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Arden's Artin' Thread

2

Posts

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Thanks for the advice Toji. I am back in front of my computer and now at home.
    Raaaa! I'm having trouble with this comic thing! I'm trying to listen to everyone's advice and draw every day which I think is going okay.
    Anyway, I was thinking about the setting for my comic, Hover, this morning and so far it was normal flat wild west deserts with a little bit of fantasy/steampunk/sci fi (not all at once!) something interesting thrown in in certain places. Like how the main cast can fly without wings, hence the "telekinesis in the old west" part I thought of a couple weeks ago.

    Well, my imagination didn't like that setting too much this morning and I doodled this up as an intro of sorts to a more fantastical world that I began constructing in my mind for my characters to live in. It would be a series of desert landscapes high above an ocean with a lot of cliffs/ rock formations. Where experimental aviation was capitalized upon. And where the main source of light at night are varieties of fireflies of different sizes.
    HTdi9.jpg
    I don't want this project to change every time I look at it like some others have in the past for me, but I really like this and where it's going. I'm afraid I'll change it again and never advance with a solid concept then get depressed about my lack of progress and stop all together - also like I have in the past with other projects.
    I am however getting better at pushing myself to draw every day, so yay for that.

  • earthwormadamearthwormadam Registered User regular
    I must say, that setting sounds rather neat!

    sig2.jpg
  • SaintElmosWireSaintElmosWire Registered User
    You've got some nice ideas starting up there for a setting but I'd watch out not to fall into the whole "The internet loves airships, steampunk, and cowboys" thing. Also you need to clean up your wording a bit for a smoother read. Also you would want to make a choice early on about how you want to tell your tale. For instance, saying 'towns lit up without any electricity' implies you are telling the story either from someone's perspective that knows what electricity is (even if it doesn't exist in your story world) or from a more omnipotent stand. There isn't anything wrong with it, it's just about being aware of the voice, if that makes sense.

    MvViV.jpg
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    Crappin hell bacon, whenever you explain something it seems like the simplest thing in the world. You should piece all of these into a book of case studies.
    Pretty well much every time you critique someone I take away 3 nuggets of art knowledge from it.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Thanks ewa!
    You've got some nice ideas starting up there for a setting but I'd watch out not to fall into the whole "The internet loves airships, steampunk, and cowboys" thing. Also you need to clean up your wording a bit for a smoother read. Also you would want to make a choice early on about how you want to tell your tale. For instance, saying 'towns lit up without any electricity' implies you are telling the story either from someone's perspective that knows what electricity is (even if it doesn't exist in your story world) or from a more omnipotent stand. There isn't anything wrong with it, it's just about being aware of the voice, if that makes sense.

    Hmmm I think I'm aware of the popularity of the airship, steampunk, and cowboy thing to an extent. Like, I will actively try to not copy my favorite series's characters and plots and fit them into my world. As for my wording, well, mostly all of the characters are going to speak in ya'lls cowboy English anyway. However I think I see what you mean cleaning up the sentences that are up there now. What you said about the voice does make sense and the way I have it on that page above is meant to be a more all knowing or observer from outside that world perspective.
    Maybe you could give an example of the first sentence where you said about the watching out for what the internet loves? Did you mean like cliches?

  • SaintElmosWireSaintElmosWire Registered User
    edited February 2012
    What you said about the voice does make sense and the way I have it on that page above is meant to be a more all knowing or observer from outside that world perspective.

    Cool so you have the all knowing narrator and then your individual characters existing in the world, that works fine.
    Maybe you could give an example of the first sentence where you said about the watching out for what the internet loves? Did you mean like cliches?

    What I was trying to say here was yeah sort of watch out for cliches. It might be just me, but I feel like the internet has an ongoing love affair with the airships and anachronisms. Not that they are bad in anyway, and they tend to be tied to some great art and some even greater stories - but you just have to make sure that when you go for it you look at it with fresh eyes. Really make it your own. Maybe just through something like the power source used in the world, or the way they chart the skies. Something that gives it it's own flare. (You might have all of these things for all I know though, depending on how you plan your stories!)

    I really like the idea of fireflies, and I think you could do some great visual stuff with them.

