I'm playing this one awfully straight, but I have a pair of cards that are just perfect for this.
I'm pretty sure my cards are more perfect
(Well, almost. I can only think of one way they could be better, and I doubt that's possible unless we get lucky in a later expansion)
FiggyFighter of the night manChampion of the sunRegistered Userregular
edited March 2012
Nah, I'm still waiting on one more. You know who you are. First round started at an odd time, so I'm giving some leeway. I don't know if I'll be able to keep strictly to the time schedule I put together, but there will still be a loose rule that if you take too long I'll pick a card to submit for you instead.
And it won't be a funny one.
It will be something like... "evil men" and "heroes," in this case. That's so lame.
It was me, didn't realize the game was starting so soon. Mine are in though!
Edit: My life has been so filled with putting IKEA furniture together and making cupcakes, I have had no time to internet. Rest assured this is a very temporary Suzie homemaker phase and I will now be dishing out the inappropriate phrases like mad.
FiggyFighter of the night manChampion of the sunRegistered Userregular
Alright, our contestants have locked in their answers. Let's take a look at the board!
In a world ravaged by oversized lollipops, our only solace is children on leashes
In a world ravaged by bitches, our only solace is raping and pillaging
In a world ravaged by menstruation, our only solace is teaching a robot to love
In a world ravaged by centaurs, our only solace is the milk man
In a world ravaged by Republicans, our only solace is the homosexual agenda
In a world ravaged by Britney Spears at 55, our only solace is an assymetric boob job
In a world ravaged by RoboCop, our only solace is Sean Connery
In a world ravaged by a zesty breakfast burrito, our only solace is Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts
In a world ravaged by Tom Cruise, our only solace is puppies
In a world ravaged by glory holes, our only solace is queefing
In a world ravaged by two midgets shitting into a bucket, our only solace is AXE body spray
In a world ravaged by Dick Cheney, our only solace is Scientology
In a world ravaged by erectile dysfunction, our only solace is Keanu Reeves
In a world ravaged by preteens, our only solace is explosions
In a world ravaged by child abuse, our only solace is coat hanger abortions
In a world ravaged by fiery poops, our only solace is praying the gay away
That looks like a lot of words! Old Smiley sure isn't about to read them all. So, let's head over to our studio audience!@Vanguard, What is the most popular answer on the board?
Some of these are pretty random and don't have much to do with each other; I got a good laugh out of Republicans and Centaurs though.
I now have to get this game to see if that is a real card.
I mean, my God, someone put a lot of thought into that.
It's real, I promise you. There's a PDF you can download on their site and print up at like office depot on cardstock and play with friends. It is good times
Phrase makes no sense, wins point, welcome to Cards Against Humanity
Of course it makes sense. When your sink keeps clogging, do you stop shoving food down there? No, you stop eating food entirely. You get to the root of the problem.
I see. Perhaps I'm the only one who has worked in a middle school long enough to believe that blowing up preteens is always the answer.
You don't have to work in a middle school to know this is the only answer.
0
Options
FiggyFighter of the night manChampion of the sunRegistered Userregular
The results are in! Thank you, Vanguard. Now get back to your podium because I think Bedlam has been trying to sneak a peak at your cards. With Round One drawn to a close, let's take a look at the score!
Oh good, I was afraid the bulbs would be burnt out. I mean, really, people. It's our pilot episode and we can't get a working scoreboard? No matter, let's move on to Round Two! Contestants, you should have your new cards by now. Give me your best answer to the following question:
Dear Abby, I am having trouble with ____________ and would like your advice.
Alright, contestants, lock in your answers. Not you, Darkewolfe. You're heading out into the streets to find out the scuttlebutt. Or whatever. Just get the hell out of the studio. And before I forget, TheRoadVirus can GAMBLE that point to submit an extra card! You know you wanna.
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I'm pretty sure my cards are more perfect
(Well, almost. I can only think of one way they could be better, and I doubt that's possible unless we get lucky in a later expansion)
I had, like, four appropriate options
All of them were awesome
I'd like to point out that the google ad served up by the PA index/search site I used to find that was a Santorum campaign ad.
