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Arden's Artin' Thread

Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
edited March 2012 in Artist's Corner
xmascardcutething.jpg
So yeah, I need to look at ref for a bow and maybe look at some more apples. Other than that I'm sure there are anatomy mistakes or something I'm missing that you guys can point out. Also hello again PA:AC, how's you guys been doin'.

Arden Canelo on
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Posts

  • squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    Hello again Arden! Option 1 probably conveys cute most effectively!

    banner200x40.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    squidbunny wrote:
    Hello again Arden! Option 1 probably conveys cute most effectively!
    Thanks S'bunny. I actually ordered a new tablet pen (lost my old one) in the mail and got it just in time to make this for my family as my gift. (Cause I gots no money). ((Haha, I bought Skyrim a few weeks ago. I'm so bad :( )) I know that they would want some of my art more anyway. But I digress. Does anyone else have C&C about this drawing?

  • KochikensKochikens Lovely-Cuddle-Blanket-Stephen-Fry-Awesomer Registered User regular
    I'd be really careful with the hand on the stem, maybe have him grab onto the leaf instead? Or lower down on the stem? Maybe his foot hooked into the ribbon around the apple? It's super cute.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Kochikens wrote:
    I'd be really careful with the hand on the stem, maybe have him grab onto the leaf instead? Or lower down on the stem? Maybe his foot hooked into the ribbon around the apple? It's super cute.
    Thanks Kochi. I see what you mean I think about the mouse guy's right arm. Like it's not being in the right position to grab the stem? It looks like a weird angle/ his arm's not long enough or something when I look at it now. I'll try what you said and post some later. I'll also try the foot in the ribbon idea.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Lines update -
    xmascardcutething-1.jpg
    Color ideas
    xmascardcutethingcolor.jpg

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I'd like some more crits and such, but it's kinda due today for the giving of merriment and the receiving of the monies. I might turn this thread into a general post thread for me if I feel so inclined.
    xmascarddone.jpg

  • m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    What's up with the red outline on some of the places (like the cheeks)? I'd just keep all lines black if most of them already are.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    m3nace wrote:
    What's up with the red outline on some of the places (like the cheeks)? I'd just keep all lines black if most of them already are.

    I was trying to make like a lighting effect by doing that? I thought it looked okay, so maybe I should change it back if it looks weird.

  • m3nacem3nace Registered User regular
    Well, lighting effects always look kind of weird when they're not really in an environment for it. It's just, there's no light source there than the white background and the apple's highlights are also completely white. So if there was a light source it would also illuminate the apple.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    m3nace wrote:
    Well, lighting effects always look kind of weird when they're not really in an environment for it. It's just, there's no light source there than the white background and the apple's highlights are also completely white. So if there was a light source it would also illuminate the apple.

    I'll keep that in mind next time I do a drawing like this. Thanks m3nace.

  • NappuccinoNappuccino Registered User regular
    Kochikens wrote:
    I'd be really careful with the hand on the stem, maybe have him grab onto the leaf instead? Or lower down on the stem? Maybe his foot hooked into the ribbon around the apple? It's super cute.
    Thanks Kochi. I see what you mean I think about the mouse guy's right arm. Like it's not being in the right position to grab the stem? It looks like a weird angle/ his arm's not long enough or something when I look at it now. I'll try what you said and post some later. I'll also try the foot in the ribbon idea.

    I think she pointed it out because it looks somewhat... sexual, even if totally unintended.

    Like to write? Want to get e-published? Give us a look-see at http://wednesdaynightwrites.com/
    Spoiler:
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I... what. Sexual? Like he's grabbing the apple's dick or something? I don't really see your observation as a problem, Nappuccino.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    edited January 2012
    So I've been depressed this start of 2012 and I convinced myself I needed a project to get myself back to feeling average. I thought I might do a Minecraft comic since I like the game and have lots of ideas for it that could go into comic pages. Here's what I thought of for a first page idea thing.
    I know at least some of you play Minecraft or know of it. What do you guys think so far? The story is loosely formed in my head about a guy and his adventures and the wackiness there in. EDIT - replaced the blue lines with black for sake of clarity.

