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A [PHALLA] to Restore Sanity and/or Fear GAME OVER! EC WIN!

enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
edited June 2012 in Debate and/or Discourse
Note this is a mod approved Phalla.

What is Phalla?

Here's a link! Basically, it's the PA version of the party game mafia.


Indecision 2012!

6a00d83451.jpg

The Presidential election has unleashed an unprecedented amount of bullshit onto American airwaves and the interwebs. Pundits scream and ignore facts. Bloggers link to made up bullshit or create their own artificial bullshit. Left vs. right. Young vs. old. Black vs. white. The yelling and hackery is endless. Coverage is terrible, everyone hates it, no one learns anything as they only see information that confirms their existing biases.

Enter Jon Stewart. From Comedy Central's World News Headquarters in New York, he and Stephen Colbert have been attempting to get The Village to stop being quite so narcissistic and actually accurately convey the information needed to make our democracy function properly. Unfortunately, they've tried to convey this through satire and Villagers are too dense for satire. So that's unfortunate. But now they're going to be considerably more blunt, and threats have been made that the segments will be so biting that anyone they target will have to retire immediately.

Chaos ensued. But out of the chaos Roger Ailes, Erick Erickson, Markos Moulitsos, and George Soros see an opportunity to re-shape the entire media in their own image. Everyone rushed to their computers or video editing software to create the most vicious slander possible.

And thus began The PHALLA to Restore Sanity and/or Fear!

This is the ancestor of a fairly well received mini I ran in CF two years ago. That game may give an indication for what's around in this one, but it's not strictly identical by any means. It's also larger. Anyway, in the post-thread discussion, I mentioned the idea of expanding it and making it a main, as there were tons of roles I didn't use. And then I said I should try it in D&D. After a couple of years, here we are!

Flavor notes:
I hate almost everyone in the media, so there are not many positive role PMs, even among the liberals, despite my being very liberal. This is meant to be fun, not bash the conservatives. It's bash the morons, much like TDS itself.

Mechanics notes:
This is a fairly large (65 player) Phalla. There are some people I can cut if we need to make that smaller, and there are a bunch more people I could add if absolutely necessary. I'd like to keep it around this size though.

Every single player will get a unique role. There is no vanillager.

That said, I make no promises about balance. This is, like the original, a top down designed Phalla. Where the roles determine the powers, not any silly notions of "fairness" or "even gameplay." This is America, fuck socialism.

This is a faction Phalla. The factions are: establishment liberals, internet liberals, establishment conservatives, internet conservatives. "Establishment" is defined as being primarily an opinion writer for a major newspaper (NYT or WaPo) or a host/frequent guest on TV shows. "Internet" is someone who primarily writes about politics on the internet. For example, Joe Scarborough is not in this game, but if he were, he would be an establishment conservative. There are some neutrals who are only establishment or internet, not having a particular partisan bent.

There are three levels of victory for Villagers:
A minor win - The Daily Show is defeated
A moderate win - The Daily Show is defeated and there is a tie for the faction with the most remaining players. If the tied groups are perfectly ideologically opposed, the tie is broken by counting members outside the tied groups. Example with 5 players surviving: 2 EL, 0 IL, 1 EC, 2 IC would be an establishment conservative victory. This preserves the chance for a faction to win if it is massacred early, for example. If the tied groups share an aspect of their ideology, that group wins. For example if instead of two internet conservatives we had two internet liberals for 2 EL, 2 IL, 1 EC, 0 IC, that would be a purely liberal victory.
A major win - The Daily Show is defeated and their faction is the plurality. Example: 5 players survive, 1 EL, 1 IL, 2 EC, 1 IC would be an establishment conservative victory.

Yeah, The Daily Show is the mafia. The Village is the media, aka The Village. Made up of Villagers (and a few non-Villagers).

There is no conversion in this game. All of these people are bitterly aligned already.

Rules:

Standard rules
No sharing of host-provided PMs via screenshots and direct quotation, no anonymous communication, no communication with the dead without host consent.

