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PA comic: Friday August 26, 2011

BrogeyBrogey High MaintenanceSanta Monica, CASuper Moderator, Moderator mod
edited August 2011 in The Penny Arcade Hub
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Fix Your Shit
After you’ve been matchmade in League of Legends, you move to a screen where you can watch each player’s loading bar creep up as you enter the game. It seems like this would be a boredom factory, but it’s actually alright: this is the first time you’re able to see your opponents in a normal game, so it’s typically a flurry of “oh no’s” and “not him‘s” and so forth. You use this time to crank up a kill order on the opposite team, talk about item builds, and so forth. This is something that can keep you occupied for, oh, maybe a minute or so.

Occasionally, you are given much, much longer.

The wide range of hardware the game is available on means that people are attempting to play it on microwaves or on dad’s old shitbox they found in the attic or some other scantily apportioned semi-functional mousetrap, mousetraps not being known for their reliable wireless-fi, which means that for the better part of the match they will exist in the non-place between loading and execution. You’ll still get plenty of execution, though - of your own body, because shitbox.

I have no idea if Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine is any good. It’s impossible for me to tell. All I know, all I really know, is that I must buy and buy immediately. In The Grim Darkness Of The Future, there is only brand loyalty.

I wish that weren’t enough; I wish that I were stronger on every axis. That I could be strong for you, be useful! But no. All I want to do is grind right through an orc with a sword that is also a chainsaw. Relic couldn’t be better suited to it: they’ve been making this game for years and years, just from a different perspective, with the camera situated way up in the sky looking down on everybody. The meticulous, almost living animations that have defined the series drop with all their heft and confidence. The sawing is as good as one might hope, if not better, but…

The environments in the demo feel lifted from an RTS sometimes, though - don’t they? Don’t they lack the lived-in cranny, don’t they have scale without granularity? Aren’t there a no i’ve got to fight it i’ve got to fight it

(CW)TB out.

should i want anything else

Brogey on
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Posts

  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    The joke everyone was making. Now in comic form!

    3rd panel is quite excellent though. That pinky.. edit: makes me think of Artosis when he plays Starcraft. Or is the soviet version of drinking tea, you hold your pinkies out when you play NGage?

    Does the stark white background in the first two panels strike anyone as odd sitting right next to the soft blue background of the third?
    edit: Because it's completely untouched and just seems blank, not just because it's the color white.

    JAEF on
    Battle.net ID: Jaef#1126 -- Steam: Jaef -- PSN: Jaef -- League of Legends: Jaef
  • TurambarTurambar Captain 'Crawler of the Warship XavierRegistered User regular
    This comic amuses me

    nc_sig_1.png
    Origin: Turamb | Steam: Turambar | 3DS: 3411-1109-4537 | NNID: Turambar
  • godmodegodmode Nooo-ooo-ooo... That ain't dancin', SallyRegistered User regular
    Panel 3 for Panel of the Year

  • IoloIolo i not L Registered User regular
    Who's a good dog!?

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    Not buying or backing any games for myself in 2014.
  • lizbotlizbot Registered User regular
    Third panel: he just looks so happy, that I can't help but feel happy for him.

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  • Speed RacerSpeed Racer I'm Speed Racer and I drive real fast. I drive real fast, I'm gonna last.Registered User regular
    sort of funny in retrospect how everyone used to think that a cellphone that can play games was the stupidest idea ever

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  • acidlacedpenguinacidlacedpenguin Registered User regular
    yep, the n-gage was the Pontiac Aztec of the cellphone world.

    GT: Acidboogie PSNid: AcidLacedPenguiN
  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    Is league of legends the messiah of video games or something? So many lol comics.

  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Langly wrote:
    Is league of legends the messiah of video games or something? So many lol comics.

    It's sort of the WoW of right now I guess. Everyone gets their friends playing, everyone gets together and plays team games at certain times. It's definitely filled a WoW niche for a lot of people, while also enticing people who wouldn't play an MMO but enjoy the competitive esport aspect.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • kingworkskingworks Registered User regular
    Look, not all of us can afford the latest Alienware gaming rigs, okay?

    Some of us have a gaming budget akin to scrounging through the bargain bins of electronics stores in third world countries.

  • BroloBrolo Broseidon Lord of the BroceanRegistered User regular
    Nothing was worse than Street Fighter IV on PC for this.



    If your opponent didn't have a decent computer, the game would slow down to as bad as 1/4 speed.

