So this is a plot synopsis for a novel. I have never done one before and do not know what I'm doing. The problem is compounded by the fact that the book consists of three timelines featuring the same characters related in parallel, which I am unsure how to synopsis-ize. So this is my first stab.
I have read various suggestions for the length of a synopsis, going from two pages to ten pages to one synopsis page per 25 manuscript pages (which would be, like, 3200 words for an 80000 word novel and sounds fucking loony tunes, but whatever). I can probably cut this down without much effort, but I'm not even convinced the voice and style are appropriate, or that the level of detail is appropriate, or anything.
So. If you were an agent, would you want to make publishers give me money based on the following? Please check the appropriate box:
Spoiler:
PARKER sits in a doctor’s office waiting room with his daughter CHARLIE. Routine check-up. Same ol’, same ol’. Charlie doodles six-year-old masterpieces in her sketchbook while Parker fantasizes about stabbing the pretty receptionist with her own pen. The sticky red mess. He shudders at the visceral imagery, but boy would it make for a compelling narrative. Same ol’, same ol’.
Later, Charlie is back at school and Parker is back at home, distractedly seeking a new job in project management. In his head, Parker plays the conversation he knows is coming, the one with his wife GENNY where she tells him that the marriage is over, so sorry Parker. In his head, she realizes she still loves him. They kiss, they reconcile, slow pan to table lamp, cut scene.
Parker thinks back to when the marital troubles began, the failure of bedroom chemistry and general alienation that drove him to infidelity. He wants to be a good person, better than his estranged FATHER, the alcoholic, the abusive womanizer who left when Parker was a teenager.
That night, Parker and Genny hold their conversation: she’s sorry, it’s over. This time, there is no last-minute realization that they can make this work. There is no kiss and no slow pan. Cut scene.
Life continues for Parker and his family. Little Charlie doesn’t know that Daddy will be leaving just as soon as her parents get their financial ducks in a row. Parker puts on a good act as he and Genny go out with their friends, as Parker nods and smiles his way through dinner parties while imagining himself murdering the other guests.
When Parker receives the letter from his father, it’s the first time he’s heard from the man in twenty years. His father is dying and wishes for reconciliation. He wants to make amends, and Parker wonders: should he grant a dying man his final wish? What would Hollywood do?
It is in the wake of this reminder of his past that Parker, stumbles across the realization that he may fit the definition of clinical psychopathy. To his growing pile of concerns , add this: is he a psychopath? What would that mean? And what would his friends and family do if they ever found out?
Parker recalls his escapades with his old high-school flame, ANGELA, the woman who reintroduced herself into his life just two years back. He recalls the stuttering, long-distance affair they shared, and how handily he negotiated the river of lies. He recalls the lack of guilt, the sociopathic disregard for Genny’s feelings. Add to this his emotionless fascination with death and violence - proof positive that he is a psychopath, case closed, QED. Devastating, truly. But what a compelling plot twist in the film that is Parker’s life!
Weeks pass, and Parker and Genny move with tectonic speed towards the dissolution of their marriage, Parker pleading with her to change her mind, Genny stonewalling in her own, more subtle ways. Even as they share moments of genuine love towards one another, the strain of the approaching end leaves its marks, compounded further by Genny’s own loss of employment. There is tension , and even poor, oblivious Charlie has begun to feel it.
And that letter, clamped to the refrigerator, ignored. Parker recounts his upbringing, his mother and father each ruining him in their own unique ways. At last Genny demands: make a decision about your father, Parker. Don’t let this problem resolve itself.
Parker makes the call.
And finds that his father died just a few days back.
Parker attends the funeral, and as he’s making his way to the viewing room he imagines how this could’ve gone. A final confrontation in a quiet restaurant, Parker meeting his father and telling him: I hate you, dad. You were a terrible father and I fucking hate you. Then the door to the viewing room opens and Parker sees the body and knows that chance is gone. He will stand before these mourners, then, and deliver a pitch-black eulogy on exactly the sort of man his father was. Except Parker looks down at the newly-widowed ex-wife he never knew existed, sees her genuine grief, and he can’t do it. He gives a waffley speech about how each person is good in his own way and darts out of the building, mourning the Hollywood moment that was stolen from him.