Vote Close
Each day will end at 1 AM eastern. Any actions or votes submitted up until X:59 will count, whereas those taken on or after X:00 will not. Please do not submit any actions or votes for the following day until narration has been posted. Narration will usually be posted fairly quickly, except possibly on Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I might be playing PA Crusader Kings 2 until an undetermined time, but usually we're done sometime between 12:30 and 1.

Voting
Each day, Villagers will vote for one player in !bold red on suspicion of not being a Very Serious Person (aka a comedian). That person will be removed from the game. Retractions are appreciated, but not necessary. Do those in !bold green.

Ties
Ties go to the ravening murderbeast. Everyone dies.

Sign-Up
Sign up by posting such in !bold green or some other pretty color below.

Inactivity
Failure to post a column, make a show, make a segment, edit a video or whatever will be faced with harsh justice. Vote every day, and post at least a couple times each day, or face the wrath of your editors. You will receive one warning, after which you will be replaced by an alternate or murdered if no such alternate exists.

Proboards
Any player may create a proboard for any reason. However, all proboards must be linked to the host, who must have full access to all information on the board.

PMs
Trust is a valuable commodity in Phalla. If you want to add someone to a conversation, you must start a new conversation. THE HOST MUST SEE ALL PMs. PMs for the PM God!

Clarifications
Ask me for clarifications in orange
Pi-r8 wrote: »
!signup
There are some neutrals who are only establishment or internet, not having a particular partisan bent
does that mean people considered nonpartisan/centrist, or people that have nothing to do with politics at all?

There are some people who are either legitimately non-partisan or believe themselves to be non-partisan in their reporting about politics. These value judgments are largely subject to my whims. They're either good reporters or supreme assholes, for the most part

General clarification: unless something is very specifically mentioned to be done in the thread, any description of it is fluff and it probably means "PM the host." If you're still not sure, PM me for clarification for your specific case.

Oh right, for the newbies: DON'T EDIT A POST WITH A VOTE IN IT.
jdarksun wrote: »
kime wrote: »
In the case of a tie vote, you say "Everyone dies." Do you just mean the people that were tied? Them, as well as the person who tied it? .....literally everyone?

What is the order of actions?

The tied people die.

Null -> Guard -> Other Random Stuff -> Vigs -> Vote -> Seers
Does the vote trickle?

Sorry, that should be = not ->. Everyone that dies dies simultaneously.

For the sake of absolute clarity: current day is in the thread title.

Any PM action you agree to in a PM conversation with people who are not me needs to actually be sent to me.

Special Partisanship Rule
In character, in context of the thread, clearly satirical partisan asshattery is entirely acceptable. Actual partisanship, including behavior I engage in in political threads, is expressly prohibited, subject to my whims, and may result in SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES. You'll get a warning, much like activity. Let's keep this fun and casual.

Role Calls
Please refrain from them. Figure it out in various classical ways.

Narrations:
Day 0 - Live from the Pearly Gates
Day 1 - Reporting From Limbo
Day 2 - The Circle of Lust
Day 3 - The Circle of Gluttony
Day 4 - The Circle of Greed
Day 5 - The Circle of Anger
Day 6 - The Circle of Heresy
Day 7 - The Circle of Violence
Day 8 - The Circle of Fraud
Day 9 - The Circle of Treachery
Day 10 - Victory!

Winners:
Teucrian - Chris Wallace (establishment conservative), retires to a life of hookers and blow at the best DC parties

