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for a book called red white and BLOOD that's about a vampire bound by voodoo to serve the office of the us president fighting a psychic parasite that turns people into slasher monsters
this book is way better than it has any right to be
it's smart enough to connect itself to slashers obliquely
and then says "and serial killers are a cult that worships it" and uses specific famous ones as examples
the zodiac, btk, and bundy have all been specifically mentioned and i'm sure there's more that i've missed
dude knows how to build some shit up which is surprising considering the last book started with bin laden turning into a lizardman and fighitng the vampire
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
Butcher.
scratch that i kinda wanna write them
the usa's top secret vampire agent is torn between love of a beautiful but deadly terrorist and love of his country
maybe the terrorist is a djinn? that's islamic right
all of the crazy shit in these books is either from existing fiction or it's an old folklore or urban legend or something
the vampire being pardoned by jackson?
the name is changed in the books but yeah this is the backstory for the character
they're really cheesy and goofy but they're not badly written and they're not xenophobic or OORAH AMERICA NUMBER ONE or anything
shit one of the chapter leads in this one is a fake excerpt from Colbert Report and he does an absolute spot-on imitation of colbert's persona's voice, the best i've ever seen
i think farnsworth just wants to write crazy over the top action stories about a secret organization using the occult to bring down america and a vampire getting in fistfights with zombies/lizardmen/the boogeyman
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
i love it though, there's all these references to cade being the king shit badass who has fucked up every supernatural horror ever
jason voorhees, freddy krueger, the fish-people of innsmouth
and those are just off the top of my head
if i sat down with google and the scenes in his "trophy room" i could probably find more
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
NATHANIEL CADE, THE PRESIDENT'S VAMPIRE
that is a goddamned incredible pitch. i may have to read these.
At the perfect spot to drop a conservative rant he instead went with all of those guys are hypocrites they're just too dumb to know it
After a jab at people who think Obama is the antichrist earlier in the book
Farnsworth owns
The book is dumb, but deliberately so. And intelligently
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Font ask me what that one is
Tomorrow I'll do a post about why sandman slim owns too
Hintit too is a stupid series of action stories but without the self-awareness of Farnsworth books
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that's kind of amazing
honestly after the first two were just schlocky action stuff i was expecting him to pull a brad thor and go OORAH AMERICA OWNS FUCK YOU YOU GODLESS COMMIE FUCKS 0B(S)AMA IS NOT MY (P)RESIDENT
but no
went the complete opposite way with it
y'all should do The President's Vampire (think that's the first one) as a book club book
it'll take an hour to read
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
if it's supposed to be a pun or something I'm not getting it
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he isn't really the president because he's a stealth kenyan inflitrator muslin commie terrorist SATANIST GING-GING KILLING TRAITOR
so he's the resident
or (p)resident
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
That's their idea of a clever jab
That's even less clever than the other ones
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i mean
come on
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
oh my god
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
the climactic fight of this book
spoilers for the end but holy shit it's worth clicking i promise
aboard air force one
in midair
INCREDIBLE
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
It was pretty awesome
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shit is so fucking real right now
so real
holy shit guys read these books
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
I read an interview or blog post or something recently, he said that it's two sequences of five books, each book has an arc of flashbacks focusing on one hero, and side characters are confined to the interludes. So hopefully the middle of the series won't be dragged down by subplots, supporting characters, and cliffhangers.
How high are you, bro?
just high on life (i don't do drugs taht aren't the booze)
but really the end of Red White and BLOOD is incredible, the next book is going to be intense
meaning the vampire now has to follow orders from the people he's supposed to be fighting against
unironically looking forward to the fourth cade book
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
"Sandra's favourite movie is escape from new York because she cries when magpie and brain die because they will never be together." HAIL SATAN
And yes, you all should listen to Lost, she'll totally do it.
The only book on the list that I've already read is Watership Down, and frankly it's so good I'd love it if it won, just so I could discuss it with people.
Season's greetings, Satan!
Which one is the newest one?
The problem with Warhammer series is I always leave them after I've caught up with the latest, and then I come across some new book in a series I like (Gaunt's Ghost, Cain, Gotrek & Felix) and I can't remember if I've read it or bought it or what.
Very frustrating.
I think I might be going insane
any major dude will tell you
So everyone did a good job voting on the book club books. So good a job that now instead of a small tie we have a larger tie. Oops!