Parker returns home to resume playing the loving husband for an audience of one. Except the performance is unconvincing; Charlie realizes that Mommy and Daddy are seeking a divorce. The familial stress reaches a breaking point and, one stormy night, as Charlie sleeps and Genny waits for Parker to return with frozen yogurt, Parker decides that if his life will contain uncertainty, it will be an uncertainty of his own manufacture. He will create his own dramatic plot twist. He stabs his car through a puddle and forces a hydroplane before slamming his car into a tree, a mid-speed collision calculated to be incalculable; let the narrative gods determine his fate.
Days later, swimming in and out of lucidity, Parker sees his daughter. And he knows: she is what matters. The best thing Parker’s father ever did for him was to leave, and though Parker’s father left after the damage had already been done, maybe it’s not too late for dear Charlie. Weekend visits, then. A removed sort of devotion. He will see her but he will not break her.
He comes to, and Genny is beside herself. She wonders if maybe they can work things out, maybe they can be a family, and he tells her: no. I love you, Genny, but no. You were right before, and we can’t work. We can be our own sort of family, but not with this simulacrum of a marriage.
Charlie rushes in – Daddy! You’re awake! – and, as their own sort of family, they embrace.
Weeks later, we see Parker getting ready for his first day at a new job. Genny hugs him goodbye and he walks, with Charlie, out through a garage filled with packed boxes that await his imminent move. As he drives her to school, Charlie makes Parker promise that he will call her every day. Parker promises. As she steps from the car, Charlie turns and smiles and says goodbye and I love you, Daddy. Parker sees her little blonde head disappear into a swarm of first-graders, and she is gone.
Cut scene and wrap.
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You're definitely tapping into something. I'm getting a bit of a "Death of a Salesman" vibe, though it's not overt. I guess my core thought is that, while it sound like a decent enough premise, an editor would probably be looking for a story that'll stand out from the crowd. What part of this story do you think does that? What do you think the big selling point, the emotional hook, is? Because I think that's what the summary really needs to get across. I can see hints of it, but you need to bring it to the surface.
The style's not bad, but it seems a bit lengthy and unfocused.
And yes, the opening couple of lines jar with the rest of the novel.
The question is whether this synopsis is the only thing the agent gets to read, or whether your query letter also has a shorter, more to-the-point summary of the book?
Parker is, on the surface, a good man with a good family, well-spoken and well-liked. But all that is a façade beneath which lies a coiling macramé of imaginary friends, stray cartoon characters, and vividly violent fantasies. A gilt-edged mask cribbed from three decades of pop-culture detritus, from television and cinema, from the saccharin promise of fairy-tale princesses.
In the wake of a crumbling marriage and the reemergence of a father better left estranged, Parker’s charismatic persona begins to show its first hairline fractures. And with the dawning realization that the man within may actually be a clinical psychopath, Parker must find a place for himself in a world in which he increasingly does not belong and, perhaps, cannot exist.
The Chinese Room is written in a variety of styles. In addition to standard narrative, elements of the book are told via screenplay, comic strip, and urban fairy tale, with each style helping to illustrate the lens through which Parker views his own life. The Chinese Room is a work of literary fiction, complete at 82,000 words.
And yes, I was concerned about how coherent or apparent various elements of the novel are represented in the synopsis. I'm not sure if things like the three parallel narratives need to be established in the synopsis, or if it's okay to just hint at what's going on there but stick to the present narrative with occasional hints of what's going on elsewhere.
I guess the major plotlines consist of:
A) Parker is negotiating the impending dissolution of his family (present)
B) Parker is dealing with his father's reemergence (present)
C) Parker is dealing with his possible psychopathy (present)
D) Parker is having an affair (past)
While it's not true that nothing happens, the main conflicts are largely internal, as Parker exists largely inside his own head.
So... yeah. Still trying to figure out what to do with all that.
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
There are some areas where I think this still needs work, though. Particularly parts of the first half feel very meandering. I know it's very much a character driven novel, but I'm lacking a connection with Parker in this synopsis that makes me care about all of the crap going on in his life.
There are also parts of this that feel a little bloated, like this:
It feels like a lot of words to get the point across, to me. I like the conversational tone you're using throughout the piece, but I think you can find a balance between that and succinctness.
As far as the length of the synopsis goes, it's going to depend entirely on the agent. Some agents will ask you for an ultra-short one or two page synopsis and others will want something like 10 pages. Most of the ones I've looked up give some kind of guideline, so I'd just keep that in mind and be ready to either make cuts or expand as necessary.
I think you've got a good base here, you just need to tune it up!
