A JRPG where you wash up on the beach with amnesia and every single person you talk to makes a point of informing you that everything you've heard up until this point has been a lie.
I'd go the opposite way. You have all your memories, all the way back to when you were 6 months old, in perfect photo-realistic detail. Everyone else on the planet, however, has amnesia. Not because of some nefarious world-ending scheme. Just cuz they do. And you spend the entire game trying to figure out why they have it and how they fix it, but you never know where to go cuz none of the npcs can give you directions. The game will have a 'this sucks' command that will show the end credits whenever you feel like quitting.
Houk the Namebringer on
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jungleroomxIt's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovelsRegistered Userregular
edited March 2007
You are a normal person. You live in the city of Metro City (originally called New Nuremberg, but changed for PC reasons) and there's some wild psycho walking around the streets, beating up people for no reason, digging hams and chicken wings out of trash cans and has the ability to make any barrel blow up.
So, you decide to stop the person.
You go out, with no fighting experience and the gun aiming capabilities of an epileptic drunk in the middle of an earthquake at a strobe light party. You will be repeatedly beaten down by the psycho (as he re-heals himself constantly, he even gets extra lives in the form of a small doll that looks like himself) but fortunately, you have one weapon:
You can stand at the correct ledge and knock the psycho down the hill with a well placed hit.
Picks up from the end of the first game. This time you play Pey'j. Half pig, half Domz with the attitude to match. Using his advanced mechanical skills he's crafted a battle armour suit as fine as his witty one liners. By witty I mean shit.
A large amount of my budget has been blown on market research tagetting those who didn't like the original Beyond Good and Evil. Thus the sequal is a first person shooter set on the Domz homeworld. The homeworld is green, thus keeping a spiritual link to the original. There are hundreds of NPCs to interact with. By interact I mean shoot.
Over 25 different weapons can be attached to the battle suit. Although only one at a time. A 3 level invintory system has to be navigated every time you wantto change a weapon. The unused weapons are automaticaly discarded in a random direction. The menu automatically opens whenever you move over an item.
Pey'j utters a one-liner everytime he kills an enemy, of which there are hundreds on screen at any one time. There's only 3 samples and each are a minute long so they'll layer ontop of each with a couple of dozens samples playing over each other constantly.
All set aginst a rap-rock music background that can't be muted.
If that isn't the greatest disapointment of all time I don't know what would be.
Warrior Within! lol
I fail to see how the impractical menus correlate. But as for the rest, good show.
How about Cannibal! The Musical, The Game! You could play the role of Alferd Packer in an attempt to find love and gold in the mountains of Colorado, all the while abstaining from eating your fellow man. HOW LONG WILL YOU LAST???
How about Cannibal! The Musical, The Game! You could play the role of Alferd Packer in an attempt to find love and gold in the mountains of Colorado, all the while abstaining from eating your fellow man. HOW LONG WILL YOU LAST???
And whatever you do, DON'T BUILD A SNOWMAN!
128 Player Online play! Will you be the last person not to have to resort to eating your fellow man? Fully Customizable Pee In The Snow (PITS) signature system!
What's worse than playing Trivial Pursuit in Hindi? Playing a Japanese TV gameshow version on your consoles. In America, you reward intelligence but in Japan, they punish ignorance.
How many tears will you shed when you're locked up in a virtual house with eight other people? None? Just know the person that produces the most tears at the end of the week wins a cash prize. Find onions to help your score but hide all sources of water to dehydrate your opponents. Westerners can't stand Japanese TV but can you imagine if it were interactive? Madness!
What's worse than playing Trivial Pursuit in Hindi? Playing a Japanese TV gameshow version on your consoles. In America, you reward intelligence but in Japan, they punish ignorance.
How many tears will you shed when you're locked up in a virtual house with eight other people? None? Just know the person that produces the most tears at the end of the week wins a cash prize. Find onions to help your score but hide all sources of water to dehydrate your opponents. Westerners can't stand Japanese TV but can you imagine if it were interactive? Madness!
