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[Magic: The Gathering] - Clearly, the thread is Golgari-aligned.

ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morningRegistered User regular
edited April 2013 in Critical Failures
There is a game. It is called Magic: The Gathering.

This game was invented in 1994 by Dr. Robert Garfield, an hilariously fat cat with an honorary degree in tormenting mice. His understanding of nature’s unforgiving savagery lent him unique insights he fashioned into the initial design of the game. Like many cats, though, he soon grew bored and wandered off to do other things.

Since then, the game has come under the direction of the MaRo, a hideous beast that delights in torturing people after they give him money, and its erstwhile "owners", Sorcerers by the Sea. However, their perch is precarious. At the age of eighteen the game is now legal, but in the intervening time it has become a self-aware monster, its tentacles spreading to all corners of the globe, and now rather than the other way around it is busy fucking us to get at that sweet, sweet cash. They tend it carefully, lest they become its next victims.

But what is the game about, you may ask?
Spoiler:

In order to facilitate addiction, the Sorcerers have enacted a policy of regular releases, so just when one is shaking the cardboard monkey off the cardboard back, another leaps on and sinks its fangs deep.
Spoiler:

There are people who play this game for money, more cards, or money and more cards. They are called gamblers, and their filthy perversion of a fun game into a moneymaking criminal cartel goes unpunished, for reasons unknown. Truly, the end times are upon us.

Shuffle 'em if ya got 'em!



...you want a real primer? Fine. Stolen shamelessly from multiple MtG OPs and edited:

The basics of the game are (very) broadly as described above. If you want to get a closer look at the rules, check out this link and click on “New to Magic”.

There is also a game called Duels of the Planeswalkers (there are three games right now: the original, 2012, and 2013), and you can get the demo for any of the three versions for free on X-Box Live, Playstation Network, or Steam. They have tutorials built in! Isn’t that thoughtful?

...you’re having trouble finding players? Fair enough. You know the store where you got those cards? Ask them if they have any events. Typically they will have a thing called Friday Night Magic. There’s meet and greets, mini-tourneys, casual play, trades, anonymous group sex (but they will deny it if asked), the works.

Also, don’t worry about the lore. Do you need to care about the story in Risk? No, you just conquer all the other motherfuckers. If you want, you can look into it, but it doesn't need to distract you from enjoying the game.

The Colors
There are five colors of magic and over niiiiiiiiiiine thousaaaaaaaaaaaand individual cards between them, but basically they have the following style. (Some cards step out of these for various reasons, but this is a good rule of thumb.)

White: Small efficient armies of creatures. Healing. Permanent status effects. “Good guy” magic.
Blue: Countermagic. Locking down the board. Mind control. Card advantage through drawing more cards than an opponent. “Dick” magic.
Black: Creature killing. Creature punishment. Player punishment (and not just opponents). Card advantage through forcing an opponent to discard. “Sociopath” magic.
Red: Direct damage hitting creatures and players. Fast creatures with drawbacks. Dragons. “Psychopath” magic.
Green: Enormous creatures, hard to kill creatures, magical energy generated by creatures, and anti-air that would make an SR-71 nervous. “Forest path” magic.

Stolen even more blatantly from the last OP, here’s some awesome stuff to help you once you're past babby's first Human Soldier deck.
Spoiler:

Off you go!



MTGO
Magic: The Gathering Online? Oh, yes. That is a fing, isn't it. ...I don't play it. But here's some things held down and bloodily ripped off from the G&T thread.
Spoiler:

Go. Play.

Shadowen on
Antimattersilence1186Feral
«134567105

Posts

  • LucedesLucedes Registered User regular
  • TheBlackWindTheBlackWind Registered User regular
    Disagreeing with title. Blue control is best, smoothest high.

    Pokemon Black FC: 0518-7386-3511
    Pokemon Black 2: 0519-5108-3139
    TokyoV
  • ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning Registered User regular
    Disagreeing with title. Blue control is best, smoothest high.

