Eating For Charity

facetious

So you may be aware that the Solid Saints auction took place recently in aid of Child's Play. Well, @ceres came up with a wonderful* idea for a pool auction: she asked various forumers to put themselves to the task of an eating competition. We collaborated to create a 'menu', with various intervals for amount raised incurring additional tasks. Ultimately we raised enough for two tiers: tier one was 2 lbs. of french fries, tier two was 50 chicken nuggets.

The gauntlet was laid. Smack was talked. And then stomachs were assaulted.

I'll let the others post their videos, but here are mine:

Challenge 1: French Fries

This video is awful, and not just because it's some dude stuffing his face. I screwed up in pretty much every way conceivable - from accidentally turning off my camera and missing the first three minutes of my attempt, to terrible framing, to.. well the fact that I just plain (spoilers!) failed at the challenge when I threw up. Huzzah!



Challenge 2: Chicken Nuggets.

I was very confident about this, even in the wake of my previous failure. But though I worked out the technical issues from the first video, it was still ultimately (spoilerth!) a failure. I thought I had a pretty good pace going on early, though! And this time you could actually see that part!



So yeah. I got to make myself look even more dumb than usual for charity. A fair enough tradeoff, I suppose.

*it seemed slightly less wonderful when it actually came time to perform the challenges.

Lost Salient

Dear god that is so many french fries, facetious.

ChicoBlue

Good lord.

godmode

Yes, my child?

Blake T

Sorry is charity hot or.....?

Weaver

People fucking up their own bodies is not a good way to encourage charity.

Blake T

Charity must have been in an accident or something.

Couldn't eat or something.

Blake T

I'm gonna ride this joke all night long.

Much like I hear, how Charity likes it.

Weaver

Some people have fucked up bodies! Let's shove stupid amounts of shit food down my gullet hole!

Oh god why do I feel like shit?

alternatingAberration

Chill out man.

Blake T

Weaver is just jealous that charity doesn't like him.

Weaver

The only stripper name I can remember from back when I was fresh out of high school is "Mercedes".

Ubik

burgin for change

Ubik

Gatsby

Ubik wrote: »

???

TheStig

Weaver wrote: »

People fucking up their own bodies is not a good way to encourage charity.

Yeah, fuck charity marathons.

Druhim

I think it's more that most people don't really see the point of paying money to see some dudes stuff their faces with food.

Arang

and blood drives!

Ubik

i don't see the point in paying some dude $1 per mile

i aint even gonna see the race

oh wait the point is charity

TheStig

Druhim wrote: »

I think it's more that most people don't really see the point of paying money to see some dudes stuff their faces with food.

paying them to stuff it with other things was working, food seemed like a natural progression

Fandyien

more like

harrison burgeron

Fearghaill

Druhim wrote: »

I think it's more that most people don't really see the point of paying money to see some dudes stuff their faces with food.

yeah, but as I understand it some people did see the point, and did pay money. So complaining about it being pointless now seems kind of weird, the charity already won.

Rankenphile

this is gross and you are gross but people telling you you are wrong for being gross are the dumbest

Zonugal

I for one love eating for charity.

It is a bold move made by bold people.

Eat on you warrior of worlds.

Zay

"if you give to charity you're a bad person" - awful people

Shorty

Ubik wrote: »

oh, riotcow

Druhim

I don't think anyone's saying anyone's bad for giving to a charity at all. But this was a charity auction which means that people are putting up stuff that people would actually want to bid on. That's how charity auctions work. So yeah, it may be for charity but if someone puts up a bag of their feces then that's totally cool and people would bid on that just because it's charity? I was just pointing out this was an auction that was pretty much ignored until right before closing, so I maintain that people generally do not really care about dudes stuffing food in their faces whether charity is involved or not.

Kuribo's Shoe

retake burg effect

Shorty

too busy choomin'

Baidol

Druhim wrote: »

I don't think anyone's saying anyone's bad for giving to a charity at all. But this was a charity auction which means that people are putting up stuff that people would actually want to bid on. That's how charity auctions work. So yeah, it may be for charity but if someone puts up a bag of their feces then that's totally cool and people would bid on that just because it's charity? I was just pointing out this was an auction that was pretty much ignored until right before closing, so I maintain that people generally do not really care about dudes stuffing food in their faces whether charity is involved or not.

Then I guess you are free to suggest or participate in other activities next year?

Ubik

now i just want some nuggz

JayKaos

What you guys are forgetting is that nobody bidded on these things to see people succeed. People put money up in order to watch them fail and suffer, and enjoying other people's misery has always been an enormous industry.

