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[Internet Dating] "Who is your favorite duck?" and other dating questions

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Posts

  • DarkMechaDarkMecha The Outer SpaceRegistered User regular
    edited March 2012
    EggyToast wrote: »
    DarkMecha wrote: »
    -snip-

    EggyToast said wise things here.

    Thanks man, this is sound advice and I'll try to put it to good use.

    Usually when I meet people with alot of specialized knowledge, I do alittle of both. I ask questions and make conversation, but I also often endup looking some stuff up on the subject later, out of personal curiosity. Is that a bad habit? It's not to impress anyone or anything like that.

    Anyways I've basically just asked things like "Hey so you are a Psychology major, that's cool! What got you interested in it enough to make it a career choice?" or "I see you like ethnic food, but I don't know alot about it. What are some of your favorite ethnic food places around here?", stuff like that. Hasn't been working thus far but you know as well as I do that online dating is kind of a crap shoot so, I guess I just keep trying?

    DarkMecha on
    Steam Profile | Check out my space ships! | 3DS FC: 3754-6679-5676
  • BuddiesBuddies Registered User regular
    DarkMecha wrote: »
    EggyToast wrote: »
    DarkMecha wrote: »
    -snip-

    EggyToast said wise things here.

    Thanks man, this is sound advice and I'll try to put it to good use.

    Usually when I meet people with alot of specialized knowledge, I do alittle of both. I ask questions and make conversation, but I also often endup looking some stuff up on the subject later, out of personal curiosity. Is that a bad habit? It's not to impress anyone or anything like that.

    Anyways I've basically just asked things like "Hey so you are a Psychology major, that's cool! What got you interested in it enough to make it a career choice?" or "I see you like ethnic food, but I don't know alot about it. What are some of your favorite ethnic food places around here?", stuff like that. Hasn't been working thus far but you know as well as I do that online dating is kind of a crap shoot so, I guess I just keep trying?

    Those feel like very general and boring things to say/ask. Like, I get the feeling that you are bored just saying them and you are only doing it to try and open up a conversation and aren't really interested in the reply beyond it just being a reply. Why talk about something you don't give a shit about? What about Psychology is cool to you? Put that in the message instead of a generic "Psychology is cool!"

    You don't know a lot about ethnic food, but you do know of an ethnic restaurant that's on your way to work/class?
    Instead of fishing to see where she likes to eat, or to see if she maybe has eaten there by asking where her favorite places are, simply just say "Have you ever been to Rajput off Colley?"

    I have much better success with messages like that than general "Why'd you pick your major" type questions. People get asked that shit all the time, and not many people actually like answering those questions. I like questions that a simple yes/no could answer it, and if not that then a very short sentence would suffice. If your profile interests them and they find you attractive then their reply will certainly be longer than a sentence.

  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Buddies wrote: »
    DarkMecha wrote: »
    EggyToast wrote: »
    DarkMecha wrote: »
    -snip-

    EggyToast said wise things here.

    Thanks man, this is sound advice and I'll try to put it to good use.

    Usually when I meet people with alot of specialized knowledge, I do alittle of both. I ask questions and make conversation, but I also often endup looking some stuff up on the subject later, out of personal curiosity. Is that a bad habit? It's not to impress anyone or anything like that.

    Anyways I've basically just asked things like "Hey so you are a Psychology major, that's cool! What got you interested in it enough to make it a career choice?" or "I see you like ethnic food, but I don't know alot about it. What are some of your favorite ethnic food places around here?", stuff like that. Hasn't been working thus far but you know as well as I do that online dating is kind of a crap shoot so, I guess I just keep trying?

    Those feel like very general and boring things to say/ask. Like, I get the feeling that you are bored just saying them and you are only doing it to try and open up a conversation and aren't really interested in the reply beyond it just being a reply. Why talk about something you don't give a shit about? What about Psychology is cool to you? Put that in the message instead of a generic "Psychology is cool!"

    You don't know a lot about ethnic food, but you do know of an ethnic restaurant that's on your way to work/class?
    Instead of fishing to see where she likes to eat, or to see if she maybe has eaten there by asking where her favorite places are, simply just say "Have you ever been to Rajput off Colley?"