    Even when you're playing against it?

    Antimatter
  • LucedesLucedes Registered User regular
    Shadowen wrote: »
    Disagreeing with title. Blue control is best, smoothest high.

    Even when you're playing against it?

    i always liked playing against control, tbh

    playing against aggro/burn irritates me the most
    i hate red so, so much

  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    I'd like to think that new Azorious card perfectly encapsulates the feeling of playing against control: it is about being caught up in grid-lock, desperately just wanting to do just a little damage to the enemy, while the turns count down to your inevitable defeat by flipping the table out of anger and therefore forfeiting the game.

    f1i3ys.jpg
  • peacekeeperpeacekeeper Brisbane, AustraliaRegistered User regular
    urgh i love watching draft vids, but that 'heezy' guy on scg, starts drafting blue, mind sculpt comes back to him 'i dont think mind sculpt is ever a good card', closed that tab so fast

  • PikaPuffPikaPuff Registered User regular
    I *think* detain will be the least hated of control for me. I rage at vapor snags. I flip tables at counters. But detain? I think I will just be annoyed. So I'm pretty happy with how they're trying to shape blue control this set/block.

  • nightmarennynightmarenny Registered User regular
    There are a lot of good counters in this set.

    Quire.jpg
  • LucedesLucedes Registered User regular
    There are a lot of good counters in this set.

    i'm really not sold on it, myself.
    there are some decent counters, but they're all really situational.

    i guess it doesn't ever get as good as counterspell/mana leak/remand again.
    wizards is pushing blue into not being the best color :<
    mainly by not making universal-target counterspells at 2cmc, and pushing them into 3cmc.

    i mean, syncopate is force spike for the price of mana leak, and pretty much mana leak for the price of cancel.

    are you going to run anything in this set over dissipate, when it comes to counters?

  • TokyoVTokyoV Registered User regular
    Shadowen wrote: »
    Disagreeing with title. Blue control is best, smoothest high.

    Even when you're playing against it?
    Control v Control seems like the most entertaining matchup.

  • ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning Registered User regular
    TokyoV wrote: »
    Shadowen wrote: »
    Disagreeing with title. Blue control is best, smoothest high.

    Even when you're playing against it?
    Control v Control seems like the most entertaining matchup.

    Control v. control is like those scenes in old chop socky films where the guys stay in one pose for like ten hours before anyone makes their first attack.

    ...which is admittedly kind of neat.

  • KelorKelor Registered User regular
    Next round of judge promos; Noble Hierarch and Karakas.
    promos.jpg

  • VyolynceVyolynce Registered User regular
    TokyoV wrote: »
    Shadowen wrote: »
    Disagreeing with title. Blue control is best, smoothest high.

    Even when you're playing against it?
    Control v Control seems like the most entertaining matchup.

    Spoken as someone who was never a judge at an Extended PTQ featuring seven Faeries decks in the Top 8.

  • metaghostmetaghost Registered User regular
    Old-frame Hierarch looks sweet, almost like it's from Mirage.

    Feral
  • ChenChen Registered User regular
    TokyoV wrote: »
    Shadowen wrote: »
    Disagreeing with title. Blue control is best, smoothest high.

    Even when you're playing against it?
    Control v Control seems like the most entertaining matchup.

    Counter wars are the best.

    I'm going to miss them.

    Anyway, I ordered a play set of Temporal Mastery, Terminus, Entreat the Angels and Tamiyo. I have a suspicion the format will slow down now that Delver won't be the menace it used to be post rotation and RtR has all these expensive cards. Zombies will be a force I reckon, which is why I think Terminus will be better most of the time than Supreme Verdict. I figure I might as well get Entreat the Angels for $13 a piece before they have a chance to get to Bonfire levels. Tamiyo at $16 is a bargain too I think. Hallowed Fountains still going strong at $23. Oddly, the RtR version is going for $15.

    l8kt.png
  • NullzoneNullzone Registered User regular
    edited September 2012
    His name is Richard Garfield :P

    Also shut your face on Duel Decks, they're fun! Also cheap ways to get access to really good and often expensive cards (Izzet vs Golgari has several cards worth $5-10 in it)

    Nullzone on
  • silence1186silence1186 Character shields down! As a wingmanRegistered User regular
    Mmm, got that new thread smell. Loved the primer, got a chuckle out of it.

