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Awesome: 'D'aww [chat]' by Organichu
I guess I don't really understand
to me, it's like if you are really boring and no one wants to invite you to parties
and then you read some books and learn some jokes and get interesting and suddenly you are the life of the party
cool! you improved yourself and people responded!
I would think this would be pleasing
the treatment you receive from others- when you're very fat- is hard to explain. it's incredibly humiliating. at least with boring people they can be regarded as equals until they open their mouths. when you're super fat, people's eyes just glide over you. it's like you're not there. i can't really describe it adequately. hundreds of times a day someone instantaneously appraises you and then looks away. i'm not just talking about hot ladies. and the people who do talk to you often make light of it in ways that are seemingly harmless. look how many overweight teenagers turn to being the 'funny fat kid' and pulling up their shirts and shit. that's not fun socialization- it's not their way of fitting in. it's intensely embarrassing and painful, but sometimes the only way to get people to look at us.
i'm not trying to sound like a martyr. i'm fat because i eat too much- so much that even though i'm an active person and i like exercising, it's not enough. and i think i'm pretty charming and funny. i'd rather be me than a boring dude or a dumb dude.
but it still sucks really badly in a way that is complicated and too nuanced to express correctly. i dunno. of course it's better (for me, anyway- not gonna speak for everyone) to be thin than fat. i am glad that my life gets better in a lot of ways when i watch my weight. but at least in terms of socialization, it is incredibly demoralizing and at times infuriating to go from feeling like a circus bear to a human being. it's like, no, fuck you. i was a human being the entire time.