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Prude Victorian Fencing [chat]

JacobkoshJacobkosh Gamble a stamp.I can show you how to be a real man!Super Moderator, Moderator mod
edited July 2012 in Debate and/or Discourse
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/lamaupin.html
lamaupin.jpg


Julie D'Aubigny was a 17th-century bisexual French opera singer and fencing master who killed or wounded at least ten men in life-or-death duels, performed nightly shows on the biggest and most highly-respected opera stage in the world, and once took the Holy Orders just so that she could sneak into a convent and bang a nun. If nothing in that sentence at least marginally interests you, I have no idea why you're visiting this website.

One of the most badass human beings ever produced by France was born in 1670 into a life of wealth, privilege, and one-percenter opulence that meant she could have just spent her entire life chilling out Real Housewives style without ever so much as having to shank a single human being in the eye in a hellacious fit of rage, but, as we shall soon see, that sort of malaise really wasn't this chick's bag. Her father was the Grand Squire of France, meaning that he was pretty much the number-one dude responsible for training King Louis XIV's pages and maintaining the Royal Stables, and this guy wasn't really the sort of hard-drinking drill sergeant motherfucker who was going to let his little daughter grow up without learning the finer arts of dishing out knuckle sandwiches to her enemies or running would-be suitors through the small intestines with the pointy end of a rapier. This French R. Lee Ermey trained young Julie the same way he trained the King's Squires, and as a young woman she learned the finer points of necessary life skills such as horseback riding, horse maintenance and repair, drinking excessively, gambling, fistfighting, avenging your honor, and stabbing people in the fucking face when they don't have the good sense to step off when you're threatening them. Growing up surrounded by tough men, this tall young beauty with the dark auburn hair and piercing blue eyes was forged into an instrument of badassitude.

Julie D'Aubigny got started early on her career of banging and/or killing everything in sight when, at the age of sixteen, she started having an affair with her father's boss. The young Mademoiselle D'Aubigny soon proved herself way too hot for that guy to handle, however, so before long he gave her father a promotion, then got her married off to some spineless jackass-non-gratta known only as Monsoir Maupin so that she would leave him alone. Maupin was a Count or Viscount or Demi-Count or some shit, and he lived in one of the colonies across the sea and rarely spent time in France, and since this chick wasn't about to move out to bumfuck nowhere and be a quiet little housewife in some malaria-infested corner of the world she rarely saw him and he doesn't factor into her life story in any appreciable manner at all. The only real thing this guy provided was a title, some money, and a wedding ring, all of which allowed Julie to use her marital status as a way of being able to do promiscuous shit she wouldn't have been able to get away with as an unmarried woman.

So, while her husband was off doing god-knows-what in Africa or India or wherever the hell he was, Julie D'Aubigny moved to Marseille and started hooking up with a badass fencing master who just so happened to be on the run for murder after he stabbed some dude to death in an alley outside Paris. The homicidal fugitive swordsman trained D'Aubigny in the finer arts of fencing for a while, but as soon as she realized the student was now the master she ditched his broke ass and started giving sword exhibitions across Marseille to hone her skills and make a little extra dough. Basically it worked like this – she'd pull out her sword, sing a song or two, and challenge anyone in the audience to battle her in a duel. If someone stepped up, she'd sing a humiliating song about them, then make them look like assholes who couldn't tell the difference between a sword and a limp piece of linguine. Her skills were so lights-out gonzo that one time some jerkwad in the crowd called out that she wasn't really a woman, but was some badass cross-dressing cavalier musketeer motherfucker who was ripping everyone off. She responded by ripping open her blouse and telling the audience to "judge for themselves".

Echo on
FeralSquirminator2kCalixtusBendery It Like BeckhamEddyCaveman PawsCambiatawanderingVanguardAldo
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Posts

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Fencing is pretty cool.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
    Fencingsax
  • Squirminator2kSquirminator2k Check out those ports! Sunland, CARegistered User regular
    Contemplation is really more of a soft cheese. I prefer something hard. Like Angst.

    portscenter-pa.gif
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Contemplation is really more of a soft cheese. I prefer something hard. Like Angst.

    Angst is a nice full-bodied cheese.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    Is there a summary anywhere of what the forum changes are?

