If I won the lottery, I would immediately put most of the money in a sensible investment account with compound interest
and with the rest I would purchase some quality hookers and blow
Your family members would be kidnapped for large ransoms within 24 hours of you receiving the novelty-sized check. Your cousin's finger would be mailed to you with a $5 million price tag tied to it.
My cousins are worth less to me than the postage for a piece of dog shit that I'd send to the hostage takers
If I won the lottery, I would immediately put most of the money in a sensible investment account with compound interest
and with the rest I would purchase some quality hookers and blow
Your family members would be kidnapped for large ransoms within 24 hours of you receiving the novelty-sized check. Your cousin's finger would be mailed to you with a $5 million price tag tied to it.
Yes, but if you do have someone that you can trust with the cash that is also good with people cold-calling them all the time; a blind trust makes sure you don't hear from "long lost cousin earl, just looking you up".
but then you lose control of the assets
fuck gendered marketing
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ElldrenIs a woman dammitceterum censeoRegistered Userregular
I don't know about you guys, but I know exactly who my extended family are
the key is to take that money and start your own lottery whereby the winner also starts their own lottery
i call it the ponzottery
...
this is brilliant.
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simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
It is worth noting that I would be the perfect lottery winner, as my entire family (extended or otherwise) is very well documented, and I hold grudges against most of them
I the only "long lost" cousin I have was the groupie-carried lovechild of my great-uncle, back when he was somewhat of a rock star, who was banned from ever seeing her father until his funeral.
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MrMisterJesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered Userregular
A professor came and gave a talk on Rawls' conception of fair equality of opportunity today. She was discussing the ways that parents can confer advantage on their children--and although many of them correlate with income, they actually seem to be independent pathways as shown in regressions. So for instance, time spent reading to your children and years-of-post-secondary-education-of-the-mother are both much stronger predictors of academic success than income (though they unsurprisingly correlate).
Anyway, the charming part of this story was when she mentioned that sometimes parents efforts to shape their children backfire. Like, for instance, she tried to get her son to go into low-paid socially valuable work, and he's rebelling by pursuing finance. This is how you get back at your mom, who is a famous ethics professor.
Nothing's funnier or more charming than how red diaper babies rebel.
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
Yes, but if you do have someone that you can trust with the cash that is also good with people cold-calling them all the time; a blind trust makes sure you don't hear from "long lost cousin earl, just looking you up".
but then you lose control of the assets
Correct. It's a balancing act. Unless you do it the Mitt Romney way, and then you can have your cake and eat it too!
the key is to take that money and start your own lottery whereby the winner also starts their own lottery
i call it the ponzottery
Only the government is allowed to have a lottery. There were banks and credit unions that had a sort of lottery where you could open up a savings account with them. Instead of paying you interest, every X amount of dollars you deposited earned you an entry into this lottery and every month someone would receive an extra $Y amount into their account.
It seemed to me like a good way of getting people (especially the poor) to save money instead of throwing it away on lottery and gambling.
Government regulation of gambling and liquor both seem like bizarre mixes of puritanism and naked self-interest.
A coincidence of a plausible public interest, a puritan moral campaign, and some corrupt self-interest, I suspect. The puritanism doesn't chase the self-interest, but it does exacerbate it where it exists.
If I would have won the lottery, I would have paid off my student loans so hard.
Lamest imagination ever.
I would absolutely go renaissance man style: get a half dozen bachelor's degrees; maybe a masters or two; go back to flying helicopters; master pool and a few other physical activities, maybe a martial art; continue to travel and learn to cook every type of cuisine in its home country; learn a language or four.
The thing is, I really would do a lot of that, or at least legitimately attempt it. I love that mastery of skills thing.
"More fish for Kunta!"
--LeVar Burton
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ElldrenIs a woman dammitceterum censeoRegistered Userregular
If I would have won the lottery, I would have paid off my student loans so hard.
Lamest imagination ever.
I would absolutely go renaissance man style: get a half dozen bachelor's degrees; maybe a masters or two; go back to flying helicopters; master pool and a few other physical activities, maybe a martial art; continue to travel and learn to cook every type of cuisine in its home country; learn a language or four.
The thing is, I really would do a lot of that, or at least legitimately attempt it. I love that mastery of skills thing.
Yeah, I would seriously just spend my whole life learning awesome stuff.