    I have much better success with messages like that than general "Why'd you pick your major" type questions. People get asked that shit all the time, and not many people actually like answering those questions. I like questions that a simple yes/no could answer it, and if not that then a very short sentence would suffice. If your profile interests them and they find you attractive then their reply will certainly be longer than a sentence.

    This so hard.

    Sending the first message isn't about starting a damn conversation, it's about getting noticed.

  • DarkMechaDarkMecha The Outer SpaceRegistered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Ahh I see. You have a point, I don't feel particularly excited talking about why I got into art ect myself, so why should someone else be excited to explain their major and all that. I guess my issue is that, atleast currently, I have no idea why -insert topic here- might be interesting to me, and I'm not actually interested at this time. I might be, and I'm open to that but right now I'm not, so it's hard to be more specific in a message.

    Either way I think perhaps my conversation-foo is weak and I should try to improve that. Hrm. On the flip side, I've pretty much already sent messages to all the girls in my area that are interesting to me. I'm in Greensboro, NC and the list starts repeating pretty quickly. I might also be having this issue because frankly, I just don't see many profiles that make me feel compelled to send a message right now. But that comes back to what I initially posted in that perhaps I'm being too picky? Argh, this is frustrating. :/

    DarkMecha on
    Steam Profile | Check out my space ships! | 3DS FC: 3754-6679-5676
  • AiouaAioua Novus Ordo Seclorum Lord of the ForumRegistered User regular
    Kind of nervous about my date saturday. We've been IMing all week and she's super cool, but that last time I met with a girl this promising after the date she was all "meh". I guess there isn't really anything I can do about that, though. The heart wants what it wants.

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we got booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • Space PickleSpace Pickle Registered User regular
    Thanks, I'm batting .000 here.

  • EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Spending too much money eating out. That's about it. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    Went on a great date last night. We went here...

    http://www.producerowcafe.com/

    then...

    http://www.olympicprovisions.com/

    ...then went and saw The Artist and afterwards grabbed another drink while talking about the movie.

    Got a goodnight kiss and we're going to get together on Saturday after I'm done working. Success.

    "At first he thought it might be a natural occurrence - maybe a rabbit. But upon closer inspection, it was clear a knife had been used. And rabbits don't carry knives."

    Final Fantasy XIV:Lilja Sunblade
  • GlyphGryphGlyphGryph Registered User regular
  • Cultural Geek GirlCultural Geek Girl Registered User regular
    DarkMecha wrote: »
    After reading many profiles, I have realized that I have so much in common with so many women, it's completely amazing to me.

    Apparently my love of music, food, water, and air is quite common!

    Sarcasm aside, perhaps I'm being abit too picky in deciding who to message. It's just that I often see a picture of a girl and go "hey she's cute, lets read on...", usually I find their profile cool and they sound interesting too. However, I often don't see anything I directly relate to or know enough about to write a message. It's like this one girl is a cute English lit major - sweet, she's probably smart! However I'm an art guy and know jack all about literature, so I feel like anything I write would be the equivalent of saying "So books, they are the cool!". :|

    The flip side of it is that I while I'm not currently really into alot of the things I read about in profiles, I'm very open to new experiences and finding new things that I might become interested in. Maybe if I hung out with an English lit major I might get really into some specific aspect of literature more, who knows? I could use more diverse interests anyways, and sharing something new like that with a SO is really appealing to me. I'm just not sure how to translate that to messages or dating in general.

    Edit- @Cultural Geek Girl - Actually what you described sounds quite attractive to me, but maybe I just like tom-girls alot.

    I wouldn't worry too much about not having precisely aligned interests. It has long been known that the "programmer and artist" couple is the only way the game community has managed to breed for decades. (This is mostly a joke. MOSTLY.)

    You're actually exactly the kind of person for whom that kind of compatibility is least necessary: someone who is looking to expand their field of knowledge and interest. I'd rather meet someone else who is open to new stuff than someone who shares all my likes and dislikes but never cares to discover anything new in the future.

