A Dinner for the ages

MetroidZoid

A hypothetical question that most of you have probably considered at one time or another; if you could have a dinner with any guest(s), who would they be (and presumably, why)?

This question comes to me tonight because I want to add another person to my guest list, Jack Horner. I'm listening to him talk about dinosaurs on TED talks and I could hear this guy go on and on about ceratopsians over a fancy steak dinner for hours. Additionally, I would have invite Stephen Fry, and maybe Eddie Izzard. Tina Fey if there isn't too many comedians about already. Haven't had any other 'must haves' on my list.

Let's make this interesting; what would you cook for them? Yes, you have to cook. You have to cook to the best of your ability so @Stale AND @NEVILLE already wins this but everyone else is welcome to try. And I guess sure you can have dead people at the table. But that'd be gross and foul smelling so whatever, your prerogative.

Dongs Galore

Milk & Cereal, by myself, in the dark


I can't cook and I'm shy

Brolo

Neil deGrasse Tyson

I'd be the dessert.

Moriveth

Morgan Freeman and Tom Waits to read the dictionary to me.

Brolo

Dongs Galore wrote: »

Milk & Cereal, by myself, in the dark


I can't cook and I'm shy

borfase naked and crying while eating an uncooked can of spaghetti-o's in a cold shower with the lights off

© 2005

Centipede Damascus

MetroidZoid

Oh man, I forgot to add Tyson. Great guy with a good sense of humor. But would it be to crowded with Nye? Man, I think I'd have to go with Tyson over Nye.

neville

Dongs Galore wrote: »

Dongs Galore wrote: »

Milk & Cereal, by myself, in the dark


I can't cook and I'm shy

you mean those asian dudes?
(hello 2001)

neville

Bill Gates - brilliant and a great humanitarian
Harvey Milk (if they can be passed already)
Lincoln - total baller, vampire slayer, etc.

Also @Metroidzoid you sayin' I can't compete with @stale? Lets fight :bz

TheStig

Bill O'Riley
A rabid pit bull

neville

TheStig wrote: »

Bill O'Riley
A rabid pit bull

which one is the dinner

Brolo

Centipede Damascus wrote: »

that's what happens when you cook with ﻼ˩IM

Stale

neville wrote: »

Bill Gates - brilliant and a great humanitarian
Harvey Milk (if they can be passed already)
Lincoln - total baller, vampire slayer, etc.

Also @Metroidzoid you sayin' I can't compete with @stale? Lets fight :bz

You come at the king... etc etc

Raijin Quickfoot

@Keith and I'd make him a delicious chilean sea bass

Clint Eastwood

Rick Ross.

Marathon

I bet President Obama would be a cool guy to have over for dinner.

Tina Fey would be good too, I'd wager.

MetroidZoid

OP edited for GLORIOUS OVERSIGHT.

Come on guys, let's not fight over dinner.

Adding Tina Fey to my 'maybe' list because dammit, they can't all be comedians. Or scientists. But what else is left?

Bill Clinton maybe?

MetroidZoid

n/m

Scudo

liz & dick

Munkus Beaver

I'd get basically every great chef ever.

And have them cook my meal.

Clint Eastwood

Gabe Newell

neville

Stale wrote: »

neville wrote: »

Bill Gates - brilliant and a great humanitarian
Harvey Milk (if they can be passed already)
Lincoln - total baller, vampire slayer, etc.

Also @Metroidzoid you sayin' I can't compete with @stale? Lets fight :bz

You come at the king... etc etc

Secret ingredient: CREAM CHEESE


get owned. :bz :bz :bz

Munkus Beaver

If I had to cook then I'd still get those chefs and then torture them until they gave up their prized recipes.

MetroidZoid

Munkus has inspired me to add Anthony Bourdain because what would dinner be without a funny asshole? I mean, I love the guy, but he can definitely be an asshole.

Darth Waiter

Sadistic answer:

Brisket with Hitler.

Manischewitz for an aperitif.

Real answer:

Chili with my great-grandfather.

Pearl Beer because that's what the man liked.

Darth Waiter

I really didn't mean to Godwin the thread, I apologize.

Single malt whiskey makes me less than sensitive.

Centipede Damascus

is there such a thing as multiple malt whiskey

godmode

I believe it's referred to as "blended".

Darth Waiter

godmode wrote: »

I believe it's referred to as "blended".

Which is like saying 'pure as the driven whore's piss.'

There are some decent blended malts, but the majority of them can fuck right off.

Single malts, even the really low-end ones, have unique properties that distinguish themselves from one another.

All of this is more than ironic coming from me because my palate for wine is absolutely terri-bad.

George Fornby Grill

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/14/artist-and-chef-julia-zie_n_1773210.html

godmode

Man, wine snobs get on my nerves.

Probably because I dated one and she always acted offended when I didn't get "deep" about the stuff.

If it's gonna get me drunk and it tastes good, I'm going to drink it.

MetroidZoid

All I know is that I love downing a cheap red wine, even better with someone else, even better in front of a campfire. I could care less what kind it is or where it came from.