Wow. I just read the whole entry on Nasubi, the guy who was locked in a room for over a year, with nothing (not even clothes or food) except what he could win by sending post cards in to win contests. WTF. I've been to Japan and Korea, but I had no idea they were that fucked up. It's like the Truman Show, but run by Satan. Oh, and then they did it to him again, but because he did a good job, they kept raising the bar. Satan, I tell you.
schmads on
Battle.net/SC2: Kwisatz.868 | Steam/XBL/PSN/Gamecenter: schmads | BattleTag/D3: Schmads#1144 | Hero Academy & * With Friends: FallenKwisatz | 3DS: 4356-0128-9671
I remember that. Wasn't that more of a voluntary experiment, rather than a TV show, though? I seem to remember it was televised as an afterthought, but the focus was on whether it was possible to do such a thing.
It may be how I chose to remember it rather than what it actually was, though.
Willeth on
@vgreminders - Don't miss out on timed events in gaming! @gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
Long, boring, unskippable cutscenes... especially whenever you die, or respawn or load or whatever.
Every time you bump into a wall, your character automatically backs up on their own, but taking about 3 seconds to do so... and when they finally back up they are facing the wrong direction, and you are likely to bump into the wall again.
Save points at inconvenient spots, for example you can save after a really easy point in the game... but there are no save points for 20 minutes after that super hard boss.
really bad camera angles.
have a really long boring dialog, and after the dialog quiz the player to see if they actually paid attention. Have a lot of questions on the quiz, and don't tell them which ones they got wrong. If they got any wrong, send them back to the beginning of the dialog to try again. But make the rest of the game really fun, so they actually want to continue.
This thread is full of awesome. I'm at work atm, so I don't have a lot of time to think about it, but off the top of my head - the controls should be beyond broken. For example, on screen instructions (Press "X" to jump) should be incorrectly mapped, so even though the game tells you that X is jump, it's actually square. The player would have to figure this out on their own, and re-mapping the controls in the options should not have any effect at all. You could remove the mapping options screen entirely, but that's part of the fun, since you are trying to frustrate the player beyond reason.
Imagine a game where the main character is trapped in a hallway with an endless stretch of locked doors. You have to try to open the doors in a certain order through trial and error. Each time you incorrectly try the wrong door, the door sequence is randomized.
And for the hell of it, let's add in a 1 second random battle encounter that take up to 10 minutes to finish. What is the reward for finishing such an aggravating a game? A coupon code for the upcoming sequel.
It's taking elements of FF7 and shoving them through the hyperbole device to make something that makes one scream
Pretty much, though I tacked on a few unrelated things to make it worse. Sorry if it came off as a "LOL KIDTENDO/HALO/SONY SUX" level of fanboyism and hatred
Imagine a game where the main character is trapped in a hallway with an endless stretch of locked doors. You have to try to open the doors in a certain order through trial and error. Each time you incorrectly try the wrong door, the door sequence is randomized.
And for the hell of it, let's add in a 1 second random battle encounter that take up to 10 minutes to finish. What is the reward for finishing such an aggravating a game? A coupon code for the upcoming sequel.
The coupon for a discounted sequel is the best ending in this thread. Especially if this is a console game ... leaving no way to print the damn thing out from your TV.
How about a SRPG in which everything is painful and makes absolutely no sense?
Axes would deal double damage in the hands of a soldier, be super effective against swords in the hands of a warrior, and heal the target in the hands of a fighter. After every attack, you would have a |attacker's level - defender's level| * 10% chance of switching weapons with a completely random opponent. Healers would only know fire magic, and fire mages would know the ultimate ice spell but would only be able to learn it by gaining experience through casting spells that boost the power of opponents.
After killing an enemy, you would have to spend an action the next turn to gain the experience from the kill, which would be interrupted by anyone on your team attacking or being attacked, losing you any benefits from the kill. A unit would get a movement bonus if it has an ally one square above or below it at the start of your turn, and a movement penalty if it has an ally one square to its right or left. If it has an ally in either diagonal file at the start of your turn, the unit dies.
A console version of IdleRPG for the 360. It'd monitor your voice and message usage, and while having your 360 off counts as being idle, for every second that it's not your most recently played game, it adds a second to your timer. Controller inputs obviously interrupt it.
The best thing is that you're never given any explanation for how to play or progress.