Roster
1. Kagera - Jessica Williams (Daily Show), voted out
2. AngelHedgie - Jane Hamsher (internet liberal), attacked by TDS
3. Hakkekage - Dancin' David Gregory (neutral), attacked by TDS
4. Cinders - Stephen Colbert (Daily Show), Fox Effect'd
5. Elldren - Steve Benen (internet liberal), ranted about
6. Pi-r8 - Ed Morrissey (internet conservative), attacked by The Daily Show
7. Kasyn
8. So It Goes - Lewis Black (Daily Show), voted out
9. shalmelo - Samantha Bee (Daily Show), subject of a documentary film
10. ObiFett
11. LordFizzleBeef - John Oliver (Daily Show), abducted by liberal good squads
12. LoserforHireX - Markos Moulitsas (internet liberal), Fox Effect'd
13. Teucrian - Chris Wallace (establishment conservative) - retires to a life of hookers and blow at the best DC parties
14. Savant - Glenn Greenwald (internet liberal) - ranted about
15. BertezBertez
16. Spoit - Mark Halperin (neutral), attacked by The Daily Show
17. CasualEddy - Charles Krauthammer (establishment conservative), attacked by The Daily Show
18. sportzboyjtw Cythraul
19. Assuran - Wyatt Cenac (Daily Show), accused of corruption
20. Void Slayer - Nate Silver (internet), voted out
21. Honk
22. Bedlam - Michael Moore (establishment liberal), attacked by the Daily Show
23. jdarksun - Jim Lehrer (establishment), attacked by the Daily Show
24. Neli - Megan McArdle (internet conservative), voted out
25. Oats - Erick Erickson (internet conservative), attacked by the Daily Show
26. TehCheney (TehSpectre)
27. Rent - Rachel Maddow (establishment liberal), badgered by Red Staters
28. Kilroy - Luke Russert (neutral), attacked by The Daily Show
29. Cleonicus - Heather "Digby" Parton (internet liberal), attacked by the Daily Show
30. Thanatos - Sean Hannity (establishment conservative), ranted about
31. DasUberEdward Kelzor
32. Lucedes - Bill O'Reilly (establishment conservative), attacked by the Daily Show
33. Heffling - Jon Stewart (Daily Show), intimidated
34. Element Brian
35. Capfalcon
36. warban - Josh Marshall (internet liberal), intimidated
37. Alegis - Ta-Nehisi Coates (internet liberal), attacked by the Daily Show
38. Kilnaga
39. Rius - Glenn Beck (establishment conservative), abducted by liberal goon squads
40. Zombie Sympathizer (Romantic Undead) - Rich Lowry (internet conservative), abducted by liberal goon squads
41. TehSloth - Larry Wilmore (Daily Show), Fox Effect'd
42. ragnarok7331 - Jason Jones (Daily Show), accused of corruption
43. Nich - Dan Rather (establishment liberal), voted out
44. Houn - John Hodgman (Daily Show), voted out
45. spool32 - Chris Matthews (establishment liberal), attacked by The Daily Show
46. Deebaser - Kathryn Jean Lopez (internet conservative), abducted by liberal goons squads
47. Mazzyx - EJ Dionne (establishment liberal), voted out
48. baronfel
49. chamberlain - Charles P. Pierce (internet liberal), accused of corruption
50. Mill - Shepard Smith (internet), ranted about
51. a5ehren
52. Tenek - Thomas Friedman (establishment), intimidated
53. schuss - Glenn Reynolds (internet conservative), Fox Effect'd
54. ShadowThomas - John McCain (neutral), badgered by Red Staters
55. Lord_Aetos Zephiran - Andrew Sullivan (internet), voted out
56. REG Rysk - George Will, attacked by The Daily Show AND subject of a documentary film
57. RonaldotheGypsy - Duncan "Atrios" Black (internet liberal), abducted by liberal goon squads
58. Cayrus wazilla - Matt Drudge (internet conservative), Fox Effect'd
59. Retaba - Michelle Malkin (internet conservative), boycotted by Kossacks
60. kime - Fareed Zakaria (establishment), voted out
61. Julius - Paul Krugman (establishment liberal), attacked by the Daily Show
62. MrTLicious
63. lonelyahava - Kristen Schaal (Daily Show), subject of a documentary film
64. adejaan
65. amateurhour - John Cole (internet liberal), sudden bout with centrism

Reserves
1. Cythraul
2. Zephiran
3. Kelzor
4. wazilla
5.
6.
etc.

enlightenedbum on
Lose: to suffer defeat, to misplace (Ex: "I hope I don't lose the match." "Did you lose your phone again?")
Loose: about to slip, to release (Ex: "That knot is loose." "Loose arrows.")
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Posts

  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Oh crap a d&d phalla? It's been so long.

    !signed

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
    ·
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    Oh boy, where do I !sign up

    AngelHedgie on
    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum
    Spoiler:
    ·
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular


    angel

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
    ·
  • HakkekageHakkekage Space Whore Academy summa cum laudeRegistered User regular
    !Sign up

    Signing up SO HARD

    3DS: 2165 - 6538 - 3417
    ·
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Aw jeah

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
    ·
  • CindersCinders You’re either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you’re not. Registered User regular
    I guess I'll sign up.

