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The Fourth of July 2011 New Comic Thread

2

Posts

  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus The machine is broken. The universe is broken.Registered User regular
    dang, even sparklers?

  • Macro9Macro9 Registered User regular
    They're illegal here, too. That doesn't stop anyone, though.

    edit:

    Well, not all of them are illegal. Just the cool stuff.

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  • GaslightGaslight It's not your fault Video games are amazingRegistered User regular
    I love the art in the middle panel.

    Pretty much anytime we see Gabe or Tycho as kids in flashbacks, I get a kick out of it.

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  • Kayne Red RobeKayne Red Robe Registered User regular
    I think sparklers and a couple other exceedingly lame types are legal, but there really isn't anywhere that bothers selling them that I've seen.

  • jippeejippee Registered User regular
    Personal fireworks have been illegal in California since before I was born, I don't think I've even even seen a roman candle.

    We only get the chance to buy and ignite them for about 48 hours every year, at new years' eve. And since I've been scraping for money for years, and trying to feed my pets and keep them from harm and anxt, I try to not murder people who blow 1700 dollars/euros worth of powder and instead stay in to comfort the dog. The cats couldn't care less, thank god.

    Druhim wrote: »
    Most of the time, reading jippee's posts feels like he's posting from another planet or even a different solar system.

  • nateknatek Registered User regular
    they legalized non-explosive and non-aerial ones in minnesota about ten years ago, but I still see both kinds going off here
    before that, it was an outright ban on anything that was remotely fun
    so the majority of my childhood was sparklers and black snakes...

    5zqiq8.jpg
  • FactorySquirrelFactorySquirrel Registered User
    are those kids holding sparklers while standing in a kiddie pool

    that's silly

    I hadn't noticed that. That's funny.

    "That man is playing Galaga! He thought we wouldn't notice. But we did."
  • YukiraYukira Fuck with Aria? No.Registered User regular
    rhylith wrote: »
    Stupid drought. Gimme my fireworks Texas.

    At least we can have laser light shows!

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  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel Deus Vult! OsloRegistered User regular
    Fireworks are probably illegal here. I don't care because fireworks are a New Years thing and I don't really celebrate new years any more. It's minus thirty degrees Celsius and I live up a mountain. Mighty happy just staying inside and maybe watching it from a window.

    Fuck off and die.
  • jippeejippee Registered User regular
    Peter Ebel wrote: »
    Fireworks are probably illegal here. I don't care because fireworks are a New Years thing and I don't really celebrate new years any more. It's minus thirty degrees Celsius and I live up a mountain. Mighty happy just staying inside and maybe watching it from a window.

    hear, hear.
    Why freeze your as off when your demented neighbour has just invested a fuckillion amount of money into a lot of red exploding chinese paper without warning you you should have invested in industrial-sized ear protectors.
    And then waiting 4 months for the ice and snow to thaw out so people can have the street restored to its natural colour...

    Druhim wrote: »
    Most of the time, reading jippee's posts feels like he's posting from another planet or even a different solar system.

  • ASimPersonASimPerson And they will tremble again at the sound of our silence.Registered User regular
    Nah, they sell sparklers and other lame fireworks in grocery stores. I've never seen a proper stand there though.

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  • SirToastySirToasty Registered User regular
    It's probably been mentioned, but I love how the kids in the first panel are standing in a kiddie pool.

  • Element BrianElement Brian Registered User regular
    people holding roman candles fill me with unending rage

    THAT ISN'T WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THOSE

    I suppose I wasn't supposed to hold bottle rockets either, or time them so when I threw them they would shoot out of my hand directly at my friends. Man I miss Washington state...

    Also Gabe JR standing in the kiddie pool in case that sparkler gets out of hand.

    Brian you are literally the straw man nice guys have daily aneurysms over.

    WHY DO YOU TEXT HIM BACK HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE HE THREW YOU AWAY YOU WOULD BE MY QUEEN
    I like the idea of the carbonation in your pop being too much for your mormon body

    too worldly nooooo
  • Rorus RazRorus Raz C'est Waa Vie "I'm no PORN EXPERT"Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    I wonder how patriotic the average wizard is.