    I think dating site profiles may be fairly poor indicators of compatibility, beyond some really basic filters. If someone really doesn't care about words (and uses u and r in place of you and are) there's no way we're compatible. The same thing is true if they hold a very strong opinion that is opposed to one I hold, and reflects a huge inherent difference in our fundamental natures... like if a guy said in his profile that he was a huge supporter of a political candidate I despise.

    Out of the last four people I was seriously interested in (two of whom I dated), only one of them was someone who I would have messaged with my usual dating site standards (and he was one who didn't want to date me). This has made me seriously reconsider my standards, and I'm trying to reply to more people now, but it's super hard.

    Enough attempts to be helpful to others, now more about me and my whining!

    One of my big problems is that I am "good on paper," that is to say, if you read a description of me, you'll probably think "how is she single?" or whatever. But that's its own problem... when you're talking with pictureless people, you tend to assume that they're physically attractive if they're emotionally or intellectually attractive (this is, I think, one of the reasons that George R.R. Martin feels the need to constantly re-emphasize that Brienne is ugly... if he didn't, people would forget and gradually mentally upgrade her appearance until she was super hot.) That's why I talk about trying to transform. I'm somewhere between 20-30lbs overweight due to health issues the last few years, and I've got some skin problems. My hair is also a sort of faded dirty strawberry blond, so I have pale, almost invisible eyebrows and eyelashes, which make me look less feminine. All of these things could be mitigated by me finding time to dedicate to my appearance, that's just something I haven't managed to do for a while.

    I'm also loud and jokey and vaguely rude; sort of the female equivalent of a character actor, but that's not really a thing that exists outside of someone like Carol Burnett. I make jokes and do pratfalls and physical comedy all the time, but I get the feeling that this kind of... doesn't help with the whole "picking up boys" thing.

    I'm trying hard not to sound like I'm being "forever alone" with all this. I have a decently high opinion of myself, but it's also true that almost none of the guys I've dated have routinely complimented my looks... it's always my personality and sense of humor and kindness. So just by process of elimination, I imagine that my looks and lack-of-ladylikeness are probably what's handicapping me, especially if the guy I'm kind of interested in is conventionally geek-handsome.

    Buttoneer, Brigadeer, and Keeper of the Book of Wil Wheaton.
    Triwizard Drinking Tournament - '09 !Hufflepuff unofficial conscript, '10 !Gryffindor
    Nerd blog at culturalgeekgirl.com
  • MahnmutMahnmut Registered User regular
    Third date with a guy who's cute and funny: success mostly!

    I'm kinda running up against my inexperience a little bit: making out, it's good, then I totally lose the plot and my whole body goes "this is weird what is it for?" :P #honestontheinternet

    Steam/LoL: Jericho89
  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    cultural geek girl that's just something that varies. a lot of dudes are looking for elegant necklines and demure giggles and the platonic ideal of femininity. but a lot of people like irreverent raunchiness. ain't no thing. with a big enough sample size of dudes someone will give you dick.

    trust me, i'm a mathematician.

    XMSODhjrer45.gif
  • mysticjuicermysticjuicer Registered User regular
    Mahnmut wrote: »
    Third date with a guy who's cute and funny: success mostly!

    I'm kinda running up against my inexperience a little bit: making out, it's good, then I totally lose the plot and my whole body goes "this is weird what is it for?" :P #honestontheinternet

    Haha! D'aw! <3

    narwhal wrote:
    Why am I Terran?
  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Oh my god I'm so embarrassed ... the guy I met up for coffee last week, I texted him back offering to meet in his town for something to eat. Wait a bit, he writes back that he's still in Portland, but he'll be back sometime next week and he'd be up for plans. Yes, sweet, awesome.

    So then I text my friend the news, and I meant to send her 'Yesssss got me another date next week!'

    Guess who I sent it too? Yeah shit. He asked if that text was meant for him, so I just wrote back 'yeah, uh feeling kind of embarrassed right now. Can't take it back can I ... well shit'
    Hopefully he has a sense of humor about the thing. If not, well I feel stupid.

    E: Thank god, he wrote back 'happens to the best of us' and he was flattered, and wants me to call him closer to the time I'm available. Yay for forgiveness, but I'm sure my face went through 10 kinds of red when I saw what I did.