    Kagera has got a shifty look to him.



    ·
  • ElldrenElldren DS 3067-6294-6208Registered User regular
    I suppose I shall sign on

    for old times' sake

    ·
  • Pi-r8Pi-r8 Registered User regular
    !signup
    There are some neutrals who are only establishment or internet, not having a particular partisan bent
    does that mean people considered nonpartisan/centrist, or people that have nothing to do with politics at all?

    ·
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    Pi-r8 wrote: »
    !signup
    There are some neutrals who are only establishment or internet, not having a particular partisan bent
    does that mean people considered nonpartisan/centrist, or people that have nothing to do with politics at all?

    There are some people who are either legitimately non-partisan or believe themselves to be non-partisan in their reporting about politics. These value judgments are largely subject to my whims. They're either good reporters or supreme assholes, for the most part

    Lose: to suffer defeat, to misplace (Ex: "I hope I don't lose the match." "Did you lose your phone again?")
    Loose: about to slip, to release (Ex: "That knot is loose." "Loose arrows.")
    ·
  • KasynKasyn Registered User regular
    I am interested in this!

    !signup

    ·
  • So It GoesSo It Goes Well, that seems pretty ludicrous.Registered User regular
    Can I sign up without color since I'm on my phone?

    !signup

    NOPE.
    UIyhK8D.gif
    ·
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    Yeah, SiG, you're fine.

    Lose: to suffer defeat, to misplace (Ex: "I hope I don't lose the match." "Did you lose your phone again?")
    Loose: about to slip, to release (Ex: "That knot is loose." "Loose arrows.")
    ·
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    So It Goes wrote: »
    Can I sign up without color since I'm on my phone?

    !signup

    I signed up with color on my phone

    Sent from my iPhone.

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
    ·
  • shalmeloshalmelo sees no evil Registered User regular
    finally a use for my Beltway logic

    Steam ID: Shalmelo || LoL: melo2boogaloo || tweets
    ·
  • ObiFettObiFett Use the Force As You WishRegistered User regular
    Sign up

    SWTOR Main - Novah (Shadowlands)
    Xbox Live - ObiFett (Destiny)
    Other Games - Hearthstone / Heroes of the Storm / Diablo 3
    ·
  • LordFizzlebeefLordFizzlebeef Registered User regular
    !signup

    ·
  • LoserForHireXLoserForHireX Registered User regular
    Sign Up

    I haven't done the phalla in ages...

    "The only way to get rid of a temptation is to give into it." - Oscar Wilde
    "We believe in the people and their 'wisdom' as if there was some special secret entrance to knowledge that barred to anyone who had ever learned anything." - Friedrich Nietzsche
    ·
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    Man, I forgot how long it takes to write all these PMs. 20 to go! Then to find pictures for all of them. Good times.

    Lose: to suffer defeat, to misplace (Ex: "I hope I don't lose the match." "Did you lose your phone again?")
    Loose: about to slip, to release (Ex: "That knot is loose." "Loose arrows.")
    ·
  • TeucrianTeucrian Registered User regular
    I too feel like a Phalla would be some fun after a significant layoff. And my recollection is that the last time ebum ran a pundits phalla in D&D really awesome things happened.

    !Signup

    ·
  • SavantSavant Registered User regular
    !Brian Williams

    The self guard was fun last game, despite getting Broderized at the end.

    ·
  • BertezBertezBertezBertez Registered User regular
    Been I long time since I have done one of these.

    Sign Up!

    ...but I would say that
    ·
  • SpoitSpoit *twitch twitch* Registered User regular
    I supposed I'm obligated to sign up as the mini is what got me looking at phallas

    camo_sig2.png
    ·
  • Casual EddyCasual Eddy Fighting the War on String Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    oh neat i'll !sign up

    Casual Eddy on
    Elki wrote: »

    Casual Eddy: best poster 2014.
    ·
  • sportzboytjwsportzboytjw squeeeeeezzeeee some more tax breaks outRegistered User regular
    Oh me oh my!