    SaintElmosWire on
    MvViV.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I tried to clean up the wording, well, in my opinion it reads better.
    I also tried to sketch the first panel with actual attempts at detail. Too many lines? Should I just clean it up a bit?
    YAt3z.jpg

  • SaintElmosWireSaintElmosWire Registered User
    Reads better already. For the lines you might want to try fewer lines with a bit of a variation on thickness and opacity. Though I sort of liked the silhouette nature of your first attempt at that panel. What are you drawing in by the way?

    MvViV.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    What are you drawing in by the way?

    Photoshop. It's not as easy as sketching it out in pencil, yet. But, as I draw more in Photoshop it's getting a lot closer to how I draw in pencil. And I like that feeling.
    I looked at the page I did yesterday and am much more satisfied with how this looks here now. It's with only a few minor changes to it, unlike the drastic ones I've made so far on page ones.
    07sAu.jpg
    This habit of drawing every day is really paying off, at least in my opinion. I need to really really move on from the start of this story/thing though. So, I'm not going to alter this page in any way. I will take critiques on it and I will note them down, but I'm leaving it as is and going onto page two.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    And here's page two! Why does it have a title and info above it? Because it seemed to fit there/I forgot to add it to page one. D:
    It's progress! Again I will take crits on this page, but I'm going to only keep them in mind for future updates and not change the current page (2).
    EQ3lU.jpg

  • SaintElmosWireSaintElmosWire Registered User
    edited February 2012
    I like the title up there and a little late. Since you're working at it each time, try adding a single extra layer of shadow. something like this.

    EQ3lU-02.jpg

    (Sorry for drawing onto your stuff I know that's obnoxious)

    Just as a quick way to start to add more depth.

    If you want to avoid that and stick more to the very simple layers and the cutout look, then start only using lines where totally necessarily. Letting the color difference draw them for you.

    Also You might want to give the text bubbles a color of their own, doesn't need to be bright or anything, something to make them stand out a little.

    SaintElmosWire on
    MvViV.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I like the title up there and a little late. Since you're working at it each time, try adding a single extra layer of shadow. something like this.

    snip

    (Sorry for drawing onto your stuff I know that's obnoxious)
    Just as a quick way to start to add more depth.
    If you want to avoid that and stick more to the very simple layers and the cutout look, then start only using lines where totally necessarily. Letting the color difference draw them for you.
    Also You might want to give the text bubbles a color of their own, doesn't need to be bright or anything, something to make them stand out a little.

    Well dang, that looks way better with the shadows than without. I think I'll go ahead and go with that for the future pages. Thanks SEW.

  • earthwormadamearthwormadam Registered User regular
    I like it but some of the panels feel placeholdery. Mainly the first second, and third ones. It kinda hurts the page that the first 3 panels are the weakest IMO.

    Also, I find the setting kinda neat, but I want to know more about it, and in the 3rd panel where you can't read any of the signs is a downer. If you want people to really get into the setting you're gonna havta sweat the details a lot more. You are world building, so really get in there and give readers a setting to believe in.

    I think panels 5 and 6 are the most effective, a few of the other panels seemed clunky, dialog wise. Panel 4 seems awkward and I think it would be more effective if it just read "when you turn 21 you're given a six shooter, no bullets". Simplicity is a good thing, art wise and word wise.

    As it is, I think you could do a better job of selling the lightning bugs as a light source thing. They're not really shown as a light-source and I think it isn't immediately obvious. Also, you'll prob wanna reference some real lightning bugs because the insects as they are look more like happy bees.

    sig2.jpg
  • SaintElmosWireSaintElmosWire Registered User
    Also, I find the setting kinda neat, but I want to know more about it, and in the 3rd panel where you can't read any of the signs is a downer. If you want people to really get into the setting you're gonna havta sweat the details a lot more. You are world building, so really get in there and give readers a setting to believe in.

    This is a really good point. When your setting is new and unknown it's many of the little details that really help people come to grips with it and feel at home.

    MvViV.jpg
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    I like this. The premise is interesting, and you've left out enough information to make me curious :) I'll be back!

    If I may comment about the text. A few lines could be worded more efficiently to add a more refined feel.
    "..without any electricity."
    "without electricity."