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  • No Great NameNo Great Name Registered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    Sounds like you live near 100 assholes!!

    Or, you know, people with pets, or small children

    He didn't say they were lighting them at an inconsiderate time. And pets? Really?

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  • Wrench N RocketsWrench N Rockets Registered User regular
    Janson wrote: »
    Sounds like you live near 100 assholes!!

    Or, you know, people with pets, or small children

    He didn't say they were lighting them at an inconsiderate time. And pets? Really?

    Some dogs chase things.

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  • kingworkskingworks Registered User regular
    Dummies misusing fireworks story:

    Back in high school, we had gotten hold a bunch of the good bottle rockets - the kind that would explode in a couple of colors (not just whistle and pop) - most likely from South of the Border, as that's the only place within a couple hundred miles of VA that you can get the good stuff. We drove out in a field and started cutting the sticks off.

    Why, you ask, would we cut the sticks off? Because we thought that putting them in the ground wasn't getting them adequate altitude. Not like, say, lighting and holding them until the wick was almost done and then throwing them high in the air. Because of course they'd go straight up, right?

    What we succeeded in doing was putting ourselves under seige by our own munitions. Imagine throwing a grenade, only to have it turn around in the air and try to take off your head.

    Good times.

    EDIT: I should point out that we only did it one time and, thank God, no one got hurt. Don't be stupid, kids. (Sadly, that's not the only story I have)

  • MichaelLCMichaelLC In what furnace was thy brain? ChicagoRegistered User regular
    They seem to have relaxed some rules around here in IL, as I've been seeing bigger kits in the stores that used to be 98% sparklers and 2% snakes.

    Back in my day, we had witch whistlers and those things were goddamn dangerous. Lighting some off one year, one swung around and hit my friend in the leg, burning though his shorts and causing some bruising.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXHY3jbyKVU

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  • ArcSynArcSyn Registered User regular
    I think fireworks have been illegal in NJ for a long time, because I remember being a kid and while we were on vacation my dad would find some fireworks store and we would sneak them home (not like there was border patrol, but we felt sneaky) and set them off on July 4th. Usually was only sparklers, but once in a while we'd get something like a roman candle or bottle rockets.

    Now that I'm a dad, I need to start sneaking sparklers across the border.

    Oh, and not like it stops anyone. You can always hear a few neighbors setting off stuff on New Years and July 4th each year. Not sure what the penalty is for them, but sparklers in the backyard shouldn't be an issue.

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  • No Great NameNo Great Name Registered User regular
    kingworks wrote: »
    Dummies misusing fireworks story:

    Back in high school, we had gotten hold a bunch of the good bottle rockets - the kind that would explode in a couple of colors (not just whistle and pop) - most likely from South of the Border, as that's the only place within a couple hundred miles of VA that you can get the good stuff. We drove out in a field and started cutting the sticks off.

    Why, you ask, would we cut the sticks off? Because we thought that putting them in the ground wasn't getting them adequate altitude. Not like, say, lighting and holding them until the wick was almost done and then throwing them high in the air. Because of course they'd go straight up, right?

    What we succeeded in doing was putting ourselves under seige by our own munitions. Imagine throwing a grenade, only to have it turn around in the air and try to take off your head.

    Good times.

    EDIT: I should point out that we only did it one time and, thank God, no one got hurt. Don't be stupid, kids. (Sadly, that's not the only story I have)
    You can get good fireworks in PA, which is closer to nova than south of the border.

    Also there are places to get good fireworks in state, you just gotta know the right people.

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  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    When I was a kid I had this buddy the neighborhood over who lived near that guy As I recall he like, worked at a place that made fireworks or something.

    or maybe he just drove to an indian reservation and spent like a thousand bucks, who knows

    but anyway he always had the good shit; not just the small airborne stuff that you can't buy most places, but stuff I'm pretty sure was meant for semi-professional use with bulky launch tubes and everything

    so anyway, we'd be playing with bouncers and bottle rockets or shooting ground blooms at each other with slingshots and he'd put on an impromptu show. It was probably completely illegal since I'm pretty sure you can't buy/use anything that elevates more than a couple feet or under its own power here, but it was a lot of fun.

