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Awesome: 'Skyrim - Dr. Dovahkiin or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and L...' by Seriously
I finished the mara quests!
I had been putting the last thing off because it seemed boring but I was sick of getting quest notifications every time I did something with the amulet so I decided to buckle down and get it done. I check my map and was pleasantly surprised to see the quest marker located exactly at some landmark I'd already found randomly exploring, and I quick-travel there
I am feeling pretty impatient about getting this done, so once I get there instead of briefly scouting the area to make sure it's all clear I just set down a dremora lord, and go off to talk this ghost, figuring even if some random wolves or bandits do show up while I was trapped in conversation that would be more than enough to keep them off my back
as expected, while whatserface was nattering on about who cares battle music cues up and my dremora calls out a challenge to an unseen enemy. Now, I don't want to cancel out of the conversation because I don't know that this glitch-ass game will let me pick it up again and I don't feel like reloading so I'm turning my head as far as it will go and listening for the tell-tale sounds of carnage that will let me identify how just badly I am exposed. Because I am trapped I can't turn my head far enough to see whatever it is but I'm not too worried because my super-best friend Mr. Mark Inaz has my back...but it is kind of odd how I still don't hear anything
no yelling, roaring, nothing
suddenly there is a shudder, as if something massive has just flown by overhead
At this point I'm zipping though this conversation as quickly as I can but the dead lady won't shut up about her poor dead whoever and give me an objective. There's a dialogue option at one point but I don't even see what it says but apparently is was the wrong fucking one because now she's blessing me out about something and oh my god shut the fuck up
now at this point in the game I am seeing three kinds of dragons, frost dragons, blood dragons and your basic garden dragon and I'm well enough equipped to be fairly confident that even if the worst should happen I could weather a blast of dragon breath long enough to reach the end of this fucking quest set-up and engage it properly. I am just reassuring myself of this when the thing finally alights, off to the side but still in my field of vision, and I manage to turn my head far enough to finally get a read on what this is
E L D E R D R A G O N
oh, fuck me
at this point I know I am dead, and because of my hubris deservedly so
I watch as the elder dragon, my death, looks at me. I am clad in a magnificent hand-made set of armor.
I watch as it looks at the ghost. Her spectral raiments look dirty and tattered, clearly she had been some sort of peasant
and it blasts
and it snaps
As this ancient and terrible scourge of mankind, obviously entranced, strikes again and again, the ghost, utterly oblivious, keeps going on about her long-lost lover and finally, finally, finally we have reached the end and I am free to engage the dragon
who never takes his eyes off the ghost of the poor peasant girl, even as I slowly fill it full of spectral arrows
and that is the story of my first encounter with an elder dragon, but I know better than to take credit
it was love that killed the beast