Kuribo's Shoe

In the year 2148, explorers on Mars discovered the remains of an ancient burgermaking civilization. In the decades that followed, these mysterious artifacts revealed startling new technologies, enabling burgin' to the furthest stars. The basis for this incredible technology was a force that controlled the very fabric of meat and cheese. They called it the greatest discovery in human history. The civilizations of the galaxy call it... BURG EFFECT.

Ubik

you know, that movie Super Size Me had some real good ideas about eating McDonald's all the time cause it's delicious

i wonder how deliciously it turned out

oh well, off to McDonald's!

Druhim

Baidol wrote: »

Druhim wrote: »

I don't think anyone's saying anyone's bad for giving to a charity at all. But this was a charity auction which means that people are putting up stuff that people would actually want to bid on. That's how charity auctions work. So yeah, it may be for charity but if someone puts up a bag of their feces then that's totally cool and people would bid on that just because it's charity? I was just pointing out this was an auction that was pretty much ignored until right before closing, so I maintain that people generally do not really care about dudes stuffing food in their faces whether charity is involved or not.

Then I guess you are free to suggest or participate in other activities next year?

Absolutely! And they're also free to do another eating contest next year. Again, I'm not saying they're the next internet Hitler for holding an eating contest. I'm just suggesting that it's not a thing people really cared that much about. But feel free to think I'm outraged, or get outraged at my imagined outrage if it helps. Outrage and moral indignation for everyone!

Shorty

Druhim wrote: »

Baidol wrote: »

Druhim wrote: »

I don't think anyone's saying anyone's bad for giving to a charity at all. But this was a charity auction which means that people are putting up stuff that people would actually want to bid on. That's how charity auctions work. So yeah, it may be for charity but if someone puts up a bag of their feces then that's totally cool and people would bid on that just because it's charity? I was just pointing out this was an auction that was pretty much ignored until right before closing, so I maintain that people generally do not really care about dudes stuffing food in their faces whether charity is involved or not.

Then I guess you are free to suggest or participate in other activities next year?

Absolutely! And they're also free to do another eating contest next year. Again, I'm not saying they're the next internet Hitler for holding an eating contest. I'm just suggesting that it's not a thing people really cared that much about. But feel free to think I'm outraged, or get outraged at my imagined outrage if it helps. Outrage and moral indignation for everyone!

whoa

WHOA

you need to calm down

Ubik

Druhim wrote: »

Baidol wrote: »

Druhim wrote: »

I don't think anyone's saying anyone's bad for giving to a charity at all. But this was a charity auction which means that people are putting up stuff that people would actually want to bid on. That's how charity auctions work. So yeah, it may be for charity but if someone puts up a bag of their feces then that's totally cool and people would bid on that just because it's charity? I was just pointing out this was an auction that was pretty much ignored until right before closing, so I maintain that people generally do not really care about dudes stuffing food in their faces whether charity is involved or not.

Then I guess you are free to suggest or participate in other activities next year?

Absolutely! And they're also free to do another eating contest next year. Again, I'm not saying they're the next internet Hitler for holding an eating contest. I'm just suggesting that it's not a thing people really cared that much about. But feel free to think I'm outraged, or get outraged at my imagined outrage if it helps. Outrage and moral indignation for everyone!

The Geek

Ubik wrote: »

now i just want some nuggz

Would you settle for some Thugs and Lugz?

The Geek

Or how about Suggs?

Druhim

Ubik wrote: »

Druhim wrote: »

Baidol wrote: »

Druhim wrote: »

I don't think anyone's saying anyone's bad for giving to a charity at all. But this was a charity auction which means that people are putting up stuff that people would actually want to bid on. That's how charity auctions work. So yeah, it may be for charity but if someone puts up a bag of their feces then that's totally cool and people would bid on that just because it's charity? I was just pointing out this was an auction that was pretty much ignored until right before closing, so I maintain that people generally do not really care about dudes stuffing food in their faces whether charity is involved or not.

Then I guess you are free to suggest or participate in other activities next year?

Absolutely! And they're also free to do another eating contest next year. Again, I'm not saying they're the next internet Hitler for holding an eating contest. I'm just suggesting that it's not a thing people really cared that much about. But feel free to think I'm outraged, or get outraged at my imagined outrage if it helps. Outrage and moral indignation for everyone!

I'm chill broheim

The Geek

Would you like to eat some nuggz?

Would you eat them on some rugs?