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  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    oh, and saturn batteries provided endless opportunity for mischief

    hope? change? busproject.org
    my unofficial autobio will be accompanied with tips on how to smile
    cause I've found that when they don't see you frown, they never know that you're a threat
    and they don't sweat you when you came around
  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    Shit, fireworks accidents are some of the best memories in my family.

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  • DruhimDruhim Usagi's cuddlefish Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Oh man, my dad fucking loved fireworks. And not that fucking bullshit sparklers and snakes crap. He knew a guy that would smuggle the good stuff in through the port of Seattle and my dad would buy several bricks of firecrackers, dozens and dozens of m250s, and many bottle rockets among other good stuff. And my dad was pretty cool about letting us set them off whenever as long as we weren't really fucking stupid about it. So my brother and I would go off into the woods and blow up slugs and other stuff with m250s and of course have bottle rocket fights. Good times.

    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • The Geebs That Is A PonyThe Geebs That Is A Pony Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    I burnt my thumb lighting fireworks tonight. Not because I held on too long, or anything, but because apparently I have no goddamn clue how to use a cigarette lighter.

  • BucketmanBucketman Dyslexic Puppy Skraggle RockRegistered User regular
    Borommakot wrote: »
    people holding roman candles fill me with unending rage

    THAT ISN'T WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THOSE

    Spoken like a man who has never had roman candle fight.

    Or third degree burns.

    As adults aged 25-32 last night my friends and I shot them at each other yelling Harry Potter curses at each other with every shot.

    Then later I stuffed 3 of them in my fly and lit them to have a "Fire dick". I have no burns.

    sayiamansig_zps3b961859.jpg
  • OptyOpty Registered User regular
    Around here you're not allowed to sell fireworks until a week before the 4th. About every super market parking lot ends up with a fireworks tent exactly a week before and I've seen a couple of churches end up with one as well. They sell the good stuff that shoots shit in the air that whistles and explodes and all that type of blow-off-your-hand crap so I'm pretty sure full on fireworks aren't illegal. Where I grew up fireworks that launched shit into the air were illegal but everyone just drove to a neighboring state to grab the illegal crap with fireworks stores just past the border and the cops didn't really give a shit.

  • ASimPersonASimPerson And they will tremble again at the sound of our silence.Registered User regular
    I'm back in Alabama at my parents' for the 4th. Fireworks are illegal in cities but the borders are so irregular that there are unincorporated areas everywhere. The most powerful thing my dad was able to get this year were double shells, so what we did was we'd just set a single and double off at the same time.

    While we were outside we saw some other fireworks around the neighborhood, looks like some of the neighbors got some hands on some even bigger shells.

    Of course, I'm driving to Atlanta tomorrow via Chattanooga, so I'll pass that fireworks place/gas station in the median of I-24. Pretty sure those dudes are open year-round.

    So, yeah, if you want fireworks...

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  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    I remember last year, hanging out with some friends setting off fireworks. The look on everyone's face when we realized we stuck one of the mortar launched ones upside down was priceless.

    Also the mad scramble to get away before it exploded.

    Also the flaming bits of firework launched into the sides of some of the more expensive cars.

    Battletag BYToady#1454
  • HenroidHenroid Baba Booey to y'all Tyler, TX (where hope comes to die!)Registered User regular
    kingworks wrote: »
    Dummies misusing fireworks story:

    Back in high school, we had gotten hold a bunch of the good bottle rockets - the kind that would explode in a couple of colors (not just whistle and pop) - most likely from South of the Border, as that's the only place within a couple hundred miles of VA that you can get the good stuff. We drove out in a field and started cutting the sticks off.

    Why, you ask, would we cut the sticks off? Because we thought that putting them in the ground wasn't getting them adequate altitude. Not like, say, lighting and holding them until the wick was almost done and then throwing them high in the air. Because of course they'd go straight up, right?

    What we succeeded in doing was putting ourselves under seige by our own munitions. Imagine throwing a grenade, only to have it turn around in the air and try to take off your head.

