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[Internet Dating] "Who is your favorite duck?" and other dating questions

12467112

Posts

  • Skoal CatSkoal Cat Registered User
    Well, you're currently going on the website, aren't you? Some people also like keeping their stuff recent/well written. Whatevs.

    ceres wrote: »
    Skoal Cat is correct.
  • mrt144mrt144 King of the Numbernames Registered User regular
    SpongeCake wrote:
    I haven't seen her since I realised, and I'm don't want to broach the issue via text. My main concern is that this is a pre-dumping scenario.

    At the very least, stick it in her pooper and play forever young while doing so.

  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    Bleh... back to looking, again. Girl went cold after a couple weeks.

    The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
  • UltimanecatUltimanecat Registered User regular
    So the girl I just went out with lied about her age to sound older than she is - she said 24 when in fact she is 21. I'm not even sure why she would do that? She also is a lot bigger than her pictures led on. Otherwise a nice girl but she was pretty awkwardly shy and it started feeling like I was interviewing her since she wasn't really volunteering info or asking me anything. And now after that first date she just texted me asking to meet her family.

    I need to get better at this...

    SteamID : same as my PA forum name
  • WarcryWarcry Registered User regular
    So the girl I just went out with lied about her age to sound older than she is - she said 24 when in fact she is 21. I'm not even sure why she would do that? She also is a lot bigger than her pictures led on. Otherwise a nice girl but she was pretty awkwardly shy and it started feeling like I was interviewing her since she wasn't really volunteering info or asking me anything. And now after that first date she just texted me asking to meet her family.

    I need to get better at this...

    bail out now

    Warcry616.png
  • UltimanecatUltimanecat Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Haha, yeah. Now comes the hemming and hawing and contemplating whether it's possible or even desirable to let her down easy.

    Ultimanecat on
    SteamID : same as my PA forum name
  • UnderdogUnderdog Registered User regular
    I figure a quick "Sorry, I'm not interested." would work or does it have to be more involved than that?

  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    SpongeCake wrote:
    I haven't seen her since I realised, and I'm don't want to broach the issue via text. My main concern is that this is a pre-dumping scenario.

    Define "I'm seeing". Maybe what you view "seeing" is different than what she views seeing.

    Exclusivity should never be assumed.

  • thatassemblyguythatassemblyguy Registered User regular
    So quick question that has probably been discussed ad nauseam, but I've missed it when it was; Posting photos of you with family (y/n)?

  • CarthageCarthage Registered User regular
    Depends on the picture. Post it here?

    I've had my account reactivated for about a week. The few messages I've sent out have been ignored, but I seem to get a message every day or two - including one yesterday from a very attractive stage actress.

    Yeah, I think I like big city online dating :)

  • Skoal CatSkoal Cat Registered User
    This is probably the most sexually compatible relationship I've ever been in. Geebus.
    I really hope the other parts of it pan out, too.

    ceres wrote: »
    Skoal Cat is correct.
  • TheBigEasyTheBigEasy Registered User regular
    If you don't mind me asking Skoal ... how does this work exactly? Do you guys have a schedule when you see her and when the other guys sees her? Or do you play it by ear? I assume it is not a 3-some relationship, you are only dating her, not him too, right?

  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Skoal Cat wrote:
    This is probably the most sexually compatible relationship I've ever been in. Geebus.
    I really hope the other parts of it pan out, too.

    I didn't even get any out of my short relationship. >_< Ah well... it's not about the sex, really. But would it would been fun at least.
    Carthage wrote:
    Depends on the picture. Post it here?

    I've had my account reactivated for about a week. The few messages I've sent out have been ignored, but I seem to get a message every day or two - including one yesterday from a very attractive stage actress.

    Yeah, I think I like big city online dating :)

    I need to temporarily move closer to a big city. An hour drive either way makes it difficult with me working third shift. *sighs*

    SkyCaptain on
    The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    forty wrote:
    dnaeric wrote:
    forty wrote:
    I fired off the duck question last night. Let's see if I get a response in the next week or so.