Willeth on
@vgreminders - Don't miss out on timed events in gaming! @gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
Story
It's is the 2XXX, you are a genetically-engineered supersoldier who wakes up in an abandoned lab with no idea who he is. You wander a city torn by gang warfare trying to discover your history and purpose.
....30 hours of gameplay later, you still have no clue. To Be Contined (over the course of countless downloadable extra chapters that cost $30 apiece).
Gameplay
The game is played as a third-person beat-em-up.
You move with the left analog stick and attack by flicking the right analog stick. However, no matter what direction you move the right analog, you always attack in the direction you're facing. Moving the right analog in different ways produces different attacks, (attack inputs come in the form of 30, 60, 90, and 180 degree rotations of the right analog stick) but you have to move it relative to how you're facing the enemy relative to how you're facing the camera (hold L1 to activate the "cinematic camera lock-on" mode, which constantly repositions to get the "best" view of the action).
You also have supersoldier powers. Holding L2 activates a bullet-time mode in which everything moves slower (including yourself). All that happens is that everything is more slow, giving you...I dunno, more reaction time I guess. You can also activate a special move by pressing the right analog stick. This damages (though not at much as you'd expect) and knocks down all the enemies in the area. It takes roughly 20 kills to build up this attack.
The enemies primarily attack with punches and kicks. The blocking in this game works differently in other games. (It has more depth.) Whenever an enemy attacks, a picture of one of the face buttons (circle, triangle, square, or X) will appear over their head. You must push this face button before the enemy connects in order to block. Later enemies will display their face buttons without color, or with only the color, or with one shape but a different color (in which case you must press the face button of the same COLOR, not shape) in order to make things a bit more tricky.
Some enemies drop guns which you can pick up. You use these guns in a first-person aim mode. You can't move while aiming and the right analog stick (used to aim) is very oversensiti...I mean...responsive. Where you shoot an enemy doesn't matter. Through the head or through the hand, it all does the same amount of damage. Guns can't be reloaded and don't disappear when you run out of ammo (you have to drop them manually, which is more realistic).
The game is broken into stages. While you go different places, they all look and feel roughly the same (it is the same city, after all). At the end of every fourth stage you fight an "Ultra Thug" who takes many hits to kill (but, in all other respects, is essentially a regular enemy). At the end of each stage. You're awarded skill points which allows you to increase your strength, speed, or defense (you MUST choose one). But don't get too cocky. Enemies increase in power, too, at about the same rate you do. Also, the game's linear structure means you can't go back to stages you've completed without starting a new file.
As you play through levels, you collect money from fallen enemies as well as smashing crates and other objects in levels. This money can be spent on "clones," which are your continues. If you die, you must have enough money to buy a clone in order to continue (how much a clone costs increases with each stage). If you don't have enough, you must return to your last save. You're only allowed to save after boss battles. If you get sent back to your last save in this way, you lose all your money.
One final note. In some levels, you must escort a scientist to the end of the level as enemies try to attack him. He dies in one hit, so you must remain vigilant.
Graphics
The game goes for realism, which means everything is gray and brown with trash everywhere (cause it's the future). All animations are fully motion captured which means they're beautiful to look at even if they are cumbersome to use. At the beginning of each stage and before each boss fight there is a cutscene (unskippable, 1-3 minutes) which slowly reveals the story (but, of course, not too much). These cut-scenes use in-game graphics, but after each boss battle there is a seperate cut scene (unskippable, 2-6 minutes) rendered in the form of comic book panels which reveals even more.
Sound
The game features a hardcore, brutal death-metal soundtrack (cause it's the future) in every level, and every menu, all the time. There's no voice acting in the cut-scenes, which is an artistic choice (gives it a comic-book feel). All the enemies and bosses use the same few voice actors during gameplay.
The game retails for $60.00 (plus $30.00 x infinity for extra chapters).
Rocketlex on
While you were asleep, your windows told me all your secrets.
I'd base the game on the novel "Big Apple Takedown," published by the WWE. A combination RTS/FPS/cooking simulator with a highly detailed costume creation system that doesn't work because the overall graphics are based on the classic game Lemonade Stand.
The tutorial will be a simulation of the joke featured in The Aristocrats, acted out by the Spirit Squad and Carrot Top.
