Your Breakup Stories

ceres

That sucks. Some people be crazy.

Skull Man

on the other hand my next girlfriend lived 700 miles away for a good while, and we've been together for over six years

so

Apolloh

ceres wrote:

That sucks. Some people be crazy.

I know. Shame it had to end on that note, because all in all, it worked out pretty well.

ceres

Apolloh wrote:

ceres wrote:

That sucks. Some people be crazy.

I know. Shame it had to end on that note, because all in all, it worked out pretty well.

Faking cancer would definitely be the end for me though, what the fuck.

MrMonroe

one time the girl I wanted to marry dumped me for good over the phone so she could fuck her ex-boyfriend

I got a gun and was gonna give myself a closed-casket funeral but then I went to the hospital

and that's the story of how I missed my '09 forum battle

Mortal Sky

Silent Bob wrote:

So there's me and Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then four months down the road, the idiot gear kicks in, and I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Which, as we all know, is a really dumb move. But you know how it is: you don't wanna know, but you just have to, right? Stupid guy bullshit. So, anyway, she starts telling me about him... how they fell in love, and how they went out for a couple of years, and how they lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... and I'm okay. But then she drops the bomb on me, and the bomb is this: it seems that a couple of times, while they were going out, he brought some people to bed with them. Ménage à trois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind, right? I mean, I am not used to this sort of thing. I mean, I was raised Catholic, for God's sake.

jay wrote:

Saint Shithead.

[Silent Bob elbows him; Jay motions as if to start a fight]

Silent Bob wrote:

So I'm totally weirded out by this, right? And then I just start blasting her. Like... I don't know how to deal with what I'm feeling, so I figure the best way is by calling her a slut, right? And tell her she was used. I'm... I'm out for blood. I really wanna hurt this girl. I'm like, "What the fuck is your problem?", right? And she's just all calmly trying to tell me, like, it was that time and it was that place and she doesn't think she should apologize because she doesn't feel that she's done anything wrong. I'm like, "Oh, really?" That's when I look her straight in the eye, I tell her it's over. I walk.

jay wrote:

Fuckin' A!

Silent Bob wrote:

No, idiot. It was a mistake. I didn't hate her. I wasn't disgusted with her. I was afraid. At that moment, I felt small, like... like I'd lacked experience, like I'd never be on her level, like I'd never be enough for her or something like that, you know what I'm saying? But, what I did not get, she didn't care. She wasn't looking for that guy anymore. She was... she was looking for me, for the Bob. But, uh, by the time I figure this all out, it was too late, man. She moved on, and all I had to show for it was some foolish pride, which then gave way to regret. She was the girl, I know that now. But I pushed her away. So, I've spent every day since then chasing Amy... so to speak.

Charles Kinbote

Waka Laka wrote:

Nogs wrote:

i met this Coi guy too eventually

didn't wear shoes.

feet were fucking naasty

plus he was starting to get an infection but refused to go to the doctor.

Girls and their fetishes with guys who "don't give a shit"

"He bashes me, but I love him. You don't understand!"
"He is always on drugs and angry, but I love him! I don't know why"
"His smelly infected feet are so attractive! You would not know"

Herp derp.

misogyny and its

well, no, just misogyny

Rolo

my last relationship did not go so well

Beasteh

when i was 7 this girl told me i was her boyfriend and kept punching me and pulling my hair

Fandyien

i broke my foot looking for my ex in the rain in georgia and then i found her sucking another dudes dick

awkward

worst vacation ever, to boot

crwth

my last (only) breakup was

hmm...back in 07

i was really sad for a long time and then i got less sad but then i got more sad because of different things on top of that

so now in this year of our lord jesus christ 2011 i have convinced myself that i'm just not a dude ladies want to be in a relationship with

it is a self-fulfilling prophecy

Charles Kinbote

I'm in a weird situation now

there's this girl who decided that she was in love with me maybe a year ago
she wrote me a letter back in maaay and made me a mix cd and has apparently been spending all her time pining over me

but it isn't real! I mean, she isn't really in love with me, she's just confused. I honestly feel as though I'm not really a part of it, it's just her own thing

her housemate and I have a bit of a thing, though, but we're gonna sit down and (I think) stop that in the next couple days