    At this point, not only do I want to know if it is succesful, I want to know what duck she says.
    Oh, I'll give you the full details (if there are any), but I'm not optimistic since my response rate is pretty low.
    She visited my profile a few days ago but never responded.

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    JAEF wrote:
    Pretty much that. My only real hobby is probably Starcraft 2 (which I don't mention at all) and I'm not particularly talented or good at anything. I just try to sound passionate about the things I do do that I find fulfilling and satisfying, and highlight a few other minor to moderate interests to flesh it out. I've gotten plenty of messages and replies.
    If your only real hobby is SC2 and you never mention it, what are these things you do do?

    forty on
    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • Skoal CatSkoal Cat Registered User
    edited October 2011
    TheBigEasy wrote:
    If you don't mind me asking Skoal ... how does this work exactly? Do you guys have a schedule when you see her and when the other guys sees her? Or do you play it by ear? I assume it is not a 3-some relationship, you are only dating her, not him too, right?
    I always try to plan the next thing before she leaves, but we more or less play it by ear. Especially now when I've got my kid and my life schedule is pretty static, it becomes more or less, "hey, when can I see you again?" with her saying "I'm busy X, and Y, but I can come over on Z." When I don't have my kid, I'll be in a better position to make plans where I can leave the house at night. In short, I try to see her as much as I want to/can and so far I'm getting what I want/need. I want to see her at least a couple times a week. I'm pretty needy. :)
    And yes, I am dating her and not them, though I do suspect we''ll all hang out at some point. After all, we have an automatic group for Settlers of Catan now!

    Skoal Cat on
    ceres wrote: »
    Skoal Cat is correct.
  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    forty wrote:
    JAEF wrote:
    Pretty much that. My only real hobby is probably Starcraft 2 (which I don't mention at all) and I'm not particularly talented or good at anything. I just try to sound passionate about the things I do do that I find fulfilling and satisfying, and highlight a few other minor to moderate interests to flesh it out. I've gotten plenty of messages and replies.
    If your only real hobby is SC2 and you never mention it, what are these things you do do?
    Ah.. rock climbing, hiking, gym, reading, ice skating.

    I may only do rock climb, ice skate or hike once a month or so, but I'd do them more often with other people, so I bring them up enthusiastically.
    Skoal Cat wrote:
    This is probably the most sexually compatible relationship I've ever been in. Geebus.
    I really hope the other parts of it pan out, too.
    Oh man I know that feeling. Best of luck to you.

    Battle.net ID: Jaef#1126 -- Steam: Jaef -- PSN: Jaef -- League of Legends: Jaef
  • dnaericdnaeric Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Skoal Cat wrote:
    After all, we have an automatic group for Settlers of Catan now!

    Nerd.

    /jealous

    dnaeric on
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    JAEF wrote:
    forty wrote:
    JAEF wrote:
    Pretty much that. My only real hobby is probably Starcraft 2 (which I don't mention at all) and I'm not particularly talented or good at anything. I just try to sound passionate about the things I do do that I find fulfilling and satisfying, and highlight a few other minor to moderate interests to flesh it out. I've gotten plenty of messages and replies.
    If your only real hobby is SC2 and you never mention it, what are these things you do do?
    Ah.. rock climbing, hiking, gym, reading, ice skating.

    I may only do rock climb, ice skate or hike once a month or so, but I'd do them more often with other people, so I bring them up enthusiastically.
    Ah, I guess the word "hobby" evokes a less strict meaning to me than you. Doing something once a month or so qualifies in my book, especially for the sorts of activites like those that actually require some effort/traveling to get going, unlike, say, breaking out the crocheting needles and yarn at home or firing up a Day9 daily.

    You seem to be a more marketable person than Kagera(?) and I are.

    forty on
    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • Skoal CatSkoal Cat Registered User
    Maybe, but he certainly knows what to talk about. Alternatively, take up an interest in things that make you seem more interesting?

    ceres wrote: »
    Skoal Cat is correct.
  • SpongeCakeSpongeCake Registered User regular
    Lilnoobs wrote:
    SpongeCake wrote:
    I haven't seen her since I realised, and I'm don't want to broach the issue via text. My main concern is that this is a pre-dumping scenario.