The game will only run on a proprietary operation system, and will format your hard drive before installation in order to install that operating system, which was programmed in Korean then translated into English by someone who only speaks French.
I'd base the game on the novel "Big Apple Takedown," published by the WWE. A combination RTS/FPS/cooking simulator with a highly detailed costume creation system that doesn't work because the overall graphics are based on the classic game Lemonade Stand.
Wait, what?
WWE fans can't read.
MuddBudd on
There's no plan, there's no race to be run
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
I'd make a game where you play as a jewish nigga in a world where the United States lost the Civil War and the Nazi's won WW2. You are being opressed by the man and one day they take away your house, so you have to climb all the way to the top of a nazi fortress and punch out hitler and robert E lee. Along the way you also have to eat food like fried chicken and bagels but also go to the bathroom and stuff to stay alive. If you die you die forever and have to start over from level 1. Every so often Confederate Nazi police will stop you on the street and take away all your items and weapons. You will also have to play rap mini-games where you spit out fat beats and imitate a dreidel by breakdancing. Along the way almost every single NPC will ask if you want to give up your quest. If you say yes, then game over and you win! If you say no, you can continue all the way up until you punch out hitler and Robert E Lee, at which point you will actually die and get a game over and have to start over.
How about a SRPG in which everything is painful and makes absolutely no sense?
Axes would deal double damage in the hands of a soldier, be super effective against swords in the hands of a warrior, and heal the target in the hands of a fighter. After every attack, you would have a |attacker's level - defender's level| * 10% chance of switching weapons with a completely random opponent. Healers would only know fire magic, and fire mages would know the ultimate ice spell but would only be able to learn it by gaining experience through casting spells that boost the power of opponents.
After killing an enemy, you would have to spend an action the next turn to gain the experience from the kill, which would be interrupted by anyone on your team attacking or being attacked, losing you any benefits from the kill. A unit would get a movement bonus if it has an ally one square above or below it at the start of your turn, and a movement penalty if it has an ally one square to its right or left. If it has an ally in either diagonal file at the start of your turn, the unit dies.
And every character needs a poorly written life story about how they ran away from home at an early age. Like seven.
How about a SRPG in which everything is painful and makes absolutely no sense?
Axes would deal double damage in the hands of a soldier, be super effective against swords in the hands of a warrior, and heal the target in the hands of a fighter. After every attack, you would have a |attacker's level - defender's level| * 10% chance of switching weapons with a completely random opponent. Healers would only know fire magic, and fire mages would know the ultimate ice spell but would only be able to learn it by gaining experience through casting spells that boost the power of opponents.
After killing an enemy, you would have to spend an action the next turn to gain the experience from the kill, which would be interrupted by anyone on your team attacking or being attacked, losing you any benefits from the kill. A unit would get a movement bonus if it has an ally one square above or below it at the start of your turn, and a movement penalty if it has an ally one square to its right or left. If it has an ally in either diagonal file at the start of your turn, the unit dies.
And every character needs a poorly written life story about how they ran away from home at an early age. Like seven.
I'd make a game where you play as a jewish nigga in a world where the United States lost the Civil War and the Nazi's won WW2. You are being opressed by the man and one day they take away your house, so you have to climb all the way to the top of a nazi fortress and punch out hitler and robert E lee. Along the way you also have to eat food like fried chicken and bagels but also go to the bathroom and stuff to stay alive. If you die you die forever and have to start over from level 1. Every so often Confederate Nazi police will stop you on the street and take away all your items and weapons. You will also have to play rap mini-games where you spit out fat beats and imitate a dreidel by breakdancing. Along the way almost every single NPC will ask if you want to give up your quest. If you say yes, then game over and you win! If you say no, you can continue all the way up until you punch out hitler and Robert E Lee, at which point you will actually die and get a game over and have to start over.
Wait, the United States lost the Civil War against... themselves... to who?
