Trenches comic: Tuesday Nov. 15, 2011 - Friction

Bogey

Justice in the Trenches

11/15/2011 - Anonymous

My production team was doing full QA for a space sim as part of a new endeavor to provide a QA service during development downtime. This particular space sim was awful. We spent hours trying to divine controls, objectives, and how to shoot down a single enemy craft. (When all was said and done, I destroyed one fighter in 3 months of testing in god mode after chasing it for an hour).

The game wasn’t that buggy, it was just BAD. I recall one impossible mission that required the player to shoot down 8 enemy craft in ten minutes or the objective corvette-type vessel became invincible. Except none of this was actually explained. It just threw you in and you were expected to know.

The highlight of the experience came one day after submitting constructive feedback like “maybe you should lower enemy health or increase player weapon damage.” We received an e-mail from the lead designer in bold, underlined, red text that “MAYBE YOU NEED BETTER GAMERS IN YOUR TEST DEPARTMENT.” Keep in mind, my team was comprised of gamers that would get saluted in the trenches for their gaming knowledge and fragging skills.

In a rare fit of justice for QA everywhere, the game was scrapped, the designer shown the door, and the game never saw a release.

JAEF

I liked it, but the text in the last panel kind of killed it for me in an almost CAD fashion. Felt like it would've been more satisfying either at 3 panels, or the fourth with no text.

Karl

I'm just happy that story didn't end with "and then I was fired".

But yeah, I tested some really crappy games in my time. And the developers were all "OUR GAME IS PERFECT"

Jasper

This is a breakthrough for Trenches. A funny comic. Please keep it up.

Athenor

Man, this sounds like a certain individual with the name D.S., except I don't thinkhis games were put through external QA, or cancelled for that matter.

rockmonkey

It was a good comic. I enjoyed this.

I liked JAEF's idea that the fourth panel have no text, but it's probably best this way for the masses. Or perhaps had the text bubble from 4 to be a 3rd and final bubble in 3 then leave 4 w/o text, but what do I know I've never created anything of value.

Cambiata

This is the first time I've laughed aloud at a Trenches comic. Good job!

And I disagree about the panel numbers, it wasn't until panel 4 that I laughed.

collinc

I too liked the 4th panel. I'm watching you, door. Hahahaha.

Gyral

This comic made me think of Neverwhere.

Dark Raven X

ogcam777

Until the last line of that story, I was pretty sure it was about EVE.

aerobeing

Gyral wrote:

This comic made me think of Neverwhere.

Thank you for mentioning that. It looks like an interesting series/book I never heard about.

Fearghaill

I can't shake the feeling that the Tale from the Trenches is talking about a Derek Smart/Battlecruiser 3000A.D. game.

Fearghaill

HMMMMMM

Henroid

Dark Raven X wrote:

Well executed.

erc

People who do QA for games sure do like to complain about their jobs. Running through tedious test cases in a crappy game is far less awful than running through tedious test cases in enterprise-level sales and use tax compliance software.

I have stories about the awful parts of my old job, but they're so boring that nobody would ever read them.

Fandeathis

aerobeing wrote:

Gyral wrote:

This comic made me think of Neverwhere.

Thank you for mentioning that. It looks like an interesting series/book I never heard about.

It is such a good book.

Hamju

Fearghaill wrote:

I can't shake the feeling that the Tale from the Trenches is talking about a Derek Smart/Battlecruiser 3000A.D. game.

Hush! If you say his name three times he'll appear!

North

Loved this one. The fourth panel punchline works fine but it is also good without it. Maybe I can't read the comic without hearing that last line in my head since I read that version first or maybe the look is punchline enough. We will never know.

Jacques L'Homme

Jasper wrote:

This is a breakthrough for Trenches. A funny comic. Please keep it up.

You need some patience, son.

Also, a healthy fear of doors is central to surviving in a busy office. It's for the best that Isaac learned this now.

Tube

erc wrote:

People who do QA for games sure do like to complain about their jobs. Running through tedious test cases in a crappy game is far less awful than running through tedious test cases in enterprise-level sales and use tax compliance software.

I have stories about the awful parts of my old job, but they're so boring that nobody would ever read them.

If there was a webcomic that posted stories from people who did QA for tax software, people who did QA for tax software would be queuing up to whine. The fact that there is not a place that posts stories about people who do QA for tax software is not a demonstration of the moral superiority of people who do QA for tax software.

Zazu Yen

This reminds me of one of the old Wizardry games, the original Proving Grounds of the Mad Overlord I think, which had part of a level that consisted largely of a grid of identical small square rooms with doors in each wall. The graphics and hud were such that you couldn't tell which room you were in let alone which direction you were facing (no automap or compas) and naturally some rooms contained spinners or teleporters which, unless you caught the tell-tale little 'blink' while it redrew the room, you didn't know had triggered and changed your facing/location. It was hell to map and, naturally, there was a chance for random encounters every time you stepped into a new room (and some tough encounters that weren't random but at least let you know where you were once you'd mapped them).

It was almost more annoying than the level which was nothing but a big grid of hallways in which every intersection was a pit trap, spinner or teleporter. Sigh, they don't make 'em like that any more (and there's a reason for that). I must have killed thousands of Murphy's Ghosts in that game just to grind up my level, almost like playing a MMO today.

VorpalK

I can't shake the feeling that the Tale from the Trenches is talking about a Derek Smart/Battlecruiser 3000A.D. game.

This. Immediately thought of Derek Smart.