Fandyien

my ex was a huge alcoholic bitch and all we did for the last year of our relationship was lie to each other about how many drugs we were doing / whether or not we were fucking dudes (i totally was)

MrMonroe

crwth wrote:

my last (only) breakup was

hmm...back in 07

i was really sad for a long time and then i got less sad but then i got more sad because of different things on top of that

so now in this year of our lord jesus christ 2011 i have convinced myself that i'm just not a dude ladies want to be in a relationship with

it is a self-fulfilling prophecy

I'll tell you what I've been told by a number of people who I've tried to sleep with since my HARGLEBARGLE response to my last relationship have told me:

"You need to relax"

ceres

Charles Kinbote wrote:

misogyny and its

well, no, just misogyny

Thank you for this.

Really.

Grey Ghost

My breakups have mostly been sad, quiet affairs that don't really merit a read-through

Usagi

I don't have bad breakups

I just have a string of terrible relationships, the breakups were mostly tame

I think the only funny moment of my last, and most significant breakup, was the last time we went to the marriage counselor a.k.a. the Moment I Realized It Was Absolutely Over

In the middle of a relatively civil conversation about our differences, which was making the counselor very happy that we were communicating so well, the to-be ex had an anger explosion and proceeded to scream at me, red-faced and spittle flying, for several minutes. Stunned, mouth open, the counselor and I turned to each other and she said "Ok, I think we're done here".

I was moved out by the end of the week.

Nogs

Nogs

really Grey Ghost


not even

a

read-through?

Nogs

holy forum breakage batman!

Henroid

Gatsby wrote:

Skull Man wrote:

I broke up with my first girlfriend because she lived 45 minutes away

we both lived twenty minutes outside of town, just, in the opposite directions

blerg

This is literally me and my girlfriend right now. We fucking live on opposite sides of the Harbiur Bridge which connects our city together.

It's annoying as hell but what else can ya do

45 minutes? There are further distances to cross for relationships y'know. Successful ones.

Nogs

ceres

I have to say, I may have scoffed a little at 45 minutes.

Nogs

WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU FORUMS!

Skull Man

hey

hey henroid

Skull Man wrote:

on the other hand my next girlfriend lived 700 miles away for a good while, and we've been together for over six years

so

crwth

MrMonroe wrote:

I'll tell you what I've been told by a number of people who I've tried to sleep with since my HARGLEBARGLE response to my last relationship have told me:

"You need to relax"

i'm relaxed to the point that i'm apathetic

but really i don't want to even be in a relationship
i mean i DO because i wanna be with someone but i DON'T because there are a lot of things i'd like to deal with first before i attempt that

The Lovely Bastard

I've been in very few relationships. They are not really my thing and they end spectacularly.

In high school, I broke up with a girl after she lied to me about a pregnancy. Then a miscarriage. Then a magical miscarriage wherein she was having twins but only miscarried one of the babies. She was a compulsive liar, anyway, but it was kind of entertaining up to that point.

A few years later, in my only long distance relationship, I broke up with a lady after walking in on her cheating on me after I came out to surprise her on her birthday. I was really offended that not only was she totally cheating on me, but she was ignoring her kid and doing it with her parents just downstairs and pretty much daring someone to notice how horrible she was being.

Last girlfriend I had broke up with me to leave me for another dude a week before my mom died. Then, the dude broke up with her and now her mom is dying and I feel I have told this story way too much.

All in all, bitches be crazy

Well, if I date them that is.

Wrench N Rockets

Just broke up with a lady the other day after just over a month because she smoked way more pot than I was comfortable with. Not really a serious breakup but eh, all I got for now.

Beasteh

i dont think im very good at women

MrMonroe

An acquaintance of mine in high school ended up getting his girlfriend pregnant

only she was "on birth control" and she refused to tell him about it while she was pregnant so it was a "surprise" when she had a baby and then they felt they needed to get married

and there's no way this girl could get preggers and you wouldn't notice

basically she conned the guy into marriage with a baby with his willing help

so here's us, meeting his baby and smoking weed with him and everything is tremendously awkward and so we leave

the car ride afterward was super awkward and no one was talking, until I said, "raise your hand if you're glad you're not Tom"

and everyone raised their hands

Speed Racer

I've only had one girlfriend and therefore only one breakup

dated her for like a year and a half in high school

she was kind of clingy and obsessive because she had terrible self-esteem but I didn't mind because I also had terrible self-esteem and appreciated the attention

My parents didn't like how much time I spent with her and also just generally didn't like her

Like when we watched Arrested Development together a few years later they laughed extra hard at every Anne joke because "That's exactly how we felt about [this girl]!"