    In a fighting game.

  • OddfishOddfish Registered User regular
    Langly wrote:
    Is league of legends the messiah of video games or something? So many lol comics.

    Only one way to find out for yourself, y'know.

    I was like "what's all the hullaballoo!?" for about two months then just decided to try it. It is free, after all. Had a blast. Got some of my friends and coworkers playing it. Good times. I think all that is worth "free".

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  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    League is a good game, yes. But I've grown tired of Riot's business model - that is - the model to milk it for all its worth. They figured out that they can make $$$ just by releasing a new hero on a bi-weekly schedule and occasionally releasing new skins for older existing heroes. The game has not grown or evolved in over a year.

    I've been away from the game for about 9 months. But I might actually pick it up again when the new Dominion mode comes out. Because in my eyes, that's the first true growth that the game will have seen in ... well... forever.

  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Also it can be actually free. I've dropped $50 on it, one of my main buds has probably dropped hundreds, but my primary buddy for playing LoL with has been playing a year and a half and spent exactly 0 dollars on the game.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • LarsLars Registered User regular
    I'm confused. Didn't they just have a comic a week or two ago about how everyone has been connected to the internet with a stable high speed connection for over a decade so they shouldn't complain about the recent Diablo III news?

    Seems a little hypocritical to turn around and then complain about people with bad connections ruining their LoL experience. Or perhaps it's to be taken the other way, continuing the joke by saying that obviously only people in the Russian wilderness would have bad internet connections in this day and age.

    ae26.jpg
  • kingworkskingworks Registered User regular
    Rolo wrote:
    Nothing was worse than Street Fighter IV on PC for this.

    If your opponent didn't have a decent computer, the game would slow down to as bad as 1/4 speed.

    In a fighting game.
    I remember playing the original Street Fighter II in the arcade. It was only slightly faster than that video.

  • Jam WarriorJam Warrior Registered User regular
    Lars wrote:
    I'm confused. Didn't they just have a comic a week or two ago about how everyone has been connected to the internet with a stable high speed connection for over a decade so they shouldn't complain about the recent Diablo III news?

    Seems a little hypocritical to turn around and then complain about people with bad connections ruining their LoL experience. Or perhaps it's to be taken the other way, continuing the joke by saying that obviously only people in the Russian wilderness would have bad internet connections in this day and age.

    The point the other week wasn't that everyone has high speed stable internet. It was that a majority of those loudly complaining on message boards about the need to be always online are in fact always online. For the complaining.

  • LucascraftLucascraft Registered User regular
    Lars wrote:
    I'm confused. Didn't they just have a comic a week or two ago about how everyone has been connected to the internet with a stable high speed connection for over a decade so they shouldn't complain about the recent Diablo III news?

    Seems a little hypocritical to turn around and then complain about people with bad connections ruining their LoL experience. Or perhaps it's to be taken the other way, continuing the joke by saying that obviously only people in the Russian wilderness would have bad internet connections in this day and age.

    The point the other week wasn't that everyone has high speed stable internet. It was that a majority of those loudly complaining on message boards about the need to be always online are in fact always online. For the complaining.

    Also, the joke a week ago was about connectivity. Today's joke is about hardware. This is much more apparent in the newspost. For all we know, Comrade Russian is sitting on the world's greatest wireless internet hotspot. But it doesn't matter because he's playing LoL on an NGage.

  • LarsLars Registered User regular
    Lucascraft wrote:
    Lars wrote:
    I'm confused. Didn't they just have a comic a week or two ago about how everyone has been connected to the internet with a stable high speed connection for over a decade so they shouldn't complain about the recent Diablo III news?

    Seems a little hypocritical to turn around and then complain about people with bad connections ruining their LoL experience. Or perhaps it's to be taken the other way, continuing the joke by saying that obviously only people in the Russian wilderness would have bad internet connections in this day and age.

    The point the other week wasn't that everyone has high speed stable internet. It was that a majority of those loudly complaining on message boards about the need to be always online are in fact always online. For the complaining.

    Also, the joke a week ago was about connectivity. Today's joke is about hardware. This is much more apparent in the newspost. For all we know, Comrade Russian is sitting on the world's greatest wireless internet hotspot. But it doesn't matter because he's playing LoL on an NGage.