    Define "I'm seeing". Maybe what you view "seeing" is different than what she views seeing.

    Exclusivity should never be assumed.


    She's not the type of girl who would be dating two guys at once (I have nothing against people who do, just saying she doesn't) which means the only reason she'd be looking for other dates is if she's done with me.

    Which, as it turns out, she is. A bunch of fantastic dates, then out of nowhere she doesn't want to see me ever again. Fucking devastated quite frankly...

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Skoal Cat wrote:
    Maybe, but he certainly knows what to talk about. Alternatively, take up an interest in things that make you seem more interesting?
    Yeah, I've seen the "fake it till you make it" advice in these threads before.

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • DortmunderDortmunder Registered User regular
    So I started exchanging messages with this girl about a month ago, and things are going well. She's 28, I'm 31. She lives nearby-ish, lots of common interests, fun & interesting personality. She works 6 or 7 days every week, so we make plans to hang out on this past weekend when she's on vacation. In the mean time we are emailing/texting each other almost every day and it seems to be going well.

    Until suddenly, starting 1 week before our "date", she drops all contact. Doesn't respond to any texts or emails. I only try texting her twice and emailing once during the week to not overdo it, but nothing.

    Then, on Saturday, the day we were supposed to finally meet, I see her update her status to "seeing someone".

    Blech. That's fine. It happens. But would it have killed her to just drop me a quick "Sorry, I'm with someone now" instead of leaving me hanging for a week wondering what the hell happened??

    Anyways. I feel it's time for some outside opinions. I know that having a kid already limits my options but I'm not concerned about that.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/KindlyAutomata

    steam_sig.png
  • Skoal CatSkoal Cat Registered User
    forty wrote:
    Skoal Cat wrote:
    Maybe, but he certainly knows what to talk about. Alternatively, take up an interest in things that make you seem more interesting?
    Yeah, I've seen the "fake it till you make it" advice in these threads before.

    "Fake" is the wrong word, but he sentiment is accurate. Profiles are not the place to be 100% honest, but you do want to be truthful. If you aren't into rock climbing, don't list it...unless you list it as something you would like to do, see what I did there?

    ceres wrote: »
    Skoal Cat is correct.
  • ZekZek Registered User regular
    What is the deal with women these days! Had my best coffee date yet on Saturday, asked her out the next day and just got a response basically gushing over how great it was(seems legit) but that she realized she's not ready for a romantic relationship right now. She said very plainly that she's still up for doing something though. Internet dating thread, how can I turn this around? She was really cool and I'd like her as a friend but I would so date the heck out of her given the chance, and I won't lower myself to the "nice guy" manipulative crap. Is there a good way to say "let's be friends for now but I'd really like gradually start dating!" without coming across as disrespectful or weird?

  • UltimanecatUltimanecat Registered User regular
    I'm pretty sure you could just tell her that in as many words. The "I'm not ready for a romantic relationship right now", while always feasible, is also a pretty common brush-off unfortunately.

    In the situation, I would basically tell her that I was interested in her romantically and would likely continue to be if we kept spending time together, but could keep it friendly in the meantime. That way, she knows that continuing to hang out with you when she has no intention to ever see you that way is effectively leading you on massively. Not saying that's a guarantee that she won't, but at least you have your cards out on the table.

    SteamID : same as my PA forum name
  • AiouaAioua Novus Ordo Seclorum Lord of the ForumRegistered User regular
    edited October 2011
    [edit] super late, and Ultimanecat said it better [/edit]

    Aioua on
    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we got booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • lizardlooplizardloop Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Zek wrote:
    What is the deal with women these days! Had my best coffee date yet on Saturday, asked her out the next day and just got a response basically gushing over how great it was(seems legit) but that she realized she's not ready for a romantic relationship right now. She said very plainly that she's still up for doing something though. Internet dating thread, how can I turn this around? She was really cool and I'd like her as a friend but I would so date the heck out of her given the chance, and I won't lower myself to the "nice guy" manipulative crap. Is there a good way to say "let's be friends for now but I'd really like gradually start dating!" without coming across as disrespectful or weird?