    "And a time when a golden age of air travel was just getting started"
    "At the (cusp/beginning/start) of the golden age of air travel.

    or even what you had in the demo page "And a golden age of air travel." That seemed a lot more mysterious and evocative to me.

    Those 2 lines are the only one's I have anything to say about. It's just something to keep in mind in the future :)

    ninjai on
    Mice scratching at the walls inside of your head.
    This is a warning that my sig was too tall.
    You could have sent me a PM or something.
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    @EWA - I agree with all your points. I plan to have more world introduction in the first tale/chapter, but will push it up to the next few pages. They totally look like happy bees and I will make them not look like that in the future.

    @ninjai - thanks for the comments! I also agree about the word trimming.

    You've given me some great crits so far guys. I think I can update with 3 pages a week like the standard MWF thing since I have large amounts of free time. We'll see!

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    I have...not set aside much time to work on this in the past few days. Here's page 3 with the words and doodles. I keep telling myself I'll finish it this week.
    EDIT - in the first panel there's supposed to be the gun from page 2 of course :p
    AJjpu.jpg

    Arden Canelo on
  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    Kind of a cool idea man. I wasn't sold at first but the more I see the more interesting it gets.

    Mice scratching at the walls inside of your head.
    This is a warning that my sig was too tall.
    You could have sent me a PM or something.
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    ninjai wrote:
    Kind of a cool idea man. I wasn't sold at first but the more I see the more interesting it gets.
    Well, I'm glad someone likes it :D

    Oh goddd this page is taking forever/ why did I decide to do a city cut-a-way scene on page 3. I hope I can get this done by Sunday/Monday. D:
    Bl0tT.jpg

  • lizard eats flieslizard eats flies Registered User regular
    I'm liking the world building here. Clearly you have some really cool ideas about how your world works, but I feel like you are starting to drift a bit too much into the "telling instead of showing" problem. We can learn about the world through how your characters interact with it, so you don't necessarily need to tell us everything upfront.

  • SaintElmosWireSaintElmosWire Registered User
    That fist panel would be really awesome if it was a perspective shot up the barrel to the holder. Just my 2 cents :D

    MvViV.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I'm liking the world building here. Clearly you have some really cool ideas about how your world works, but I feel like you are starting to drift a bit too much into the "telling instead of showing" problem. We can learn about the world through how your characters interact with it, so you don't necessarily need to tell us everything upfront.

    Oh, I plan to go into some action within the next few pages and not really describe the world heavily like on this page. I know a good story needs more than just a way to pull you into that reality. I just did it on this page because a couple people said I needed more world buildy stuff and I agreed with it. This comic is more of a way to get me to draw more often and a learning experience. I plan to make a lotttt of mistakes and learn from them as I go :D

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    So, I got a bit of a social life with this new friend = hey I'm out doing things and get home and I'm tired so I don't draw - plus I've sort of lost interest in this project. I think I'm going to just try and draw every day and post in this thread some doodles or something. Sorry for anyone who was interested in this comic thing. :cry:

  • ninjaininjai Registered User regular
    bleh

    Mice scratching at the walls inside of your head.
    This is a warning that my sig was too tall.
    You could have sent me a PM or something.
  • SaintElmosWireSaintElmosWire Registered User
    So, I got a bit of a social life with this new friend = hey I'm out doing things and get home and I'm tired so I don't draw - plus I've sort of lost interest in this project. I think I'm going to just try and draw every day and post in this thread some doodles or something. Sorry for anyone who was interested in this comic thing. :cry:

    Nothing better than some just drawing :)

    MvViV.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Oh justa drawin' some piratess lady with a dragon for an arm. :whistle:
    RVjKV.jpg

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Maaaybe shoulda made the eyes darker in this one.
    AJLjD.jpg

  • squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    You have some good ideas, Arden, and there's real improvement evident in your drawing. Keep working at it. :^:

    banner200x40.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    squidbunny wrote:
    You have some good ideas, Arden, and there's real improvement evident in your drawing. Keep working at it. :^:
    Yay for feeling encouraged. Also thanks.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Quick planet concept thing.
    haTCp.jpg

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Character sketch idea for a supernatural buddy cop comic thing where one's a wild and crazy female chimera born from magic and her right arm is a ultra logical high-tech robot dragon. They're paranormal investigators who're polar opposites, but they must set aside their differences and solve mysteries as they come.
    ykHXy.jpg
    I haven't been posting because I've been feeling really insecure/depressed about my ideas and art and fear negative criticism. I've also been drawing nearly everyday and studying anatomy some more - so that's positive.
    But hey! I should post regardless because feedback is a healthy part of art development right?