    Good point.

    ae26.jpg
  • IvarIvar Registered User regular
    sort of funny in retrospect how everyone used to think that a cellphone that can play games was the stupidest idea ever

    The idea itself wasn't so bad, but the implementation was a crappy game system glued to a crappy phone

  • mavmav Registered User
    So I guess as a new user I can't make threads? Great! So I guess I'll put this here. Wallpapers, etc. While I think it would be a really great idea for a website, it probably already exists. However! That's not the point. The point is that the backend on the new PA is completely one hundred percent pure grade A fucked. I'm not complaining just to complain, I'm saying that I need wallpapers and I don't know how to get them. Like, Google it, right? Nah son that shit don't work no more. There used to be a hub for wallpapers, etc. Back in the days before days. That doesn't exist anymore. Barring that, the solution was always to do a search of the news post archive, but it turns out you can't do that anymore. What will work is if you search the comic archive for strips vaguely related to the thing you're looking for (e.g. Twisp and/or Catsby), and then go to the newspost from there. That's what worked in the past anyway. Now? All the links in the archives are dead, and a good number of the comics aren't even showing up either. I just don't get it man. So, yeah, we need more wallpaperzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  • NoisymunkNoisymunk Let's go down to the beach. Rhode IslandRegistered User regular
    mav wrote:
    So I guess as a new user I can't make threads? Great! So I guess I'll put this here. Wallpapers, etc. While I think it would be a really great idea for a website, it probably already exists. However! That's not the point. The point is that the backend on the new PA is completely one hundred percent pure grade A fucked. I'm not complaining just to complain, I'm saying that I need wallpapers and I don't know how to get them. Like, Google it, right? Nah son that shit don't work no more. There used to be a hub for wallpapers, etc. Back in the days before days. That doesn't exist anymore. Barring that, the solution was always to do a search of the news post archive, but it turns out you can't do that anymore. What will work is if you search the comic archive for strips vaguely related to the thing you're looking for (e.g. Twisp and/or Catsby), and then go to the newspost from there. That's what worked in the past anyway. Now? All the links in the archives are dead, and a good number of the comics aren't even showing up either. I just don't get it man. So, yeah, we need more wallpaperzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    There's a thread in the PA Library subforum where an industrious user has saved the wallpapers for us.
    http://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/63278/wallpapers/p1


  • FandeathisFandeathis Registered User regular
    LoL is not my favorite game, though I will be coming back to try out that new Dominion mode. This comic however is a joke I would make regularly, and I am happy to see it. :)

    You fuck wit' Die Antwoord, you fuck wit' da army.
  • Sir PenguinSir Penguin Registered User regular
    Comrade Dog is adorable. <3

  • Apple PieApple Pie Registered User
    I keep forgetting that the comic thread is here now.

    And yay St. Bernards.

  • GaslightGaslight Registered User regular
    They must have really appreciated the chance to make fun of the N-Gage again after all these years.

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  • Eat it You Nasty Pig.Eat it You Nasty Pig. tell homeland security 'we are the bomb'Registered User regular
    I love that comrade dog looks vaguely worried

    perhaps he has in fact been sent to rescue comrade playing-lol-on-his-ngage

    gkcmatch_zps97480250.jpg
    remember pluto? Once a planet but now a pseudo
    funny how information changes the facts that you know
  • LanglyLangly Registered User regular
    Oddfish wrote:
    Langly wrote:
    Is league of legends the messiah of video games or something? So many lol comics.

    Only one way to find out for yourself, y'know.

    I was like "what's all the hullaballoo!?" for about two months then just decided to try it. It is free, after all. Had a blast. Got some of my friends and coworkers playing it. Good times. I think all that is worth "free".

    I can't spare the time to get into a game that requires a MMO level of commitment to get good/reach a level where I'm actually useful.

    Because, babies.

  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Langly wrote:
    Oddfish wrote:
    Langly wrote:
    Is league of legends the messiah of video games or something? So many lol comics.

    Only one way to find out for yourself, y'know.

    I was like "what's all the hullaballoo!?" for about two months then just decided to try it. It is free, after all. Had a blast. Got some of my friends and coworkers playing it. Good times. I think all that is worth "free".

    I can't spare the time to get into a game that requires a MMO level of commitment to get good/reach a level where I'm actually useful.

    Because, babies.

    I think that unlike an MMO, LoL works because there are a variety of skill levels and different play formats. Now, if you have extremely minimal time to commit, you'll probably be most interested in co-op play versus bots. I think that's the main thing Gabe and Tycho play too.