    I tried to doing the whole staying friends with someone I dated and it back fired hideously on me later when I got a girlfriend.
    Girlfriend:Who's K?
    Me (being honest):Oh a girl I dated a while back, didn't work out but we stayed as friends since we got on
    Girlfriend: RARRRR!!! You don't love me, you still love her, you're just using me RARRRR!!!! Dumped!
    Me: :(

    It hurt like a hell since it wasn't true at all and I really did love my girlfriend. It happened over a year a go and I still wonder to this day what might have been had I not stayed friends with K. Irony is I don't even speak to K anymore.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't be friends with her, just that some people find having the "old flame" around a little unsettling.


    On an unrelated note two separate women from okcupid have invited me to the local bondage meeting. One of them likes my hair, the other my lips. I think I'm starting to get an inkling of what animals feel like when the butchers eye them up at markets.

    lizardloop on
  • Skoal CatSkoal Cat Registered User
    Truth be told, a response like that is a major issue for me

    ceres wrote: »
    Skoal Cat is correct.
  • AiouaAioua Novus Ordo Seclorum Lord of the ForumRegistered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Wait you people actually get messages from women out of the blue? I've had to do all the legwork, I've never gotten one unsolicited. :(

    Aioua on
    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we got booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • ZekZek Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Seriously though read this message(slightly altered in case of googling):
    Hi! It was really great talking to you, too. I hope you were able to get out of [REDACTED] ok! :)

    I would love to graab anther coffee or go out and do something with you again, but I need to tell you that after I got home on Saaturday, I realized that I'm not ready to be in a romantic relationship right now. I completely understaand if you're not interested in being friends; I wanted to be honest with you and also tell you that I really enjoyed spending time with you.

    If you're still interested in getting together and doing something, let me know. If not, best of luck with everything. And thaanks again for coming down to [REDACTED] and walking around on a sunny Saturday aafternoon. It was really, really lovely.

    What the heck!

    Zek on
  • AiouaAioua Novus Ordo Seclorum Lord of the ForumRegistered User regular
    Zek wrote:
    Seriously though read this message(slightly altered in case of googling):
    Hi! It was really great talking to you, too. I hope you were able to get out of [REDACTED] ok! :)

    I would love to graab anther coffee or go out and do something with you again, but I need to tell you that after I got home on Saaturday, I realized that I'm not ready to be in a romantic relationship right now. I completely understaand if you're not interested in being friends; I wanted to be honest with you and also tell you that I really enjoyed spending time with you.

    If you're still interested in getting together and doing something, let me know. If not, best of luck with everything. And thaanks again for coming down to [REDACTED] and walking around on a sunny Saturday aafternoon. It was really, really lovely.

    What the heck!

    She definately wants to be just friends with you. Sorry dude. :(
    On the plus side, awesome friend? Assuming you can crush the romantic hopes.

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we got booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • CarthageCarthage Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Dortmunder wrote:
    Blech. That's fine. It happens. But would it have killed her to just drop me a quick "Sorry, I'm with someone now" instead of leaving me hanging for a week wondering what the hell happened??

    Anyways. I feel it's time for some outside opinions. I know that having a kid already limits my options but I'm not concerned about that.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/KindlyAutomata

    Pictures: I might swap the second one for the first one, I think it's better picture of you. However your fourth picture looks kind of like you're recovering from malaria, and I might just kill that one entirely. You can also try the My Best Face thing on Okcupid, which is pretty useful once you've run pictures through it a time or three. You could also think about adding a picture of you with your kid as the fourth/fifth picture - I suspect most parents have a good number of those.

    Summary seems to contradict itself: go for a run/bike ride, but don't exercise much? I might move 'browsing reddit' to lower in the profile as well, it's just going to confuse a lot of people and I don't think it's important enough to mention that early.

    The rest is mostly good (I like the bullwhip detail), but I'm not sure about Fall in Love - it's coming on really strong early, and doesn't mesh well with the description after it. Maybe Appreciate Life or Love Every Day?