    This is also of course a rough unfinished page but youuuuu know that.

    BbBpage1-1.jpg

    Arden Canelo on
  • amateurhouramateurhour Registered User regular
    I think, based on the one piece of art I've seen, that you're pretty talented with character design and should do something besides a minecraft comic, mainly because in two years a lot of people aren't going to know what the hell minecraft is. (okay, that's a stretch, but it is a niche thing to base a comic on)

    I like the comic though, and the premise, but you've got skill, why not use it and make a comic with more descriptive characters?

    Here's what I do...
    The Vac - My Science Fiction Epic
    Fortune Pancakes - My Gag-A-Day Comic
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I think, based on the one piece of art I've seen, that you're pretty talented with character design and should do something besides a minecraft comic, mainly because in two years a lot of people aren't going to know what the hell minecraft is. (okay, that's a stretch, but it is a niche thing to base a comic on)

    I like the comic though, and the premise, but you've got skill, why not use it and make a comic with more descriptive characters?

    Well I liked using the Minecraft-eque world as a base to play with. I understand your concern that it's too niche. I also liked drawing in the blocky style. I've started and stopped about 4-5 comics now, I like doing them, but never get passed about 2-3 pages in any.

    I need to draw something that has simple, easy to draw characters - have it not be a joke a day strip comic - and I think I can do the rest well. I like the whole building blocks lego thing too. Maybe I'm just typing this to myself to see it written. Thanks for your comment!

  • amateurhouramateurhour Registered User regular
    There's a guy out there who has a site called minion comics that does like four or five different comic strips.... One is about a space prison, one's about being a henchman, one's a harry potter spoof. Basically he's like you, he does like 4-5 pages of a comic and then shifts ideas so he just does 4 or 5 comics and updates when he decides to continue the story : ) It's not the best business model but it's really interesting to read.

    Either way, a minecraft comic would be entertaining if done right. Good luck whichever road you go down. Also I hope the Christmas card was well received.

    Here's what I do...
    The Vac - My Science Fiction Epic
    Fortune Pancakes - My Gag-A-Day Comic
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    I'd recommend making a chapter of something and seeing it to completion. make the layout for a story arc, even if its just like 15 pages, and commit. Having a bunch of ideas is great, but practicing finishing is as important as practicing anything else. Make the stories shorter until you can commit to something longer.

    You can tell more than a joke in just a page, for example copper is a very mood oriented comic with pretty condensed stories. Doing little story arcs and doing fundamental studies in between would be a good way to move forward, But its just a suggestion. I just caution against not finishing comics and letting that become a deep rooted habit.

    lma_iphone_icon.pngAA_iphone_icon.pngtwittersolid.pngtumbrsolid.png
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Thanks for the comments Iruka. I rethought an old idea of mine and I'm going to do 5 pages before I post it this time. We'll see how that turns out.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    edited January 2012
    So yeah, playin' around with a western-ish idea about telekinesis and its doin's in the old west.
    What do you guys think of it? Too simple? Not good enough silhouettes? I want to stay close to something like this in terms of style.
    3QV6n.jpg

    Arden Canelo on
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Five plus hours and no comments, wooooo!
    I tried changing some things like adding detail to the red parts in the second panel and putting an iris in the eye (and freckles). I'm not sure where to go from here so, I'd really like some advice guys.
    T4Eij.jpg

  • earthwormadamearthwormadam Registered User regular
    I like it!

    I'd like to see it push more stylistic boundaries though. I really like the last 3 panels, design-wise. The first two are a little too cut and dry. The hair could be a lot more expressive, and would pretty much extenuate any movement she makes.

    sig2.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I like it!

    I'd like to see it push more stylistic boundaries though. I really like the last 3 panels, design-wise. The first two are a little too cut and dry. The hair could be a lot more expressive, and would pretty much extenuate any movement she makes.

