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The True American Dog Thread

2456

Posts

  • George Fornby GrillGeorge Fornby Grill ...Like Clockwork Registered User regular
    Melding wrote:
    found this blog a while back, it never stops being amazing

    Are you the one who posted it in facebook chat? because if you are: Thank you!

    Probably, yeah. The sheer absurdity of every picture is just so fantastic, now I am going to stare at this more instead of eating today.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Lion Finds Vampire's Jokes Hilarious

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  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    This is the strangest fucking thing. I love it.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Kooly the Bear Wins Tournament for College Team

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    The sports team of West Joggin College have earned another day of high-fives as their volleyball playing bear has helped them take first place with a win yesterday. The bear, named Kooly Richards, was first discovered by the school's dean, who would feed the bear garbage everyday by the playground.

    "I fell in love with him right away," says dean Jack Greene Jr., "the first thing I fed him was a pair of sunglasses, so I named him Kooly."

    Kooly is a common breed of bear known as the Garbage-Bear, generally known for their hunger and potential for being a sports fan. Dean Greene first brought Kooly to a match to cheer as the school's official mascot. But then one day, at one of the volleyball games, tragedy struck. The ball took an odd bounce and sailed towards Kooly, and while many expected him to just eat the ball as if it were garbage, Kooly proceded to slam the ball at one particular child on the opposing team.

    "I've never seen anything like it," says Greene, "he kept spiking the ball at that boy, over and over. He showed amazing talent."

  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    BOAT

    110812_HorseTakesCrimeTour15.jpg

    Butters on
    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    CAUTION!
    Free True Soda

  • Crotchless Gorilla SuitCrotchless Gorilla Suit Registered User
    edited October 2011
    About time you make this thread, Melding.

    I think this one is my favorite.
    GOxaw.jpg

    Boy Scout Leader Ties Forbidden Knot

    Crotchless Gorilla Suit on
  • ButtersButters A glass of some milks Registered User regular
    I want a "ROPE 2006" t-shirt.

    110624_barfysoccerfootball10.jpg

    League of Legends: Lamby Cakes | XBox Live: Jon Butters
  • YaYaYaYa Rick and Morty forever and ever 100 years! a100timesRickandMorty.comRegistered User regular
    what the hell is even

    I don't

    aaahh

    AAAAAHHHH

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Lion Replaces Eagle as Country's Hero

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    In an astonishing display of skills and academics, the lion community has surpassed the bald eagle of America at this year's Xtreme Bravery Sportz Jam. The eagle, which will lose its title as Country's Best Hero for the first time in decades, was disqualified in the "Proudy Test" category for failing to give the peace sign to an elderly gentlemen during a morning shower.

    Xtreme Bravery Sportz Jam is a month long event held each year in Radbury Mansion. Originating in 1927, Joseph J. Radbury began this event in the forest next to Washinton D.C, where he challenged the animal population to build a mansion for he and his family. Each breed was given 4 sacks of rope, 2 items of gold, and a pile of water with sticks in it. Having experience in gold crafting, the eagles were quick to finish and charmed the hearts of the Radbury family and all of America.

    The lions have been trying for years to win America's love, but their dumb faces have prevented them from winning the "Sunglasses Test" for the past 35 years. Many believe the aging Radbury couldn't properly see the eagles wearing their 21st century sunglasses, costing them much needed points. One eagle even came to the winning ceremony wearing a pair of the lion's sunglasses, with a sign that read, "Dumb Glasses".

  • DichotomyDichotomy Registered User regular
    I am going to make those sunglasses and I am going to become farcically rich

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  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    I have a friend who doesn't like this site, and i don't understand him anymore.

    it's like, he hates wonderful.

  • YukiraYukira My watch is stopped on Jump Time.Registered User regular
    I want a "Sports Champion" t-shirt.

    Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn - Masha Amariyo
    3DS Friend Code: 4854-6566-1045
    My fashion sense is impeccable.
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Freedom Shield Protects Eagle From Murder

    freedomshield.jpg

  • The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    i love american dog

  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    True American Dog Hosts Annual Costume Contest
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    Justin Bieber eagle

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  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Polar Warbear ˁ ͡° ᴥ ͡°ˀRegistered User regular
    How have I never heard of this before???

  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    these are too good

    @nealcm @faynor
    nerdgasmic.gif1420 6068 6113 - XBL Atomoclassic
  • Der Waffle MousDer Waffle Mous WALK 3X FASTER New Yark, New Yark.Registered User regular
    Is..

    Is that scorpion dressed as Jonbenet Ramsey?

    zaku.png
    Steam PSN: DerWaffleMous Origin: DerWaffleMous Bnet: WaffleMous#1483
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Dog First Ever to Order "Food on the Rocks"

