Let's Reveal Some Asses (ASSREV THREAD) [NSFTEMPLARS]

Kusuguttai

This is Ezio Auditore da Firenze

He's like Batman in the Renaissance. If Batman murdered everyone ever and stole money from poor people.

This is Altair Ibn La-Ahad

He's a middle eastern terrorist.

This is Constantinople:


It's called Istanbul now, so update your datebook

So you've been introduced to the major players. No one cares about Desmond. He can eat several dicks.
Assassin's Creed: Revelations came out today, and having played it for about an hour, I can say hookblades are awesome, Constantinople is rad, and fuck the templars.


People like Multiplayer in this game, so here's a list of people who play this game, with other people

XBox 360 Gamemachine:
Kusugattai (Kusuguttai)
A Tiny Dinosaur (Keith)
Mister Spaceman (Swordfights)

Playstation 3 blu-ray thing:
no one

Wii motion device:
This game isn't out on the Wii, are you retarded

Radius

Don't you mean Istanbul?

Kusuguttai

Radius wrote: »

Don't you mean Istanbul?

in 1511 it was apparently called Istanbul by the natives? That's what the assassin leader said to me.

Blake T

Obligatory.

Kusuguttai

I call them natives because the asshole assassin guy had the audacity to insult italian in front of me

YaYa

I was wondering when someone was gonna do this thread

I bought this along with Saints Row today but I've been too busy rowing Saints to play it yet

tomorrow I will get stuck in!

Kusuguttai

when did saints row become a game people cared about i wonder

YaYa

Kusu this is a serious question

have you seen anything about Saints Row 3

Blake T

Saints row is the stupid hot blonde gives everyone head.

I mean it's not the greatest moment of your life, but hey, it's pretty satisfying.

Ashcroft

Saint's Row is like all the best GTA stories about the shit you did outside of the missions, except that's the actual game, and the boring sociopath with a heart of gold story gets chucked on the fire.

YaYa

also there is literally a nut shot button

I thought people were kidding about that until I clicked in the right stick and just started giggling

Radius

Saint's Row 3 is definitely one spot above AssRev on my list.

Maybe because saying AssRev is nowhere near as fun as saying AssBro

Kusuguttai

i
you'd rather play some stupid saint's row game than be medieval batman?

did i step into bizarro world?

YaYa

I would rather play both

which is what I'm doing

sometimes a dude just wants to kick a dude in the crotch, Kusu

sometimes that is just what I need

VALVEjunkie

kusu stick this in the OP

VALVEjunkie

(it's the GB quick look)

Radius

Kusuguttai wrote:

i
you'd rather play some stupid saint's row game than be medieval batman?

did i step into bizarro world?

Kusu, I finished being actual Batman like last week. Medieval Batman can wait his turn in line.

Ashcroft

I have my rental copy of Ass Revel right here, but I'm not that up for playing it. It looks a bit naff, and it's getting average reviews. It looks like pumping out a game every year has caught up with them. And Skyrim is so good.

Kusuguttai

Radius wrote: »

Kusuguttai wrote:

i
you'd rather play some stupid saint's row game than be medieval batman?

did i step into bizarro world?

Kusu, I finished being actual Batman like last week. Medieval Batman can wait his turn in line.

that's dumb
evidence:
it's motherfuckin ezio

Kusuguttai

Ashcroft wrote: »

I have my rental copy of Ass Revel right here, but I'm not that up for playing it. It looks a bit naff, and it's getting average reviews. It looks like pumping out a game every year has caught up with them. And Skyrim is so good.

naff?
that's not a fucking word.

Kusuguttai

also
http://www.metacritic.com/game/playstation-3/assassins-creed-revelations/critic-reviews
80 on metacritic is faaaaaaar from average

Kusuguttai

10 points is now 'far' none of you can disagree ever

That Dave Fella

naff is a word!

That Dave Fella

i've got your back manny

Kusuguttai

oh its some irish thing
probably has to do with being poor and ginger and ravaged by alcohol and additional stereotype

Ashcroft

The high reviews are mainly from sites I've never heard of. The Edge and Eurogamer both gave it a 7, and those are the 2 sources I respect the most. Even if Eurogamer are total cowards with big releases, and will give almost anything an 8. The reviews themselves are honest though, and the review of Ass Revel reads like they wanted to give it a 5.

I still want to play it, and will, it just isn't doing a good job of tempting me away from Skyrim.

Ashcroft

Hey, I'm not ginger.

Oghulk

Picking this up this afternoon on the ps3: CrazyDemonBunny if all you PSNers wanna play

Blake T

Ashcroft wrote: »

The high reviews are mainly from sites I've never heard of. The Edge and Eurogamer both gave it a 7, and those are the 2 sources I respect the most. Even if Eurogamer are total cowards with big releases, and will give almost anything an 8. The reviews themselves are honest though, and the review of Ass Revel reads like they wanted to give it a 5.

I still want to play it, and will, it just isn't doing a good job of tempting me away from Skyrim.

Eurogamer has been a bit screwy with ratings lately.

They kinda dumped on Uncharted 3.

Pharezon

Blake T wrote:

Ashcroft wrote: »

The high reviews are mainly from sites I've never heard of. The Edge and Eurogamer both gave it a 7, and those are the 2 sources I respect the most. Even if Eurogamer are total cowards with big releases, and will give almost anything an 8. The reviews themselves are honest though, and the review of Ass Revel reads like they wanted to give it a 5.

I still want to play it, and will, it just isn't doing a good job of tempting me away from Skyrim.

Eurogamer has been a bit screwy with ratings lately.

They kinda dumped on Uncharted 3.

The reviewer had legitimate complaints with Uncharted 3. That's not dumping.

Blake T

Nope, sorry.

SyphonBlue

Blake T wrote:

Ashcroft wrote: »

The high reviews are mainly from sites I've never heard of. The Edge and Eurogamer both gave it a 7, and those are the 2 sources I respect the most. Even if Eurogamer are total cowards with big releases, and will give almost anything an 8. The reviews themselves are honest though, and the review of Ass Revel reads like they wanted to give it a 5.

I still want to play it, and will, it just isn't doing a good job of tempting me away from Skyrim.

Eurogamer has been a bit screwy with ratings lately.

They kinda dumped on Uncharted 3.

Ehh Uncharted 3 deserved what they gave it.

SimBen

According to Wikipedia, Turks always called Istanbul Istanbul, Constantinople was just what we western Christian white folk called it because we were all hey, this place belongs to us too and the Turks were like nuh-uh.

Then in the 1920s Turkey became its own country and they decided that this Constantinople shit would no longer fly so stop calling it that and apparently they stopped delivering mail addressed to Constantinople so the world fell in line pretty quick.

Blake T

Sim stop talking about it.

Did you not listen to the song?

It's nobodies business but the turks.

#pipe

Kusuguttai wrote:

when did saints row become a game people cared about i wonder

Kusuguttai wrote:

80 on metacritic is faaaaaaar from average

Blake T

ahahahaha

Blake T

Dad, you just went and got yourself burned.

#pipe

Saint's Row 2 is literally my favourite video game that doesn't involve plastic guitars.

SR3 is shaping up to be a prettier, sillier, slightly less customisable heir

KrunkMcGrunk

Gonna pick up my pre-order tonight, and promptly not pay attention to this game for a month because Skyrim has my soul.

KalTorak

thanks for reminding me that i never finished AssBro.

SimBen

I need to play those games at some point but there's always something that takes priority.

Like yesterday I went most of the way through Portal 1 and it was the first time.