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[Internet Dating] "Who is your favorite duck?" and other dating questions

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Posts

  • chidonachidona Registered User regular
    I'm thinking of putting some solid cash down for match.com. PoF is... not a great pool despite having had limited success on it - I'm kind of getting bored seeing profile after profile of 'lol nt sure wat 2 rite', or seeing 'Havin fun' under interests, and kind of crave people who aren't messing around. But match.com is fairly pricey (with the cheapest option being £35 or something), so that's putting me off. Has anyone here had any experiences with the site? Is it worth it?

  • fortyforty Registered User regular
    Like all dating sites, people have had mixed experiences with it. For some people it ended up being a waste of money. Others found the (current) loves of their lives on it. I think the only way you can reasonably look at it is as a gamble.

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  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular

    The summary seems a bit off-putting. For instance, your first sentence
    I'm trying to find work in the fields that I enjoy after managing to finish uni in December.
    is a jumbled mess that just means "I'm a student". Just look at all the prepositions, man!

    "I'm a graphic design student at [place name] who likes to X, X, and X in my free time " is basically your first three paragraphs, but you take three paragraphs to write it. Reduce!

    Your music part has a typo. I've put my suggestion in the brackets below.
    The six things I could never do without
    1:Music it's useful for coming up [with] ideas and passing the time.

    Lilnoobs on
  • FirstComradeStalinFirstComradeStalin Registered User regular
    I've made a bunch of small edits since the last time my profile was on posted here and I think I lost track of my self-summary. It needs work.

    FirstComradeStalin on
    Picture1-4.png
  • SkyCaptainSkyCaptain Registered User regular
    chidona wrote: »
    I'm thinking of putting some solid cash down for match.com. PoF is... not a great pool despite having had limited success on it - I'm kind of getting bored seeing profile after profile of 'lol nt sure wat 2 rite', or seeing 'Havin fun' under interests, and kind of crave people who aren't messing around. But match.com is fairly pricey (with the cheapest option being £35 or something), so that's putting me off. Has anyone here had any experiences with the site? Is it worth it?

    I didn't have any luck with match at all. It was worthless to me and they didn't cancel my account when I went through their website. So I got charged an extra $60 or something ridiculous. Pissed me off. 90% of the girls you will message, are on free accounts only and won't be able to message you back. There's no way to really tell at a glance who is paid and who is free... so your already slim odds are even slimmer.

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  • gorall9gorall9 Registered User
    Getting back into online dating and could using some critique on my profile.

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/yassen9

    Tear it apart!

  • TaranisTaranis Must be the feeling, it brings to you That makes you do what you doRegistered User regular
    Okay, I think this is the place to ask: the new Okcupid android app has an option to invite nearby matches to locations to meet up. How/when should one use this feature or is it just another one of OKCupid's failed social experiments?

    nerosig_zps80ae1f48.png
  • KlykaKlyka DO you have any SPARE BATTERIES?Registered User regular
    So my Okcupid date was hella successful and she is a pretty awesome person.

    Hi 5 OKC!

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  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    Taranis wrote: »
    Okay, I think this is the place to ask: the new Okcupid android app has an option to invite nearby matches to locations to meet up. How/when should one use this feature or is it just another one of OKCupid's failed social experiments?

    Oooh... that sounds like something the world isn't ready for.

  • zepherinzepherin Registered User regular
    OKC is a pretty good place, I met a lady on OKC and I've been dating her for a month and a half. Yay!

  • KlykaKlyka DO you have any SPARE BATTERIES?Registered User regular
    Taranis wrote: »
    Okay, I think this is the place to ask: the new Okcupid android app has an option to invite nearby matches to locations to meet up. How/when should one use this feature or is it just another one of OKCupid's failed social experiments?

    Oooh... that sounds like something the world isn't ready for.

    "I wasn't stalking you, I have an app for that!"

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  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    Klyka wrote: »
    Taranis wrote: »
    Okay, I think this is the place to ask: the new Okcupid android app has an option to invite nearby matches to locations to meet up. How/when should one use this feature or is it just another one of OKCupid's failed social experiments?

    Oooh... that sounds like something the world isn't ready for.

    "I wasn't stalking you, I have an app for that!"

    NotAMurderer has sent you an invite to "Dark Alley Between 5th and Main" for "Yahtzee." Do you accept?

  • DredZedDredZed Registered User regular
    Klyka wrote: »
    Taranis wrote: »
    Okay, I think this is the place to ask: the new Okcupid android app has an option to invite nearby matches to locations to meet up. How/when should one use this feature or is it just another one of OKCupid's failed social experiments?

    Oooh... that sounds like something the world isn't ready for.

    "I wasn't stalking you, I have an app for that!"