- I now indicate Parker's profession
- I tweaked part of it to indicate Parker's desire to be a good person. Hopefully this humanizes him a little for the purposes of the synopsis. In truth, the character is supposed to be not so much likable as sympathetic, but hopefully he at least sounds like someone you'd like to read about.
- It's now about 20% shorter. I tried to streamline principally the front end, but snipped as liberally as I could throughout. I'm unsure of what else could plausibly be cut without flat-out killing the narrative style (which doesn't mean it can't be done, only that I'm not sure what else could be sacrificed.)
The points I'm now hitting, basically:
- This is Parker, a kind of weird but earnest guy who dreams about killing people.
- His marriage is buggered and he wants to fix this.
- Also, his father was a total fucker.
- His wife says nope, it's over.
- They're stuck together for the time being, though. Parker abides.
- Parker gets a deathbed letter from dad, who wants to reconcile.
- Also, surprise, Parker! You're possibly a crazy person!
- Parker undergoes introspection and decides, yep, I'm a crazy person.
- Parker abides some more. Tension is building.
- Parker finally decides to see his dad, but whoops, dad's dead.
- Parker seeks some sort of catharsis regarding the dad situation and cannot find it.
- He goes home and now Charlie has learned that Mommy and Daddy are divorcing.
- Everything is shit now and Parker snaps and attempts a sort of half-assed suicide.
- In the calm surrounding the accident, Parker realizes what he needs is to provide for Charlie, which means partially removing himself from her life.
- Flash forward, Parker is on a sort of healing path, with a new job and bittersweet hope for the future.
- The End!
I think these probably are the bare minimum of points I need to hit?
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
I don't get a lot of the elements that you are trying to relay in the query which sounds like a much more interesting story. I'd consider writing the synopsis in the three different time lines. I'm assuming they get mixed up in the actual novel, but for the synopsis write them out linearly as individual stories. If you don't think that straight forward approach would work, I'd still recommend writing them out like that and posting them in here for us to help you mix them around into one synopsis that kind of creates the singular flavor of the novel.
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{My Rambling Blog}
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
Part of the issue is that Parker doesn't really seem like a psychopath. He genuinely seems to love his daughter and have feelings for his wife. Psychopaths are defined by very shallow emotions, but Parker is driven by some very strong ones. It's going to be hard, writing this story, to keep doubt in the reader's mind on whether he is or is not a psychopath, especially depending on how much you choose to describe psychopathy in the story. Also, I should note that to date I don't believe there is a clinical diagnosis of psychopathy. There's the Robert Hare psychopathy checklist, but that's not quite the same thing. There have been cases of the checklist administered incorrectly; perhaps Parker could read an article about it, become worried it could apply to him, and then go to some place where the checklist is administered poorly, which produces mixed results?
Final thought: charlie is six. How does she know what divorce is, and what signs could she pick up on that one is imminent?
If you have the time, here is a scene-by-scene synopsis of the story (in pretty dry prose). Currently it's about 3500 words, which is about 2500-3000 too many, but hopefully you can see the structure of the story now. I've coded each paragraph to reflect which timeline it represents - normal font is stuff happening in the present, bolded font is stuff that happened in the recent past, and italicized font is what happens during Parker's childhood.
After dropping his daughter off at school, Parker, an unemployed ex-project manager, returns home. While making lunch, he rehearses a conversation with his wife, Genny, in which she says she’s going to leave him, but he talks her out of it and they kiss. It’s revealed that she previously caught him in an affair.
Parker and Genny are at home, Charlie in bed. The pair are close and get along well. They play Scrabble and Parker wins, but he goes easy on her, reflecting that people do not like being beaten too badly.
Parker is tooling around on the internet, and we see deeper into his thought processes, how he works. He is exceptionally intelligent, but hides this from most people.
Parker, age three, executes a grand plan to build a tall tower out of his blocks, told in a storybook style. He is careful not to wake Daddy, who he seems to somewhat fear. His manner of thinking is clearly different from that of most three year old boys.
Parker picks up Charlie from school, and they chat. Charlie, like her Daddy, is very intelligent. Her precocious behavior is related in the style of a comic strip. Later, after dinner, Parker goes to get frozen yogurt for himself and Genny. On his way to the store, he fantasizes about driving his car into a tree.
Parker, still three, is in a pickup truck, waiting alone outside a bar for several hours while Daddy gets good and drunk. Once again told in storybook prose. He imagines Jerry Mouse, of Tom and Jerry, as his companion to pass the time.