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    God applauded yesterday when Throne the dog made the choice of a lifetime at Murmie’s bar pubbery. Throne was the first in the world to even dare to think about ordering “Food on the Rocks”, a mixed drink consisting of ice, vodka, and aged snacks. He thought about it for all of fifteen seconds before the peer pressure and physical violence from his buddies transcended him. “Order it you fucking pussy!” was heard throughout the bar with much enthusiasm.
    “Food on the Rocks” had been avoided by even the most audacious of drinkers since its conception in 1432. Measuring in at three gallons of ninety proof ‘death water’ (not including the mandatory re-fill) and a conscious selection of ‘fooders’ and ‘foodies’, this legendary horse of a drink is anything but a joke.
    “I was so fucked up I couldn’t remember shit. I do remember Throne the dog ordering 'Food on the Rocks' though. That was amazing,” explained Murmie’s bartender. Throne not only downed “Food on the rocks” at magnificent speeds, he also chewed through the glass and vomited blood for six straight minutes. “If he didn’t die we would’ve loved to have seen him do it again. I don’t know if he’ll be able to do much now,” teased Throne’s good friend, Clarissa.
    Will Throne’s death encourage kids to “be fun” and “have trashed”? It’s very likely. At the writing of this article, I can tell kids have become more “dareful” just by the way they are getting tattoos of Throne ordering “Food on the Rocks.”
    -Falcon G.

  • GatsbyGatsby You come at the Nidoking You best not missRegistered User regular
    I

    CAN'T

    STOP

    LAUGHING

    nidosig_zps0735f1a4.png
    Steam ID
    Friend Code: 2766 - 9202 - 0140
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    edited October 2011
    Dog Sees Some Fucked Up Shit in Magical Forest

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    Farmer Habertick had police rescue his dog Joey from the magical forest that lies within the borders of Peru this weekend. Habertick realized his dog was missing when he did not return from his morning shoe collecting job.
    "My dog goes around the neighborhood collecting people's shoes so that I can steal them," says the farmer, "I realized he'd gone missing when I had no shoes to put in my milk for lunch. But I noticed a trail of wood glue on the ground, and I knew exactly where he could be."
    Habertick is known around town for having an large collection of bronze statues that he makes delicious sandwiches from. He disposes of the excess statue parts in the forest in his backyard, where, years ago, wood- glue was invented by birds and sunshine. The forest was given the title Woodglue Woods, but some locals had trouble pronouncing it so it became better known as Magical Forest.
    "It's unclear what life-forms have evolved in the Magical Foest, but we do know that excess amounts of woodglue and bronze do not mix," says therapist Howard Froll, "Joey has seen some very traumatic images in that forest. He is currently in the critical condition known as death, and I can't help him unless he answers some more questions about the forest."
    -Hal Cronweld

    Melding on
  • JustinSane07JustinSane07 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited October 2011
    New Horse-shaped Bullets Plant Trees Instantly
    100806_NewHorseShapedBulletsPlantsTreesInGround.jpg

    JustinSane07 on
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Dog Sells Shittiest Painting Ever

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    History was made this afternoon when Dogatello's "worst painting ever" went up for auction exclusively to the wives of the members of the Marine Golf Classic Committee. Of the six women involved across the nation, three declined the opportunity due to being retired and being old. Starting bids began as low as five paper clips to an eventual high and winning bid of seven pieces of hope, brought forth by Margaret Cape, America's favorite wife of a member of the Marine Golf Classic Committee.
    "I know a real Dogatello when i can see one, and this one takes the clothes off a cake. Dogatello is novicely masterful; a true blind visionary and a good father to his kidnapped children. His paintings could bring Ronald Reagan back to life, cure his alzheimers, and then turn him into a child," Margaret promised. "My husband was a marine. Once a marine, always a marine."
    Margaret choked on these words, dying instantly, and more importantly - putting Dogatello's painting back on the market. A combination funeral/auction will be held at Victoria Tent's annual garage sale next December with all proceeds going to Alaska.

  • HobnailHobnail Registered User regular
    A truly diseased mind

  • Day of the BearDay of the Bear The Qun demandsRegistered User regular
    Three years of magic

    m6eoUgQ.jpg
  • KeithKeith Registered User regular
    This site has been going on for 3 years

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  • MaximumMaximum Registered User regular
    I haven't laughed this hard in so long.

  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Runaway Train Stopped by Kooly the Bear

    100729bearstopstrainbyw.jpg

  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    holy shit this site

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • BerkBerk Registered User regular
  • Calamity JaneCalamity Jane That Wrong Love Registered User regular
    yeah. yeah alright I'll bite

  • MorivethMoriveth Nobody suspects a thing... Registered User regular
    What

    what is this

  • JoeUserJoeUser Registered User regular
    The truest American dog:

    girlsbeachbikinidogyeah.jpg

    PSN: JoeUser80 Steam
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    JoeUser wrote:
    The truest American dog:

    girlsbeachbikinidogyeah.jpg

    I

    LOVE

    this dog/picture

    STEAM
    Spoiler:
  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    Melding wrote:
    100903eagleusessailboat.jpg

    Does this one have a headline?

    Because oh my God, My Dad's Car 2 3D.

    Owlsig.jpg
  • MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Jimothy wrote: »
    Melding wrote:
    100903eagleusessailboat.jpg

    Does this one have a headline?

    Because oh my God, My Dad's Car 2 3D.

    Eagle Uses Sailboat to Show Latest Will Smith Movies to Sea Creatures

  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    Well, that certainly is what's happening.

    Owlsig.jpg
  • MaximumMaximum Registered User regular
    Don't sit so close to screen seagull, you'll hurt your eyes.

  • NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    I really want to see a movie where will smith plays three differently-aged versions of himself

    @nealcm @faynor
    nerdgasmic.gif1420 6068 6113 - XBL Atomoclassic
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