SimBen on
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AxenMy avatar is Excalibur.Yes, the sword.Registered Userregular
I'd make a game where you play as a jewish nigga in a world where the United States lost the Civil War and the Nazi's won WW2. You are being opressed by the man and one day they take away your house, so you have to climb all the way to the top of a nazi fortress and punch out hitler and robert E lee. Along the way you also have to eat food like fried chicken and bagels but also go to the bathroom and stuff to stay alive. If you die you die forever and have to start over from level 1. Every so often Confederate Nazi police will stop you on the street and take away all your items and weapons. You will also have to play rap mini-games where you spit out fat beats and imitate a dreidel by breakdancing. Along the way almost every single NPC will ask if you want to give up your quest. If you say yes, then game over and you win! If you say no, you can continue all the way up until you punch out hitler and Robert E Lee, at which point you will actually die and get a game over and have to start over.
Wait, the United States lost the Civil War against... themselves... to who?
Uh, I would imagine they lost to the Confederacy.
edit: I didn't mean to sound like a dick. I figure you were joking. But the American Civil War is a slight misnomer. The Confederacy was a sovereign nation with its own Gov't, elected officials, currency, army and navy.
Axen on
A Capellan's favorite sheath for any blade is your back.
Start here, only with puzzles requiring pixel perfect accuracy.
Holy fuck! I can't get passed the first level - Genius!
Guys, F key makes it fart. 0.0
Jump on to the platform and then jump again holding down the jump button to make it over the rising spikes then go back under the spikes in the left side in order to avoid the haduken then you will sink on the left side past that screen After the haduken has missed you completely veer right and try to land on the non-spike platform to the right after that I don't know
I'd make a game where you play as a jewish nigga in a world where the United States lost the Civil War and the Nazi's won WW2. You are being opressed by the man and one day they take away your house, so you have to climb all the way to the top of a nazi fortress and punch out hitler and robert E lee. Along the way you also have to eat food like fried chicken and bagels but also go to the bathroom and stuff to stay alive. If you die you die forever and have to start over from level 1. Every so often Confederate Nazi police will stop you on the street and take away all your items and weapons. You will also have to play rap mini-games where you spit out fat beats and imitate a dreidel by breakdancing. Along the way almost every single NPC will ask if you want to give up your quest. If you say yes, then game over and you win! If you say no, you can continue all the way up until you punch out hitler and Robert E Lee, at which point you will actually die and get a game over and have to start over.
Wait, the United States lost the Civil War against... themselves... to who?
Uh, I would imagine they lost to the Confederacy.
edit: I didn't mean to sound like a dick. I figure you were joking. But the American Civil War is a slight misnomer. The Confederacy was a sovereign nation with its own Gov't, elected officials, currency, army and navy.
Oh, okay. Guess I'd never seen it that way, but I've never studied the civil war in depth (interestingly enough, history classes in Canada tend to focus on Canadian history). It was just always Americans versus Americans in my head.
Story:
-the story is completely opaque. All the characters feel strongly about their actions, but never let the player know why.
-There is tons of "filler exposition:" unskippable cut scenes that contains lots of talk and action that reveals nothing. This includes what the player has to do next.
-The characters themselves turn every archtype on it's head or exagerates to the point of absurdity. For example, the male lead doesn't stop with being slightly feminine-he is in drag the whole story (though is clearly a man, because he has a beard). The "healer character" looks like the Ultimate Warrior. Give a female character terrible acne. Etc.
-The voice acting is equally mismatched. Burly characters have voices that sound like nails on a chaulkboard.
Gameplay:
-The character management screen takes inspiration from MoO3. Tons of options, but no clear indication that adjusting them is actually changing your performance.
-Battles are boring with no variation. Except the completely random mob ability that kills your entire party.
-Maps are wide open, but the game makes it almost impossible to know which direction you need to go to proceed. Going the wrong direction leads to a higher level area you're not ready for.
-Saving the game is a pain-takes you five minutes from the moment you decide to save, assuming you're allowed to save (and you lose the five minutes finding out if you're not).
The next logical step is World of Starforce, a game that just is spyware. Also, the world's first unconsenting MMO. All you have to do to participate is make the mistake of buying a legitimate piece of software, and attempt to enjoy your legally obtained content on a Windows machine. And lo, the thrilling adventure begins as all of a sudden none of your drives work, all your internets are not belong to you, and any multimedia files on your computer are held hostage. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue your megahutz?