Parker and Genny hold that conversation that Parker imagined earlier. The conversation he rehearsed earlier plays out, narrated as a screenplay. It does not go as he had imagined, and Genny expresses her intention to leave him. She says she’s sorry, but she doesn’t think she ever really loved him, and she doesn’t think she’s ever really been attracted to him. She’s not even sure he’s capable of love. But she still cares for him.
Parker and Genny at home. Parker tries to seduce Genny, but he's awkward and clumsy and she avoids his effort, as she usually does. He asks if she still finds him attractive, and she says that she does, and promises they’ll make love at some future point. Parker goes to bed and lies awake, having suffered from stress-based insomnia for the last several months, due to a string of bad luck for he and his family.
Parker is at a restaurant and discusses his impending divorce with his friend Marcos.
Later, Parker is putting Charlie to bed and reads her a bedtime story. Parker reflects about proper happy endings.
Parker and Genny attend a dinner party celebrating a friend’s birthday. Parker is trapped in banal conversations with banal people and imagines himself murdering the other guests. That night, after they return home, Parker receives a letter from his estranged father – the first contact in twenty years – saying that he has cancer and would like to reconcile.
Parker is contacted by an old girlfriend, Angela, who has stumbled across him online and wants to catch up. He emails a reply, innocently assuming no harm will come of his just saying hello.
Parker and his family are bowling with some friends. One of the friends remarks how much Charlie acts like Parker. That night, Genny having gone out with another friend, Parker and Charlie sing a musical number in which Parker relates – to the audience, not to Charlie – how much he’s going to miss her.
Parker, age six, leads a group of classmates in recess activities, pretending to be Smurfs. Still related in storybook style. He views these children not as friends but as associates. After an encounter with a bully leads him to break his arm, he asks a teacher to help him give the proper response – should he cry? Should he be yelling?
Parker is at home. The letter from his father is on the fridge. It has been weeks, but he hasn’t decided what to do. He and Charlie go to the grocery store which triggers another comic-strip tale of her antics. Later that night, Genny reveals that she has lost her job, as well. The couple realize that there is no way the can afford to separate right now, and must keep up the ruse of their marriage a bit longer, trying to protect Charlie from the truth.
Parker and Angela, having chatted online for several weeks now, decide their families should get together for a BBQ.
Parker, while tooling around on the internet, stumbles across information on psychopathy, and the various traits of a psychopath. In examining his own life, Parker decides he might be a psychopath himself, and vows to look into the issue.
Following the BBQ, Parker and Angela reveal to each other that they are attracted to one another, and that this is probably a bad thing.
Parker and Markos chat in a restaurant again. Parker reveals that he thinks he might have psychopathic tendencies. Markos is unconvinced and thinks he’s just trying to beat himself up over the Angela thing.
Parker and Angela talk on the phone, having grown closer. Parker reveals that he often hides who he is, his intelligence and his unconventional manners of thinking, from others. He relates a tale in which he, as a child, beat numerous grown-ups at a game and they grew angry with him. Angela tells him he shouldn’t have to hide.
Parker spends his days watching old movies about psychopaths as portrayed by Hollywood, while teaching himself about psychopathy and sociopathy via online articles. He wonders if it’s only a matter of time until he snaps and commits his own acts of violence.
Parker, age six, sneaks out of bed early Sunday morning to get to the funny pages in the weekend newspaper. He is very careful not to wake Daddy, who will beat him if he sees Parker messing with the paper before Daddy gets it, and also meticulous in covering his tracks. He reflects on his preference for the comics that most reflect real life – the ones in which people are yelled at or beaten. Bonus points if they contain talking animals, because sometimes a LITTLE fantasy is nice.
Parker and his family are at their friends’ house, celebrating Christmas. For a moment, he can pretend that everything is fine, then he remembers that he’s a psychopath whose family is imploding, but he still wears his smile at all times.
Parker and Angela are in the woods, where their families are camping together. While the children play and the spouses nap, the two profess their love for one another, narrated once more as screenplay. They share a single, brief kiss.
Parker’s sister, Nica, calls him to invite him to a birthday party for her new boyfriend. Parker asks her if she ever wishes she could see Dad again – no, she says, not really. He does not tell her about the letter.