    I can't see anything in Tube's circus or the Vanilla sub-forum.

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    japan wrote: »
    Is there a summary anywhere of what the forum changes are?

    I can't see anything in Tube's circus or the Vanilla sub-forum.

    Nah. We're still waiting for patch notes.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    Jacob, that is rad.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
    Jacobkosh
  • Squirminator2kSquirminator2k Check out those ports! Sunland, CARegistered User regular
    _J_ wrote: »
    Contemplation is really more of a soft cheese. I prefer something hard. Like Angst.

    Angst is a nice full-bodied cheese.

    Great for grilling, or for Despair Ham and Cheese sandwiches.

    portscenter-pa.gif
  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    Okay, bedtime. It is late.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
  • CalixtusCalixtus Registered User regular
    There... There is a forum scoreboard, and an actual cheevo for getting 5 other cheevoes (cheeves?) in a day.

    I'm fine with some of the other additions and look forward to exploring the full implications they will have on discourse, but those particular two? They are the opposite of wise additions.

    Diametrically.

    -This message was deviously brought to you by:
    Squirminator2k
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Calixtus wrote: »
    There... There is a forum scoreboard, and an actual cheevo for getting 5 other cheevoes (cheeves?) in a day.

    I'm fine with some of the other additions and look forward to exploring the full implications they will have on discourse, but those particular two? They are the opposite of wise additions.

    Diametrically.

    Yeah.

    Points on a gaming forum are very bad ideas, since most of us spend our time farming points in games.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • Squirminator2kSquirminator2k Check out those ports! Sunland, CARegistered User regular
    Game sales plummet as PA Forum-goers are too busy trying to "win" the forum.

    portscenter-pa.gif
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Game sales plummet as PA Forum-goers are too busy trying to "win" the forum.

    They should ask Blizzard for advice on how to nerf farming.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
    mcdermott
  • AManFromEarthAManFromEarth Their ideas are old and their ideas are bad. The King in the SwampRegistered User regular
    Trying to decide if it's worth it to go get real food or if I should just warm up the hotdogs I found in the back of the fridge for lunch...

    Also I feel like it's 4pm but it's barely 11.

    Screw you, time.

    Lh96QHG.png
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Trying to decide if it's worth it to go get real food or if I should just warm up the hotdogs I found in the back of the fridge for lunch...

    Also I feel like it's 4pm but it's barely 11.

    Screw you, time.

    Real food.

    Hotdogs are...very much not food.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    I remember there was a period where postcounts were hidden because people were using them to be dicks, in an I-have-several-thousand-more-posts-than-you sense.

  • AManFromEarthAManFromEarth Their ideas are old and their ideas are bad. The King in the SwampRegistered User regular
    _J_ wrote: »
    Trying to decide if it's worth it to go get real food or if I should just warm up the hotdogs I found in the back of the fridge for lunch...

    Also I feel like it's 4pm but it's barely 11.

    Screw you, time.

    Real food.

    Hotdogs are...very much not food.

    But if you cook them right you don't even need ketchup!

    Lh96QHG.png
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    japan wrote: »
    I remember there was a period where postcounts were hidden because people were using them to be dicks, in an I-have-several-thousand-more-posts-than-you sense.

    Yup.

    This is why the stars and points shall probably be removed.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • KalkinoKalkino Buttons Londres Registered User regular
    japan wrote: »
    I remember there was a period where postcounts were hidden because people were using them to be dicks, in an I-have-several-thousand-more-posts-than-you sense.

    That seems to happen at least once to all forums that make counts visible

    Freedom for the Northern Isles!
    Calixtus
  • CalixtusCalixtus Registered User regular
    Levels appears to have dissappeared.

    Who do I rate as "Insightful" for this development?

    -This message was deviously brought to you by:
  • MillMill Registered User regular
    Yeah, get real food. Hot dogs you found in the back of your fridge sounds ominous but that could be because of my experience with my family's fridge. Where anything found in the very back more than a week after the last cleaning will likely give you food poisoning.

    With that said, I'm off to bed.

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Calixtus wrote: »
    Levels appears to have dissappeared.

    Who do I rate as "Insightful" for this development?

    Tube made a post about it in the SE++ thread.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    I am watching elite athletes do their thing whilst sprawling on the couch eating the greasiest bacon and eggs.

