted fates of the previous owners, returning the book may largely be a bad idea. unless all deaths occurred while in possession the book, in which case, yes, return it as soon as able. If not then keeping it on a shelf to not be read ever, shouldn't be any more hazardous then keeping a still working gun on display. With caution and watchfulness, the odds of anything terrible happening are slim.

    Hailing to the king,

    D. Melding, Head of Undead Research, MRE

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited June 2011
    Jedoc wrote: »
    I really cannot believe that this sort of thing is tolerated in these forums. This thread is, from beginning to end, the worst kind of bigotry and hate speech.

    Just because someone's differently alive, all of a sudden everyone starts acting like they have no rights at all. Did you know that in most districts outside of Chicago, the dead aren't even allowed to vote? What's worse, as soon as you become dead your relatives can just come along and take your property, and you don't have the slightest legal defense.

    Threads like this one just show how far we have to go before we can truly exist as a multi-vital society. Deceased Americans are the largest cultural majority in this country, and we'd all do well to take notice before they decide to fight back. Some of our most prominent citizens are "in the casket," and more are joining them every day.

    Remember, inside every live, fleshy human is a skeleton just waiting to come out.

    We here at the Monster Research Emporium take complaints like yours very seriously. If you could please contact with your home address, picture of you and your loved ones, and any other information you are willing to share we will be sure to personally contact you with one of our Sensitivity Counsellors.

    Your Concerns about the ethical treatment of the undead are of great importance, and together we can work side by side to make the world a better place for all.


    Spoiler:

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    So you've found the trail to your first undead! What do you do now?

    This is what the guide has been preparing you for. You have a working knowledge of the basic and powerful undead types, you know what you should be using, and you have all your other gears arranged. What steps should be taken next?

    Step one: Identify what you are dealing with.

    You might not have seen what you are dealing with yet, what clues are you following? Each undead has it's own tell tale clues. Are the bodies beaten indiscriminately? is there a lot of dirty stab wounds containing dust? Is blood drained? Does it look like they died suddenly and with out cause? Is any of the corpse eaten?

    Answering these questions are important, as they will give you the quickest glimpse into what you're hunting and tells you were you should start looking.

    Step Two: Locating the Liar.

    Most undead beings have a safe place, one to stay out of the light, the weather, and away from prying eyes. Caves and crypts are among the most common, but they also will take to abandoned buildings, garbage dumps, public libraries, and any other place living people are not to commonly found. This is usually the longest part of the job as intelligent forms of undead go to great lengths to keep hidden, though with less intelligent beings, there is usual a literal blood trail to follow, a simple trail of killings.

    Step Three: Navigating the liar.

    Clever undead will often booby trap their liar. ranging from simple traps and alarms like strategically placed nails and tin tans, to the much more elaborate hidden dart traps, and in the most extreme of cases the lighting trap. It is important to keep an eye out and investigate everything that looks odd. Though do no touch these oddities, as they are often the trigger. It is best to note their location and avoid them at all costs. You might assume that you're save from these dangers with the less intelligent undead, but this simply isn't true. Most serve intelligent masters, who have similarly set up traps, though many simple have guards and hope to swarm and kill you for breaking in.

    Step Four: Combating the Menace Directly.

    So you found your quarry, navigated its traps and are now face to face with the soulless beast. Earlier int he guide we gave basic tips for combating each type of undead, they are no less true now. There are a few new tricks to keep in mind however, for example this area you are fighting them in is familiar to them, likely better suited to them, and probably very dark to boot. You must generally fight underhandedly, trying to blind them with your flash light is a common and effective tactic, as well luring them back through their own traps trying to get them to trigger them in an old favourite.

    Step Five: Secure the area

    This is often called "looting the room" but in most cases, there is generally just garbage in the area. The importance of this is to make sure you claim any dangerous artifacts, spell books, or weapons. As such making sure there is no more beasts hiding in the area, and any intelligent master is merely out of sight. Once the place this thoroughly checked however, it is job done.

