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Awesome: 'Mass Effect 3: Welcome To Our Thread, Here Are Your Compli...' by Orikaeshigitae

OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
edited March 2012 in [2008-2012] Awesome Posts?
I write the following with the explicit assumption that although most people can tell bad writing when they see it, almost none of them can tell why it's bad without training. I'm gonna explain what's wrong with the ending and what most people mean when they say it's bad or 'ruined the experience' or 'fuck you bio$ware'. Also: please quit saying 'good' or 'bad' or 'i liked it or didn't' or anything as extreme as all that. Nobody fucked you, okay? Nobody even fucked your dog. Your dog is safe.

If you read this, you're reading it because you want to hear my opinion on it as a Trained Story Asshole - so read all of it. If you're gonna complain about the length (it's long) don't read it. When you respond, say something of substance. Also, there are going to be grammatical errors because I'm writing this conversationally. If you complain about grammar I'm going to shit on your face. Cool? Cool.

Again, if you open this spoiler, you're tacitly admitting that you might be wrong. I really don't want to spend so long writing this only to have someone dismiss it out of hand.

Spoilers for everything, including your own later life experiences. Yo life partner hella ugly.
Spoiler:

CambiataMild ConfusioncB557
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Posts

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    please witness/pay tribute to my Big Writer Balls

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    i also owe props to @anjin-san for lending me his voice/writing mannerisms for big portions of this essay unintentionally

  • OrcaOrca Registered User regular
    I just wanted to thank you for deconstructing exactly what went wrong with the ending and why it feels so unsatisfying, even for those of us who aren't declaring it Space Hitler.

    evilthecat wrote: »
    "Bioware I want to suck on your teets of gamingness".

    The 2012 issue of Fornax. | Steam and Origin: Espressosaurus
  • AtrensisAtrensis Registered User
    Very nice post. And the thing that troubles me most is this game could have been EPIC. It could have easily turned Mass Effect into the best sci-fi saga ever, even above Star Wars and Star Trek IMHO.
    And Bioware decided to ruin it.

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

  • piLpiL Registered User regular
    I still haven't beat Mass Effect, but this seems to have reason applied to it unlike most of what I've read.

  • The_ScarabThe_Scarab Registered User regular
    When you say you're a 'Trained Story Asshole' what does that actually mean? As in, what english lit qualification do you have? I'm assuming at least a bachelor's.

    scarab you have mental problems
  • HeisenbergHeisenberg Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

    He gave you a compliment and this is what you respond with? You really are a shithead. And your "awesome post" would have been awesome if the thick, underlying layer of shithead wasn't so obvious.

    Heisenberg on
  • JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp. I can show you how to be a real man!Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    Heisenberg wrote: »
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

    He gave you a compliment and this is what you respond with? You really are a shithead. And your "awesome post" would have been awesome if the thick, underlying layer of shithead wasn't so obvious.

    Here is a great example of how we don't post!

  • GriswoldGriswold (a superset of all possible mathematics) (his body disintegrated)Registered User regular
    Heisenberg wrote: »
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

    He gave you a compliment and this is what you respond with? You really are a shithead. And your "awesome post" would have been awesome if the thick, underlying layer of shithead wasn't so obvious.

    I never got that vibe from his posts, but your comment is making me uncertain.


  • SticksSticks Registered User regular
    But DUDE it could have been EPIC...

    Bioware has ruined the world.

    I really need to play this game so I can read all this spoilery goodness.

  • kedinikkedinik Registered User regular
    Jacobkosh wrote: »
    Heisenberg wrote: »
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

    He gave you a compliment and this is what you respond with? You really are a shithead. And your "awesome post" would have been awesome if the thick, underlying layer of shithead wasn't so obvious.

    Here is a great example of how we don't post!

    I will say that Ori, uh, kind of seemed to be baiting this guy in the ME thread. Little bit.

    Which explains if obviously does not excuse Heisenberg's post.

    lancealot_zpsb9e62895.png
  • Kristmas KthulhuKristmas Kthulhu Registered User regular
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

    I like this post. We really ought to strive to do a better job of using language to its full potential.

