TychoCelchuuu has been kind enough to provide peeks at Commander Shepard's facebook page:
curly haired boy has been kind enough to provide us a brief history of Mass Effect:
Spoiler:
The Batarian Who Stole Christmas
Every Human Down in the Milky Way Liked Christmas a lot…
But the Batarian, Who lived just north of The Terminus Systems, Did NOT!
The Batarian hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be their slaving isn't right.
It could be, perhaps, that his jump suits too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that he has eyes, two more then normal!
Whatever the reason, his suits or eyes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Humans,
Staring down from his ship with a sadistic, Batarian frown,
At the warm lighted windows below on the planet.
For he knew every human down on Earth bellow,
Was busy now, hanging biotic mistletoes.
“And they’re hanging their ez-zo!” he snarled with a sneer,
“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his brown Batarian fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Earth girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their consoles!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Humans, young and old, would sit down to a play.
And they’d play! And they’d play! And they’d play!
play! play! play!
They would play M-E-1 and play M-E-2.
Which was something the Batarian couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They’d do something He liked least of all!
Every Human down on Earth, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Humans would start singing!
They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Batarian thought of this Human Christmas Sing,
The more the Batarian thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”
“Why, for Twenty-Three years I’ve put up with it now!”
“I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?”
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE BATARIAN GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
“I know just what to do!” The Batarian laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Space Santa Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Batarian trick!”
“With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”
“All I need is a reindeer…” The Batarian looked around.
But, since reindeer are extinct, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Batarian? No! The Batarian simply said,
“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”
So he called his Varren, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Batarian said, “Giddap!” And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Humans Lay asnooze in their homes.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Humans were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
“This is stop number one,” the old Batarian Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Batarian.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the little Human stockings all hung in a row.
“These stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
shotguns! And spaceships! hammerheads! guns!
Mattocks! Locusts! Omni-Gel! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Batarian, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Humans’ feast!
He took the Human-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of human-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
“And NOW!” grinned the Batarian, “I will stuff up the tree!”
And the Batarian grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a Human!
Little Commander Shepard, who was not more than two.
The Batarian had been caught by this tiny Human,
Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
He stared at the Batarian and said, “Santy Claus, why,”
“Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?”
But, you know, that old Batarian was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
“Why, my little tot,” the fake Santy Claus lied,
“There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.”
“So I’m taking it home to my ship, my friend.”
“I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted his head,
And he got him a drink and he sent him to bed.
And when Commander Shepard went to bed with his cup,
The Batarian went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing To the other Humans’ houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Humans’ mouses!
It was quarter past dawn… All the Humans, still a-bed,
All the Humans, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their Cains! The Helmets! The Trophy Bots!
The DLC! And the Amps! The Launchers! The Heat Sinks!
30 million feet up! Up earth atmosphere,
He rode with his load to the ship to dump it!
“PoohPooh to the Humans!” he was humming.
“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!”
“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!”
“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Humans down on Earth will all cry BooHoo!”
“That’s a noise,” grinned the Batarian, “That I simply MUST hear!”
So he paused. And the Batarian put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the lands.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Earth! The Batarian popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Human down on Earth, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Batarian, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
“It came with out guns! It came without flames!”
“It came without mattocks, locusts or cains!”
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Batarian thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
And what happened then? Well... on Earth they say,
That the Batarians top eyes fell out that day!
And the minute his eyes didn’t feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the guns! And the amps for the fights!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Batarian was carved up and burned with roast beast!
By little Commander Shepard who sold his testes
Bobble Mad wrote an ode to the death of Batarians to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan
Truth is elusiveIt's nowhere to be foundRegistered User regular
Posts
that seems like a good, strong krogan name
I am playing through the games again, can I keep playing after the 'end' of ME2, and use a later save to import into ME3?
Also...yeah...I hate that people can't see my Human Soldier's name. I named him Balrog. I dressed him in red, white and blue and I always have him go after objectives first so he can get his fight money.
He also knew Vega during basic training.
I'm playing a soldier in ME2 this time, simply because I wanted to blow things away with the Revenant. And while it is an amazing gun, I feel the class is a little dull compared with the Adept, Vanguard and Infiltrator I've played previously. Kind of wishing I had gone with a Sentinel. But I will probably do a complete ME -> ME3 DudeShep run at some point, so I could always try it then.
