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Awesome: '[Mass Effect]: Spoilers everywhere! No, seriously. All ME3 stu...' by Shadowhope
likes this Post written by Shadowhope
about a year ago
" There are tons of ways BioWare could have fixed the ending. It's almost criminal they didn't go this direction, though."
So, I've done some thinking about what would make for a great alternate ending that's more supported by the content of the game before the final conversation.
While we have absolutely no evidence of a Reaper-God before the final scenes, we do have a Space Hamster. Now, there is another BioWare series wherein you can see a Space Hamster. At the end of that series, it says that the companion of the Space Hamster in question went with the Space Hamster to the stars. Now, somehow they clearly got separated, with the Space Hamster ending up with Shepard, but there is no way he'd ever stop looking for his companion. The obvious conclusion is that Minsc should have been to Earth in time to help with the final battle.
So, the game proceeds as normal, until the Reaper-God and Shepard finish their conversation. This then follows:
MINSC: Hail, hero! Boo tells me that you are the Shepard of Commanders?
[Shepard and the Reaper-God turn, surprised at the new arrival]
Shepard: Er, what?
Reaper-God: Ignore him, Shepard. You must choose.
MINSC: Stand and deliver, that my hamster might have a better look at you.
Shepard: You're a half-naked crazy man covered in tattoos carrying a giant sword.
MINSC: Shepard-Commander, my Miniature Giant Space Hamster companion has made it known that I must be here now, to help you kick evil's butt.
Shepard: I. . . uh. . . Miniature giant. . . what?
MINSC: Yes sir! Now that Minsc and Boo are here, butts will be liberally kicked in good measure!
Reaper-God: This is all irrelevant, Shepard. Choose.
MINSC: You! You are a floaty evil thing, and you will not confuse this hero with your confusing floaty evils!
Reaper-God: You are an insect. You are both insects.
MINSC: No, I am Minsc. If I were an insect, I would be much smaller! Smaller than Boo even!
Shepard: Am I dead? Am I hallucinating?
MINSC: Take heart, hero! We will smite this evil in the face, for justice! And hamsters!
MINSC (in a loud whisper): Boo, surprise the floaty evil god by going for the eyes!
Shepard: Are you sure we can take him?
MINSC: There is safety in numbers and I am two or three at least. Besides, the bigger they are, the harder I hit!
Shepard: This is less crazy than what I was going to do before you showed up.
Reaper-God (in Harbinger's voice): You were provided an opportunity for a brief end Shepard. Now you will know pain.
MINSC: Despair not! I shall inspire you by charging blindly on!
SHEPARD : For the Alliance!
Reaper-God/Harbinger: Your attacks are inconsequential.
MINSC: BUTTKICKING, FOR GOODNESS!
SHEPARD : FEEL THE BACKHAND OF JUSTICE!
MINSC: Ooo, that is very good.
[Damage begins to accrue on the Reaper-God/Harbinger]
Reaper-God/Harbinger: What is this we don't even
MINSC: MAKE WAY, FLOATY EVIL! HEROES COMING THROUGH!
SHEPARD : SHEPARD PUNCH!
Reaper-God/Harbinger: End of line.
[The Reaper-God falls, explosions start ripping through the Citadel, and in the distance you see Harbinger go up in flames]
MINSC: Ahh... We are all heroes; you and Boo and I. Hamsters and shepherds everywhere, rejoice!
SHEPARD: Thank you, crazy man who came out of nowhere to save me from the Reaper-God that came out of nowhere, preventing me from making a crazy out-of-character choice.
MINSC: I have lost myself in your words but Boo thinks you are just ducky!
[Joker swoops in, picks up Shepard; Minsc stays behind on the exploding Citadel, saying he prefers to walk down to Earth. Consequently, no one but Shepard ever sees Minsc.]
Joker: What happened on the Citadel?
Shepard: You wouldn't believe me if I told you, but. . . it involved camaraderie, adventure, and steel on steel. The stuff of legend!
Joker: Is that a hamster you're holding?