A 3D platformer where you're only briefly shown a level in a lightning flash at the beginning, and then you have to do the whole level in complete darkness, based solely on your photographic memory. This isn't just a one-level thing; the ENTIRE GAME is like that.
As a slight aside, I almost said a game with no visuals whatsoever and in which you only interact with the sounds, the screen being black the entire time...
They already made that game, it was called DOOM 3.
Actually theres some gameboy advance game that you play only using headphones. Like, you don't look at the screen at all the entire time playing, because there isn't anything there. You beat levels based on sound alone.
Picks up from the end of the first game. This time you play Pey'j. Half pig, half Domz with the attitude to match. Using his advanced mechanical skills he's crafted a battle armour suit as fine as his witty one liners. By witty I mean shit.
A large amount of my budget has been blown on market research tagetting those who didn't like the original Beyond Good and Evil. Thus the sequal is a first person shooter set on the Domz homeworld. The homeworld is green, thus keeping a spiritual link to the original. There are hundreds of NPCs to interact with. By interact I mean shoot.
Over 25 different weapons can be attached to the battle suit. Although only one at a time. A 3 level invintory system has to be navigated every time you wantto change a weapon. The unused weapons are automaticaly discarded in a random direction. The menu automatically opens whenever you move over an item.
Pey'j utters a one-liner everytime he kills an enemy, of which there are hundreds on screen at any one time. There's only 3 samples and each are a minute long so they'll layer ontop of each with a couple of dozens samples playing over each other constantly.
All set aginst a rap-rock music background that can't be muted.
If that isn't the greatest disapointment of all time I don't know what would be.
Warrior Within! lol
I'm deadly serious here; you are about to make me cry. Screaming, angsty tears of denial.
Xenosaga Online (by SOE) - Players walk around a gigantic ship and talk to one another, and send and receive e-mails. Accumulating enough points through interaction with other players unlocks cutscenes, and viewing these triggers a unique snoring minigame.
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every time you enter a new area, the game just hangs for like 90 seconds.
it's not loading or anything, it just freezes for 90 seconds or so.
also, the camera and controls are set such that you're constantly entering and exiting an area on accident.
i call it "Safari Internet Browser, the game"
So, you decide to stop the person.
You go out, with no fighting experience and the gun aiming capabilities of an epileptic drunk in the middle of an earthquake at a strobe light party. You will be repeatedly beaten down by the psycho (as he re-heals himself constantly, he even gets extra lives in the form of a small doll that looks like himself) but fortunately, you have one weapon:
You can stand at the correct ledge and knock the psycho down the hill with a well placed hit.
I fail to see how the impractical menus correlate. But as for the rest, good show.
And whatever you do, DON'T BUILD A SNOWMAN!
Check out my new blog: http://50wordstories.ca
Also check out my old game design blog: http://stealmygamedesigns.blogspot.com
yeah, but i was wondering how much, before hyperbole, was responsible for me responding to the game with "meh"
Nintendo Friend Code: SW-0689-9921-0006
128 Player Online play! Will you be the last person not to have to resort to eating your fellow man? Fully Customizable Pee In The Snow (PITS) signature system!
How many tears will you shed when you're locked up in a virtual house with eight other people? None? Just know the person that produces the most tears at the end of the week wins a cash prize. Find onions to help your score but hide all sources of water to dehydrate your opponents. Westerners can't stand Japanese TV but can you imagine if it were interactive? Madness!
http://www3.tky.3web.ne.jp/~edjacob/tv.html
Wow. I just read the whole entry on Nasubi, the guy who was locked in a room for over a year, with nothing (not even clothes or food) except what he could win by sending post cards in to win contests. WTF. I've been to Japan and Korea, but I had no idea they were that fucked up. It's like the Truman Show, but run by Satan. Oh, and then they did it to him again, but because he did a good job, they kept raising the bar. Satan, I tell you.
It may be how I chose to remember it rather than what it actually was, though.
@gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
Every time you bump into a wall, your character automatically backs up on their own, but taking about 3 seconds to do so... and when they finally back up they are facing the wrong direction, and you are likely to bump into the wall again.