Parker, age six, is carried to bed by his mother after returning from a trip to Disneyland. He accidentally hurts himself crawling into bed, and his mother scolds him for appearing ungrateful and insufficiently happy. That night, Parker dreams of his father being eaten by tigers while Parker watches, emotionless. He wakes up frightened, and sneaks into his parents room to sleep beneath the foot of their bed, careful not to disturb them.
Parker and Angela exchange amorous emails. Later that evening, Parker tries once more to seduce Genny and fails once again. He loves Genny, and wishes she could give him what he needed, but if she can’t, then is Parker’s affair with Angela really wrong?
Parker drives to his sister’s party, hosted at his mom’s house, while listening to the soundtracks from eighties teen movies, the ones in which everyone lives happily ever after, in which the boys get the girls. Genny opted not to go after she grew weary of Parker pestering her to change her mind about the divorce. Parker arrives at the party and mingles with people he neither knows nor cares about, occasionally imagining himself killing them. Parker’s mom circulates among the guests, bragging about how smart Parker is; the guests treat Parker with passive-aggressive hostility.
Parker, age eight, sits in the car, once again en route to Disneyland. It’s his turn to pick what audio tape to listen to. When he picks a tape that she is tired of, his mother explains how normal people listen to a variety of music, then manipulates Parker into choosing a tape that she enjoys.
The morning following the party, Parker confronts his mother and asks why she gave his father Parker’s address. She tells him that maybe he can learn something from the man.
Parker, at work, goes through his daily routine of keeping the workplace running smoothly. He reflects on how he manipulates the other employees into working well together, occasionally feigning errors or emergencies to build camaraderie. His boss is kind of a dick. Angela contacts him via chat and Parker is distracted, but still happy to hear from her.
Driving home from the party, Parker thinks about what his mom said, still listening to eighties movie soundtracks: learn from your father. Parker supposes that he has probably learned more valuable life lessons from these eighties icons than from his parents.
Parker is at work, debugging programming code, when Angela texts him again. His inability to focus on his work is increasingly apparent.
Parker, still driving, still reflecting on his relationship with Genny and how it should work in the context of old teen movies.
Parker is at home, talking on the phone with Angela. He’s happy to hear from her, but concerned about this sort of risky behavior – what if Genny had answered the phone? Angela suggests she may know a way for she and Parker to be alone together.
Parker, still driving, now reflecting on his affair with Angela in the context of an eighties movie love song that was selected to be romantic in spite of the fact it’s about two people having an affair.
Angela and Parker meet, preparing to go with old high-school friends to see a play in the city. Alone for now, they have dinner and talk in between bouts of fevered make-out sessions. After the play, with all of the high-school friends going to a bar to get drunk, Angela and Parker return to one of the friend’s house, currently empty. In screenplay format, the pair reflect on their good fortune and retire to the bedroom, the camera slow-panning to a bedroom lamp, fade out. Afterward, Parker rehearses his version of the evening to present to Genny. Stopping to get gas, he fantasizes about setting fire to the gas station and himself.
Arriving home at last after his long journey, Parker and his family resume their life. Tension is building in the family as Parker and Genny continue to hide their impending divorce from Charlie. Parker sets aside the issue of his father for now. After school one day, wracked with stress, Parker explodes at Charlie after she throws a tantrum, accidentally knocking her into a wall where she bumps her head. As she lies there crying, Parker imagines locking her in the garage, binding and gagging her, burying her behind a wall, Cask of Amontillado-style. The moment passes and he holds her, apologizing.
Parker, age 10, after school one day, finds his cat dead in the street. He examines the cat with emotionless interest, then tells his mom that the family pet is dead. She chastises him for his insufficient display of emotion, asking him if he’s even human.
Parker and Charlie sit on the sofa together, watching a Disney cartoon. Charlie asks why people do evil things.
Parker, age 11, watches sitcom reruns and wonders if his family dynamic is normal, given that it seems to deviate from what appears on television. Parker imagines his mom sitting beside him, and converses with her about what it means to be normal. Imaginary mom tells him that he’ll continue to pretend that everything in their household is fine, because that is what’s right and proper.
Parker and Charlie, still watching the Disney movie, continue to talk about evil. Charlie asks if the bad guys always lose in real life, and Parker says they’ll have to wait and see.
Parker, age twelve, along with a boy and girl acquaintance from the neighborhood, torture a frog they had found. Parker feels uncomfortable because they are being insufficiently discreet, unlike Parker, who is very careful when he tortures animals. Parker has a crush on the girl, but she and the other boy are mutually attracted to one another. The girl eventually puts the frog out of its misery – a different kind of princess, bring a different kind of ending to her frog. Parker realizes the girl will never feel that way about him, and so he plays matchmaker for the girl and boy instead.