    Last two cards got spoiled:

    Rakdos Ringleader 4BR uncommon
    Skeleton Warrior
    3/1 with First strike and B: regenerate

    Whenever it deals combat damage to a player that player discards a card at random.

    Conjured Currency 5U Rare Enchantment

    At the beginning of your upkeep, you may exchange control of Conjured Currency and target permanent you neither own or control.

    So you can't get back things other people steal from you with it.

    3DS Friend Code: 1891-2359-4305
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  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    Great OP.

    PikaPuff wrote: »
    I *think* detain will be the least hated of control for me. I rage at vapor snags. I flip tables at counters. But detain? I think I will just be annoyed. So I'm pretty happy with how they're trying to shape blue control this set/block.

    MaRo et. al. have acknowledged many times that one of the most disappointing things in Magic is not getting to cast your cards, whether it's because of counters or discard or mana denial. So it wouldn't surprise me if we're seeing a conscious attempt by design & development to push a control archetype that de-emphasizes counterspells in favor of on-board control.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
  • TerrendosTerrendos Decorative Monocle Registered User regular
    Feral wrote: »
    Great OP.

    PikaPuff wrote: »
    I *think* detain will be the least hated of control for me. I rage at vapor snags. I flip tables at counters. But detain? I think I will just be annoyed. So I'm pretty happy with how they're trying to shape blue control this set/block.

    MaRo et. al. have acknowledged many times that one of the most disappointing things in Magic is not getting to cast your cards, whether it's because of counters or discard or mana denial. So it wouldn't surprise me if we're seeing a conscious attempt by design & development to push a control archetype that de-emphasizes counterspells in favor of on-board control.

    It concerns me, however, because for years blue has been "balanced" around the fact that it has counterspells. Blue is the weakest of all the colors at permanently getting rid of something that's hit the field.

    I'm betting that Syncopate will be better than most people think. But if they really are pushing blue away from counterspells, I hope it's given something to compensate. I'd love to see Pongify in a Core Set, for example.

    Sig1.png
  • silence1186silence1186 Character shields down! As a wingmanRegistered User regular
    Feral wrote: »
    Great OP.

    PikaPuff wrote: »
    I *think* detain will be the least hated of control for me. I rage at vapor snags. I flip tables at counters. But detain? I think I will just be annoyed. So I'm pretty happy with how they're trying to shape blue control this set/block.

    MaRo et. al. have acknowledged many times that one of the most disappointing things in Magic is not getting to cast your cards, whether it's because of counters or discard or mana denial. So it wouldn't surprise me if we're seeing a conscious attempt by design & development to push a control archetype that de-emphasizes counterspells in favor of on-board control.

    So the casual room on MTGO has influenced design! No counters, discard, LD, indeed.

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  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    So the casual room on MTGO has influenced design! No counters, discard, LD, indeed.

    Well, I dunno for sure. I'm just hypothesizing.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    Terrendos wrote: »
    I'd love to see Pongify in a Core Set, for example.

    I love stuff like Pongify.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
    Tarantio
  • TryCatcherTryCatcher Registered User regular
    So, basically, control decks will play like Azorious.

    I'm ok with it.

  • GriswoldGriswold (a superset of all possible mathematics) (his body disintegrated)Registered User regular
    Feral wrote: »
    Terrendos wrote: »
    I'd love to see Pongify in a Core Set, for example.

    I love stuff like Pongify.

    You mean Swords to Monkeyshares.