Save points at inconvenient spots, for example you can save after a really easy point in the game... but there are no save points for 20 minutes after that super hard boss.
really bad camera angles.
have a really long boring dialog, and after the dialog quiz the player to see if they actually paid attention. Have a lot of questions on the quiz, and don't tell them which ones they got wrong. If they got any wrong, send them back to the beginning of the dialog to try again. But make the rest of the game really fun, so they actually want to continue.
XBL/PSN-Polaris314/Twitter/DJ P0LARI5
And for the hell of it, let's add in a 1 second random battle encounter that take up to 10 minutes to finish. What is the reward for finishing such an aggravating a game? A coupon code for the upcoming sequel.
Pretty much, though I tacked on a few unrelated things to make it worse. Sorry if it came off as a "LOL KIDTENDO/HALO/SONY SUX" level of fanboyism and hatred
The coupon for a discounted sequel is the best ending in this thread. Especially if this is a console game ... leaving no way to print the damn thing out from your TV.
Axes would deal double damage in the hands of a soldier, be super effective against swords in the hands of a warrior, and heal the target in the hands of a fighter. After every attack, you would have a |attacker's level - defender's level| * 10% chance of switching weapons with a completely random opponent. Healers would only know fire magic, and fire mages would know the ultimate ice spell but would only be able to learn it by gaining experience through casting spells that boost the power of opponents.
After killing an enemy, you would have to spend an action the next turn to gain the experience from the kill, which would be interrupted by anyone on your team attacking or being attacked, losing you any benefits from the kill. A unit would get a movement bonus if it has an ally one square above or below it at the start of your turn, and a movement penalty if it has an ally one square to its right or left. If it has an ally in either diagonal file at the start of your turn, the unit dies.
A console version of IdleRPG for the 360. It'd monitor your voice and message usage, and while having your 360 off counts as being idle, for every second that it's not your most recently played game, it adds a second to your timer. Controller inputs obviously interrupt it.
The best thing is that you're never given any explanation for how to play or progress.
@gamefacts - Totally and utterly true gaming facts on the regular!
CRISIS CITY: RESURRECTION
Platform: PS3 (exclusive)
Story
It's is the 2XXX, you are a genetically-engineered supersoldier who wakes up in an abandoned lab with no idea who he is. You wander a city torn by gang warfare trying to discover your history and purpose.
....30 hours of gameplay later, you still have no clue. To Be Contined (over the course of countless downloadable extra chapters that cost $30 apiece).
Gameplay
The game is played as a third-person beat-em-up.
You move with the left analog stick and attack by flicking the right analog stick. However, no matter what direction you move the right analog, you always attack in the direction you're facing. Moving the right analog in different ways produces different attacks, (attack inputs come in the form of 30, 60, 90, and 180 degree rotations of the right analog stick) but you have to move it relative to how you're facing the enemy relative to how you're facing the camera (hold L1 to activate the "cinematic camera lock-on" mode, which constantly repositions to get the "best" view of the action).
You also have supersoldier powers. Holding L2 activates a bullet-time mode in which everything moves slower (including yourself). All that happens is that everything is more slow, giving you...I dunno, more reaction time I guess. You can also activate a special move by pressing the right analog stick. This damages (though not at much as you'd expect) and knocks down all the enemies in the area. It takes roughly 20 kills to build up this attack.
The enemies primarily attack with punches and kicks. The blocking in this game works differently in other games. (It has more depth.) Whenever an enemy attacks, a picture of one of the face buttons (circle, triangle, square, or X) will appear over their head. You must push this face button before the enemy connects in order to block. Later enemies will display their face buttons without color, or with only the color, or with one shape but a different color (in which case you must press the face button of the same COLOR, not shape) in order to make things a bit more tricky.
Some enemies drop guns which you can pick up. You use these guns in a first-person aim mode. You can't move while aiming and the right analog stick (used to aim) is very oversensiti...I mean...responsive. Where you shoot an enemy doesn't matter. Through the head or through the hand, it all does the same amount of damage. Guns can't be reloaded and don't disappear when you run out of ammo (you have to drop them manually, which is more realistic).