    Thanks for the comments earthwormadam!
    Now that you mention it, I like the last 3 panels more too. I want the first two to be more stylistic like you said so here is what I'm trying to portray in each one.
    Panel one needs to be an establishing shot of some kind showing the woman looking at a small dessert town.
    Panel two has the same woman looking at a note with kind of a blank stare.
    I know a few things about angles of approach so I'll see what I can try and come up with.

  • EshEsh Sunshine! Kittens! Rainbows! Smiles! Portland, ORRegistered User regular
    What font is that?

    "At first he thought it might be a natural occurrence - maybe a rabbit. But upon closer inspection, it was clear a knife had been used. And rabbits don't carry knives."
  • earthwormadamearthwormadam Registered User regular
    I would try to emphasize the movement of the hair, and incorporate that into the environment. Like in the first panel, the wind could be whipping the hair and blowing some tumbleweed around.

    I like the second panel, but not enough going on in the background, add some elements! Also I really like that third panel in particular, but you should add some rock details into the cliff area, and add some clouds into the sky. I'm enjoying the minimalist thing you have going, but feel like you could add just a few more small touches here and there for impact.

    sig2.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Esh wrote:
    What font is that?

    It's called Creative Block - got it from Blambot fonts.
    I would try to emphasize the movement of the hair, and incorporate that into the environment. Like in the first panel, the wind could be whipping the hair and blowing some tumbleweed around.

    I like the second panel, but not enough going on in the background, add some elements! Also I really like that third panel in particular, but you should add some rock details into the cliff area, and add some clouds into the sky. I'm enjoying the minimalist thing you have going, but feel like you could add just a few more small touches here and there for impact.

    Well she's standing on a cliff so I don't know about tumbleweeds bein' up there. I redid the second panel because I agreed the previous second panel was too dull. I added the rock crackles and I think they do help with the cliffiness. Clouds? I was having it be a blue sky day (white in this case) soooo no clouds. I do understand your need for small touches though, I've been trying to figure it out all night.
    pQwT1.jpg

  • earthwormadamearthwormadam Registered User regular
    I think I like the old second panel betterrrr, if the paper was more prominent, it would be more obvious what she's looking at. Looks like it could be a straw or blade of grass. I like the composition of the old one better though.

    sig2.jpg
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I think I like the old second panel betterrrr, if the paper was more prominent, it would be more obvious what she's looking at. Looks like it could be a straw or blade of grass. I like the composition of the old one better though.

    Okay then. I added some wind lines in the second panel because the hair is blowing in the first panel? Makes sense to me. I think that about does it for the first page unless someone else has a quibble.
    Fm02H.jpg

  • squidbunnysquidbunny Registered User regular
    I think this is my favorite project from you, Arden, but of course I have a certain partiality to red-headed western heroines.

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  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    squidbunny wrote:
    I think this is my favorite project from you, Arden, but of course I have a certain partiality to red-headed western heroines.
    Well, squids, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't partially inspired by your work.
    ;-)

  • earthwormadamearthwormadam Registered User regular
    I like the thicker borders on those panels, you should try to make sure that they're closed squares and don't have little parts that stick out past where they're supposed to be.

    I can barely make out those clouds those lines are so skinny! Paper looks much better! Those wind lines look pretty hapdash, try to take some more time with the details, sweat the small stuff. /nitpickin'

    sig2.jpg
  • rtsrts Registered User regular
    It doesn't feel so much like a clever design choice as an effort to hide bad drawing. Something like this can absolutely work, though I think it would get pretty annoying on the eyes to read after a few minutes. But because it is so scarce, what little information you do give people needs to be really satisfying... making solid drawing even more important if anything I think.

    skype: rtschutter
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    I like the thicker borders on those panels, you should try to make sure that they're closed squares and don't have little parts that stick out past where they're supposed to be.