My coworkers say they'd still come to work if they won the lottery. They're either liars or losers or both.
Observe that countries which are less puritan or less corrupt also regulate gambling and liquor, but they may take substantially different approaches from other countries.
(tax revenue maximization, for instance, is frequently a public-interest goal here)
ronya on
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ElldrenIs a woman dammitceterum censeoRegistered Userregular
the key is to take that money and start your own lottery whereby the winner also starts their own lottery
i call it the ponzottery
Only the government is allowed to have a lottery. There were banks and credit unions that had a sort of lottery where you could open up a savings account with them. Instead of paying you interest, every X amount of dollars you deposited earned you an entry into this lottery and every month someone would receive an extra $Y amount into their account.
It seemed to me like a good way of getting people (especially the poor) to save money instead of throwing it away on lottery and gambling.
The government did not like this though.
sigh
fine i'll have to buy 51 senators first then to the ponzottery!
Possible Taglines:
Will you get lucky tonight?
Lady Luck will do more than smile on you!
Pull the lever, grad the balls.
Alright, I think I'm all set. All I need now are some actors.
Yeah, as if it's just that easy.
You do realize you that no matter how simple pornos seem, they do still need an actual script, not to mention cameramen, grips, editors, and of course legal to make sure the government doesn't crawl up your ass, and not in a fun porn-y way. Do you know anything about any of that? I mean jeez Richy, have you put any practical thought into this whatsoever?
Jeez.
he was engaging in a
mental exercise
Yeah well maybe he was engaging in a ronya, ronya! In the butt!
Watched a interesting story on the news about some lady who specializes in helping people who win the lottery.
She had some really great advice I never thought. Like people to hire, and how to manage your winnings.
Step #1: Hire someone who can tell you what to do with your winnings.
I...I see what she did there.
hi I'm a CPA (almost)!! I can do that
tyrannus on
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simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
Watched a interesting story on the news about some lady who specializes in helping people who win the lottery.
She had some really great advice I never thought. Like people to hire, and how to manage your winnings.
Step #1: Hire someone who can tell you what to do with your winnings.
I...I see what she did there.
hi I'm a CPA (almost)!! I can do that
You know, tyrannus, I actually said to myself that I would hire my good friend tyrannus to be my full time accountant if I won the MegaMillions jackpot.
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MrMisterJesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered Userregular
Observe that countries which are less puritan or less corrupt also regulate gambling and liquor, but they may take substantially different approaches from other countries.
(tax revenue maximization, for instance, is frequently a public-interest goal here)
Liquor taxes strike me as highly problematic. There's a public health issue, true, but liquor demand is relatively inelastic, so taxes don't actually depress consumption and hence don't actually effect that public health goal. Instead, they just serve as means for state to raise needed funds by shaking down something no one's going to stand up for. And they do so in a regressive way. The people hit hardest by liquor taxes are the poor.
Watched a interesting story on the news about some lady who specializes in helping people who win the lottery.
She had some really great advice I never thought. Like people to hire, and how to manage your winnings.
Step #1: Hire someone who can tell you what to do with your winnings.
I...I see what she did there.
hi I'm a CPA (almost)!! I can do that
You know, tyrannus, I actually said to myself that I would hire my good friend tyrannus to be my full time accountant if I won the MegaMillions jackpot.
don't do it tyrannus
its a trap
you won't be able to tell if he's carrying or not anymore
Observe that countries which are less puritan or less corrupt also regulate gambling and liquor, but they may take substantially different approaches from other countries.
(tax revenue maximization, for instance, is frequently a public-interest goal here)
Liquor taxes strike me as highly problematic. There's a public health issue, true, but liquor demand is relatively inelastic, so taxes don't actually depress consumption and hence don't actually effect that public health goal. Instead, they just serve as means for state to raise needed funds by shaking down something no one's going to stand up for. And they do so in a regressive way. The people hit hardest by liquor taxes are the poor.
Which, you realize, elevates the tax revenue interest by exactly the same degree to which it is inelastic. One desires to tax inelastic goods precisely because doing so has a minimal effect on efficient allocations. It is, yes, typically the case that inelastic goods form a disproportionate share of a low-income basket of consumption (and it is easy to see why, I think). Thus the progressivity has to be buried in the net of spending.
Of course ideal public policy and reality rarely meet and the idealized case here is oft less a justification and more an excuse.
