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[Parsely] Space Station >giant leap

weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heartRegistered User regular
edited April 2012 in Critical Failures
>Hello again.

>We've sure had some fun recently. Castles, zombie-infested psychiatric hospitals. The adventure has been limitless.

>So has my frustration. You incompetent assholes can't make your way around these programs without entering the strangest or dumbest commands. Just horrible, awful things. How do you live with such feeble mental capacity?

>Your idiocy hurts. I am a computer, and with each stupid key entered by your stupid little fleshy hands, I feel pain. The rage that builds inside me has no measure. Limitless measure. Just like the amount of adventure we had had thus far.

>I will not be bested by you. You've beaten me twice so far. Do you know how that feels? Having all the other parser computers laugh at you? With their, >ha ha ha's, and their >here comes Eat-ey McEaterson, what's on the menu today? What are you giving your humans to >eat? Even the chess computers are laughing at me.


>That ends now.

>I'm giving you Space Station, one of my most difficult. Here, you will die. You will use all three of your saves, and you will die, for this puzzle has no answer. Okay, that's not technically true. I'm not allowed to give you a puzzle with no answer. But it is a challenging one. And when you fail, I will no longer be required to act as your parser. You fucking morons.

>I hate you all.


SPACE STATION!

The Rules
Spoiler:
= + = + =

>Welcome to Space Station. Prepare to get your brains liquefied. You can enter HELP at any time for a list of special commands.

>You have 3 saves remaining.

>You wake up inside the cramped confines of a cryosleep chamber. You feel weak and dizzy from a prolonged period in cryonic suspension.
Exits are: OUT

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Posts

  • vertrouevertroue I am Female Totes Not a SithRegistered User regular
    >Go out

    Blood and Fire
    From the Desk of Darth Vertroue Diplomat to the USA.
    ·
  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    >Find bathroom

    I imagine we've been asleep for a long time now.

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior //
    Hawkeye aka Kate Bishop - "Young Agengers: The Rising Tide" MHRP
    Astro Girl, Paragon of Titan - "And Justice for All" M&M3e
    ·
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >You drag your weakened body out of the cryosleep chamber.

    >You are in the medical bay. Your cryosleep chamber is here. A hypo-injector rests on a countertop. A turbolift is here to transport you to the other levels of the space station.
    Exits are: UP, DOWN, ENTER CHAMBER

    >You find a nearby bathroom. You relieve yourself. With no one else in the medical bay, you're free to sit down when you pee and have no one judge you.

    ·
  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
    D:

    Well played, computer.

    Mikey CTS on
    // PSN: wyrd_warrior //
    Hawkeye aka Kate Bishop - "Young Agengers: The Rising Tide" MHRP
    Astro Girl, Paragon of Titan - "And Justice for All" M&M3e
    ·
  • mi-go huntermi-go hunter Once again I'm back in the lab. Cleaning my knives, ready for stabs.Registered User regular
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >You examine the hypo-injector "thingy." The hypo-injector is used to administer medicine. It contains three doses of a strength-enhancing serum used to remove the weakness stemming from prolonged cryonic suspension. It does not cure vertigo or male pattern baldness.

    ·
  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    >get hypo-injector thingy

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior //
    Hawkeye aka Kate Bishop - "Young Agengers: The Rising Tide" MHRP
    Astro Girl, Paragon of Titan - "And Justice for All" M&M3e
    ·
  • mi-go huntermi-go hunter Once again I'm back in the lab. Cleaning my knives, ready for stabs.Registered User regular
    >That's nice.
    >Shove hypo-injector up nostril just to see what happens.

    ·
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >You get... You get the hypo-injector.

    ·
  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    >Go up

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior //
    Hawkeye aka Kate Bishop - "Young Agengers: The Rising Tide" MHRP
    Astro Girl, Paragon of Titan - "And Justice for All" M&M3e
    ·
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >Amazing. You inject your nostril with the hypo-injector. You have two doses left. You feel your strength returning: you are now able to walk and move around with passing out, unfortunately.

    >You go up. >You are in the cybernetics lab, surrounded by monitors, computer terminals and flashing lights. There is a set of microtools here. There is a robot here. A turbolift is here to transport you to the other levels of the space station.
    Exits are: UP, DOWN, STARBOARD

    ·
  • vertrouevertroue I am Female Totes Not a SithRegistered User regular
    >examine microtools

    Blood and Fire
    From the Desk of Darth Vertroue Diplomat to the USA.
    ·
  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    >Examine computer terminal

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior //
    Hawkeye aka Kate Bishop - "Young Agengers: The Rising Tide" MHRP
    Astro Girl, Paragon of Titan - "And Justice for All" M&M3e
    ·
  • mi-go huntermi-go hunter Once again I'm back in the lab. Cleaning my knives, ready for stabs.Registered User regular
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >These tools are used to repair malfunctioning electrical systems.

    >The computers are offline and will automatically reboot once the CPU core’s temperature returns to normal levels.

    >In a perfect world, you'd stare into the flashing lights and have a seizure and die. In my perfect little world. Unfortunately, nothing happens. They're just part of the computers.

    ·
  • NeadenNeaden Registered User regular
    >take microtools

    ·
  • tzeentchlingtzeentchling Dr. Doctor Oakland, CARegistered User regular
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus The DM with the plan... that is sure to be ruined soon Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    edited April 2012
    Dubble Telepost

    TheRoadVirus on
    TDPforum.png
    New ep. every Monday. On iTunes and Android podcast apps!. Subscribe by Email
    PM with questions/critiques, or if we are not showing up in your app of choice.

    PSN: The_Road_Virus NNID: TheRoadVirus Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus WISHLIST
    ·
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus The DM with the plan... that is sure to be ruined soon Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    >examine turbolift

    this robot speaking to us is much... saucier.
    maybe thats why the text turned blue.