  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    edited September 2012
    Griswold wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    Terrendos wrote: »
    I'd love to see Pongify in a Core Set, for example.

    I love stuff like Pongify.

    You mean Swords to Monkeyshares.

    Path to Ape-zile.

    Feral on
    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
  • NullzoneNullzone Registered User regular
    Haven't seen this card around yet, Armada Wang Wurm:

    Selesnya-Wurm-Return-to-Ravnica-Art.jpg

    Armada Wurm 2GGWW
    Creature - Wurm (Mythic Rare)
    Trample
    When Armada Wurm enters the battlefield, put a 5/5 Wurm token with trample onto the battlefield.
    5/5

    Feral
  • TerrendosTerrendos Decorative Monocle Registered User regular
    After reviewing the available cards, it's looking like my deck of choice will be RWU Control, with a heavy emphasis on mass removal and mass bounce. Naturally I will be calling it the Amuricadeck.

    I remain somewhat concerned that not having Snapcasters is going to make the deck unplayable, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

    Sig1.png
  • silence1186silence1186 Character shields down! As a wingmanRegistered User regular
    Terrendos wrote: »
    After reviewing the available cards, it's looking like my deck of choice will be RWU Control, with a heavy emphasis on mass removal and mass bounce. Naturally I will be calling it the Amuricadeck.

    I remain somewhat concerned that not having Snapcasters is going to make the deck unplayable, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

    There are seriously a great amount of board wiping effects in this Standard, many of them highly playable.

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  • VyolynceVyolynce Registered User regular
    Nullzone wrote: »
    Armada Wurm 2GGWW
    Creature - Wurm (Mythic Rare)
    Trample
    When Armada Wurm enters the battlefield, put a 5/5 Wurm token with trample onto the battlefield.
    5/5

    Restoration Angel's new best friend. Well... second-best, after Thragtusk.

  • LucedesLucedes Registered User regular
    Nullzone wrote: »
    Haven't seen this card around yet, Armada Wang Wurm:

    Armada Wurm 2GGWW
    Creature - Wurm (Mythic Rare)
    Trample
    When Armada Wurm enters the battlefield, put a 5/5 Wurm token with trample onto the battlefield.
    5/5

    oh mannnnn.

    now i've gotta play with a card that looks like a wang.

    :C

  • ShadowenShadowen Snores in the morning Registered User regular
    Was that card designed by the PA forums' own Dongs Galore?

  • silence1186silence1186 Character shields down! As a wingmanRegistered User regular
    With an assist from Premier Kakos, the Cock of the People.

    3DS Friend Code: 1891-2359-4305
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  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    I wonder what One Thousand Dicks thinks about this.

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
  • silence1186silence1186 Character shields down! As a wingmanRegistered User regular
    So breakdown of the set:

    28 mono-colored cards of each color
    - White has 3 Azorius and 4 Selesnya cards
    - Blue has 4 Izzet and 4 Azorius cards
    - Black has 4 Rakdos and 3 Golgari cards
    - Red has 4 Rakdos and 6 Izzet
    - Green has 4 Golgari and 2 Selesnya
    14 gold cards of each guild, with the exception of Selesnya, who has a land with a gold activate ability.
    15 hybrid mana cards, 3 for each guild, 1 at each rarity.
    12 artifacts, with 1 cycle of guild artifacts (Keystones)
    13 lands, with 2 cycles of guild lands (Gates and shocklands). The 13th land is, as mentioned above, basically a gold spell for Selesnya.
    25 basic lands

    Not sure about the mono-colored cards not having the same amount of guild cards per color. Seems like clumsy design, especially since they love love love cycles (who doesn't?).

    3DS Friend Code: 1891-2359-4305
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  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    Feral wrote: »
    Griswold wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    Terrendos wrote: »
    I'd love to see Pongify in a Core Set, for example.

    I love stuff like Pongify.

    You mean Swords to Monkeyshares.

    Path to Ape-zile.

