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Awesome: 'D'aww [chat]' by Organichu
Organichu
Registered User regular
Registered User regular
Eddy likes this Post written by Organichu
about a year ago
"I'm not fat myself, but this was very well-written on the topic of being fat in a world that judges you for it."
skippydumptruck wrote: »I guess I don't really understand
to me, it's like if you are really boring and no one wants to invite you to parties
and then you read some books and learn some jokes and get interesting and suddenly you are the life of the party
cool! you improved yourself and people responded!
I would think this would be pleasing
the treatment you receive from others- when you're very fat- is hard to explain. it's incredibly humiliating. at least with boring people they can be regarded as equals until they open their mouths. when you're super fat, people's eyes just glide over you. it's like you're not there. i can't really describe it adequately. hundreds of times a day someone instantaneously appraises you and then looks away. i'm not just talking about hot ladies. and the people who do talk to you often make light of it in ways that are seemingly harmless. look how many overweight teenagers turn to being the 'funny fat kid' and pulling up their shirts and shit. that's not fun socialization- it's not their way of fitting in. it's intensely embarrassing and painful, but sometimes the only way to get people to look at us.
i'm not trying to sound like a martyr. i'm fat because i eat too much- so much that even though i'm an active person and i like exercising, it's not enough. and i think i'm pretty charming and funny. i'd rather be me than a boring dude or a dumb dude.
but it still sucks really badly in a way that is complicated and too nuanced to express correctly. i dunno. of course it's better (for me, anyway- not gonna speak for everyone) to be thin than fat. i am glad that my life gets better in a lot of ways when i watch my weight. but at least in terms of socialization, it is incredibly demoralizing and at times infuriating to go from feeling like a circus bear to a human being. it's like, no, fuck you. i was a human being the entire time.
Posts
edit: huh, odd that this was posted twice...
Other than tabloids I've never seen anyone been given shit for being skinny (though I know that's a thing).
But everyone everywhere gives you shit for being fat. Even other fat people.
Tall people are generally treated with more respect and are paid more attention. Short people get it almost as bad as fat people, yes. Being bald or ginger or blonde or skinny gets nowhere near the treatment of being overweight, especially if someone is significantly overweight. They are treated as subhuman. Dumb blonde jokes, stupid as they are, don't really compare.
Why do you think that is, though? Why is weight so much different than height, hair color, or any other characteristic related to personal appearance? Is it that most of the other examples you named are things that the individual cannot help? Whereas being significantly overweight is something that that person could supposedly readily address? In terms of perception, is it that the fat person is assumed to be "too lazy" or "lack the discipline" to not overeat, regardless of the reality of the situation?
In other words, does fatness immediately impugn that person's work ethic or sense of self respect in the eyes of others, because there is this whole bundle of other snap judgments that tag along with whatever would possess somebody to treat an overweight person as subhuman?
I'd say people treat fat people just as poorly as they do drug addicts. I know I could be thinner if I made better choices. And that's where this bile comes from.
"Why can't you just eat less, fatty?"
Though, i actually enjoy being a large guy. The last thing I need is plane seats to be like 2 inches bigger and I'm gravy.
Like, really gravy.
My wife is overweight, and was shopping at walmart with our 18 month old daughter. Daughter got hungry, so they went over to the in-store McDonalds so they had a place to sit.
Wife goes and orders herself a diet coke, and takes out an avocado she brought as a snack for our daughter.
Guy comes into the McDonalds, looks at her, and starts yelling at her about how she's going to screw up our daughter and have her end up fat by eating at McDonalds just like she did. So much so the guy gets tossed out by the Mcdonald's staff.
We don't eat at McDonalds ever. My wife eats incredibly healthily, as does our daughter. My daughter is in the 80th percentile for height and 50th percentile for weight for her age, so if anything she's a bit skinny.
But just being in a McDonalds when you're fat is enough for some people to start making assumptions and judging you. I am pretty sure nobody is going to do this kind of judging because you're tall or have red hair.
My grade school self can vouch for this.
naw you gay, bro
My problem was always personal. A noticable sense of shame whenever clothes don't fit like they used to, whenever it's time to get a new chair because the old one is falling apart, whenever I run out of slack on a seat belt before I've buckled myself in, etc. It's uncomfortable, but I have a big list of problems that I am trying to address, and my weight is not really that huge a concern when I've got bigger, deeper problems that contribute to a number of problems, including the weight, that I have to come to terms with.
Also, I don't really hate myself over that sort of thing like I used to. I just
That being said, I've always been the type who functioned just fine as long as people don't fuck with me. Being 6'1", 315 lbs, and having a full beard means nobody wants to screw with the oversized hairy man, I am just fine with that.
It's tough to get over
I know I've been guilty of this sort of thinking across a wide range of behaviors. I've learned to counter these snap judgments by coming up with hypothetical reasons that mitigate the assumptions behind them. Maybe that large man eating at McDonalds used to be 100 lbs heavier and has been on a crazy diet. He is celebrating his milestone, or it's his cheat day, etc.
Doing this consistently has made me a much less cynical person. I've gotten to the point where I generally assume that people have a good reason for doing what they are doing, even if it isn't readily apparent. Which is...refreshing. Even if they later prove me wrong, it is a much healthier state of mind.
A lot of people probably see both as very similarly...taking away the legality factor.
People definitely judge overweight people...even if it's just by a look and that obviously is shitty (that McDonalds story is awful!).
I'm tall and skinny (6'9" and 190lbs) so I can't speak on the overweight part, but being tall has gotten me picked on as a kid in school (I think it was more from jealousy though), but as an adult people definitely don't really do anything mean. I'll just get comments like "Your mom needs to feed you!" and "I bet you play basketball!". So people judge me too...they judge everyone, it's just the situation that determines if the judging is positive or negative