    Walkerdog on MTGO
    TylerJ on League of Legends (it's free and fun!)
    ·
  • SpoitSpoit *twitch twitch* Registered User regular

    There are three levels of victory for Villagers:
    A minor win - The Daily Show is defeated
    A moderate win - The Daily Show is defeated and there is a tie for the faction with the most remaining players. If the tied groups are perfectly ideologically opposed, the tie is broken by counting members outside the tied groups. Example with 5 players surviving: 2 EL, 0 IL, 1 EC, 2 IC would be an establishment conservative victory.

    Is that supposed to be internet conservative?

    camo_sig2.png
    ·
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    Spoit wrote: »

    There are three levels of victory for Villagers:
    A minor win - The Daily Show is defeated
    A moderate win - The Daily Show is defeated and there is a tie for the faction with the most remaining players. If the tied groups are perfectly ideologically opposed, the tie is broken by counting members outside the tied groups. Example with 5 players surviving: 2 EL, 0 IL, 1 EC, 2 IC would be an establishment conservative victory.

    Is that supposed to be internet conservative?

    Nope! There are three establishment members and three conservative members. It's the media, it doesn't have to make sense. Also, I hate ties, try to not to tie.

    Lose: to suffer defeat, to misplace (Ex: "I hope I don't lose the match." "Did you lose your phone again?")
    Loose: about to slip, to release (Ex: "That knot is loose." "Loose arrows.")
    ·
  • SpoitSpoit *twitch twitch* Registered User regular
    Talking about ties, what would happen if it were like 2 EL, 2 IC, 0 everyone else?

    camo_sig2.png
    ·
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    Minor victories for everyone.

    Lose: to suffer defeat, to misplace (Ex: "I hope I don't lose the match." "Did you lose your phone again?")
    Loose: about to slip, to release (Ex: "That knot is loose." "Loose arrows.")
    ·
  • SpoitSpoit *twitch twitch* Registered User regular
    and 2 IL 1 EL 1 IC 2 EC? would that also be minors for everyone?

    camo_sig2.png
    ·
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    Yep.

    Lose: to suffer defeat, to misplace (Ex: "I hope I don't lose the match." "Did you lose your phone again?")
    Loose: about to slip, to release (Ex: "That knot is loose." "Loose arrows.")
    ·
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    Can it just be an establishment or internet victory?

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
    ·
  • enlightenedbumenlightenedbum Registered User regular
    Kagera wrote: »
    Can it just be an establishment or internet victory?

    Same way in the liberal victory example, yes.

    Lose: to suffer defeat, to misplace (Ex: "I hope I don't lose the match." "Did you lose your phone again?")
    Loose: about to slip, to release (Ex: "That knot is loose." "Loose arrows.")
    ·
  • AssuranAssuran Is swinging on the Spiral Registered User regular
    Phalla outside of CF, interesting.

    ·
  • KageraKagera Imitating the worst people. Since 2004Registered User regular
    So a 1 el 0 il 1ec 0 ic would be an establishment victory?

    My neck, my back, my FUPA and my crack.
    ·
  • Void SlayerVoid Slayer Very Suspicious Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    Wait so I can not use ad hominem, argument from ignorance or straw men to justify my vote? This will be hard...

    No signing up in green for me, just 'merican colors.

    Edit:that looks terrible.

    Void Slayer on
    He's a superhumanly strong soccer-playing romance novelist possessed of the uncanny powers of an insect. She's a beautiful African-American doctor with her own daytime radio talk show. They fight crime!
    ·
  • HonkHonk Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    !Sign up

    Sounds like a really cool idea!

    ·
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Carell > Colbert

    ·
  • NeliNeli Registered User regular
    edited June 2012
    OKAY I AM IN

    Neli on
    vhgb4m.jpg
    Spoiler:
    ·
  • OatsOats Registered User regular
    My caucus is ready.

    It's been a while.

    ·
  • TehSpectreTehSpectre @PixelateJake on TwitterRegistered User regular
    enhanced-buzz-11578-1335797190-1.jpg

    I'm ready.

    Spec_Banner.png
    ·
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