Rituraj: I am sorry to inform you that you need to buy those DLC for the PC, and I can only offer 1 DLC from my end by making an exception.
you: ugh that is too bad, I was worried I'd have to rebuy everything
Rituraj: I really apologize for that, but as per policy I am unable to process your request .
you: that's ok, if you can still grant me 1 of them would it be possible to get Cerberus Network for PC attached to my account?
Rituraj: Okay, I am giving that as exception, as I think you are good player of EA.
I got ME2 PC free from owning DA2 but it didn't come with Cerberus Network. At least now I'll have the proper "base" version of the game on PC. sadness
Edit:
Yeah what was up with that?
Stack Exchange | http://www.mpdevblog.blogspot.com
Yeah. That's a PA tradition.
I own Arrival, Overlord, Kasumi, and Shadow Broker on 360 though and it's really a shame that game companies don't let you have "linked" accounts so to speak between platforms.
PRE-ORDER CANCELLED. Then re-ordered through Origin.
I'm only missing out on the physical stuff now in the N7CE, right?
...Why isn't it next week yet??!?
Steam: CarbonFire MWO, Planetside 2, Origin: Carb0nFire
Still, gives me plenty of time to install ME 1 & 2 again and get my savegame in order..I hope transferring them to Origin isn't too much of a bother.
Steam | Origin: MazPA | 3DS: 1848-2888-3654
Yeah, I own all of the "content" DLC (i.e. anything that isn't solely an outfit pack or armor/weapon pack) on 360. I wish it carried over for all three platforms. It's weird that some stuff does, and some doesn't. Like those Dr. Pepper promo items actually gave me access to them on all three, even PS3 which I don't even own.
I haven't even tried to play the PC version though, so eh. Not a huge loss or anything.
My turian sentinel is basically just a somewhat tougher soldier who casts occasionally.
You basically have to sacrifice damage protection for better power usage...but doing that not only makes you a crappy tank...it makes you a crappy caster too.
Most of the time I found myself switching my Tech Armor on and off constantly switching from "caster" mode and "combat" mode.
The content of said DLC is fair game (just remember your spoilers), but I think EA/Bioware policy regarding the DLC is a very tenderized dead horse.
We will destroy them. By destroying their food.
The citadel races will create a network of giant ring-shaped super weapons that destroy all sentient life. Called the ring network. Shepard will be the last one alive left to operate it, and will be given a new, appropriate title. That's right, the full title of the game you preordered is "Mass Effect 3: Lord of the Rings".
Origin: Viycktor
But...they're machines. They don't eat. I mean, as far as I know.
Apparently, the worst that can happen is that after making it through all 11 rounds, the game gives me neither XP nor monies for my time and effort.
More capsuleers should look as cool as I do.
Syrupdwellings ٩๏̯͡๏)۶
We made it just as he was downed.
@tbloxham -> I love your take on them. I'll adopt it as my own Shepard's .
I distinctly recall Sovereign stating that each one of them was a "nation". Some kind of hive mind then, like Geths. This was esplicitally stated in ME2 too, if I'm not wrong. Therefore, humans have the galaxy's higher chance for epic loot and make the best raw materials for the UberReaper (which will be a Vanguard).
GAAAAH!!!
uk guys who missed out, get it while you can! all 3 editions are still there.
Maybe they're less fond of hiding around corners.
ChaosHat.com - Twitter - Twitch Stream - Steam: ChaosHat - SC2: ChaosHat.444 ggtracker
pretty crazy
I'd say no but this thread has surprised me in the past
Yeah, I was pretty furious. Switched my pre-order to Play.com but that means I'm unlikely to get it day and date which GAME guaranteed (sometimes even a day earlier). Basically I won't be playing it for fully a week after 6th, which is horseshit.
What is up with them lately?
They couldn't stock The Last Story either and cancelled everyone's pre-orders.
That reminds me..I'm probably getting the game on the 8th (unless Amazon is lying to me) whereas the "official" EU release is on the 9th.
Can I play it on the 8th or does it only unlock on the 9th?
Steam | Origin: MazPA | 3DS: 1848-2888-3654
read up a few posts for my RPS link
THIS HURTS YOU.