    MetroidZoid on
    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    Hardly the worst thing to happen. I mean, you accidentally sent a note saying how excited you were to meet someone to the person you're meeting, rather than your friend. Now, if you'd said "Ugh, I have to see this guy again, he better put out this time," well...

    || Flickr — || PSN: EggyToast
  • GlyphGryphGlyphGryph Registered User regular
    Yeah, that sounds like the sort of mistake that can only make things better. I've heard plenty of stories of much worse mis-sends. :P

    Nothing does so much for a guys confidence as knowledge that not only are you talking about him, but you're saying things that are GOOD. I would be thrilled over such a clear display of honest interest, especially since I'm always nagged by a sneaking suspicion that other people may sometimes be less than 100% honest about their intentions, opinions, and desires. Crazy paranoia, I know! But I don't think it's too uncommon. ;)

    On my own front... Now follows the post-date depression where I begin rewriting history to convince myself it actually went horribly. That what I thought were good signs were not. That the person being busy the next day reflects a lack of interest. Lots of nonsense, really. This reflects on future interactions, killing the flow and ease we had before the first date, and destroying my interest in "embarrassing" myself again with a second one. I have wonderful confidence up to and through the first meeting and then, well... bleh. Pshoooooo-CRASH.

    There's a reason that, while I often have good first dates, I very rarely have seconds. I think I'm just going to stand over here in the corner and counter-productively beat myself up for a while.

  • lizardlooplizardloop Registered User regular
    Finally had my second date with coffee girl. The subject of Toe Jam & Earl came up. She expressed a profound love for the game and immediately began humming the theme tune. My mind flashed back two years to another date with another girl in another town. Toe Jam & Earl was mentioned. She expressed love and began singing the theme tune.
    My life repeats in ever stranger ways.

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    so I have pale, almost invisible eyebrows and eyelashes
    Represent!

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • AiouaAioua Novus Ordo Seclorum Lord of the ForumRegistered User regular
    Well, my date went good, I hope. She's smart, cuter than her pictures (!), and overall seemed pretty chill. I didn't get the vibe that she was as excited though... We've at least agreed to another date. I guess you're supposed to wait a few days to set it up? I'm thinking a walk around the zoo. It's hard to have awkward pauses when you're too busy going "CHECK OUT THESE AWESOME RED PANDAS!"

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we got booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • Space PickleSpace Pickle Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Okay, I caved and made an okc profile. Is this how I link you to it?

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/teacherguy1985

    edit- evidently not

    Space Pickle on
  • UltimanecatUltimanecat Registered User regular
    Okay, I caved and made an okc profile. Is this how I link you to it?

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile

    Nope. Your OKC username should go after the address you posted - thus, if your username were the same as your name here, it'd be ".../profile/Space_Pickle".

    Zoos are pretty decent date places - I went to one recently and had a lot of fun, had a few chances to get up close to the animals (and my date!), and the staff were pretty good wingmen and kept wanting to show us things behind the scenes (eggs, feeding, stuff like that). Also, since it was publicly administered, it actually wasn't nearly as expensive as other theme park-ish excursions.

    SteamID : same as my PA forum name
  • lizardlooplizardloop Registered User regular
    Coffee girl just told me that she's only really looking for friendship at the moment. I think I'll try being friends with her and see if it is worth it. I was kind of hoping for more though. Oh well.

  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    Ugh, one of those.

    Tell her to get off a dating site if she's just looking for friends.

  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    GlyphGryph wrote: »
    On my own front... Now follows the post-date depression where I begin rewriting history to convince myself it actually went horribly. That what I thought were good signs were not. That the person being busy the next day reflects a lack of interest. Lots of nonsense, really. This reflects on future interactions, killing the flow and ease we had before the first date, and destroying my interest in "embarrassing" myself again with a second one. I have wonderful confidence up to and through the first meeting and then, well... bleh. Pshoooooo-CRASH.

    There's a reason that, while I often have good first dates, I very rarely have seconds. I think I'm just going to stand over here in the corner and counter-productively beat myself up for a while.

