Farmers screwed up our internet again

Henroid

Aneurhythmia wrote:

Aren't you guys a little old to still believe in alt accounts?

I fucking love this post.

Santa

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

santa what the haps bro dawg

Why hello there young man. Santa thinks you are a lovely boy but wishes that your name was not so vulgar. Bastards rarely get to be on the Nice List.

HO HO HO!

The Lovely Bastard

santa, natek says he wants you inside him

Blankzilla

Santa,

What voice should I be reading your posts in?

Blankzilla

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

damta, natek says he wants you inside him

Go to bed, drunky.

Santa

natek wrote:

I love you, santa

Santa loves you more than Jesus loves you, Natek.

Ho ho ho!

The Lovely Bastard

Santa wrote:

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

santa what the haps bro dawg

Why hello there young man. Santa thinks you are a lovely boy but wishes that your name was not so vulgar. Bastards rarely get to be on the Nice List.

HO HO HO!

WHY MUST I CONTINUALLY BE PUNISHED BY MY MOTHER'S INDISCRETION

Melding

Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.

The Lovely Bastard

Blankzilla wrote:

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

damta, natek says he wants you inside him

Go to bed, drunky.

never! I got more beers to drink!

Bucketman

Santa, do you and UPS ever work in conjunction to help deliver presents?

Santa

Blankzilla wrote:

Santa,

What voice should I be reading your posts in?

Hello Blank,

Little known fact, Santa voiced Big Mouth Billy Bass!



HO HO HO

Henroid

Santa,

How come you ignored my letter when I was 8 years old to make my parents happy again and get back together?

Santa

Melding wrote:

Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.

Hello Melding,

Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.

HO HO HO

natek

santa, do you hate jesus?

The Lovely Bastard

Santa wrote:

Melding wrote:

Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.

Hello Melding,

Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.

HO HO HO

well see that's your first clerical error

Santa

Bucketman wrote:

Santa, do you and UPS ever work in conjunction to help deliver presents?

Hello Bucketman!

Santa is feeling his age! Santa's diabeetus make travelling long distances. Fortunately, Santa has daily pickup with UPS. It's not cheap, but it works.

Ho ho ho!!

Santa

Henroid wrote:

Santa,

How come you ignored my letter when I was 8 years old to make my parents happy again and get back together?

Hello Henroid,

Santa was trying to figure out the most polite way of telling you that the break up was your fault.

Ho ho ho!!

Santa

natek wrote:

santa, do you hate jesus?

Hello Natek,

Santa doesn't hate Jesus. It's just that Santa only believe in you, if you believe in Santa!

Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus mention Santa. Jesus did not believe in Santa.

Ho ho ho!!

Santa

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

Santa wrote:

Melding wrote:

Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.

Hello Melding,

Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.

HO HO HO

well see that's your first clerical error

Now now, Lovely Bastard. Don't try to drag others down with you.

Ho ho ho!!!

ChicoBlue

Santa, who come you never drink the milk I leave out for you?

I spend all year saving it up for you.

Blankzilla

Santa,

One year for Christmas I asked for the transforming Greymon Digimon action figure but I got lame Garurumon instead

why do you hate me

TrippyJing

Santa, can you give me the gift of Kung Fu?

The Lovely Bastard

all will fall

natek

oh
well I hate jesus for you, santa
because I know you just gotta be all nice in front of the kiddies
can't be sayin' you hate jesus and such

Santa

ChicoBlue wrote:

Santa, who come you never drink the milk I leave out for you?

I spend all year saving it up for you.

Hello Chico,

Santa is lactose intolerant. You should have listened to Tim Allen.

Ho ho ho!!

Henroid

Santa wrote:

Henroid wrote:

Santa,

How come you ignored my letter when I was 8 years old to make my parents happy again and get back together?

Hello Henroid,

Santa was trying to figure out the most polite way of telling you that the break up was your fault.

Ho ho ho!!

Santa needs to do better than waiting 20 years! You're losing your touch, old man!