Watched a interesting story on the news about some lady who specializes in helping people who win the lottery.
She had some really great advice I never thought. Like people to hire, and how to manage your winnings.
Step #1: Hire someone who can tell you what to do with your winnings.
I...I see what she did there.
hi I'm a CPA (almost)!! I can do that
You know, tyrannus, I actually said to myself that I would hire my good friend tyrannus to be my full time accountant if I won the MegaMillions jackpot.
i'd see if we could assign your annuity winnings to an LLC and take huge passthrough losses in that offset the withholding. your new business: you'd go around and punch people in the face for a fee.
Posts
My cousins are worth less to me than the postage for a piece of dog shit that I'd send to the hostage takers
money saved
Foolish thieves. I can buy a new family!
Edit: With blackjack. And hookers!
i call it the ponzottery
Fucking genius.
but then you lose control of the assets
And I also know they aren't getting one red cent
...
this is brilliant.
I the only "long lost" cousin I have was the groupie-carried lovechild of my great-uncle, back when he was somewhat of a rock star, who was banned from ever seeing her father until his funeral.
Anyway, the charming part of this story was when she mentioned that sometimes parents efforts to shape their children backfire. Like, for instance, she tried to get her son to go into low-paid socially valuable work, and he's rebelling by pursuing finance. This is how you get back at your mom, who is a famous ethics professor.
Nothing's funnier or more charming than how red diaper babies rebel.
Correct. It's a balancing act. Unless you do it the Mitt Romney way, and then you can have your cake and eat it too!
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
Only the government is allowed to have a lottery. There were banks and credit unions that had a sort of lottery where you could open up a savings account with them. Instead of paying you interest, every X amount of dollars you deposited earned you an entry into this lottery and every month someone would receive an extra $Y amount into their account.
It seemed to me like a good way of getting people (especially the poor) to save money instead of throwing it away on lottery and gambling.
The government did not like this though.
https://twitter.com/Hooraydiation
A coincidence of a plausible public interest, a puritan moral campaign, and some corrupt self-interest, I suspect. The puritanism doesn't chase the self-interest, but it does exacerbate it where it exists.
I would absolutely go renaissance man style: get a half dozen bachelor's degrees; maybe a masters or two; go back to flying helicopters; master pool and a few other physical activities, maybe a martial art; continue to travel and learn to cook every type of cuisine in its home country; learn a language or four.
The thing is, I really would do a lot of that, or at least legitimately attempt it. I love that mastery of skills thing.
--LeVar Burton
p much
Yeah, I would seriously just spend my whole life learning awesome stuff.
My coworkers say they'd still come to work if they won the lottery. They're either liars or losers or both.
(tax revenue maximization, for instance, is frequently a public-interest goal here)
sigh
fine i'll have to buy 51 senators first
then to the ponzottery!
Yeah well maybe he was engaging in a ronya, ronya! In the butt!
--LeVar Burton
hi I'm a CPA (almost)!! I can do that
Just put on a hoodie and someone else will do it for you
I recommend not doing this action.
...with a nerf gun.
Right?
You know, tyrannus, I actually said to myself that I would hire my good friend tyrannus to be my full time accountant if I won the MegaMillions jackpot.
Liquor taxes strike me as highly problematic. There's a public health issue, true, but liquor demand is relatively inelastic, so taxes don't actually depress consumption and hence don't actually effect that public health goal. Instead, they just serve as means for state to raise needed funds by shaking down something no one's going to stand up for. And they do so in a regressive way. The people hit hardest by liquor taxes are the poor.
don't do it tyrannus
its a trap
you won't be able to tell if he's carrying or not anymore
Which, you realize, elevates the tax revenue interest by exactly the same degree to which it is inelastic. One desires to tax inelastic goods precisely because doing so has a minimal effect on efficient allocations. It is, yes, typically the case that inelastic goods form a disproportionate share of a low-income basket of consumption (and it is easy to see why, I think). Thus the progressivity has to be buried in the net of spending.
Of course ideal public policy and reality rarely meet and the idealized case here is oft less a justification and more an excuse.
i'd see if we could assign your annuity winnings to an LLC and take huge passthrough losses in that offset the withholding. your new business: you'd go around and punch people in the face for a fee.
You told her you love her? Isn't this the girl you were considering having sexy time with the other night?
isn't that what all guys tell the girls who take their virginity?