Parker and Markos in another restaurant, continuing to discuss Parker’s potential psychopathy. Markos questions Parker about how he’s so sure he’s a psychopath – maybe he’s a sociopath. Maybe a narcissist. Parker explains that it doesn’t matter – the important thing is that he’s broken. Markos questions why Parker so badly wants this to be true.
Parker, at work, is becoming more distracted. He’s letting tasks slip and everything is falling apart. The stress of keeping the affair secret, and of his continued (and worsening) insomnia, is making it nearly impossible to function. He imagines Jerry Mouse sitting on his desk, mocking him.
Genny, at home with Parker, tells him that he needs to make a decision regarding his father, before the situation resolves itself. Parker, reluctantly, picks up the phone and makes the call.
Parker has been caught slacking off at work. His boss moves his workspace to just outside the boss’s office and watches him work all day while berating him.
Parker, having contacted the number given to him by his father, reaches a strange woman, instead. She informs Parker that his father died just a few days back.
Parker is now almost completely unable to function due to stress and sleeplessness. Genny accompanies him to the doctor, and Parker relates his recent troubles to the doctor. It’s revealed that Markos, Parker’s sole confidante, actually died in a car accident several years back. The doctor prescribes Parker sleeping pills to help with the insomnia and instructs Parker to take a few weeks off work to get his mind back in order.
Parker arrives at the funeral home where his father rests. Before stepping inside, he imagines a confrontation with his father inside a restaurant, in which Parker tells his father that he was a terrible parent and that he hates him.
Parker, age fourteen, has feigned illness to stay home from school. Last night, during a fight, Parker’s father attempted to kill his mother before storming out of the house. Parker’s mother comes downstairs and Parker discusses this with her, expressing that maybe he should have left years ago. His mother explains that she wanted him around because children need a dad, even if the dad isn’t perfect, and that she sacrificed a lot to ensure that Parker and his sister did not grow up poor and fatherless.
Back in the real world, Parker goes to see the corpse, vowing to give a eulogy that conveys exactly what sort of person his father was. He begins the eulogy, in screenplay format, but when he sees his father’s grieving widow, he can’t go through with it. The illusion of the screenplay breaks, Parker’s narrative shield from the real world, breaks down and the story slips abruptly back into regular prose. He leaves the funeral parlor, robbed of his Hollywood moment, and realizes that his father isn’t the one who turned him into the broken human he is today – it was his mother and her passive-aggressive manipulation over the years.
Genny confronts Parker about his affair with Angela after Genny stumbles across the truth. In screenplay style, they discuss what this means for their future. Parker, under the influence of his sleeping pills, goes to sleep as Genny holds him, crying.
Parker reflects on his revelation regarding his mother. He and Charlie go to the grocery store, which is related as a comic-strip. Instead of amusing antics, though, Charlie asks Parker if he and Mommy are getting a divorce, and he admits to it. Later that evening, Genny and Parker discuss the issue with Charlie, who is dazed and emotionally numb.
Parker, recently fired for trying to take time off work, has given Genny access to his email account, so she can see for herself what happened between he and Angela. He hopes that this full honesty will serve as atonement. After reading several messages, Genny storms out of the house, threatening to go stay with her mother. Parker, distressed, tries to message Angela, who is distraught over the turmoil of their aborted affair and logs off.
At home eating dinner, Parker’s family bickers and yells at one another, the stress of Charlie now knowing their secret driving a wedge between all of them. Parker leaves and goes to bring back frozen yogurt.
Alone, Parker looks at his sleeping pills and seriously contemplates suicide, ultimately deciding he can’t do that to his daughter. Genny returns and tells Parker that she’s staying, but that Parker must move out for the time being, to give them time to think.
Parker drives through a rain storm, ultimately buying yogurt for he and Genny.
Parker, age sixteen, arrives at his girlfriend’s house for a date. While he is very polite to the girl’s father, the father seems to feel Parker is too intelligent for his own good. Parker joins the father to watch an old Jimmy Stewart movie, Harvey, in which Stewart proclaims that it’s more important to be nice than to be smart. Parker vows to adjust his conversation and his mannerisms downward in hopes of alienating people less.