Santa

Blankzilla wrote:

Santa,

One year for Christmas I asked for the transforming Greymon Digimon action figure but I got lame Garurumon instead

why do you hate me

Hello Blank!

Santa's elves made a little mistake it seems.

Beatings Re-education is in order.

HO HO HO

Melding

Santa wrote: »

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

Santa wrote:

Melding wrote:

Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.

Hello Melding,

Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.

HO HO HO

well see that's your first clerical error

Now now, Lovely Bastard. Don't try to drag others down with you.

Ho ho ho!!!

Well to be fair, he died like 300 years before you were even born.

So i mean, bible doesn't mention me neither, but to say Jesus doesn't accept my existence is silly. Come on Santa, you're better then this.

P.S. I flushed the stash. It'd had gone bad anyway, so really keeping it ain't doing any of us any favours.

The Lovely Bastard

also santa I gotta ask you a question

why did you never bring me happiness

Tox

Santa wrote:

#pipe wrote:

You're the best, Santa

Santa loves you very much, pipe. But Jesus forgives. Santa does not.

Holy shit that's awesome

Chimera

Santa wrote:

Chimera wrote:

Santa, is this finally the year I get that pony I always asked for?

Ho ho ho, Chimera! Santa can provide the pony, but you have forgotten to ask for proper fencing, shelter, and feeding equipment for the pony. Santa cannot in good conscience put the care of a living creature in the hands of a girl so thoughtless!

Santa has been assuming all this time that you expected to house the pony in your small living area. Chimera, ponies cannot flourish in such an environment!

Even if I let it eat from the leaves of my desk fern and house ficus? It doesn't have to be a big pony.... just maybe one of those little miniature ones. I want to name her Professor Snuggles. :c

Santa

TrippyJing wrote:

Santa, can you give me the gift of Kung Fu?

Hello Trippy,

Ho ho ho! Santa is saving you from a horrible life-ending injury by denying the knowledge of Kung-fu.

Santa

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

also santa I gotta ask you a question

why did you never bring me happiness

Lovely Bastard. Santa can only give presents that exist in our reality.

Ho ho ho!

Santa

Melding wrote:

Santa wrote: »

The Lovely Bastard wrote:

Santa wrote:

Melding wrote:

Seriously Santa, i've been sitting on shit package for over a month now, either come get it or i'm calling the fed. I can't get caught with this again.

Hello Melding,

Santa's eraser is poised over your name on the Nice List, young lady.

HO HO HO

well see that's your first clerical error

Now now, Lovely Bastard. Don't try to drag others down with you.

Ho ho ho!!!

Well to be fair, he died like 300 years before you were even born.

So i mean, bible doesn't mention me neither, but to say Jesus doesn't accept my existence is silly. Come on Santa, you're better then this.

P.S. I flushed the stash. It'd had gone bad anyway, so really keeping it ain't doing any of us any favours.

Ho ho ho! Santa is timeless. Santa is the beginning and the end.

The Lovely Bastard

melding way to quote the wrong post

for your punishment, bring me a beer

Santa

Henroid wrote:

Santa wrote:

Henroid wrote:

Santa,

How come you ignored my letter when I was 8 years old to make my parents happy again and get back together?

Hello Henroid,

Santa was trying to figure out the most polite way of telling you that the break up was your fault.

Ho ho ho!!

Santa needs to do better than waiting 20 years! You're losing your touch, old man!

Santa would have kept that secret from you forever if you had kept yourself off the Naughty List!

HO HO HO!

Druhim

Fuck you Santa! Jesus is the reason for the season!

spono

every time santa writes "ho ho ho", I think "now I have a machine gun"

Melding

The Lovely Bastard wrote: »

melding way to quote the wrong post

for your punishment, bring me a beer

Sorry, like Santa, i can only deliver things to legitimate children.

Thems the rules.

Santa wrote: »

Ho ho ho! Santa is timeless. Santa is the beginning and the end.

Then how are you starting to feel your age?

Are you saying that the end is nigh and we should all repent?

The Lovely Bastard

santa are you now or have you ever been a member of the communist party