    Damn, I know how this feels. Though, in my case recently I was totally justified in my paranoia which feels even more awful.

    It sucked because she waited until the morning of the second date, like after I had bought tickets, to cancel on me with no explanation. That was pretty rough, particularly because I was really into her and before the first date she seemed like super excited about talking to and meeting me (she messaged me first and we had a shit ton in common). It makes me horrified of what I might have done wrong.

    It'd have been awesome if we could've been friends or something instead of dating, but I have been told by multiple sources that trying to contact her for that purpose at this point is at best pathetic and desperate looking. It's been like a week since she canceled on me, would a "how's it going?" text be out of the question?

    By the by, here's a link to my profile if y'all want to critique it: okcupid.com/profile/TheArtofScience

    I know that 3/4 images are self-taken in my bathroom mirror, which is a big no-no, but I just don't get that many recent photos taken of me.

    mjoa2p.jpg
  • Space PickleSpace Pickle Registered User regular
    So I'm going to assume that all the straight men viewing my profile from places that are not even close to me (like, on the other side of the world) are you guys.

    RIght?

  • lizardlooplizardloop Registered User regular
    Lilnoobs wrote: »
    Ugh, one of those.

    Tell her to get off a dating site if she's just looking for friends.

    Well I get the feeling she had joined up on the rebound. The subject of exes came up in conversation and apparently she had only just come out of a three year relationship.

  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Whoo, second date finished! Ate at a fantastic pizza place that I didn't even know about, learned that he's either a not big eater, or was purposely not eating a lot. I finished two large slices as politely as possible. But dinner didn't take as long as we thought, so instead of finishing the night at 7 (lame), I said "well this is your town, what would you want to do?"

    We ended up going where all the high schoolers used to go (according to him), which was a trail at the edge of a development, that went up a mountain to some huge-ass boulders you had to semi-rock-climb, in the dark, by the light of the moon. Was kind of nervous as we're going out there, but nothing ventured nothing gained (plus, I'm pretty sure I out weight the guy, even if I'm shorter, I wasn't worrying about any creepy stuff). Ended up laying down on this giant rock for a couple of hours, just talking about everything. Never made it to any kissing point, either because I wasn't picking up on the signals, or the signals weren't there. I figure by next day, number three is a pretty safe bet that kissing would be normal, if not expected right? Thinking about inviting him to my place for dinner.

    This is exciting.

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Posting my profile here for my annual review, see if there are things that are outdated or need to be changed: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Munkus

    Also because I was just messaged out of the blue by a gorgeous woman who shares my personality type, almost all of my interests, sense of humor, and ideals about public service.

    Except she lives across the country.

    But holy shit, she seems perfect, and after one phonecall I'm already crushing on her pretty bad.

    Steam name: munkus_beaver
    Blizzard thing: munkus#1952
    Nintendo ID (3DS thinger): munkusbeaver
    Please give to the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America: http://www.ccfa.org/
    Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but it dies in the process.
  • EshEsh Tending bar. FFXIV. Spending too much money eating out. That's about it. Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    Posting my profile here for my annual review, see if there are things that are outdated or need to be changed: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Munkus

    Also because I was just messaged out of the blue by a gorgeous woman who shares my personality type, almost all of my interests, sense of humor, and ideals about public service.

    Except she lives across the country.

    But holy shit, she seems perfect, and after one phonecall I'm already crushing on her pretty bad.

    Long distance is the wrong distance.

    Follow up to my last date: She's coming over on Wednesday and we're ordering in Thai and watching Brick.

    "At first he thought it might be a natural occurrence - maybe a rabbit. But upon closer inspection, it was clear a knife had been used. And rabbits don't carry knives."

    Final Fantasy XIV:Lilja Sunblade
  • PlushyCthulhuPlushyCthulhu Registered User regular
    Esh wrote: »
    Posting my profile here for my annual review, see if there are things that are outdated or need to be changed: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Munkus

    Also because I was just messaged out of the blue by a gorgeous woman who shares my personality type, almost all of my interests, sense of humor, and ideals about public service.

    Except she lives across the country.