And it won't be a funny one.
It will be something like... "evil men" and "heroes," in this case. That's so lame.
Edit: My life has been so filled with putting IKEA furniture together and making cupcakes, I have had no time to internet. Rest assured this is a very temporary Suzie homemaker phase and I will now be dishing out the inappropriate phrases like mad.
Zithra Melitch in Star Wars: An Empire's End
Jellica in In the Shadow of Zeus
In a world ravaged by oversized lollipops, our only solace is children on leashes
In a world ravaged by bitches, our only solace is raping and pillaging
In a world ravaged by menstruation, our only solace is teaching a robot to love
In a world ravaged by centaurs, our only solace is the milk man
In a world ravaged by Republicans, our only solace is the homosexual agenda
In a world ravaged by Britney Spears at 55, our only solace is an assymetric boob job
In a world ravaged by RoboCop, our only solace is Sean Connery
In a world ravaged by a zesty breakfast burrito, our only solace is Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts
In a world ravaged by Tom Cruise, our only solace is puppies
In a world ravaged by glory holes, our only solace is queefing
In a world ravaged by two midgets shitting into a bucket, our only solace is AXE body spray
In a world ravaged by Dick Cheney, our only solace is Scientology
In a world ravaged by erectile dysfunction, our only solace is Keanu Reeves
In a world ravaged by preteens, our only solace is explosions
In a world ravaged by child abuse, our only solace is coat hanger abortions
In a world ravaged by fiery poops, our only solace is praying the gay away
That looks like a lot of words! Old Smiley sure isn't about to read them all. So, let's head over to our studio audience! @Vanguard, What is the most popular answer on the board?
Zithra Melitch in Star Wars: An Empire's End
Jellica in In the Shadow of Zeus
Some of these are pretty random and don't have much to do with each other; I got a good laugh out of Republicans and Centaurs though.
Inquisitor77: Rius, you are Sisyphus and melee Wizard is your boulder
Tube: This must be what it felt like to be an Iraqi when Saddam was killed
Bookish Stickers - Mrs. Rius' Etsy shop with bumper stickers and vinyl decals.
I now have to get this game to see if that is a real card.
I mean, my God, someone put a lot of thought into that.
Twitch Stream
It's real, I promise you. There's a PDF you can download on their site and print up at like office depot on cardstock and play with friends. It is good times
But then I'm hit with the realization that I can make up cards. Hmmm.
In a world ravaged by fiery poops, our only solace is praying the gay away.
Both of these are great, and could have benefited by inclusion of the Glenn Beck card.
I think you should invent a Santorum card.
This one just kinda makes me sad. Too realistic.
In a world ravaged by child abuse, our only solace is coat hanger abortions
Are the... are the children abusing us? Is this our last line of defense?
YESSSSSSSS
I mean... I graciously accept your votes with a humble heart, and much thankfulness
Inquisitor77: Rius, you are Sisyphus and melee Wizard is your boulder
Tube: This must be what it felt like to be an Iraqi when Saddam was killed
Bookish Stickers - Mrs. Rius' Etsy shop with bumper stickers and vinyl decals.
Of course it makes sense. When your sink keeps clogging, do you stop shoving food down there? No, you stop eating food entirely. You get to the root of the problem.
It's a win-win situation.
Zithra Melitch in Star Wars: An Empire's End
Jellica in In the Shadow of Zeus
You don't have to work in a middle school to know this is the only answer.
Oh good, I was afraid the bulbs would be burnt out. I mean, really, people. It's our pilot episode and we can't get a working scoreboard? No matter, let's move on to Round Two! Contestants, you should have your new cards by now. Give me your best answer to the following question:
Dear Abby, I am having trouble with ____________ and would like your advice.
Alright, contestants, lock in your answers. Not you, Darkewolfe. You're heading out into the streets to find out the scuttlebutt. Or whatever. Just get the hell out of the studio. And before I forget, TheRoadVirus can GAMBLE that point to submit an extra card! You know you wanna.
Still, these are hilarious.