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Hitman 2 is a shitty, stupid game for retards

TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
edited February 2012 in Games and Technology
It's common knowledge that Hitman 2 is the worst game of all time and that anyone who likes it is mentally crippled. For Child's Play this year, I'm auctioning off the ability to force me to do a let's play of this un-fucking-believably shithouse violation of every principle of design ever conceived. It's a pool bid, and every 100 dollars raised forces me to play another level of this turd. You'll notice that below it is a pool that forces me to raise the difficulty level, making it take longer. So you know. Enjoy that.

www.solidsaints.com/pools

Ramius on
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Posts

  • RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    will this lp be voiced or subtitled

  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    Voiced

    If you'd like an anime thread, please PM me to discuss it. Include pics/video of your favorites.
  • PharezonPharezon Struggle is an illusion. Victory is in the Qun.Registered User regular
    Hahahahahahahahahahaha

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  • surrealitychecksurrealitycheck you must go on i cant go on ill go onRegistered User regular
    will there be a webcam of you in the corner

    with clothing being lost every time you die or one item per $1000 donated

    obF2Wuw.png
  • BeastehBeasteh THAT WOULD NOT KILL DRACULARegistered User regular
  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    yeah, i'll donate. where do you want the money? is this the hitman with the bullshit ninja snipers who can see you though a blizzard and every creaking floorboard you step on? you'll fucking burst a blood vessel, tube. take your meds

  • RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    aight ill watch this and break my internal rule of "no watchin pa lps"

    surreality you have the best ideas

  • NuzakNuzak Registered User regular
    i honestly think an LP of a game from a guy who loves his hitman and knows his hitman and plays a lot of blood money could be super interesting, i hope you include lots of technical points on where the design sucks!

  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    Link is in the OP. And yes, it's the one with the fucking Japan level with the creaky floorboards and ninja bullshit snipers. This is also the Hitman game where you can't use the run key. Ever.

    If you'd like an anime thread, please PM me to discuss it. Include pics/video of your favorites.
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    Ah, and the circle is complete. :)

    Good times, good times. I think I'm overdue for another play through myself, since I finished Contracts months ago.

    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    tube you might wanna make your link a hyperlink just sayin dogg

  • evilthecatevilthecat Registered User regular
    Link is in the OP. And yes, it's the one with the fucking Japan level with the creaky floorboards and ninja bullshit snipers. This is also the Hitman game where you can't use the run key. Ever.

    just wear a disguise, geez.

    tip.. tip.. TALLY.. HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  • Rorus RazRorus Raz Waste Not, Waant Not Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    This thread reminds me that I need to install Blood Money on my new PC.

    So, was Hitman 2 developed by a different crew or something?

    0SZEg7b.png
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Rorus Raz wrote:
    This thread reminds me that I need to install Blood Money on my new PC.

    So, was Hitman 2 developed by a different crew or something?

    Nope. Same people. Unless they're hiding the fact to piss off Tube.

    Then again, these are the people who made Hitman: Codename 47 (also known as Hitman 1: Something happened somewhere, so this level be unfinishable yo), so it's not that surprising.

    Synthesis on
    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    Silent Assassin was the name of the second one. Also the first game was brilliant. Also fuck you I hope you go blind.

    If you'd like an anime thread, please PM me to discuss it. Include pics/video of your favorites.
  • surrealitychecksurrealitycheck you must go on i cant go on ill go onRegistered User regular
    tube thats mean

    where is the love

    obF2Wuw.png
  • HonkHonk Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    Haha yessssss

  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    So it was. Good times. Dressing 47 up as a Chinese triad never gets old. :)
    tube thats mean

    where is the love

    Surreality, why do you think he's playing Hitman 2? ;)

    Synthesis on
    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • CantidoCantido Registered User regular
    I hear in Hitman 2, 47 can't use stealth so he just kills the entire nation of Japan!

    steam_sig.png
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    You can totally use stealth, but the grievous crime is this: if you try and use a katana, he swings it like he's using a golf club or a floor lamp.

    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • HonkHonk Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    What I remember is playing this and somehow an alarm goes off for some reason, but then you notice that you can just run around and shoot and you win instantly.

  • Big ClassyBig Classy Registered User regular
    Ohmygod. This is big. BIG! I'm gonna have to borrow money from people to donate to this but dammit, I wanna be a part of the group that made Tube play Hitman 2, a great game in my mind. (I can say it in this thread right?)

    camo_sig2.png
    My Backloggery PSN: Bigisy24
  • SynthesisSynthesis Honda Today! Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Big Isy wrote:
    Ohmygod. This is big. BIG! I'm gonna have to borrow money from people to donate to this but dammit, I wanna be a part of the group that made Tube play Hitman 2, a great game in my mind. (I can say it in this thread right?)

    ....maybe not. *uneasy looking around*

    I am impressed by the donations so far for what is basically just a LP, albeit an unexpected one.

    Synthesis on
    Orca wrote: »
    Synthesis wrote:
    Isn't "Your sarcasm makes me wet," the highest compliment an Abh can pay a human?

