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Condoms are Killing My Love Life
Posts
http://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/latex.htm
While it isn't 100% it is far, far more effective than saying fuck it and not using one.
I give up. You win.
So yeah, the OP should not be tested, and everything I said was wrong, and I'm apparently arguing against the universal use of condoms against my own best judgement, and I obviously don't know how to read.
Exactly
As inconvenient as they may be, if you're not exclusive but want to sex it up it's better for both of their sakes to use condoms
This could be a situation where viagra might be a good option (if you can get it for this sort of thing?)... also I bet if you get used to sex with a condom whilst using some help, you might not need it after awhile?
Beyond7
Made in Japan from Sheerlon. Its latex but its thinner, more durable, and transfers heat much better. I broke just about every condom I tried until I found these, and I do not believe my dick is huge by any measure. Can find them at most sex shops and online.
protip: buy some of the studded ones and surprise her one night
WATER BASED LUBRICANT WILL NOT WEAKEN A CONDOM.....
The two I mentioned are safe for condom use. It says so on the bottle.
Also, most (if not all!) lubricated condoms are lubed inside and out. You just want more for the tip of your dick. Hell, I think the KY Silk bottle tells you do put some inside the condom before putting it on.
I'll second this and say I've heard some insanely good things about Beyond7, so give those a shot
Alternatively, she's being clear and honest with him about what she wants. How is that a bad thing? Why should she compromise for his sake if she wants a relationship with sex? There's nothing wrong with being clear about what you want in the relationship whether you're looking for a partner to fuck your feet because that really gets you off or you want a partner that never touches your neck. She knows what she wants and she's being honest about it. That's a good thing.
That is one way to look at it, and it's not a bad one at all, if you replace "don't ever touch my neck" with "this thing that is often down to nerves is bothering me, so the pressure of knowing that I will leave you for being nervous should help that." There are better ways to do this than issuing an ultimatum, such as taking the time to experiment with different condoms, time of day, alcohol consumption, etc. As far as I'm concerned, the condoms are a red herring. The problem is that she seems to not care enough to work through it with him, and if she can't give that kind of a shit then chances are she's not that interested in a real relationship with him no matter what he does. If that's the case, I think the part of him that's thinking of telling her to fuck off for bringing it down to this is spot-on, and probably the part he should listen to.
There are obviously details we don't have here, but I don't think I would consider a relationship that starts with an ultimatum, and if that's what the OP is ultimately looking for then I would seriously consider either keeping this thing strictly casual and staying emotionally detached or moving on altogether.
When I say it's irrelevant, I mean he should be wearing condoms regardless of whether she's on the pill or not, even if they're both tested.
Thinking about the fact that she is on the pill might make it seem more acceptable to suggest going without condoms when it isn't.
Also, like it's been mentioned, they're not exclusive. Not wearing a condom is just dumbassed behaviour in that case.
Try some of the suggestions floating around here, and try not to drink beforehand and to get started a little earlier, and see if it helps.
If she won't give you the time or the chance I wouldn't cry too much about it, though.
We went to a mutual friend's bday happy hour. Hung out, I tried to ask her to dinner to make up for all the crap, she says we should go outside and talk. We do, she explains how attracted she is to me and how awesome she thinks I am, but that it is completely frustrating that she has thus far been unable to get me off(yes, she has tried oral, but that's only gotten me off twice in my life, I'm fucking difficult) and really a deal-breaker. She wants to be able to jump me whenever. And condoms are important for pretty much every single reason you guys have listed. I don't think my prior behavior is acceptable, I'm just an irrepressible asshole. I tell her I understand that and I totally respect it (I do, sex is really important) but that I'm not willing to give up on how awesome it is when we are together, besides the sex part. I also explain that part of it is also due to the fact that I like her a lot and that I'm not used to that. She's never heard that affects guys before and was fairly dubious, but I can't blame her because I bullshit a lot.
So, I convince her to give me one last chance. A week from today, she wants to meet up and have sex. No dinner, no drinks. Just sex. Yeah, no pressure. We kiss, things are good, she's smiling at me again, birdies chirp.
While I have had some success of the past week messing around with condoms, I'm unfortunately not willing to leave this one up to my ability to battle my subconscious. Like I said, I'm in really good shape with no history of heart disease in my family, so I plan on procuring viagra from a trusted source. I know this is an awfully deceitful foot to start something serious off on, but frankly, my subconscious does not play fair, so I see no reason why I should, either.
Not the happiest ending, but hopefully things work out.
give me one last chance to not have performance issues!! i'm sure this won't cause any!! time to commit a crime so I can deceive someone into thinking I have a hard on!
this has all the makings of a sit com, and much like a sit com, isn't funny
edit: but, yes, as I am a terrible person, I would have probably done the same thing.
that is, to put it mildly, balls out retarded