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    The_Scarab wrote: »
    When you say you're a 'Trained Story Asshole' what does that actually mean? As in, what english lit qualification do you have? I'm assuming at least a bachelor's.

    bachelor's in english lit, creative writing and visual arts

    99% of a graduate degree in english lit

    years of self-directed study and practice in game design

    A Lil Tube(tm) Asshole Camp Counselor

  • GoatmonGoatmon AHOY! I'M ADMIRAL ZHAO!Registered User regular
    Orik, I really appreciate you taking the time to put together such an eloquent series of thoughts that sum up the situation really nicely.

    Nicely done, man.

    aik7511.jpg
  • AtrensisAtrensis Registered User
    edited March 2012
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/epic?s=t
    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ruin?s=t
    Spoiler:

    EDIT: Huh, guess I better use spoiler tags just in case.
    EDIT 2: And for some reason I can't get the spoiler tags to work. I'd rather not leave it without the tags, so I'll just say that I used the words I meant to use.
    EDIT 3: So it DOES work. Damn I'm bad at this.

    Atrensis on
  • mrnighttimemrnighttime Registered User
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Atrensis wrote: »
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/epic?s=t
    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ruin?s=t
    Spoiler:

    so your argument is that mass effect could have been epic in scope or genre but bioware prevented that from happening by involving the entirety of galactic history

  • AtrensisAtrensis Registered User
    Atrensis wrote: »
    epic doesn't mean the same thing as meaningful, and Bioware didn't ruin anything

    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/epic?s=t
    http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ruin?s=t
    Spoiler:

    so your argument is that mass effect could have been epic in scope or genre but bioware prevented that from happening by involving the entirety of galactic history

    No, my argument is that Bioware decided to kill any future the series could have for no logical reason.

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    epic also doesn't mean 'unlimited in duration,' as you'll note from the definition you posted

  • ThejakemanThejakeman Registered User
    edited March 2012
    I'm going to be really disappointed when Mass effect 4 comes out. Because you know it will.
    Spoiler:

    Thejakeman on
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited March 2012
    i actually quite like the ending, although the execution is certainly botched. the above essay was intended to explain the deep discomfort that most fans have apparently felt as a result of it

    Orikaeshigitae on
  • PicklesworthPicklesworth Vancouver, CanadaRegistered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Nice post! I think I felt almoist the same thing. Your ellipsized title demonstrates the remainder of my problem with the ME3 ending :)
    Spoiler:

    Edit: Aha! http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SequelEscalation

    Picklesworth on
  • Kristmas KthulhuKristmas Kthulhu Registered User regular
    A commercially successful galaxy-spanning narrative could almost certainly be considered "of unusually great size or extent," but I don't think it was ever considered a possibility that Shep was a virgin at any point during these games.

  • PonyPony Registered User regular
    The number of times a person quotes TVTropes to support their viewpoint can expressed as a multiplier on how little they fucking know about anything, jesus christ.

  • AtrensisAtrensis Registered User
    epic also doesn't mean 'unlimited in duration,' as you'll note from the definition you posted
    Your reply to my first comment had nothing to do with what I actually said. The other two replies you made tried to twist my comments into something I didn't say, and in fact could be answered by me just quoting the very comments you replied to. I think it's safe to assume you are either troll-baiting me, or can't be bothered to read my comments. So have a good day.

  • Fixer40000Fixer40000 Registered User regular
    Okay, made a post about this on the 'Mass Effect 3 ending is okay' thing on PAR and figured I'd drop my essay here.

    My final word on the matter.
    Spoiler:

    Have left PA forums.
    If this community believes that hating someone based soley upon their gender is acceptable and understandable, I have no interest in being a part of it.
  • a5ehrena5ehren AtlantaRegistered User regular
    Fixer40000 wrote: »
    Okay, made a post about this on the 'Mass Effect 3 ending is okay' thing on PAR and figured I'd drop my essay here.

    My final word on the matter.
    Spoiler:

    You were doing really well until the last 3 sentences, then it turned into "ur a moran if u don't agree wit me hahahaha".

  • Fixer40000Fixer40000 Registered User regular
    a5ehren wrote: »

    You were doing really well until the last 3 sentences, then it turned into "ur a moran if u don't agree wit me hahahaha".