    Life/Good at: This is good, mentioning your job but making sure people know you're more than you're job! You're repeating yourself with 'writing up a storm' though, maybe replace it? And your self-summary isn't that long, so I'm not sure you can fairly use it as an example of writing up a storm.

    Favorites: Again, good. Not too many things listed but you give a few interesting details about what you do mention. I might remove 'Apparently I am 85 years old' because screw people who think saying hoot makes you sound old! If you enjoy it, own it.

    Six things: Fine, although the exclamation point on your last point slightly triggers my OCD impulse, as it doesn't conform to the others.

    Friday night: No no no. Nothing here says 'I'm a fun guy and you'd have a great time on a date with me'. You don't need to be rock climbing or clubbing or anything like that, but either add a few things that might be fun for people to do together or remove it entirely. My friday nights tend to look pretty boring when written down, so I left this section entirely blank.

    Looking for: Fine, unless you put down 'casual sex' a a guy it's hard to mess this section up...

    Message me if: I like both the lines you have, but they don't work particularly well together. If I had to choose, I'd keep the partners in crime line.

    It's not a bad profile. Because of some of the things you write (eager to please, etc), some women are assume you're just a nice guy and a pushover. But I'm betting you're not interested in those women anyway.

    Carthage on
  • lizardlooplizardloop Registered User regular
    Aioua wrote:
    Wait you people actually get messages from women out of the blue? I've had to do all the legwork, I've never gotten one unsolicited. :(

    I don't generally. They gave me 4 or 5 star ratings which prompted okcupid to send me one of those "XXX chose you messages" (every time I read that I can see myself flying from a poke ball while Ash yells "lizardloop I choose you!"). I always send a message to women who do that. Most never reply but the last two did.

    This might help someone else out so I'll mention it here. I mentioned at the bottom of my first message to one of the girls some of their "you should message if" criteria ("oh I sent you a message because of x, y and z") and she said something along the lines "wow, you're the first guy to mention those, it's nice to know at least one man is taking the time to read all my profile before clicking send". That then lead in to a nice conversation about how most of the men on okcupid can't read or write and shouldn't be allowed near a computer and how pleasant it was that I didn't fit in to that criteria.

    I don't think the technique will be as good as the duck question but it is another string in the bow.

  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Aioua wrote:
    Wait you people actually get messages from women out of the blue? I've had to do all the legwork, I've never gotten one unsolicited. :(
    It helps if you edit your profile fairly often or answer new questions. It pops you up in women's news feeds more frequently. I've had.. 5 or so unsolicited messages in the month or so my profile's been up? One I was completely uninterested and didn't respond, one just wanted to chat, one of them fizzled out after some extensive chatting, one ended up in a date->friendship situation (wasn't into her but she's a cool person), the last seems to be moving into date territory soon, probably another friendship.

    Messages to people about something specific in their profile usually get me some interesting conversational exchanges at the least. One person had a "Message me if you dislike Kurt Vonnegut" which I absolutely had to ask about. I make sure the message is long enough to show that I'm actually interested in them, literate and cordial. A lot of conversations tend to peter out because I'm not aggressively pursuing a relationship right now so if they don't show too much interest in continuing a conversation I'll just back off. I'll also message people when they give me those ratings as well. Gotten a few of those.

    Pretty happy with the results so far to be honest.

    Also I'm rather attractive and white, which helps a lot. If I had a degree and a job I'd be in the money. But that's not in the cards for a bit.

    JAEF on
    Battle.net ID: Jaef#1126 -- Steam: Jaef -- PSN: Jaef -- League of Legends: Jaef
  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    Aioua wrote:
    Wait you people actually get messages from women out of the blue? I've had to do all the legwork, I've never gotten one unsolicited. :(
    Only messages I get unsolicited from women seem to come from the handicapped or the morbidly obese. I have had two different woman with cerebral palsy contact me. Just not something I want to deal with, but I felt so scummy saying I wasn't interested.

