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Awesome: 'Pathetic Geek Stories - the Return of the Geekening' by Blankzilla

BlankzillaBlankzilla Hi, buddy!Kickin' chairs.Registered User regular
  Bedigunz likes this Post written by Blankzilla
about two years ago
"His dad's reaction made me stop breathing"
Okay, the Kamehameha story:

During Elementary School me and the neighborhood kids loved watching Toonami and all of the good-to-crappy anime that came with it. Our favorite, of course, was Dragon Ball Z. We obsessed over every episode, came up with our own characters and talked about how we were totally sayians you guys.

Our game of choice was Story. It was essentially Fanfiction Masterpiece Theatre mixed with DnD. We had one kid be the storyteller, they would decide whether something a player did was allowed within the story, meanwhile the rest of us pulled out characters from anything we could thing of and went wild.

Surprisingly, there was only one girl in the group. Her name was Erin and she was the older sister of one of the younger guys, and the same age as me. This, of course, made her the perfect woman to me. Unfortunately, another guy in the group, also named Zach, thought the same thing.

Zach and I didn't get along very well. He was loud, angry and kind of a nerdy meathead. Unfortunately that meant that he completely outclassed me physically. Story was pretty much the only time I could get a leg up on him.

So, we were playing the usual game. I was Goku, he was Vegeta and we were in a duel to the death. Punches were thrown, energy balls were flying. It was a battle of the ages. Of course, if you were driving by it would have looked like two idiot kids running around screaming things at each other. An easy mistake to make.

So, the battle raged on. I looked to the sidelines and saw Erin watching. My time had come. I looked Zach dead in the eyes, cocked a smile and yelled "SUPER SAIYAN INFINITY". The unstoppable move. There was no way he could top it. I look at Erin and start to smile when I hear to my side "uh...well..SUPER SAIYAN DOUBLE INFINITY"

What the fuck was he doing. There is no double infinity. Infinity is the highest it goes! He was breaking the rules.

And so it went until we reached Ninth Infinity. Finally, the storyteller tells us to stop powering up and just fight each other. While playing a DBZ game. Hilarious.

I plant my feet, channel my ki and send the best spirit bomb in the entire world crashing into his head.

He throws a soccer ball at my dick and yells KAMEHAMEHA.

To make it worse, being a young man who was thinking about a pretty girl, I had a raging erection.

I don't think I've ever seen my dad laugh so hard as when I came limping in and explained what happened.

Posts

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    This made me laugh for a minute or so

  • BlankzillaBlankzilla Hi, buddy! Kickin' chairs.Registered User regular
    The other stories:
    The Costume
    Spoiler:


    Swimmin' in a River:
    Spoiler:

    The Hose
    Spoiler:

  • EdcrabEdcrab Registered User
    Blank is dominating that thread

    Five stars. I mean I can't actually hand them over right now, but I will at your earliest convenience

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  • StaleStale Registered User regular
    Bitchfish is perhaps the best thing ever

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  • ThreeCubedThreeCubed Registered User
    Oh Blank, you've wooed me.

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  • BlankzillaBlankzilla Hi, buddy! Kickin' chairs.Registered User regular
    Mission: accomplished.

  • Man in the MistsMan in the Mists Registered User regular
    (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)

    Wonderful.

  • KorlashKorlash Registered User
    edited July 2011
    Solar wrote:
    This made me laugh for a minute or so

    Same here. I laughed so much I had trouble breathing. <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

    I can totally understand the father. I would have laughed my ass off as well.

    EDIT: Jesus christ, that digimon story makes me want to hug the past you.

    Korlash on
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  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Korlash wrote:
    Solar wrote:
    This made me laugh for a minute or so

    Same here. I laughed so much I had trouble breathing. <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

    I can totally understand the father. I would have laughed my ass off as well.

    EDIT: Jesus christ, that digimon story makes me want to hug the past you.

    Digimon story makes me think of Anasi Boys and President's Day.

    That was a good book.

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  • RichyRichy Registered User regular
    She said, in her broken English "Zack, you funny just like Homer Simpson."

    I did not woo this woman.

    That made my evening.

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  • noir_bloodnoir_blood Registered User regular
    Oh man, my friends and I totally played a variation of story. Except we didn't have a storyteller so... Has anyone read Sandman? The battle between Dream and a demon in which each takes a different form to beat the other? It was like that but stupider

    Spoiler:
  • Triple BTriple B Registered User regular
    Blankzilla wrote:
    He throws a soccer ball at my dick and yells KAMEHAMEHA.

    oh god

    ahahahahaha

    (*) (*) (*) (*) (*)

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  • DawasaurusDawasaurus In a forestRegistered User regular
    All of these stories make me nostalgic for my own awkward childhood.

    Oh man, if my sister and I were younger, when started watching Dragonball Z, we totally would have been running around role-playing Goku/Vegeta battles, too. But we were just high schoolers goofing around. So instead, all I have is one brilliant moment outside at dusk, where I randomly mimed out a powering up scene and (by sheer coincedence) there was a loud crack of thunder (plus wicked lightening) to enhance the moment when I ascended to Super Saiyan. It was perfect.

  • SolarSolar Registered User regular
    Also that digimon costume story is so fucking sad

    I
    Korlash wrote:
    Solar wrote:
    This made me laugh for a minute or so

    Same here. I laughed so much I had trouble breathing. <img class=" title=":lol:" class="bbcode_smiley" />

    I can totally understand the father. I would have laughed my ass off as well.

    EDIT: Jesus christ, that digimon story makes me want to hug the past you.

    Yeah the digimon story is harsh man

    I want to hug him too

  • ToxTox I kill threads Pharezon's human garbage heapRegistered User regular
    edited August 2011
    A tribute!
    W2 wrote:
    ijnr9pwrl.jpg

    Pretty rough, cause I am not good at Photoshop.

    Context.

    Tox on
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    James Dean was the actor, Jimmy Dean was in the sausage business.

    James Deen is both an actor AND in the sausage business.
    Secret Satans! Post | Gaming Wishlist | General Wishlist
    Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • chromdomchromdom That Guy Tiny town south of the cool cityRegistered User regular
    edited August 2011
    Disregard. I am in the wrong thread. Sorry!

    chromdom on
    Darmak wrote: »
    You haven't lived until you've fucked a hole in the ground till you died.
  • KazaxatKazaxat Registered User regular
    Am I the only one upset that Vegeta is throwing out Kamehamehas?

    Excellent stories though.

  • CanadianWolverineCanadianWolverine Registered User regular
    Blankzilla, they weren't ready for your awesome but we are. :D

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