    Ape-or Snag

    Love that flavor text: "Some spellcrafting mistakes go on to become spells of their own."

    f1i3ys.jpg
  • ChenChen Registered User regular
    Has there been information concerning the specifics of the guild packs? I imagine every guild-alligned card will be sorted out, but what about the mono-coloured cards? Every guild gets a slice of the colour pie?

    l8kt.png
  • WinkyWinky Registered User regular
    So breakdown of the set:

    28 mono-colored cards of each color
    - White has 3 Azorius and 4 Selesnya cards
    - Blue has 4 Izzet and 4 Azorius cards
    - Black has 4 Rakdos and 3 Golgari cards
    - Red has 4 Rakdos and 6 Izzet
    - Green has 4 Golgari and 2 Selesnya
    14 gold cards of each guild, with the exception of Selesnya, who has a land with a gold activate ability.
    15 hybrid mana cards, 3 for each guild, 1 at each rarity.
    12 artifacts, with 1 cycle of guild artifacts (Keystones)
    13 lands, with 2 cycles of guild lands (Gates and shocklands). The 13th land is, as mentioned above, basically a gold spell for Selesnya.
    25 basic lands

    Not sure about the mono-colored cards not having the same amount of guild cards per color. Seems like clumsy design, especially since they love love love cycles (who doesn't?).

    Arguably some of the mono-colored cards could be reasonably be considered to belong to a guild that they don't have the watermark for, as the watermark only shows up on cards that are multi-colored in the guild's colors or have the guild's keyword on them.

    f1i3ys.jpg
  • VyolynceVyolynce Registered User regular
    Not sure about the mono-colored cards not having the same amount of guild cards per color. Seems like clumsy design, especially since they love love love cycles (who doesn't?).

    Probably due to cards being designed (or included, in the case of reprints) specifically for a guild but not actually being labeled as such (Arrest = Azorius comes to mind). Sometimes that design might just be flavorful as well.

    What is more odd to me is the imbalance between total cards per guild, although that probably has the same solution.

  • silence1186silence1186 Character shields down! As a wingmanRegistered User regular
    Winky wrote: »
    So breakdown of the set:

    28 mono-colored cards of each color
    - White has 3 Azorius and 4 Selesnya cards
    - Blue has 4 Izzet and 4 Azorius cards
    - Black has 4 Rakdos and 3 Golgari cards
    - Red has 4 Rakdos and 6 Izzet
    - Green has 4 Golgari and 2 Selesnya
    14 gold cards of each guild, with the exception of Selesnya, who has a land with a gold activate ability.
    15 hybrid mana cards, 3 for each guild, 1 at each rarity.
    12 artifacts, with 1 cycle of guild artifacts (Keystones)
    13 lands, with 2 cycles of guild lands (Gates and shocklands). The 13th land is, as mentioned above, basically a gold spell for Selesnya.
    25 basic lands

    Not sure about the mono-colored cards not having the same amount of guild cards per color. Seems like clumsy design, especially since they love love love cycles (who doesn't?).

    Arguably some of the mono-colored cards could be reasonably be considered to belong to a guild that they don't have the watermark for, as the watermark only shows up on cards that are multi-colored in the guild's colors or have the guild's keyword on them.

    Mono-colored cards with an off color activation cost also get watermarks, I believe. There's only one card of those in each color, anyway, which strikes me as odd, since they could have reversed the colors as well (i.e. White card with a Green ability and vice versa, when only the former exists).

    3DS Friend Code: 1891-2359-4305
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  • FeralFeral Who needs a medical license when you've got style? Registered User regular
    Winky wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    Griswold wrote: »
    Feral wrote: »
    Terrendos wrote: »
    I'd love to see Pongify in a Core Set, for example.

    I love stuff like Pongify.

    You mean Swords to Monkeyshares.

    Path to Ape-zile.

    Ape-or Snag

    Unstable Mut-ape-shun

    every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
    the "no true scotch, man" fallacy.
«134567105
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