Darth Waiter

George Fornby Grill wrote: »

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/14/artist-and-chef-julia-zie_n_1773210.html

I like the pot of coffee; I feel like I could shoot the shit with that guy.

godmode

I'd have dinner with Conan O'Brien.

Metz is invited too for agreeing with me. We're gonna have dinner with Conan, Metz!

Okay Nevs, you too.

Zonugal

I'd really love to have a dinner party with Immanuel Kant (supposing we can select the already deceased & grant them the ability to speak modern day English) mainly because he wrote down a philosophical treatise on how to run a dinner party.

On Kant's view dining alone is bad for a philosopher: it encourages 'intellectual self-gnawing' that leads to a lack of vitality. Eating with at least one other companion, on the other hand, allows for a good interchange of ideas. New material for thought flows into the mind in a natural way, without any of the forced effort required in tracking down new topics on one's own. As Kant puts it in Anthropology from a Pragmatic Point of View, the life that harmonizes best with our humanity is the life that involves, on a regular basis, good meals with good conversation. In such a life our need for nourishment, without being harmed or curtailed in any way, becomes an instrument for social enjoyment and philosophical thought: rest and reflection united as one. In light of this Kant gives us some tips to hosting a good dinner party (you can find them all in Anthropology, if you think I'm joking):

(1) The number of guests should follow Chesterfield's rule: no fewer than the Graces (i.e., three), no more than the Muses (i.e., nine).

(2) The dinner party must exist not merely for physical satisfaction but also for social enjoyment. (This is the reason for the bounds on the number of guests.)

(3) Anything indiscreet that is said at the table stays at the table: there is a moral sanctity to the dinner party, and a duty of secrecy, because without the trust made possible by these it is impossible to have enjoyable culture. This is not a mere matter of taste; it is a matter of the fundamental preconditions that allows free exchange of ideas in social interaction.

(4) When the dinner party is a full one, and there is plenty of time, the conversation during the dinner party should go through three stages:

(a) Narration, i.e., exchange of news
(b) Ratiocination, i.e., lively discussion of the diversity in judgment at the table
(c) Jest, i.e., play of wit

Thus the conversation should always begin with raising pertinent and personal material then move into lively discussion until, tired from the hard work of arguing and reasoning, everyone settles down into lighter talk that leads to laughter. According to Kant, with his nineteenth-century German skepticism about how interested a woman could be in heavy intellectual conversation, when women are present the last stage is especially important, so that by being given a chance to respond to teasing they can show their own intellectual merits.

(5) No dinner music whatsoever. Kant regards it as one of the most absurd innovations in his time.

Obviously, liveliness is the key to a successful dinner party. Fortunately, Kant gives us guidelines for that as well:

(6) Choose topics of conversation in which everyone is interested, and always give people the opportunity to add their own topics, if they are appropriate.

(7) Never allow an extended silence. There can be momentary pauses in conversation, but no more.

(8) Do not change the topic unless necessary and especially do not keep jumping from one topic to another. The conversation should flow naturally and exhibit an organic unity of its own. The reason for this is that in a symposium, as in a drama, the mind occupies itself in part by reminiscing over what has previously occurred and tying the various phases together. A conversation that keeps changing topics is as disconcerting as a play that keeps changing topics and themes.

(9) Dogmatism is to be forbidden absolutely, whether it be on the part of the host or on the part of the guests. When people get too serious and insistent, start making jokes to divert them back to play rather than business.

(10) When serious conflicts arise that really and truly cannot be resolved, self-discipline is essential so that passions do not run too hot. Tone is absolutely essential; even if very serious topics are broached, every effort should be exerted to avoid any estrangement of the guests from each other.

MetroidZoid

Adding Grant Morrison to the list.

Presumably, things get weird after dinner but before dessert.

E: Also getting a shitton of those boar ribs from that place in Seattle and arranging them nicely on a place with parsley.

KalTorak

my wife and I actually have a running list, but i can't remember it

I think Paul Rudd is on it. David Foster Wallace. Russell Brand. Michelle Obama. Jon Hamm.

Usagi

Rack of lamb, cigars and scotch with Richard Feynman

Barcardi

I would really like to get some pizza with Louis CK.

Or Pippa Middleton, i bet she would like pizza. Classy half royal pizza.

Darth Waiter

Gerard Butler.

I heard somewhere that he was on the wagon, so I guess it'll be Pellegrino.

Food-wise, I'm guessing a good steak and a blistered tomato; he just seems like that kinda guy.

godmode

Also the Obamas, Zach Braff, Donald Faison, Sarah Chalke, Judy Reyes, John C. McGinley, Christa Miller, Neil Flynn, Ken Jenkins, Heather Graham, and Michael J. Fox. Also Natalie Portman, Emma Watson, Ryan Gosling, Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Daniel Day Lewis, Neil Degrasse Tyson, Bill Nye, Bill Gates, Tom Hanks, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Daniel O'Brien, David Wong (I forget his real name), Stephen King, Tom Clancy, General James Amos, General James Conway, Dakota Meyer, and maybe a couple others.

I'd make hamburgers.