Last night I got home from work after closing by myself with the intention of eating some fried rice, watching Parks and Rec, and staying up until I got paid so I could go get McDonalds and be happy.
Got home, went and put my things in the bathroom and then went to heat up my fried rice so I could eat it while I showered.
On my walk back to the bathroom my foot caught on something and I tripped. "Egads!" I proclaimed, looking down to see that I tripped on a very pointy piece of ceramic. I did a quick check of my foot to see if I was bleeding because I am paranoid about this sort of thing.
Bleeding! Lots. I run to the bathroom and wrap it in toilet paper while I look for bandages or a first aid kit before I remember that my roommate and I are HARD AS FUCK and don't have either of those things. I wash it and can't see any ceramic in the cut but it's pretty deep. Doesn't stop bleeding. At this point my friend comes over and takes a look at it and says "yeah we need to clot that" so we jerry rig a band aid out of toilet paper and electrical tape, elevate it, and ask my roommate to bring gauze and band aids on the way home. I take three shots of Jack Danield and crack a beer to help the pain, which I'm now learning is actually not what you should do when you're severely bleeding, but being HARD AS FUCK it felt appropriate.
Cue two hours later, we're about ready to go to the hospital, and the bleeding suddenly stops. Hooray! We wrap it nice and tight (apparently too tight) and I go to bed.
Wake up, check the cut, immediately starts bleeding. "Egads" I say as I quickly wrap it too tight again. At this point i do what any sensible HARD AS FUCK man would do and i drove to my mom's house. She inspects the cut and gets me to bite down on some towels while she opens it to peek for glass. "Egads" says my mother, who quickly wraps it properly and says 'yeah we're gonna go get you some stitches now, you appear I have severed the vein and I think there's still glass inside'.
Now I'm at thebh
Posts
Now I'm at the hospital! Making a post from my phone. Please use this thread to cheer me up, talk about a time when a cat has ruined your life, find creative ways to kill the cat, or give me some ideas as to what to blow my paycheck on!
Blow your paycheck on your medical bill.
Also we can play some Hero Academy if you're bored.
this is the best i can do re; cheering up
Yes
much like the hospital
You are now Jon Arbuckle in my mind. I was going to post a garfield strip here to back this up but I can't find one of him breaking vases so just... picture that as your entertainment.
man raijin that stone cold blows.
I commend you, I probably would've done the same thing! Sucks though.
Last night there were some hellacious rains going on and the water wasn't draining from behind the house, so it pooled up and started coming in through the backdoor, spreading out across half the living room. The water was over my ankles during the heaviest rains. The "backyard" is 2 feet of sidewalk, then a rockwall, which creates a convenient sluice for all the water to run down right by the door.
Went outside, got some bricks and rocks, shored them up in front of the door, then got a bucket and started bailing water away from the door in the pouring fucking rain, for like an hour. Shit sucked.
i did have to be HARD AS FUCK for my gf a few years ago when she sliced her thumb wide open with a paring knife. boy howdy did a lot of blood come out of that thumb
Then cut off the wounded extremity
And Cauterize it.
This is the best possible ending to a story that involves a lot of blood loss.
You shouldn't have posted again for at least a day.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Except my non-cut hand was super swollen due to mosquito attacks
So i shoved the bloody hand in my maw out of stupid instinct
The receptionist at the walk in asked me if i was bleeding
Hope you feel better
And um
Feel better
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Thus concludes my contribution to this thread about injuries sustained and suffered in whiny, complaining, and childlike fashionsuitably manly silence.
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
and then i bled all over a chem lab because i didn't realize it was bleeding that bad until i noticed my pant leg was warm from all the blood
I used a rag and some duct tape and drove myself to the hospital, which was about 45 mins away.
I don't really have anything to compare it to, having been lucky in the outcomes of the few dangerous stunts that I did attempt while growing up. I've only been to the ER once, and it was a false alarm. Took a soccer ball to the nose and the trainer thought it was broken. She didn't realize that my nose always looks that way, minus the blood pouring out of it.
Suffice to say, fuck that, Dan. I bet that tickled
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
I am a total wuss.
It's a well known fact that all cats try to kill their owners with regularity. They are just really really bad at it.