    Only if said Abh is a member of the nobility.
  • ForarForar #432 Already prepping for Toronto Fan Expo!Registered User regular
    This is an incredible thing for a man to do for such a worthy cause.

    ... Tube, are you alright? You... you haven't been diagnosed with something terminal, have you man? 'Cause if so, there are less tortuous ways to end it all.

    sigone.png
  • B:LB:L Registered User regular
    Is there another auction to make you watch the Hitman movie?

    10mvrci.png click for Anime chat
  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Schattenjägers Gon' SchattenjägeRegistered User regular
    Screw that. I'd say it's a better donation incentive if it made Lewie P's Stepdad say that Hitman 2 was pretty alright for a number of weeks/months.

    steam_sig.png

    I pronounce it bee-log. Most recent entry: VIDEO GAMES: GUNPOINT, OR A SCIENTIFIC STUDY ON WHAT HAPPENS WHEN GLASS MEETS TROUSERS. 3DS Friend Code: 2165-6448-8348
  • DarkMechaDarkMecha NCRegistered User regular
    Hahahahaha. I look forward to this.

    BNet: DarkMecha#1533 | Steam Profile | My Art | 3DS FC: 3754-6679-5676
  • Zoku GojiraZoku Gojira Registered User regular
    Has to be trying for Silent Assassin. Killing everything that moves is Easy Mode in any Hitman game, even this one.

    "The universe is change, life is opinion." - Marcus Aurelius
  • Local H JayLocal H Jay Registered User regular
    does this mean next year you give us money so you can play hulk?

    3DS - 3239-3347-2159
    XB1/360 - Local H Jay
  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    if the goal is reached we won't have to worry about next year because I'll put a gun in my mouth

    If you'd like an anime thread, please PM me to discuss it. Include pics/video of your favorites.
  • RoyceSraphimRoyceSraphim Registered User regular
    If I had money, I would totally bid so I could

    #1 Contribute to Child's Play

    #2 Hear Lewie P give explicit detail on why he hates this game and sate my curiocity

    #3 Finally watch an LP

  • Xenogears of BoreXenogears of Bore Registered User regular
    This thread title is insulting beyond belief to people with actual mental retardation. No one likes Hitman 2.

    3DS CODE: 3093-7068-3576
  • MulletudeMulletude Glorious Leader! Registered User regular
    If only I could read the security code on the back of my debit card, I would drop $20 into each one.

    XBL-Dug Danger WiiU-DugDanger
  • Johnny ChopsockyJohnny Chopsocky Scootaloo! We have to cook! Grillin' HaysenburgersRegistered User regular
    Are you going to cheat? Because you should cheat. Just do like me and my friend did, get a cheat for invisibility, run around with a fire axe in the Russian Plaza level and axe-murder dudes while yelling about Gurlukovich, genomes, Outer Heaven or Metal Gear.

    It's the only way you'll have fun, because playing Hitman 2 by Hitman 2's rules is not fun.

    ygPIJ.gif
    Steam ID X360: JohnnyChopsocky PSN:Stud_Beefpile
  • Ov3rchargeOv3rcharge You'd be a dangatang Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    Maybe if you do Dragon Age 2 on nightmare mode, then we'll talk.
    Hm, are we pitching ideas? That's actually a pretty good one.

  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Are you going to cheat? Because you should cheat. Just do like me and my friend did, get a cheat for invisibility, run around with a fire axe in the Russian Plaza level and axe-murder dudes while yelling about Gurlukovich, genomes, Outer Heaven or Metal Gear.

    It's the only way you'll have fun, because playing Hitman 2 by Hitman 2's rules is not fun.

    Not fun is the point, Johnny.

    If Tube has fun, the terrorists win. As does Hitman 2.

    2MyOx.png
  • TubeTube Administrator, ClubPA admin
    Ov3rcharge wrote:
    Maybe if you do Dragon Age 2 on nightmare mode, then we'll talk.
    Hm, are we pitching ideas? That's actually a pretty good one.

    No it isn't.

    If you'd like an anime thread, please PM me to discuss it. Include pics/video of your favorites.
  • dbrock270dbrock270 Registered User regular
    edited February 2012
    Sounds like a great idea, I'll see what I can donate.

    I rented Hitman 2 like seven years ago and it was one of the shittiest games I've ever played.

    And do you have a good Let's Play personality? Will you be one of the few and proud to makes a Let's Play not totally insufferable?

    dbrock270 on
  • RentRent I'm always right Fuckin' deal with itRegistered User regular
    edited February 2012
    i really doubt this is gonna be a great, amazing lp (but hey it might, i know tube's like a hitman expert so...maybe? dunno), the main reason I'll watch it is the schadenfreude of watching tube play a game he hates to completion

    in other news tube what's your recording setup gonna be/what software are you using for game capture/what mic/are you gonna record in hd/etc

    ed: plus he's playin like 3 levels, going off of donations

    this lp'll be like two updates long

    Rent on
  • jothkijothki Registered User regular
    So this is the game where a guard can notice that you're wearing the same uniform as him, carrying the same gun as him, and walking at a slightly brisk pace, go into alert, and then completely ignore you to wander off back on his patrol while everyone else in the building tries to kill you, right?

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