Awesome: 'So my pregnant wife has cancer. Also smof's dad had a tu...' by joshofalltrades

joshofalltrades

  DisruptedCapitalist likes this Post written by joshofalltrades

about a year ago

"So THAT'S how the movies work!"

Visit

JoeUser wrote:

Munkus Beaver wrote:

PROTIP: Getting knocked out because of a blow to the head doesn't work like the movies. It's a concussion and it means serious brain damage the longer you are unconscious.

Are you telling me a second blow to the head won't cure amnesia?

If you forgot about the first blow, the second will surely remind you what it feels like.

SmokeStacks

This bothers me so much in movies and videogames.

I like how a lot of games will let you knock out guards/enemies/whatever to avoid lethality for a no kill run, but if you cold cock a guy in the skull with a blunt object and he's down for more than a couple of minutes, he's usually dead.

Those 35 guards you knocked out on your last mission to get an A ranking? 33 of them are dead, one of them is ok but suffers constant headaches, and one of them is a vegetable who eats through a tube now.

Sticks

Time to replace head bonks with nut shots followed by hog tying and gagging them.

Blake T

That'll never happen.

Do you not remember the hot coffee controversy?

Sticks

Yes, but apparently not fully.

What does a sex mini game in GTA have to do with punching dudes in the nads and then leaving the tied up in the closet so you can get into _______?

Ages

Usually the nut play happens *after* you tie them up.

Sticks

Man, I don't have time to get all handsy with the guards after tying them up. I HAVE A WORLD TO SAVE!

darleysam

SmokeStacks wrote:

This bothers me so much in movies and videogames.

I like how a lot of games will let you knock out guards/enemies/whatever to avoid lethality for a no kill run, but if you cold cock a guy in the skull with a blunt object and he's down for more than a couple of minutes, he's usually dead.

Those 35 guards you knocked out on your last mission to get an A ranking? 33 of them are dead, one of them is ok but suffers constant headaches, and one of them is a vegetable who eats through a tube now.

It's like, next they'll be pretending that a second injury can fix paralysis!

Spoiler:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/08/cycling-paralympian-cured-idUSL5E7N74MR20111208

(Reuters) - Paralympic silver medallist Monique van der Vorst has miraculously become an able-bodied Olympic hopeful after a crash reversed her paralysis.

Paralysed from the hip down since she was 13, the 27-year-old handcyclist, who has just signed with the Rabobank women's professional cycling team to compete as a top-class able-bodied athlete, was hit by a bicycle last year while training in her wheelchair for the 2012 London Paralympics.

While recovering from the trauma, van der Vorst's feet started to tingle and miraculously she began to move them again. From that point on she spent months in the hospital and in the rehabilitation centre trying to regain the use of her legs.

She told Reuters that when she took her first steps again in July 2010, she felt just like a child learning to walk.

"I wanted to jump in the air for joy," van der Vorst said this week, and recalled how great and surprising it was to look at herself standing in front of a mirror.

Doctors have no explanation for her amazing recovery. Some believe the trauma of her last accident may have jolted her body back into activity.

But the realities of her new-found joy also put an immediate end to a successful athletic career.

"Although walking is the best thing you could do in life, I immediately missed the sport, the people and the challenges," van der Vorst said.

Rehabilitation and physiotherapy with an athletic focus strengthened her and as soon as she sat on a bike she again wanted to give it a try.

"The spirit is in my body," she said.

Despite a near-crash the first time she cautiously climbed aboard a racing bicycle for able-bodied athletes, van der Vorst got back on her bike and carried on to complete a painful and slow 30 km training route and has not looked back since.

Although she is not on the same cycling level as the other women on the Rabobank cycling team, her willpower is enormous and the team is confident van der Vorst will quickly catch up.

When you consider van der Vorst won two silver medals at the 2008 Beijing Paralympics, was elected Dutch disabled athlete of the year in 2009, was the first handcycle athlete to win the 2009 Ironman world championship in Hawaii, her goal of riding in the 2016 Rio Olympics does not appear unrealistic.

override367

darleysam wrote:

SmokeStacks wrote:

This bothers me so much in movies and videogames.

I like how a lot of games will let you knock out guards/enemies/whatever to avoid lethality for a no kill run, but if you cold cock a guy in the skull with a blunt object and he's down for more than a couple of minutes, he's usually dead.

Those 35 guards you knocked out on your last mission to get an A ranking? 33 of them are dead, one of them is ok but suffers constant headaches, and one of them is a vegetable who eats through a tube now.

It's like, next they'll be pretending that a second injury can fix paralysis!

Spoiler:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/12/08/cycling-paralympian-cured-idUSL5E7N74MR20111208

(Reuters) - Paralympic silver medallist Monique van der Vorst has miraculously become an able-bodied Olympic hopeful after a crash reversed her paralysis.

Paralysed from the hip down since she was 13, the 27-year-old handcyclist, who has just signed with the Rabobank women's professional cycling team to compete as a top-class able-bodied athlete, was hit by a bicycle last year while training in her wheelchair for the 2012 London Paralympics.

While recovering from the trauma, van der Vorst's feet started to tingle and miraculously she began to move them again. From that point on she spent months in the hospital and in the rehabilitation centre trying to regain the use of her legs.

She told Reuters that when she took her first steps again in July 2010, she felt just like a child learning to walk.

"I wanted to jump in the air for joy," van der Vorst said this week, and recalled how great and surprising it was to look at herself standing in front of a mirror.

Doctors have no explanation for her amazing recovery. Some believe the trauma of her last accident may have jolted her body back into activity.

But the realities of her new-found joy also put an immediate end to a successful athletic career.

"Although walking is the best thing you could do in life, I immediately missed the sport, the people and the challenges," van der Vorst said.

Rehabilitation and physiotherapy with an athletic focus strengthened her and as soon as she sat on a bike she again wanted to give it a try.

"The spirit is in my body," she said.

Despite a near-crash the first time she cautiously climbed aboard a racing bicycle for able-bodied athletes, van der Vorst got back on her bike and carried on to complete a painful and slow 30 km training route and has not looked back since.

Although she is not on the same cycling level as the other women on the Rabobank cycling team, her willpower is enormous and the team is confident van der Vorst will quickly catch up.

When you consider van der Vorst won two silver medals at the 2008 Beijing Paralympics, was elected Dutch disabled athlete of the year in 2009, was the first handcycle athlete to win the 2009 Ironman world championship in Hawaii, her goal of riding in the 2016 Rio Olympics does not appear unrealistic.

I think there's an alternative medicine opportunity in this...

It's like homeopathy, but with physical injuries. Broken arm from getting hit by a car? Well the cure for that is just a dilution of being hit in the arm by a car.

SmokeStacks

You get gently tapped by a Hot Wheels car?

Pony

SmokeStacks wrote:

You get gently tapped by a Hot Wheels car?

well you put a hot wheels car in some water and shake that around for a while and then take that water and put it into other water and

god i get mad thinking about this shit

Echo

Pony wrote:

SmokeStacks wrote:

You get gently tapped by a Hot Wheels car?

well you put a hot wheels car in some water and shake that around for a while and then take that water and put it into other water and

god i get mad thinking about this shit

You're on to something here! I had these Hot Wheels cars that changed color when you "painted" on them by dipping your finger in warm water! That's clearly magic that should be harnessed for the good of mankind!

darleysam

Pony wrote:

SmokeStacks wrote:

You get gently tapped by a Hot Wheels car?

well you put a hot wheels car in some water and shake that around for a while and then take that water and put it into other water and

Pour it into a bottle and beat them round the head with it until they feel better.

TychoCelchuuu