  • GreeperGreeper Registered User regular
    That is who I want to be when I grow up! But a dude.

    lolol_zps7df95a14.png
  • ElendilElendil Registered User regular
    oh hell the forums have cheevos now

    i'm never leaving

    Per3th.jpg
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    Man dies after spending 67 continuous hours posting on "Pennies Arcade" website: peed in bottle, pooped in sock.

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Elendil wrote: »
    oh hell the forums have cheevos now

    i'm never leaving

    You're not allowed to get caught farming them.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • GreeperGreeper Registered User regular
    _J_ wrote: »
    Elendil wrote: »
    oh hell the forums have cheevos now

    i'm never leaving

    You're not allowed to get caught farming them.

    Carefully worded, J.

    I keep going to the bottom right of a post for the quote button, and being disappointed in bed.

    lolol_zps7df95a14.png
  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Greeper wrote: »
    _J_ wrote: »
    Elendil wrote: »
    oh hell the forums have cheevos now

    i'm never leaving

    You're not allowed to get caught farming them.

    Carefully worded, J.

    Shall be interesting.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • DetharinDetharin Registered User regular
    Oh god. For my birthday I decided I would try one of those horribly ideas you have when you are much younger and your stomach will endure practically anything put into it. Cookie dough dipped in brownie batter. So rich, so delicious, I am pretty much done after three bites. This shit would have killed 16 year old me due to death by overdose.

    If I was kidnapped, woke up in a lab, told they were going to replace my vocal cords with those of Tony Jay, and lock me in a sound booth until the day I die I would look those bastards right in the eye and say "Alright you sons of bitches lets do this. This one is for the children."
  • ElldrenElldren 3067-6294-6208Registered User regular
    I notice they at least removed the levels bullshit

  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    oh man that sounds good

    we have a guy at work who makes...well, everything...stuffed with oreos

    chocolate and cream cupcakes with oreos baked inside

    also, chocolate chip cookies with oreos baked inside

    sooooo good

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    I notice they at least removed the levels bullshit

    For now.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    I notice they at least removed the levels bullshit

    yeah, some people couldn't handle knowing how low on the totem pole they really where

    (no i am not being serious)

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    mcdermott wrote: »
    Elldren wrote: »
    I notice they at least removed the levels bullshit

    yeah, some people couldn't handle knowing how low on the totem pole they really where

    (no i am not being serious)

    Sarcasm has no place on these boards, sir.

    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
    mcdermottAManFromEarth
  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    eat a disagree, sucka

  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    hum

    trying to run diabler on the linuxes

    it says its launching

    i don't think its really launching

  • _J__J_ Pedant Registered User regular
    edited July 2012
    mcdermott wrote: »
    hum

    trying to run diabler on the linuxes

    it says its launching

    i don't think its really launching

    Open the task manager. End agent.exe.

    That ought to fix it.

    Edit: Oh wait, Linux. I thought Dablo couldn't run on Linux cause "haxors."

    _J_ on
    Seriously J not only are you a monumentally umpleasant person when you start uttering the nonsense that passes for philosophy in your mind (shame on whatever institution you graduated in, and shame on your tutors for creating such a monster), but your sense of humor, such as it is, is awful.
  • japanjapan Registered User regular
    The WINE appdb says that Diablo (the first one) works, but the launcher menu doesn't display:
    Since the screen is black while using the main menu, here's how to start a new game and load a saved game.

    To start a new game:
    - Skip the intro with Enter.
    - Wait until you hear sound.
    - Press Enter (selects "Single Player").
    - Press Enter (selects "Warrior", if you prefer "Rogue" or "Sorcerer", press the down arrow once or twice respectively.)
    - Enter your characters name.
    - Press Enter (confirms your name).

    To load a saved game:
    - Skip the intro with Enter.
    - Wait until you hear sound.
    - Press Enter three times (selects "Single Player", then "Select Hero", then picks your hero).

  • mcdermottmcdermott Registered User regular
    supposedly it can using wine/playonlinux

    there was that story about people being banned for running on linux

    but it was like two dudes

    who were probably hacking

    i just want to be able to auction house without firing up my "real" computer....oh shit it's launching

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