    I can barely make out those clouds those lines are so skinny! Paper looks much better! Those wind lines look pretty hapdash, try to take some more time with the details, sweat the small stuff. /nitpickin'

    I'll try to fine tune my techniques more in the future ewa, thanks.
    cakemikz wrote:
    It doesn't feel so much like a clever design choice as an effort to hide bad drawing. Something like this can absolutely work, though I think it would get pretty annoying on the eyes to read after a few minutes. But because it is so scarce, what little information you do give people needs to be really satisfying... making solid drawing even more important if anything I think.

    Okay, you're right cake, I can't draw very good and I did it in this style to cover up that fact for the most part. I also thought that a flat style like this might look interesting, but I guess I was just being lazy. I guess I'll go back and redraw the first page with this in mind. Thanks for being honest.

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    So, I spent a couple more hours trying new things and came up with this. I added grey for shadows and more detail which hopefully makes things look better overall. I want to keep some things as flat shapes,but not all. Better? Worse? More problems than some kind of problem guy?
    CWJZD.jpg

  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    I feel bad because this is going to be a bit of a kick in the pants, but that actually makes it kinda worse- because it just takes what was falling short with the first idea, and simply gives those shortcomings more opportunities for them to show themselves. I'm not going to recommend one way or another which way to go with the comic, because the problems with both of them are the same, and have the same solution.

    The major problems before were the composition and shape design, not the lack of detail. Unfortunately, those are more difficult concepts to wrap your head around than "well I'll just add some shading and some rock cracks in there".

    A good place to see what I mean with shape design is looking at what you've done with the rocks in the latest iteration- Every rock has cracks or bumps somewhat evenly spaced, following a roughly similar pattern of jankiness. But what creates interest in a picture is not similarities, but contrast. Big rock vs little rock. Rough rock vs smooth rock. Thick vs thin. Tall vs short. Look at the clouds you've got- all similar shapes and similar sizes. With a big one and a small one you can establish distance with perspective; the similar clouds don't add much.

    Then there's the composition- too many of these panels put the subject too close to the center, and subsequently kinda boring. The rule of thirds doesn't always give you strikingly original compositions, (if you don't know what the rule of thirds is, it's splitting the picture evenly into 3 vertical sections and 3 horizontal sections, and placing your most important elements on the 4 central intersections), but it's a solid enough guideline that you should give it some thought when composing your panels.

    Now, I did a paintover to try to show what I'm on about with some of this stuff, since just talking about it is really not up to the task- paintover's on top to show you how I might approach these problems, notes down below to explain the logic.

    arden_comic_1.jpgarden_comic_2.jpg

  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Oh man, Bacon, that's the best kick in the pants ever. You're one of the reasons I come to this forum. I think I'll make it a point to study your paintover often.
    Thanks.

  • Angel_of_BaconAngel_of_Bacon Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited January 2012
    :) Glad to help.

    Although, you might want to pick up a book on composition (like Framed Ink or Film Directing: Shot by Shot) rather than relying too much on a single paintover as a source of study.

    Angel_of_Bacon on
  • rtsrts Registered User regular
    Now there's a comic I would read!

    skype: rtschutter
  • Arden CaneloArden Canelo Registered User regular
    Hey guys. I'm on page two and have the ideas for page 3 and forward, but nothing I want to share because it's all just doodles still. I'm also going out of town until the end of the month to go to a friend's in New Orleans and go to a con there. Soooooo I'll try to sketch a lot more pages when I'm gone this week and get them photoshoped once I'm back!

  • MaydayMayday made up his mind Registered User regular
    Goddamnit, I just came here and I gotta say, that paintover just got saved.

    logo-60px.gif GFX | MINIS | PRV
  • Toji SuzuharaToji Suzuhara Southern CaliforniaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2012
    Another thing to watch out for is using too many lines when the art is about shapes. The problem still persists in Bacon's paintover in panels 1 and 2. The "horizon" would be better if it were defined by "lack of rock formation" instead of line, and the outline of the paper. They're visually intrusive. The third take of the second panel you had, Arden, with the paper in front of her face fits the visual look the best because it lets the shapes define the paper without having to lean on lines as a crutch. It's not the best composition, though.

    Toji Suzuhara on
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