    Everyone is waiting to see what the new map/game type does, too. Since game will be significantly shorter in length, it could have a huge impact on time commitments for playing.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • FandeathisFandeathis Registered User regular
    Darkewolfe wrote:
    Langly wrote:
    Oddfish wrote:
    Langly wrote:
    Is league of legends the messiah of video games or something? So many lol comics.

    Only one way to find out for yourself, y'know.

    I was like "what's all the hullaballoo!?" for about two months then just decided to try it. It is free, after all. Had a blast. Got some of my friends and coworkers playing it. Good times. I think all that is worth "free".

    I can't spare the time to get into a game that requires a MMO level of commitment to get good/reach a level where I'm actually useful.

    Because, babies.

    I think that unlike an MMO, LoL works because there are a variety of skill levels and different play formats. Now, if you have extremely minimal time to commit, you'll probably be most interested in co-op play versus bots. I think that's the main thing Gabe and Tycho play too.

    Everyone is waiting to see what the new map/game type does, too. Since game will be significantly shorter in length, it could have a huge impact on time commitments for playing.

    I am seriously hoping to be able to jump in, play a quick game, and get back on with trying to become an accountant. My time is quite limited, and regular LoL takes way too long.

    You fuck wit' Die Antwoord, you fuck wit' da army.
  • DarkewolfeDarkewolfe Registered User regular
    Yeah. The new map is supposed to take 22 minutes at most or something like that. Could be a revolutionary change to the DotA type format.

    "Well, look at this. Appears we got here just in the nick of time. What's that make us?"
    "Big Damn Heroes, Sir."
    "Ain't we just."
  • HenroidHenroid Nobody Nowhere fastRegistered User regular
    I'm gonna get LoL and load it up on my shitty computer / internet connection, even after I get my new PC, because y'know what? Fuck that rabid playerbase.

    "Ultima Online Pre-Trammel is the perfect example of why libertarians are full of shit."
    - @Ludious
    PA Lets Play Archive - Twitter - Blog (6/15/14)
  • PeccaviPeccavi oh... oh my!Registered User regular
    I would love a 4th Panel for this comic
    Spoiler:

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  • jwalkjwalk Registered User regular
    Henroid wrote:
    I'm gonna get LoL and load it up on my shitty computer / internet connection, even after I get my new PC, because y'know what? Fuck that rabid playerbase.

    bust out my old Celeron 300mhz and 14.4 modem and just sit there loading games.
    that's it, just load, immediately quit, and go back to loading another game

    that'll learn em.

  • HenroidHenroid Nobody Nowhere fastRegistered User regular
    Rolo wrote:

    Yeah we're kinda goin' nuts for Rainbow and Slash over that news. :^:

    "Ultima Online Pre-Trammel is the perfect example of why libertarians are full of shit."
    - @Ludious
    PA Lets Play Archive - Twitter - Blog (6/15/14)
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus ha ha just kidding I'm Frog ManRegistered User regular
    I wonder how many young people on this forum have no idea what the N-Gage was.

  • TankHammerTankHammer Extreme Ghostbuster Registered User regular
    Henroid wrote:
    Rolo wrote:

    Yeah we're kinda goin' nuts for Rainbow and Slash over that news. :^:

    Oh wow, this is GREAT NEWS! I thought all hope of another episode in game form was lost.

    4icmw.jpg TankHammer | huWRIjA.png Dear Satan | 2zivq6q.jpg
    yUApdW3.jpg
  • JuliusJulius Registered User regular
    Darkewolfe wrote:
    Langly wrote:
    Oddfish wrote:
    Langly wrote:
    Is league of legends the messiah of video games or something? So many lol comics.

    Only one way to find out for yourself, y'know.

    I was like "what's all the hullaballoo!?" for about two months then just decided to try it. It is free, after all. Had a blast. Got some of my friends and coworkers playing it. Good times. I think all that is worth "free".

    I can't spare the time to get into a game that requires a MMO level of commitment to get good/reach a level where I'm actually useful.

    Because, babies.

    I think that unlike an MMO, LoL works because there are a variety of skill levels and different play formats. Now, if you have extremely minimal time to commit, you'll probably be most interested in co-op play versus bots. I think that's the main thing Gabe and Tycho play too.

    Also, you can drop out for a time and come back without having to change your game. The time you put in does not fade as quickly as it does with an MMO.

  • DocshiftyDocshifty Registered User regular
    Everytime matchmaking in HoN finds me opponents and I see that little grey ball indicate they're not loading, I just want to yell.

    docshifty.png
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