On the way back from getting yogurt, Parker imagines a conversation with Genny. He yells at her for pretending to love him for all these years, but in the end he feels no emotion at the intendedly cathartic exchange. Even this rage is just another lie, another false attempt at a dramatic moment. Parker forces his car to crash into a tree, deciding he will create his own dramatic moment. He blacks out.
After spending a week with his friends, Parker returns home to reunite with Genny. She tells him that she loves him and that she wants to make it work, and they embrace, communicating their undying devotion to one another.
In comic strip style, Parker awakens for a moment to see Charlie at his hospital bedside, but passes out before he can tell her anything. He dreams about the two of them at a park, and he tells Charlie that he loves her and just wants her to be happy. Parker awakens and imagines the deceased Markos in the hospital with him, where Parker relates his intention to give Genny her divorce, and suggest that she have full custody over Charlie. He will still visit her often, but hopefully if he removes himself from the family, Charlie will have a chance to grow up as a healthy and whole individual, unlike Parker. Parker opens his eyes and sees Genny, who ruses to his side and tells him that she wants things to work out between them. Parker gently informs her that he wishes this was the case, but that he knows this is not really what she wants. Charlie comes in and they all embrace, as a family, only not so much.
Parker, age twenty-one, sits in at his college campus and recalls the break-up with his recent girlfriend. She said she liked him and that he was a nice person, but that she’s unsure if he’s actually capable of love. He tries to focus on his schoolwork. A girl sits down at the table across from him, and they begin chatting. She introduces herself as Genny.
Parker is getting ready for the first day of a new job. Most of his belongings are packed, and he will be moving out soon. He takes Charlie to school, and thinks about Angela, who he has not spoken to since that final time on the computer, and hopes she’s doing well. Charlie makes Parker promise to call her every night, and Parker does. She exits the car and Parker watches her disappear into the crowd.
One final comic strip scene – Parker pushing Charlie on a swing. They smile at each other. Parker pushes Charlie, and as she leaves the frame, Parker’s smile falls.
END
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
I would probably characterize the chief conflict as Parker's feeling that his life is falling apart, especially as it pertains to his relationship with his daughter. To the extent this can be pinned on a single event, I would say it's the divorce. The psychopathy bit is key to the plot, and probably what differentiates the story, but I don't know if I would call it the chief conflict so much as a factor in Parker's reckoning of what he needs to do to sort his life out, along with the bit with his father.
That said, what do you feel would be necessary to make that (the divorce) seem the focus of the book?
@VanityPants
Do you have any idea how forgiving an agent might be in reading a plot synopsis? Like, is it "I don't fully understand why the character might have done this, but this is only a 500 word summary, and it's probably covered in the book" or "I don't fully understand why the character might have done this, EPIC FAIL, GO AWAY YE UNWORTHY"?
I would be more comfortable if I had some idea of how nitpicky I'm supposed to be here.
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
I think they're fairly forgiving, within reason. I got two full request for Lorelei from agents I'd sent a synopsis to, and I know my synopsis was pretty rough. Rougher than what you have here, certainly.
The thing is, you're just not going to be able to explain all of the reasoning behind everything. Not in a synopsis. The agents needs to know who all of the important people are and what all of the big events are and they need to know how those big events are connected/why they happen/what the arc is. Make sure that part is as solid as you can. To my understanding, the smaller issues are just that--smaller issues, and it's okay to simplify why your character does something as long as it's an accurate representation.
Here, maybe this will help. I know you read The Exiled God for me a while ago (thanks!), here's what the end of my synopsis for that one looked like:
Banbeal fights against fire, swords, and arrows, but with Pelagia’s help they cast the Burned Men out. Arlen manages to escape, but Banbeal survives and Pelagia stays to help the people repair their city. Arkadios comes to Pelagia after the battle with word that Aturan has gone missing; he asks for her help in finding the false god and fighting for peace. Her faith renewed in the gods and the mortal people, Pelagia agrees to stay in Lismagh and help him.
Pelagia knows that war will come again, but now she sees clearly what she’s fighting for.
You can see how simplified things are in comparison to the actual story.
Maddie: "I am not!"
Riley: "You're a marsupial!"
Maddie: "I am a placental mammal!"
Work from Parker worrying about being a psychopath and then add in his past of animal torture and then the fact that his best friend is dead and he imagines talking to him around the same time that you get to when he accidentally knocks Charlie into a wall.
After that you can build toward the happy-esque conclusion of the story.
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