    The RPG Bestiary - Dangerous foes and legendary monsters for D&D 4th Edition
  • TheBigEasyTheBigEasy Registered User regular
    Skoal Cat wrote:
    TheBigEasy wrote:
    If you don't mind me asking Skoal ... how does this work exactly? Do you guys have a schedule when you see her and when the other guys sees her? Or do you play it by ear? I assume it is not a 3-some relationship, you are only dating her, not him too, right?
    I always try to plan the next thing before she leaves, but we more or less play it by ear. Especially now when I've got my kid and my life schedule is pretty static, it becomes more or less, "hey, when can I see you again?" with her saying "I'm busy X, and Y, but I can come over on Z." When I don't have my kid, I'll be in a better position to make plans where I can leave the house at night. In short, I try to see her as much as I want to/can and so far I'm getting what I want/need. I want to see her at least a couple times a week. I'm pretty needy. :)
    And yes, I am dating her and not them, though I do suspect we''ll all hang out at some point. After all, we have an automatic group for Settlers of Catan now!

    Thanks for the answer. So basically it is like a "normal" relationship, only here "I am busy on X and Y" means/can mean "I am gonna see the other guy" ... Well, good luck in that endeavor. I hope everything works out the way you want it/need it ...

    I have a hard time convincing one girl to date me ... if polyamorous was the norm, I'd probably have given up completely by now :).

  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    Zek wrote:
    Seriously though read this message(slightly altered in case of googling):
    Hi! It was really great talking to you, too. I hope you were able to get out of [REDACTED] ok! :)

    I would love to graab anther coffee or go out and do something with you again, but I need to tell you that after I got home on Saaturday, I realized that I'm not ready to be in a romantic relationship right now. I completely understaand if you're not interested in being friends; I wanted to be honest with you and also tell you that I really enjoyed spending time with you.

    If you're still interested in getting together and doing something, let me know. If not, best of luck with everything. And thaanks again for coming down to [REDACTED] and walking around on a sunny Saturday aafternoon. It was really, really lovely.

    What the heck!
    Yeah, since she's trying to be honest with you, just be honest with her. Just lay it out there and say "well here's what I want, could that happen down the road or no?" and be ready to accept whatever answer you get. She seems pretty willing to talk about it, so why don't you just ask her? Presumably she knows better than us.

  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    lizardloop wrote:
    I tried to doing the whole staying friends with someone I dated and it back fired hideously on me later when I got a girlfriend.
    Girlfriend:Who's K?
    Me (being honest):Oh a girl I dated a while back, didn't work out but we stayed as friends since we got on
    Girlfriend: RARRRR!!! You don't love me, you still love her, you're just using me RARRRR!!!! Dumped!
    Me: :(

    It hurt like a hell since it wasn't true at all and I really did love my girlfriend. It happened over a year a go and I still wonder to this day what might have been had I not stayed friends with K. Irony is I don't even speak to K anymore.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't be friends with her, just that some people find having the "old flame" around a little unsettling.
    You dodged a bullet. Stop wondering. It's not weird to be 'unsettled' by (or have some mild curiosities about) your new SO being friendly with an ex, but a mature adult doesn't Hulk out over it.

  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    Zek wrote:
    Seriously though read this message(slightly altered in case of googling):
    Hi! It was really great talking to you, too. I hope you were able to get out of [REDACTED] ok! :)

    I would love to graab anther coffee or go out and do something with you again, but I need to tell you that after I got home on Saaturday, I realized that I'm not ready to be in a romantic relationship right now. I completely understaand if you're not interested in being friends; I wanted to be honest with you and also tell you that I really enjoyed spending time with you.

    If you're still interested in getting together and doing something, let me know. If not, best of luck with everything. And thaanks again for coming down to [REDACTED] and walking around on a sunny Saturday aafternoon. It was really, really lovely.

    What the heck!

    It means "I like you but I don't want to kiss or have sex with you."

    She was nice enough to let you know that she doesn't want to be physically involved with you, though, so if it were me I would at least respond in some way. You can either see about getting together just as friends and hanging out, which may be really awkward or it might be cool, or just respond with "Thanks for letting me know, but I am ready for a romantic relationship and it's primarily what I'm looking for."

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
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