    But holy shit, she seems perfect, and after one phonecall I'm already crushing on her pretty bad.

    Long distance is the wrong distance.

    He's in Alabama - long distance is probably the right distance if it gets him to LA/SF/Portland/Seattle!

    Btw Munkus, I assume you're using it as a conversation ploy, but if not italics in OKC are simply : "< i >Using Italics< /i >"

    Steam/LoL: plushycthulhu
  • MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Profile looks good Munkus. Damn you and that dashing smile.

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
  • OrganichuOrganichu Registered User regular
    munkus i would have stanky, gay, we're-both-6'1"-sex with you

    XMSODhjrer45.gif
  • msmyamsmya Being Fabulous Registered User regular
    Organichu wrote: »
    munkus i would have stanky, gay, we're-both-6'1"-sex with you

    if this was FaceBook, I would "like" this comment. =P

    38993_100.png 37925_100.png
    Steam Profile / MsMya Stream Channel
  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Posting my profile here for my annual review, see if there are things that are outdated or need to be changed: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Munkus

    Also because I was just messaged out of the blue by a gorgeous woman who shares my personality type, almost all of my interests, sense of humor, and ideals about public service.

    Except she lives across the country.

    But holy shit, she seems perfect, and after one phonecall I'm already crushing on her pretty bad.

    Just make sure she's real, man. Last week I got a message from a woman from out of town. It smelled like a scam (I even posted in here saying so), but I did some google-fu and she kinda checked out, so I got curious and investigated. After an hour on the phone (and a conversation much more engaging than a lot of the women I've talked to online), I was convinced that maybe she was real and she really was coming in to town on business (and eventually moving here). Then when our 'date' came along she was stuck at the airport, the rental car agency wouldn't take cash and her card wasn't getting recognized and she suddenly had to drive 2 hours away that night to give someone some money and ohmygod it's a damsel in distress scam. After it was clear I wasn't about to offer my card over the phone, she had to check something and said she'd call me back. She hasn't.

    Funny for her, I work like 10 minutes from the airport, and I was already in my car. On the 5% chance it was real, I checked it out. Confirmed she wasn't there.

    Sorry to be a downer, but your post could been me on Tuesday night, so I thought I'd share :P

    Bobble on
  • rizriz Registered User regular
    That is a pretty creepy tale.

    Organichu wrote:
    she's some sort of malevolent creature who bores through this world into the next using hatred and suffering as her fuel
  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    edited March 2012
    Success Story!

    Found my current girlfriend of a little over a year on OKCupid. Likely is going to be my last girlfriend. I had just earned my masters and had moved back home to figure out my next step (which has now solidified as Law School), and she had just returned from a year in the Peace Corps in Namibia to get her Masters in Biology for eventual med school or doctoral studies.

    She's adorable, strong-willed, an excellent cook, and a number of other fantastic qualities none of you care about. But I got to date her after somewhere around... 50 first dates between my time in Phoenix and my time back here. Maybe 4/5 of those turned into second dates. None lasted more than four.

    Having skimmed the previous 40 pages, here are my tips on the online dating scene:

    10 Tips for your profile:
    Spoiler:

    10 Tips for communicating:
    Spoiler:

    As frustrating as the adage "It's always in the last place you look" is, it's as true for dating as it is for finding your keys. Online dating allows you to cross paths with people you may never have been aware of before. It's a safer environment for those of us more comfortable behind a keyboard. And if bars or clubs aren't your scenes, talking to strangers at Starbucks terrifies you, and you'd rather rewatch BSG than go get blackout drunk, it's the best place to find someone like you. :)

    RenaissanceDan on
  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Ugh, the forums broke viewing spoilers in IE now too. I have to view source just to read them.

    I like your tips, Dan. One thing to note about the IM approach, is that at least where I live, most women seem to have the IM feature disabled. If you're only engaging women with IMs, you're brushing off a lot of potential profiles. Plus there's the issue of only being able to do that when you're both online at the same time.