PwnanObrien

Wikipedia wrote:

Before publisher Take-Two Interactive released Battlecruiser 3000AD in September 1996, it had generated one of the longest and largest flame wars in the history of Usenet.[19] This flamewar lasted for several years, garnered over 70,000 posts, and yielded a series of sites that documented and parodied its history.

In the grim dark year of 3000AD there is only flamewar.

Gaslight

Pfft. He only got through five hundred? Wimp.

jwalk

Athenor wrote:

Man, this sounds like a certain individual with the name D.S., except I don't thinkhis games were put through external QA, or cancelled for that matter.

That's DOCTOR D.S., please.

Actually I thought it was a game called "X3" up until that last line.. because that POS was actually published, and a few suckers actually paid real money dollars for it....

Gaslight

I only played X3 for a couple of hours before deciding that it was way more complex than I had time for, but in that couple hours I had no trouble destroying several enemy ships. From what I was able to tell and from what I have heard other people say, X3's problems have more to do with being staggeringly large and complicated and grindy while being almost totally without tutorials or documentation than they do with actual gameplay.

erc

Lewie P's Stepdad wrote:

blah blah blah... moral superiority... blah blah

Oh please. Moral superiority doesn't enter into it. I'm just saying that QA for almost any other type of software would not generate a single interesting story. Granted, that probably has more to do with what sounds like universally shitty working conditions and wages across the video game industry.

And I suppose that makes for a good story, in a "haha wow, I'd rather work at Pizza Hut for that kind of money" sort of way.

Gaslight

erc wrote:

Lewie P's Stepdad wrote:

blah blah blah... moral superiority... blah blah

Oh please. Moral superiority doesn't enter into it. I'm just saying that QA for almost any other type of software would not generate a single interesting story.

Fortunately, nobody is trying to do a webcomic about QA for other types of software.

So what exactly is your point?

LTM

Lewie P's Stepdad wrote:

The fact that there is not a place that posts stories about people who do QA for tax software is not a demonstration of the moral superiority of people who do QA for tax software.

Gaslight wrote:

Fortunately, nobody is trying to do a webcomic about QA for other types of software.

So what exactly is your point?

Just sayin'...

Also, seemingly, the stories are pretty much the same, I would guess. Just sub out the context-specific phrases.

Gaslight

Forgive me, I just don't see the purpose in one acting pouty about game QA testers telling interesting stories about their jobs when one acknowledges there are no interesting stories to tell about one's own job. Is this some sort of, "At least you people whining is entertaining, my job is just as terrible and also boring to talk about" thing? That's too bad for you, but being entertaining is sort of the goal here.

rabidmuskrat

I agree that the fourth panel would have been better without text.

jothki

The fourth panel text, or at least what it's conveying, does need to be in there somewhere. Maybe just squeeze it in the third panel, but the best thing to do would probably be rewriting the third panel completely to be more concise.

Zazu Yen

A story need not be amusing in itself in order to be told in an amusing way. For example I read a story about race wars, riots, murder, the people who were trying to end the years of bloodshed and the secrete factions on both sides who held the grudges dearly and would even kill their own kind and obscure the truth rather than see peace. That book was Thud by Terry Pratchett, and you will laugh reading it.

If the story is dull it is not necessarily the stories fault.

MuddBudd

erc wrote:

People who do QA for games sure do like to complain about their jobs. Running through tedious test cases in a crappy game is far less awful than running through tedious test cases in enterprise-level sales and use tax compliance software.

I have stories about the awful parts of my old job, but they're so boring that nobody would ever read them.

We also earn a whole lot less.

Juc

Gaslight wrote:

I only played X3 for a couple of hours before deciding that it was way more complex than I had time for, but in that couple hours I had no trouble destroying several enemy ships. From what I was able to tell and from what I have heard other people say, X3's problems have more to do with being staggeringly large and complicated and grindy while being almost totally without tutorials or documentation than they do with actual gameplay.

I'm mostly in the same boat. I started playing X3 and aborted almost immediately when I found that not only did I not know what to do, I couldn't find out how to do it without looking up instructions on the internet.

I promptly uninstalled and never looked back.

sadly I actually love space sims, this one was just simply crap.

LTM

Also, a day late, but X3 is pretty awesome if you don't mind looking everything up yourself, and spending whole evening doing nothing but complex construction and aimless wandering.

Also, letting the game play itself when you are away. Its like SETI@Home, only you actually find alien races.

erc

Gaslight wrote:

Forgive me, I just don't see the purpose in one acting pouty about game QA testers telling interesting stories about their jobs when one acknowledges there are no interesting stories to tell about one's own job. Is this some sort of, "At least you people whining is entertaining, my job is just as terrible and also boring to talk about" thing? That's too bad for you, but being entertaining is sort of the goal here.

I was just making an observation. QA / QA Engineers in the gaming industry seem to hate their jobs a lot. More than people in similar roles in other software industries, even though those roles are similarly boring and tedious.

jdhdp

I know a person whose real name is Brandon Cox. Just a random thought that I had.

kaliyama

Fearghaill wrote:

I can't shake the feeling that the Tale from the Trenches is talking about a Derek Smart/Battlecruiser 3000A.D. game.

I went to this thread to post the exact same thing. I think it's because he's the only guy I can think of that could plausibly make a space sim game where it is impossible to shoot anything down. No way to tell, though. Could have been an unknown trying to make it like a bad version of a Jane's game in space.

Zerocz

I also thought he was talking about X3 at first, and I actually like X3. There's a thread about it 'round here somewhere.

Anyway.

I'd like to know what it was that was being tested. B3000 is a tempting candidate, but wasn't it released as Universal Combat, or some such?