  • NicNic Registered User regular
    That... actually sounds pretty awesome.
    Man, your ideas... I don't even know where you find the inspiration for them, but their sheer strangeness is filled with a lot of potential.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Nic wrote: »
    That... actually sounds pretty awesome.
    Man, your ideas... I don't even know where you find the inspiration for them, but their sheer strangeness is filled with a lot of potential.

    I think it sounds pretty awesome too! Thanks! I get inspired by so many things I'm not sure I can feasibly make a list.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Here's some more character development for Scarlet & Scales (supernatural buddy cop oh wait I just said that today), the girl I posted just above. I actually experimented with a different style for once and drew her in a more cartoonish way too. I want the woman or girl, Scarlet, to be all wild curves and instinct and Scales, the robot to be all straight lines and logic.
    BZD7o.jpg
    mSPx0.jpg

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Working with the idea of more mage/wizard like clothing. I'm thinking maybe she should wear some kind of embroidered trench coat to evoke the investigator feel, but looks magical too. I'm not sure if I'm going to draw her human again because I really like the contrast of animal and machine rather than human and machine. Also her collar thing is meant to look like she always has a crazy grin, but I'm not sure if it gives that away effectively yet. Oh and her bag purse thing is a Bag of Holding, a decidedly magical item in contrast to Scales's tech.
    1eUJg.jpg

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Adding some greys this time. Also gettin a little Black Mage-ish. Any thoughts? Do I do character design okay? I also think her solid black hair looks like octopus tentacles so it adds to her mystery/occult factor. And the pointy diamond shape of her hat/collar is meant to offset her overly round midsection. Ah! I forgot her happy snake tail. Well, maybe that hides below her robe. I also left out the goat horns thinking that they maybe would be better hidden by the hat? Which version do you guys like best so far?
    jN8yK.jpg
    The inspiration for this character is a classic Greek mythological creature the Chimera. I took off the wings thinking that might be too much detail. I guess Scarlet could have goat legs instead of the lion paws/feet I gave her. The dragon head is meant to be Scales' neck and head and Scarlet's right arm.
    PnuEe.jpg

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I think I'm done with this character. In my opinion I've made her sufficiently strange and magical looking in contrast to her right arm of high technology. I'd say she looks like a wild animal/female that practices magic of some kind and has tons of mystery surrounding her. I think the right mecha arm could use some depth, but it's probably the angle I'm drawing some of it at. Sloppiness in drawing aside I would like some opinions from you fine people.
    Soq2J.jpg

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Oh and here's a layered composition of all the sketches I've done for this character. Hahaha, this is the most I've ever posted on this board in a row, but I'm sure it's because it's all rough sketchy stuff. WOoooooo.
    TwVEw.jpg

    Arden Canelo on
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    These are fun, arden!

    I think you should really push yourself to insert studies into these concepts you are doing, animal anatomy and human anatomy and such. Really pay attention to how you are setting up your drawing and where you are putting down your structure lines. Also, try and be more confident with laying down your lines. A smooth curve can do a lot for weight and volume, and your lines tend to be either oddly geometric, Jagged and rough or lacking any variation in weight. I'd recommend some pen and paper practice to help.

    You might also benefit from doing some very mundane shape studies. Like, cube, sphere, cylinder, and render them with light. It sounds dumb, but if you can make a believable box, you are well on your way to being able to draw anything.

    lma_iphone_icon.pngAA_iphone_icon.pngtwittersolid.pngtumbrsolid.png
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Thanks Iruka! Studying anatomy studies seems like the next logical step in refining this character so I will do that post hastily. About my linework - I often find myself reminding myself about the fundamentals of line width variation and cleanliness, but since these are rough ideas I tend to not to care as much about the principles. Perhaps I should!

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