So eventually they limited me to seeing her once a month (we went to different high schools)

which obviously didn't make either of us happy and led to lots of arguing and probably would have culminated in us breaking up anyway

but when my mom overheard a particularly bad phone argument that upset me a lot so she banned me from talking to her at all anymore so I sent her an email explaining the situation and broke up with her

Big picture, my parents probably did me a favor, because she really did have some problems. I've tried to hang out with her as friends in the years since then and that turned out to pretty much be impossible because every interaction was an incredibly obvious attempt to get back together with me and when they fell through she got super nasty about it. Last I heard she got married at 20.

But I am not at all happy with the way my parents went about what they did, even if the case could be made that it was for the better. It was years ago now so I don't care that much anymore but every now and then she comes up and they say something really cruel about her and how thank God she's not around anymore and it touches a nerve

Matey

I broke up with my hand last week

Now we're just fuck buddies

Henroid

Skull Man wrote:

hey

hey henroid

Hey Skull Man.

MrMonroe

Speed Racer wrote:

I've only had one girlfriend and therefore only one breakup

dated her for like a year and a half in high school

she was kind of clingy and obsessive because she had terrible self-esteem but I didn't mind because I also had terrible self-esteem and appreciated the attention

My parents didn't like how much time I spent with her and also just generally didn't like her

Like when we watched Arrested Development together a few years later they laughed extra hard at every Anne joke because "That's exactly how we felt about [this girl]!"

So eventually they limited me to seeing her once a month (we went to different high schools)

which obviously didn't make either of us happy and led to lots of arguing and probably would have culminated in us breaking up anyway

but when my mom overheard a particularly bad phone argument that upset me a lot so she banned me from talking to her at all anymore so I sent her an email explaining the situation and broke up with her

Big picture, my parents probably did me a favor, because she really did have some problems. I've tried to hang out with her as friends in the years since then and that turned out to pretty much be impossible because every interaction was an incredibly obvious attempt to get back together with me and when they fell through she got super nasty about it. Last I heard she got married at 20.

But I am not at all happy with the way my parents went about what they did, even if the case could be made that it was for the better. It was years ago now so I don't care that much anymore but every now and then she comes up and they say something really cruel about her and how thank God she's not around anymore and it touches a nerve

....

her?

(not kidding your parents did you a favor that will be impossible for you to recognize)

dbrock270

I don't have girlfriends.

I have breeding partnerships.

Henroid

Henroid wrote:

I've got a few stories to tell. Here's all of them at cursory glance.

- I've broken up with a girl, my very first technically-girlfriend, via hand-written letter, in highschool.
- I've been broken up with by my first actual-girlfriend by means of last-minute changes to the senior ball.
- I've broken up with a girl when posed with a choice to move across the country with her, only to find myself doing so anyway by force.
- I've been broken up with the day after Christmas in a long-distance relationship, after turning away two very interested girls over the course of the relationship.

They all have lessons to impart. Except the last, it's still got ongoing baggage. I'll elaborate on any in much greater detail if there's interest. After I've had some sleep.

First story go. Late tenth grade is the start point.

I had a very good collection of friends in highschool. There were several clusters of friends of mine that I somehow managed to make gravitate to the same spot for lunch / break times between classes. One of these groups of friends was more or less the giggle-squad, a bunch of girls who were alright but very idealistic on relationships. Not to mention, pushy.

The girlfriend in question is Jennifer. I'd known her since I first moved to that town in 7th grade, but we never hung out or anything. She was (and still is) very pretty, in that girl-nextdoor way. But that was all I could find in her, so I never made a move on it. I forget how it came up but I'll go with this; one of the giggle squad was asking who I thought was cute or whatever and Jennifer came up. I thought it was a harmless line of questioning on their part. That's when they tell me about the crush she has on me. It was more or less the same level of what I thought of her; just thought I was cute. That's pretty much when the nagging starts to get me to ask Jennifer out. I cave one day and do it.