    Good times.

    EDIT: I should point out that we only did it one time and, thank God, no one got hurt. Don't be stupid, kids. (Sadly, that's not the only story I have)

    I had to take summerschool one year in highschool, for a single class. One of the guys there I knew okay enough, and one day he had an M80 on him. "Dude I'm gonna set it off after class today it's gonna be so cool." Whatever. I didn't care one way or the other, and neither did my friend. Well, up until the time came.

    The guy invited us to come along since we were the only 'pals' of his from the class. We entered the hallway of the school from the courtyard, and he told us to start making our own break for it. So my friend and I just head in the direction of the parking lot right when the guy lights the short fuse. Then we hear something behind us. Close behind us. The fucker threw the thing in our direction. Being in a hallway, it was loud as fuck. A couple windows at the top of the hallway wall shattered, and would've been all over us if we didn't duck and cover just from the frightening boom.

    I couldn't hear anything for a couple seconds, but I saw a cop dashing toward us, gun drawn. I guess he thought someone fired a gun. He didn't suspect us at all, since we apparently looked really dazed. He asked if we saw anything, and we said we didn't. But the dude who brought the M80 got ratted out by someone else anyway the next day.

    It was one of the rare times my dad bothered taking me to the hospital, and while they said there was nothing wrong with my hearing maybe, I've had trouble hearing some frequencies (like generally phones) out of my right ear ever since.

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  • OddfishOddfish Registered User regular
    I live in Florida.

    There are Fireworks stands everywhere.

    Most of them are abutting or contained within the parking area of gas stations.

    God Damn Bless America.

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  • XeddicusXeddicus Registered User regular
    We spent $100 on a big package of fireworks yesterday for tonight, and then around 4:30 here in Sunny CA we get a damn mini-hurricane that blows trees over, floods the place and knocks the power out. Luckily it only lasted like 30 minutes and by the time it got dark things were back to normal. But:

    Fuck CA and it's lame ass fireworks laws. We spent as much time watching other peoples illegal entertaining stuff as we did our dozens of decent to crap fountains. The best ones out of the $100 were ones that 'malfunctioned' and acted like a bottle rocket partly or otherwise kinda sorta exploded. That comic is pretty spot on. The 4th was so much better in the past.

    "For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men. Not women. Not beasts...this you can trust."
  • BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    Considering half the state burns to the ground each summer, you should be happy you can still have lighters and matches.

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  • XeddicusXeddicus Registered User regular
    Thereby creating jobs. If they want to fix the economy they should unban decent fireworks! :)

    "For no one - no one in this world can you trust. Not men. Not women. Not beasts...this you can trust."
  • DarmakDarmak Godking of the Shitwizards CUNTINGFUCKSHITASSRegistered User regular
    Unrelated to fireworks, but my wife saw Willie Nelson in concert tonight and was totally excited to see several other famous country singers that she enjoys. She says it was the best 4th of July ever, despite the complete lack of fireworks.

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  • HoukHouk Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    My favorite thing as a kid was to light bottle rockets and hold onto them till the last minute, then toss them at my cousin's pool where they would ideally shoot off and explode right as they entered the water, creating an awesome exploding water cascade

    it was pretty awesome until one of them shot into my grandpa's face, who was getting ready to put lighter fluid into the grill to get it going. he didn't take so well to that

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  • FalxFalx Registered User regular
    A friend of mine's brother was insane.

    One day he built a home made pipe bomb out of PVC piping. He went and fetched his brother to "show him something cool."

    What my friend witnessed was said brother taking an inch thick steel plate, standing it on the pipe, and then getting on top of it.

    Threw him five feet straight up into the air while the smarter brother dove to the side hoping he doesn't get shrapnel in the face.

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  • DarmakDarmak Godking of the Shitwizards CUNTINGFUCKSHITASSRegistered User regular
    Falx, that is the best story ever

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  • Train DodgerTrain Dodger Registered User regular
    96xqtu.jpg

    That's no Ground Flower. It's a Britannian superweapon.

  • joshua1joshua1 Registered User
    See..... I have actually seen all of that particular animes, and I don't get the joke.

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