    Patch 5.4 wrote:
    First win of the day now awards 150 Conquest Points (up from 100).
    Subsequent wins now awards 75 Conquest Points (up from 50).
    YES! I AM INVINCIBLE!
  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    edited March 2012
    Eh, I wasn't suggesting that that was the only way. Just my preferred way, when it was available. I added people to my favorites list, talked to them when they were online, if we never lined up (or they never had IM on), I'd send them a brief greeting and invite them to chat sometime. As long as you remain online, they can be on IM and hidden, start the conversation with you, and not have to worry about the deluge of hopefuls.

    I was all for not eliminating people unless there is some severe, immediately detectable disconnect (for me, it was someone's religion is "VERY IMPORTANT" or they have > 0 children). And I made sure to note who I'd talked to/sent messages to, and who I hadn't. I treated it sort of like applying for jobs: I applied everywhere I'd be interested in trying, but I made sure that I kept that interest from going anywhere till some of it was returned. Which, honestly, took me some time to dial in. I scared plenty off with my enthusiasm early on.

    RenaissanceDan on
  • Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Bobble wrote: »
    Posting my profile here for my annual review, see if there are things that are outdated or need to be changed: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Munkus

    Also because I was just messaged out of the blue by a gorgeous woman who shares my personality type, almost all of my interests, sense of humor, and ideals about public service.

    Except she lives across the country.

    But holy shit, she seems perfect, and after one phonecall I'm already crushing on her pretty bad.

    Just make sure she's real, man. Last week I got a message from a woman from out of town. It smelled like a scam (I even posted in here saying so), but I did some google-fu and she kinda checked out, so I got curious and investigated. After an hour on the phone (and a conversation much more engaging than a lot of the women I've talked to online), I was convinced that maybe she was real and she really was coming in to town on business (and eventually moving here). Then when our 'date' came along she was stuck at the airport, the rental car agency wouldn't take cash and her card wasn't getting recognized and she suddenly had to drive 2 hours away that night to give someone some money and ohmygod it's a damsel in distress scam. After it was clear I wasn't about to offer my card over the phone, she had to check something and said she'd call me back. She hasn't.

    Funny for her, I work like 10 minutes from the airport, and I was already in my car. On the 5% chance it was real, I checked it out. Confirmed she wasn't there.

    Sorry to be a downer, but your post could been me on Tuesday night, so I thought I'd share :P

    That's a straight up scam there. But there's no such thing going on here, no real talk about either one of us meeting in the near future or moving. Both kinda tepidly testing the waters.

    I doubt that I won the spanish lottery.

    Steam name: munkus_beaver
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  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    That's a straight up scam there. But there's no such thing going on here, no real talk about either one of us meeting in the near future or moving. Both kinda tepidly testing the waters.

    I doubt that I won the spanish lottery.

    Glad to hear it, dude. I'm rooting for all of you to meet real people that only want to use your credit card with your permission :)

  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    I like the "back of the book" suggestion, as they're short, or you can think of bookjacket writeups on hardcover books that are more like 3-4 paragraphs. Either way, these actually are pretty specific if you go into a store and read them (the ones that aren't just platitudes, of course). Usually they say things like:
    In an unnamed dream country, the young man Cincinnatus C. is condemned to death by beheading for "gnostical turpitude." an imaginary crime that defies definition. Cincinnatus spends his last days in an absurd jail, where he is visited by chimerical jailers. an executioner who masquerades as a fellow prisoner, and by his in-laws. who lug their furniture with them into his cell. When Cincinnatus is led out to be executed. he simply wills his executioners out of existence: they disappear, along with the whole world they inhabit.

    or
    In reality, Hiro Protagonist delivers pizza for Uncle Enzo’s CosoNostra Pizza Inc., but in the Metaverse he’s a warrior prince. Plunging headlong into the enigma of a new computer virus that’s striking down hackers everywhere, he races along the neon-lit streets on a search-and-destroy mission for the shadowy virtual villain threatening to bring about infocalypse.

    Those are pretty specific. They are not "In a world where people enjoy long walks through the forest and eating all kinds of food." They are not "Here, John is laid back and has a good sense of humor."

    Be specific but leave them wanting more. Assume people are reading the back of your book and want to know if it's worthwhile getting it on their Kindle.

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