Here is what "going out" consisted of with Jennifer; holding hands, walking her to her classes and meeting up with her whenever possible at school, and generally sitting together cuddling. We had no shared interests (she was a book worm, I loved video games). We never kissed, we never did anything together whatsoever. I went to her house twice only. The second time, we were in her room and... did homework. Which I never fucking did in highschool so that was awkward. It was all made worse by school going out into summer. We never saw each other over summer, mostly in part to her and her family going on some long-ass trip together. Also I had a part-time job.

At the start of 11th grade, things resume as usual. Only, I realize how uneventful, fun, or fulfilling this whole thing is. This is where I make two super dumb decisions. First, I write a break-up letter. Second, when going to my off-campus class for the morning I run into a friend, Brandon, who is dating one of the giggle squad, and have him deliver the letter.

- Never write breakup letters, they are dumb, even email ones
- Never use a proxy, oh god that was so shitty of me
- Never let your friends fucking talk you into who you should be dating

Incidentally, I'd "stolen" Jennifer away from her usual group of friends at lunch. After the breakup, she hid away for a bit but they managed to find her in the home-ec class which is where they all had lunch together 'til graduation. Oh, and my next girlfriend was part of that clique.

Skull Man

speed it seems like maybe your parents took kind of an uncomfortably firm hand in your relationship

MrMonroe

Speed Racer wrote:

I've only had one girlfriend and therefore only one breakup

dated her for like a year and a half in high school

she was kind of clingy and obsessive because she had terrible self-esteem but I didn't mind because I also had terrible self-esteem and appreciated the attention

My parents didn't like how much time I spent with her and also just generally didn't like her

Like when we watched Arrested Development together a few years later they laughed extra hard at every Anne joke because "That's exactly how we felt about [this girl]!"

So eventually they limited me to seeing her once a month (we went to different high schools)

which obviously didn't make either of us happy and led to lots of arguing and probably would have culminated in us breaking up anyway

but when my mom overheard a particularly bad phone argument that upset me a lot so she banned me from talking to her at all anymore so I sent her an email explaining the situation and broke up with her

Big picture, my parents probably did me a favor, because she really did have some problems. I've tried to hang out with her as friends in the years since then and that turned out to pretty much be impossible because every interaction was an incredibly obvious attempt to get back together with me and when they fell through she got super nasty about it. Last I heard she got married at 20.

But I am not at all happy with the way my parents went about what they did, even if the case could be made that it was for the better. It was years ago now so I don't care that much anymore but every now and then she comes up and they say something really cruel about her and how thank God she's not around anymore and it touches a nerve

....

her?

(not kidding your parents did you a favor that will be impossible for you to recognize)

Speed Racer

MrMonroe wrote:

Speed Racer wrote:

I've only had one girlfriend and therefore only one breakup

dated her for like a year and a half in high school

she was kind of clingy and obsessive because she had terrible self-esteem but I didn't mind because I also had terrible self-esteem and appreciated the attention

My parents didn't like how much time I spent with her and also just generally didn't like her

Like when we watched Arrested Development together a few years later they laughed extra hard at every Anne joke because "That's exactly how we felt about [this girl]!"

So eventually they limited me to seeing her once a month (we went to different high schools)

which obviously didn't make either of us happy and led to lots of arguing and probably would have culminated in us breaking up anyway

but when my mom overheard a particularly bad phone argument that upset me a lot so she banned me from talking to her at all anymore so I sent her an email explaining the situation and broke up with her

Big picture, my parents probably did me a favor, because she really did have some problems. I've tried to hang out with her as friends in the years since then and that turned out to pretty much be impossible because every interaction was an incredibly obvious attempt to get back together with me and when they fell through she got super nasty about it. Last I heard she got married at 20.

But I am not at all happy with the way my parents went about what they did, even if the case could be made that it was for the better. It was years ago now so I don't care that much anymore but every now and then she comes up and they say something really cruel about her and how thank God she's not around anymore and it touches a nerve

....

her?

(not kidding your parents did you a favor that will be impossible for you to recognize)

yeah I'm not saying that they didn't. I do legitimately think it was for the best

I was just sore about their methods

Sheri

I had someone break with me for someone else, and then marry her

Which I suppose is for the best. If you're gonna dump me, it'd better be for The One.