    NotAMurderer has sent you an invite to "Dark Alley Between 5th and Main" for "Yahtzee." Do you accept?

    Sounds legit.

    In other news, I've been watching this thread for a while, because the online dating thing is pretty important in my background. I'm actually getting married in less than two weeks to a girl I met on OkCupid three and a half years ago.

    So, I just thought some of you guys having some trouble with finding the right person would like to know that it definitely can work out. I'd been on that site for probably at least a year or so (and gone on several dates with others I met on there) before I found her, and now we're getting ready to spend the rest of our lives together.

    And it all started with her messaging me to say "Hi."

    Seriously. That was her whole first message, lol.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • msmyamsmya Registered User regular
    DredZed wrote: »
    Klyka wrote: »
    Taranis wrote: »
    Okay, I think this is the place to ask: the new Okcupid android app has an option to invite nearby matches to locations to meet up. How/when should one use this feature or is it just another one of OKCupid's failed social experiments?

    Oooh... that sounds like something the world isn't ready for.

    "I wasn't stalking you, I have an app for that!"

    NotAMurderer has sent you an invite to "Dark Alley Between 5th and Main" for "Yahtzee." Do you accept?

    Sounds legit.

    In other news, I've been watching this thread for a while, because the online dating thing is pretty important in my background. I'm actually getting married in less than two weeks to a girl I met on OkCupid three and a half years ago.

    So, I just thought some of you guys having some trouble with finding the right person would like to know that it definitely can work out. I'd been on that site for probably at least a year or so (and gone on several dates with others I met on there) before I found her, and now we're getting ready to spend the rest of our lives together.

    And it all started with her messaging me to say "Hi."

    Seriously. That was her whole first message, lol.

    Awww, sounds so sweet.

    Gives me some hope =)


  • EggyToastEggyToast Registered User regular
    SkyCaptain wrote: »
    chidona wrote: »
    I'm thinking of putting some solid cash down for match.com. PoF is... not a great pool despite having had limited success on it - I'm kind of getting bored seeing profile after profile of 'lol nt sure wat 2 rite', or seeing 'Havin fun' under interests, and kind of crave people who aren't messing around. But match.com is fairly pricey (with the cheapest option being £35 or something), so that's putting me off. Has anyone here had any experiences with the site? Is it worth it?

    I didn't have any luck with match at all. It was worthless to me and they didn't cancel my account when I went through their website. So I got charged an extra $60 or something ridiculous. Pissed me off. 90% of the girls you will message, are on free accounts only and won't be able to message you back. There's no way to really tell at a glance who is paid and who is free... so your already slim odds are even slimmer.

    I think the paid sites encourage the carpet-bomb method and due to the money involved, people are more likely to act in a short period of time since they can get "cut off" from contacting someone if they dally too long. But yes, that also tends to mean you're messaging a lot of people who can't message you in return, and if someone isn't quite comfortable with the idea of meeting people online, you can lose dates simply due to timing.

    It's a different dynamic compared to the free sites, and one you should consider. I think the fact that meeting people on Match, and that the have their "money back guarantee," implies that you're more likely to get an actual date out of Match simply because if you message a girl who has paid $30 to meet people and is 3 days from being cut-off from the site, she's likely to meet up with you -- and you're more likely to message everyone you can with some sort of message if you know you only have 30 days to do it. You can tell that from this very thread -- look at the number of people who are saying things like "yeah I have a list I'm working my way through" or "I'm still working on my profile, don't really want to bother with pictures or messaging people until I'm ready." Paying money on a dating website tends to imply "I'm ready," which some people prefer.

    That said, I still prefer and suggest the free method, unless OKCupid is terrible in your area.

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  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    Yeah, Match may depend on your area. I met a fair share of women on there and didn't put nearly the effort into it that maybe I should/could have. There's something to be said for people who are serious enough about dating that they're willing to pay money for the site. Also, at least in my area, it's a slightly different crowd (a lot more young professionals, med students, etc) on match compared to OKC and POF. The money-back guarantee does have some requirements, so if you're looking at that as a safety net, be aware of those.

    Bobble on
    Cambiata wrote: »
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  • NewtronNewtron Registered User regular
    siiiiigh

    I've been messaging a girl back and forth for two weeks now, and I finally manned up and asked her if I could call her. Of course she ignored that in her response to me (which took longer than unusual of course). She got out of a relationship recently, so I think I might have jumped the gun. I guess I figured if she was on a dating site she'd be ready to go back to dating. Whooops!

    Now I'm trying to figure out if I want to invest more time and energy into this thing we are doing to see if I can make her more comfortable, or if I should just cut it off right now and save myself whatever woes are ahead.

  • SightTDWSightTDW Registered User regular
    Got around to reopening my OKC account, but I'm not sure that I'm going to get around to setting it up for a little while.