    Congratulations, you are now officially trained int he most basic of ways to combat the undying threat.

    Good luck and Happy Hunting!

    knightonharley.jpg

  • MaceraMacera Registered User
    edited July 2011
    what about using the undead to fight the undead?

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  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    almost tempted to make an av/sig out of motorcycle knight

    0BnD8l3.gif
  • HunteraHuntera Talk phobos to meRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Dichotomy wrote: »
    almost tempted to make an av/sig out of motorcycle knight

    Sig only, I wouldn't recognize ya without the Tentacruel avatar.

    hYSTarq.png?1
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Macera wrote: »
    what about using the undead to fight the undead?

    Depends on what you mean by this.

    raising an army of zombies and skeletons to fight similar is a sound idea on paper, however there comes few complications.

    Firstly, other necromancers tend to be more skills, and more, how to say it nicely, willing to let morals slide?

    While we would be trying to use volunteers who have dead, or the long dead that can't object, they have no issue with raising the fresh corpses of the innocent. Some might argue that they will do that any way, but without the sudden urgency to do so they tend to move plots along slower hoping to avoid detection, while full war would remove this.

    If you mean becoming vampires to gain their powers to fight other undead, this almost always fails.

    While a vampire retains memories of life, they do not retain their personality and due to a lack of soul almost always become evil. in the event of an evil person doing this, there is a higher chance of success, however, they will eventually turn against us as is their nature.

    In short, this is not an advisable course of action, however if you feel the need to do so, do so with caution. the dark arts come at a high price.

  • Virgil_Leads_YouVirgil_Leads_You Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    seriously though,
    Necromancy Acadamy's class admission is through the roof.

    Steam Amazon Wishlist, what!? 3DS 4012 4146 9468
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    seriously though,
    Necromancy Acadamy's class admission is through the roof.

    www.instantrimshot.com

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    what about good liches

    0BnD8l3.gif
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Near as we can tell, the legend of a good lich is just that.

    while they might just be in hiding protecting some kind of terrible secret, or just shunning us we don't put in any stock in such thing being real.

    as well all current recorded ways of becoming a lich have dealings with demonic forces or worse. If someone has found a way to work around such limitations we would be interested in such research.

    No beatings. Promise.

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    look, just because a dude is willing to turn himself into a spooky skeleton monster to avoid death doesn't mean he's bad

    0BnD8l3.gif
  • HunteraHuntera Talk phobos to meRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Liches can also be formed of just extending your life, it takes awhile, and to do the spell in a certain way, but you can make it so you live forever, but your skin and organs waste away, while the bones do not.

    hYSTarq.png?1
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    The things necessary to become a lich are, unarguably evil acts. The one ritual on hand with the fewest fatalities is 4. All of which must be blood relatives.

  • HunteraHuntera Talk phobos to meRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Life extending spells aren't all-and-all bad.


    Though the non-bad ones aren't as efficient, you gotta do those again every couple centuries.

    hYSTarq.png?1
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    It should be noted, while affiliated, we are not the Magical Research Institute. We do not possess a full knowledge on all life extending spells, just those directly related to dealing with and creating the undead.

    If you would like to learn more on how to prolonging your life through eldritch and arcane means, please contact them directly.

    Edit: other departments have just contacted me to correct my statement. We do indeed possess other forms of magic, while none connected to life lengthening. But each field of study does have access to magic related to their field, as well and other useful spells.

  • Wandering HeroWandering Hero Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
  • AMP'dAMP'd Registered User regular
    edited July 2011
    liches get stitches

    or would if they had flesh

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • cj iwakuracj iwakura The Rhythm Rogue Coral Springs, FLRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Could easily write up a whole paragraph on the dangers of consorting with the Fae.
    Tricksy pixies.

    fiV9i14.jpg
    蒼く咲く華 日は灯り 天に流れる | Kill The Past
  • HunteraHuntera Talk phobos to meRegistered User regular
    edited July 2011
    Could switch this to The Paranormal and You! and have people write up topics of other, well, otherworldly menaces.

    hYSTarq.png?1
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