I am posting this here as an open vote.
I will also message the book club thread separately because there's nothing like some overkill.
Let's give it til Wednesday morning, 5:00 a.m. EST. I say this because that is when I get home from work, and I am bossy like a mofo.
"Sandra's favourite movie is escape from new York because she cries when magpie and brain die because they will never be together." HAIL SATAN
Spoilered because I know some people are reading the second book as we speak:
"What'd you think?" I ask.
"Something selfish," says Gale.
"That you don't have to be jealous of him anymore?" My fingers give a yank, and a cloud of feathers floats down around us.
"No. Just the opposite." Gale pulls a feather out of my hair. "I thought... I'll never compete with that. No matter how much pain I'm in." He spins the feather between his thumb and forefinger. "I don't stand a chance if he doesn't get better. You'll never be able to let him go. You'll always feel wrong about being with me."
"The way I always felt wrong kissing him because of you," I say.
Gale holds my gaze. "If I thought that was true, I could almost live with the rest of it."
"It is true," I admit. "But so is what you said about Peeta."
Gale makes a sound of exasperation. Nonetheless, after we've dropped off the birds and volunteered to go back to the woods to gather kindling for the evening fire, I find myself wrapped in his arms. His lips brushing the faded bruises on my neck, working their way to my mouth. Despite what I feel for Peeta, this is when I accept deep down that he'll never come back to me. Or I'll never go back to him. I'll stay in 2 until it falls, go to the Capitol and kill Snow, and then die for my trouble. And he'll die insane and hating me. So in the fading light I shut my eyes and kiss Gale to make up for all the kisses I've withheld, and because it doesn't matter anymore, and because I'm so desperately lonely I can't stand it.
I actually had to stop reading at this point because WHAT THE FUCK. Is there some kind of requirement that books aimed at teen girls has to include the most creepy, emotionally abusive relationships possible?
At least with Twilight, Bella was a wet blanket from the start. In this case, it feels like an active betrayal because Katniss was so fucking awesome in the first book. She took charge. She put herself in harms way to protect people. Conflicted and under duress, yes, but she was heroic and admirable. She was pure Buffy. Now she's a laconic mopey victim who only returns the feelings of her two suitors - one obsessed white knight type and one emo "I love you so much I hate you" type - because she's in too much pain to do anything else.
In the first book, Katniss played up the pretend relationship as a power play to win the Games. It was a positive, proactive act and even led to some actual feelings developing, but it was secondary to survival, and the story was very much about how capable and ruthless she was. Peeta was the weaker half of the team, and contributed mainly by being devoted to Katniss and winning people over.
In the thitd book? The whole thing is about how Katniss isn't capable of doing anything except by accident, and the talent all lies with the two guys. Peeta has all the public speaking talent, and Gale is the one who not comes up with a ruthless and extremely successful plan in 2, but saves Katniss' sister and their cat when the Capitol attacks 13. What did Katniss do when 13 attacked? She meekly wandered down into the bunker and made absolutely zero effort at anything. She didn't even recognize that Peeta was giving a hint about 13 being attacked, that was Haymitch. You know, the useless town drunk she had to coerce into giving any help whatsoever in the Hunger Games in the first book.
Seriously, characters go out of their way to mention how Katniss would be the last to notice something and how crap she is.
It's a complete 180. Sure some of it is down to Katniss suffering severe depression, but it's systemic. Every aspect of the story is devoted to turning her into a Bella-alike - and it's awful.
Sorry for the rant, but the more I think about it, the more I'm just pissed off at the whole thing.
Fuck. This. Book.
Season's greetings, Satan!
how do i vote on this thing
i don't get it
help i can't computertron
http://fuspawn.tumblr.com/
what I've read is pretty good
Sorry all
Also Remembrance of Things Past is tied in my mind irrevocably to The Life Aquatic now
"Sandra's favourite movie is escape from new York because she cries when magpie and brain die because they will never be together." HAIL SATAN
Only two pages in it already made me have to stifle laughing out loud in a busy train carriage, and books never make me laugh out load.
Your choice in reading material is top shelf
"Sandra's favourite movie is escape from new York because she cries when magpie and brain die because they will never be together." HAIL SATAN
not counting books which have humor as their stated goal
come to think of it, it is funnier than some of those I've read (I'm looking at you, Chelsea Handler)
any major dude will tell you
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Ghost Story is so good you guys.