    Just scouted around a bit and I'm at least happy to see that there's a lot of new people from my area since I was last on.

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  • KlykaKlyka DO you have any SPARE BATTERIES?Registered User regular
    OKC girl I met is damn awesome and I can't wait to see her again tomorrow :D

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  • BuddiesBuddies Registered User regular
    Newtron wrote: »
    siiiiigh

    I've been messaging a girl back and forth for two weeks now, and I finally manned up and asked her if I could call her. Of course she ignored that in her response to me (which took longer than unusual of course). She got out of a relationship recently, so I think I might have jumped the gun. I guess I figured if she was on a dating site she'd be ready to go back to dating. Whooops!

    Now I'm trying to figure out if I want to invest more time and energy into this thing we are doing to see if I can make her more comfortable, or if I should just cut it off right now and save myself whatever woes are ahead.

    I'd just send her a message where the only content was "Sooo... can I give you a call sometime? What's your number?"

    Be a little assertive and ask her for her number flat out. If she doesn't respond in a week owell, move on. If she dodges it and sends a reply that does not include her #, owell move on. If she gives you her number, SCORE.

  • N1tSt4lkerN1tSt4lker Registered User regular
    Newtron wrote: »
    siiiiigh

    I've been messaging a girl back and forth for two weeks now, and I finally manned up and asked her if I could call her. Of course she ignored that in her response to me (which took longer than unusual of course). She got out of a relationship recently, so I think I might have jumped the gun. I guess I figured if she was on a dating site she'd be ready to go back to dating. Whooops!

    Now I'm trying to figure out if I want to invest more time and energy into this thing we are doing to see if I can make her more comfortable, or if I should just cut it off right now and save myself whatever woes are ahead.

    Personally, I dislike talking on the phone as the first time I talk to someone new. It feels so awkward, and I never know what to talk about. I prefer a guy to just ask me to meet for coffee or something rather than ask if they can call me. I know some girls like to chat on the phone before meeting, but her ignoring your suggestion might indicate she dislikes phone chats? That's not really advice, just perspective, I suppose. haha. Not sure how helpful that really is.

  • BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    It would not surprise me if a significant number of women prefer to meet for coffee before giving you a phone number. They can always decline a second coffee meet, but they can't un-give a creeper their number. Not that you're a creeper, but some are a little more protective of their digits than others.

    So, yeah. Two weeks? Take it offline. Grab coffee, or lunch, or dinner, or a drink, or get together and eat some caramels.

    Cambiata wrote: »
    You know what this thread needs? Some Turian porn.
  • SheepSheep Registered User, __BANNED USERS
    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/sleepinginstere

    Have at it.

    Yes, I know my username was cut off. I'm currently contemplating starting completely over or dropping the 15$ to change my name.

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  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    Klyka wrote: »
    OKC girl I met is damn awesome and I can't wait to see her again tomorrow :D
    Happiest story in the thread.

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  • NewtronNewtron Registered User regular
    Thanks for the advice guys, Ill keep it in mind. Especially since Ive decided that I dont have anything to lose by keeping the ball rolling.

  • ReXXReXX Registered User
    It's been so long since I've posted anything in this forum, but I feel like the advice might be necessary: have a look at my profile?

    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LostCosmonaut88

    I wish I had a better DJing photo to use, or a higher-res wedding one: that was one dashing kilt.

  • RobesRobes Registered User regular
    So i encountered a scammer on okcupid today. This girl has a profile, and is a real person, tried to talk me into signing up on this cam site to "Verify my identity" because she wanted to meet this weekend.
    Hilariously enough, she said it was for her protection. Please just report her profile to get it banned.
    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/crista_88

    Surprised people get paid to do that.

    Robes on
  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    Robes wrote: »
    So i encountered a scammer on okcupid today. This girl has a profile, and is a real person, tried to talk me into signing up on this cam site to "Verify my identity" because she wanted to meet this weekend.
    Hilariously enough, she said it was for her protection. Please just report her profile to get it banned.
    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/crista_88

    Surprised people get paid to do that.

    If you think that picture is of her, I'm here to shatter your naivete. :) Those do exist on all the free sites. Best thing to do is to not get your hopes up until you actually meet someone. In case they are baiting you into a let down (because honestly, anyone who is dumb/desperate enough to bite on that pitch needs counseling more than a dating site).

    Also, if all of that "Wanna meet you, sign up on this cam site, then we can hang out!" was in a message, it's fairly likely she was a bot. Not guaranteed. But likely. If she was actively chatting with you for a while before throwing her pitch, then it's not even good odds that she's a 'she.'