    To be completely fair, I've used that exact same line of reasoning against the people that try to say the Prequel trilogy is better than the original trilogy because it's 'more complex' or has 'better lightsabre duels'.

    The sycophantic responses to Gabe's tweet yesterday drew such a parallel to the people that supported the Prequel trilogy despite it's failings I had to add that in.

    Besides, three lines of text even if you don't like them shouldn't undo the logic and reasoning of the lines before. Even if it does paint me as a massive jerk :)

    Will stop talking now.

    Have left PA forums.
    If this community believes that hating someone based soley upon their gender is acceptable and understandable, I have no interest in being a part of it.
  • LegbaLegba Registered User regular
    i actually quite like the ending, although the execution is certainly botched. the above essay was intended to explain the deep discomfort that most fans have apparently felt as a result of it

    This is pretty much how I feel about it. I thought it was a pretty well written post. :^:

  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
  • Fixer40000Fixer40000 Registered User regular
    edited March 2012
    Spoiler:

    Fixer40000 on
    Have left PA forums.
    If this community believes that hating someone based soley upon their gender is acceptable and understandable, I have no interest in being a part of it.
  • OrikaeshigitaeOrikaeshigitae Registered User, ClubPA regular
    It's a generic expectation, not just individual reaction. It's how these things work.

    But yeah, clumsy last-minute writing turns out to be the culprit? Color me surprised.

  • ThejakemanThejakeman Registered User
    edited March 2012
    Which brings it back to Tycho's point about spending money on a portion of a game that a significant amount of people will not see. The real culprit here is dev costs getting in the way of artistic integrity.

    Not, y'know, EA/Bioware/Casey Hudson being evil incarnate.

    Thejakeman on
  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Registered User regular
    Thejakeman wrote: »
    Which brings it back to Tycho's point about spending money on a portion of a game that a significant amount of people will not see. The real culprit here is dev costs getting in the way of artistic integrity.

    Not, y'know, EA/Bioware/Casey Hudson being evil incarnate.

    No.

    Everything I've seen says it was an ego call. A "I have the best idea! No, it's mine. You'd break it." deal.

    Minor case of the Lucases. EA, odd as it is to say, is innocent.

    If there was a fix, that'd be closer to a corporate call.

  • AtrensisAtrensis Registered User
    So, in a surprising turn of events, the ending of a game could've been better if the corporate head had decided to stifle creativity to protect the IP.
    That's gotta be a first.

  • ThejakemanThejakeman Registered User
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    No.

    Everything I've seen says it was an ego call. A "I have the best idea! No, it's mine. You'd break it." deal.

    Minor case of the Lucases. EA, odd as it is to say, is innocent.

    If there was a fix, that'd be closer to a corporate call.

    "Everything I've seen"

    I see, you work at Bioware and have access to internal memos?

  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    Thejakeman wrote: »
    "Everything I've seen"

    I see, you work at Bioware and have access to internal memos?

    There's no need to speculate about internal memos. Take a look at the Final Hours app. It focuses entirely on two specific writers to the exclusion of... well, pretty much the rest of the writing team.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
  • ThejakemanThejakeman Registered User
    Feral wrote: »
    Thejakeman wrote: »
    "Everything I've seen"

    I see, you work at Bioware and have access to internal memos?

    There's no need to speculate about internal memos. Take a look at the Final Hours app. It focuses entirely on two specific writers to the exclusion of... well, pretty much the rest of the writing team.

    Ah, so the two writers who had the time, patience, and energy to submit to a crazy journalistic experiment represent the "ego" here.

  • FramlingFramling Registered User regular
    People who work at game studios often like games. People who like games are often active in the gaming community. People who are active in the gaming community often make friends in the gaming community. People who have friends often tell their friends about things that happened at work, particularly if it's something involving a mutual interest (viz., video games).

    People whose friends tell them things that happened at work are often reticent re going into detail about how they came across said information, for fear of possible repercussions vis-à-vis the continued employment of their friend or friends.

    you're = you are
    your = belonging to you

    their = belonging to them
    there = not here
    they're = they are
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