The game is broken into stages. While you go different places, they all look and feel roughly the same (it is the same city, after all). At the end of every fourth stage you fight an "Ultra Thug" who takes many hits to kill (but, in all other respects, is essentially a regular enemy). At the end of each stage. You're awarded skill points which allows you to increase your strength, speed, or defense (you MUST choose one). But don't get too cocky. Enemies increase in power, too, at about the same rate you do. Also, the game's linear structure means you can't go back to stages you've completed without starting a new file.
As you play through levels, you collect money from fallen enemies as well as smashing crates and other objects in levels. This money can be spent on "clones," which are your continues. If you die, you must have enough money to buy a clone in order to continue (how much a clone costs increases with each stage). If you don't have enough, you must return to your last save. You're only allowed to save after boss battles. If you get sent back to your last save in this way, you lose all your money.
One final note. In some levels, you must escort a scientist to the end of the level as enemies try to attack him. He dies in one hit, so you must remain vigilant.
Graphics
The game goes for realism, which means everything is gray and brown with trash everywhere (cause it's the future). All animations are fully motion captured which means they're beautiful to look at even if they are cumbersome to use. At the beginning of each stage and before each boss fight there is a cutscene (unskippable, 1-3 minutes) which slowly reveals the story (but, of course, not too much). These cut-scenes use in-game graphics, but after each boss battle there is a seperate cut scene (unskippable, 2-6 minutes) rendered in the form of comic book panels which reveals even more.
Sound
The game features a hardcore, brutal death-metal soundtrack (cause it's the future) in every level, and every menu, all the time. There's no voice acting in the cut-scenes, which is an artistic choice (gives it a comic-book feel). All the enemies and bosses use the same few voice actors during gameplay.
The game retails for $60.00 (plus $30.00 x infinity for extra chapters).
The tutorial will be a simulation of the joke featured in The Aristocrats, acted out by the Spirit Squad and Carrot Top.
The game will only run on a proprietary operation system, and will format your hard drive before installation in order to install that operating system, which was programmed in Korean then translated into English by someone who only speaks French.
IOS Game Center ID: Isotope-X
Wait, what?
WWE fans can't read.
The harder the rain, honey, the sweeter the sun.
And every character needs a poorly written life story about how they ran away from home at an early age. Like seven.
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Don't forget the spyware!
Wait, the United States lost the Civil War against... themselves... to who?
Uh, I would imagine they lost to the Confederacy.
edit: I didn't mean to sound like a dick. I figure you were joking. But the American Civil War is a slight misnomer. The Confederacy was a sovereign nation with its own Gov't, elected officials, currency, army and navy.
Jump on to the platform and then jump again holding down the jump button to make it over the rising spikes then go back under the spikes in the left side in order to avoid the haduken then you will sink on the left side past that screen After the haduken has missed you completely veer right and try to land on the non-spike platform to the right after that I don't know
Oh, okay. Guess I'd never seen it that way, but I've never studied the civil war in depth (interestingly enough, history classes in Canada tend to focus on Canadian history). It was just always Americans versus Americans in my head.
They already have one of those. It's called The Internet.
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Story:
-the story is completely opaque. All the characters feel strongly about their actions, but never let the player know why.
-There is tons of "filler exposition:" unskippable cut scenes that contains lots of talk and action that reveals nothing. This includes what the player has to do next.
-The characters themselves turn every archtype on it's head or exagerates to the point of absurdity. For example, the male lead doesn't stop with being slightly feminine-he is in drag the whole story (though is clearly a man, because he has a beard). The "healer character" looks like the Ultimate Warrior. Give a female character terrible acne. Etc.
-The voice acting is equally mismatched. Burly characters have voices that sound like nails on a chaulkboard.
Gameplay:
-The character management screen takes inspiration from MoO3. Tons of options, but no clear indication that adjusting them is actually changing your performance.
-Battles are boring with no variation. Except the completely random mob ability that kills your entire party.
-Maps are wide open, but the game makes it almost impossible to know which direction you need to go to proceed. Going the wrong direction leads to a higher level area you're not ready for.
-Saving the game is a pain-takes you five minutes from the moment you decide to save, assuming you're allowed to save (and you lose the five minutes finding out if you're not).
Truly none can be more horrifying than the masses.
I see what you did there.
They already made that game, it was called DOOM 3.
M I RITE??!?
Can't remember the name though.
I'm going to have to repress this shit, and hard.