  • RobesRobes Registered User regular
    Robes wrote: »
    So i encountered a scammer on okcupid today. This girl has a profile, and is a real person, tried to talk me into signing up on this cam site to "Verify my identity" because she wanted to meet this weekend.
    Hilariously enough, she said it was for her protection. Please just report her profile to get it banned.
    http://www.okcupid.com/profile/crista_88

    Surprised people get paid to do that.

    If you think that picture is of her, I'm here to shatter your naivete. :) Those do exist on all the free sites. Best thing to do is to not get your hopes up until you actually meet someone. In case they are baiting you into a let down (because honestly, anyone who is dumb/desperate enough to bite on that pitch needs counseling more than a dating site).

    Also, if all of that "Wanna meet you, sign up on this cam site, then we can hang out!" was in a message, it's fairly likely she was a bot. Not guaranteed. But likely. If she was actively chatting with you for a while before throwing her pitch, then it's not even good odds that she's a 'she.'

    I've come across this scam before. "She" wasn't a bot. I knew as soon as she asked me for my yahoo ID she was a scammer, since that is the instant messenger of scammers. It was a person trying to pitch to me to use my credit card to join this cam website. I mainly just posted this here to spread awareness of the fact, and to just get her profile reported a couple more times to get her banned.

    The pitch was, hilariously enough, that "She" was raped before, and she used this site as a security measure to do background checks on people she dated. I needed to sign up for free to "Verify my identity". I called it her anti-rape site.

  • NewtronNewtron Registered User regular
    So this one girl's profile is centered around how much of a geek queen she is.

    She does all kinds of gaming, collects animus, and cosplays at conventions. She then ends her profile with "You should message me if: You are CAUCASIAN." with a list of a few other non-race related padding.

    It's pretty funny to see a girl dressed in a dark elf getup being all about the caucasians.

  • TcheldorTcheldor Registered User regular
    Ugh. I had 3 dates w/this OKC gal, but then I made the mistake of asking her if she was interested in being exclusive. A few days later she was all "totally not ready for a relationship sorry."

    Totally screwed the pooch on that one.

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  • LilnoobsLilnoobs Alpha Queue Registered User regular
    You can't backtrack on that? Be like "I just wanted to be clear because I'm totally feeling the same"?

  • Mr_GrinchMr_Grinch Registered User regular
    Someone a page back was looking for other UK dating websites. When I was single I met a few people through www.freeukdating.com or maybe .net . I can't check at work, dating websites are blocked.

    They hate love, clearly.

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  • SixSix Registered User regular
    I am also marrying a girl I met on okc. We've spent the last few weekends visiting potential wedding venues.

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  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    Six wrote: »
    I am also marrying a girl I met on okc. We've spent the last few weekends visiting potential wedding venues.

    Looking at rings this weekend with the girl I met on OKC. :)

  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    Six wrote: »
    I am also marrying a girl I met on okc. We've spent the last few weekends visiting potential wedding venues.

    Looking at rings this weekend with the girl I met on OKC. :)
    Get one of those solid titanium rings for yourself, those are awesome.

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  • BursarBursar 16 tons of #9 coleslaw Registered User regular
    Is "You've always been nothing but a perfect gentleman, but I need someone who challenges me" a backhanded compliment, or am I being thin-skinned? This comes after three dates, so I'm not sure where the "challenge" part comes into play here; had I rigged up an obstacle course outside our first meeting spot, might things have gone differently?

  • JAEFJAEF Unstoppably Bald Registered User regular
    I wouldn't recommend interpreting it literally. Take it for what it's saying to you about the relationship. "We've had 3 dates, even though you're great you're not what I'm looking for, but thanks."

    Don't try to what-if it. There's no benefit there.

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  • GnomercyGnomercy Registered User
    Bursar wrote: »
    Is "You've always been nothing but a perfect gentleman, but I need someone who challenges me" a backhanded compliment, or am I being thin-skinned? This comes after three dates, so I'm not sure where the "challenge" part comes into play here; had I rigged up an obstacle course outside our first meeting spot, might things have gone differently?

    This probably translates to you being a nice/good guy but there just wasn't that "spark" that she wants. Don't worry, move on.

  • RenaissanceDanRenaissanceDan Registered User
    Gnomercy wrote: »
    Bursar wrote: »
    Is "You've always been nothing but a perfect gentleman, but I need someone who challenges me" a backhanded compliment, or am I being thin-skinned? This comes after three dates, so I'm not sure where the "challenge" part comes into play here; had I rigged up an obstacle course outside our first meeting spot, might things have gone differently?

    This probably translates to you being a nice/good guy but there just wasn't that "spark" that she wants. Don't worry, move on.

    Yeah. It's also probably a lack-of-maturity thing on her part. Because I guarantee you at the same time she wants someone who will 'take her as she is.' Which are mutually exclusive.

This discussion has been closed.