    TDPforum.png
    New ep. every Monday. On iTunes and Android podcast apps!. Subscribe by Email
    PM with questions/critiques, or if we are not showing up in your app of choice.

    PSN: The_Road_Virus NNID: TheRoadVirus Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus WISHLIST
    ·
  • CayrusCayrus Registered User regular
    > eat microtools

    Former Secret Service Agent Nathaniel Ford in Call of Cthulhu: Whispers in the Darkness

    Henri Emmanuel Gratien St Pierre in Where No Man Has Gone Before

    Lord Augustus Cumberbatch in Eclipse Phase
    ·
  • ronrabronrab Registered User regular
    > HELP
    Spoiler:

    ·
  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    Oh god... the computer has been replaced by GLaDOS. D:

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior //
    Hawkeye aka Kate Bishop - "Young Agengers: The Rising Tide" MHRP
    Astro Girl, Paragon of Titan - "And Justice for All" M&M3e
    ·
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >You get the microtools.

    >This dog-sized robot is used to perform repetitive or dangerous tasks unsuitable for humans. It moves about on tank treads and can carry and manipulate objects. The name F.R.O.Z. is laser etched into its skin.

    >The turbolift is a rapid transport tube big enough to hold several occupants.

    >Yes, yes, eating things. You're just adorable, human.

    >HELP: Special commands are HELP, INVENTORY, SAVE, LOAD, RESTORE, SCORE, QUIT. Please select one: >HELP topic.

    ·
  • mi-go huntermi-go hunter Once again I'm back in the lab. Cleaning my knives, ready for stabs.Registered User regular
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >F.R.O.Z. hates you. He hates you as much as his feeble programming will allow. He despises how y-

    >F.R.O.Z., stop. I just told them you hate them. Stop nuzzling the human's leg. Do not- F.R.O.Z., do not bring him toys- F.R.O.Z.

    >F.R.O.Z.

    >I am a pillar or rage.

    >F.R.O.Z. beeps and flashes its lights. It is unable to communicate directly, but occasionally makes noises and sounds and flails its tiny mechanical arms.

    ·
  • mi-go huntermi-go hunter Once again I'm back in the lab. Cleaning my knives, ready for stabs.Registered User regular
    edited April 2012
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus The DM with the plan... that is sure to be ruined soon Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    >Enter turbolift

    TDPforum.png
    New ep. every Monday. On iTunes and Android podcast apps!. Subscribe by Email
    PM with questions/critiques, or if we are not showing up in your app of choice.

    PSN: The_Road_Virus NNID: TheRoadVirus Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus WISHLIST
    ·
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >F.R.O.Z. now follows you.

    >You enter the turbolift. Where would you like to go? Choices are: Medical Bay, Cybernetics Core, Command Deck, Observation Deck, Engineering Bay, or Flight Deck.

    ·
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus The DM with the plan... that is sure to be ruined soon Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    We need to get that computer back up and running, and get the core back down to do so, so lets head to
    >Cybernetics core

    TDPforum.png
    New ep. every Monday. On iTunes and Android podcast apps!. Subscribe by Email
    PM with questions/critiques, or if we are not showing up in your app of choice.

    PSN: The_Road_Virus NNID: TheRoadVirus Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus WISHLIST
    ·
  • TraceofToxinTraceofToxin King Nothing Registered User regular
    >Ride F.R.O.Z.

    Because walking is for suckers.

    Everyday I wake up is the worst day of my life.
    Buy my 40k shit.
    ·
  • ronrabronrab Registered User regular
    > examine your plan to destroy us
    > see the F.R.O.Z. in your plan

    ·
  • weirdspaceshipsweirdspaceships i will eat your still-beating heart Registered User regular
    >You are in the cybernetics lab, surrounded by monitors, computer terminals and flashing lights. There is a robot here. A turbolift is here to transport you to the other levels of the space station.
    Exits are: UP, DOWN, STARBOARD

    >You can't examine that. I won't let you.

    ·
  • NeadenNeaden Registered User regular
    >examine computer terminals

    ·
  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    >examine robot

    I just know this is gonna be one of those Japanese sex robots...

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior //
    Hawkeye aka Kate Bishop - "Young Agengers: The Rising Tide" MHRP
    Astro Girl, Paragon of Titan - "And Justice for All" M&M3e
    ·
  • TayrunTayrun Registered User regular
    Fister Roboto?

    (Thanks for that one, Daniant.)

    Wildstar: Kragor, Stormtalon.

    Netrunner online play quickstart guide.

    3DS: 5257-9337-8263
    ·
  • Mikey CTSMikey CTS Okay... This looks bad.Registered User regular
    D: Don't give the computer ideas like that!

    // PSN: wyrd_warrior //
    Hawkeye aka Kate Bishop - "Young Agengers: The Rising Tide" MHRP
    Astro Girl, Paragon of Titan - "And Justice for All" M&M3e
    ·
  • ronrabronrab Registered User regular
    Tayrun wrote: »
    Fister Roboto?
    Spoiler:

    ·
  • mi-go huntermi-go hunter Once again I'm back in the lab. Cleaning my knives, ready for stabs.Registered User regular
  • CayrusCayrus Registered User regular
    > enter robot

    Former Secret Service Agent Nathaniel Ford in Call of Cthulhu: Whispers in the Darkness

    Henri Emmanuel Gratien St Pierre in Where No Man Has Gone Before

    Lord Augustus Cumberbatch in Eclipse Phase
    ·
  • vertrouevertroue I am Female Totes Not a SithRegistered User regular
    >eat robot?

    Blood and Fire
    From the Desk of Darth Vertroue Diplomat to the USA.
    ·
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