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HUMAN/NATURE Webcomic

Human/Nature WebcomicHuman/Nature Webcomic Human/Nature WebcomicNarniaRegistered User regular
edited February 2013 in Artist's Corner
Hey Everybody,

My friend and I have been working on a webcomic for the better part of six months now and I just wanted to share it and get some feedback. It's called HUMAN/NATURE and is about an office where talking animals and humans work side-by-side (sort of Richard Scarry meets The Office, with a dash of Dilbert thrown in for good measure). Any comments would be much appreciated!

2012-07-30-Butt-In%2C-Butt-Out.jpg

Grifter on
HUMAN/NATURE Webcomic
www.humannaturecomic.com

Posts

  • amateurhouramateurhour Registered User regular
    Your characters are very animated and personable (i.e. the dog acts like an excited dog) and I like that.

    Here's what I do...
    The Vac - My Science Fiction Epic
    Fortune Pancakes - My Gag-A-Day Comic
  • franciumfrancium Registered User regular
    I like the message. (A lot)

    Drawing is crisp.
    Can we see some more please?

  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    Last Panel is totally unnecessary. It actually kills it for me. If you need to explain the joke, the it didn't hit. But i do like the art. As a matter, you could drop the last panel AND the first 2.


    1) As a small side note, one day, I really hope to be King Penis of Fuck Mountain.

    2) No shitty anime or wolf-people, take that crap to deviant art
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    To me...this works better.
    reworked_zps97c9bf12.jpg


    1) As a small side note, one day, I really hope to be King Penis of Fuck Mountain.

    2) No shitty anime or wolf-people, take that crap to deviant art
    NibCrom
  • Human/Nature WebcomicHuman/Nature Webcomic Human/Nature Webcomic NarniaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2013
    Thanks for all the feedback, everybody! Much appreciated!

    Grifter on
    HUMAN/NATURE Webcomic
    www.humannaturecomic.com
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    edited February 2013
    Stop that. Constantly mentioning that members should check out your site makes me suspicious, and think that you are actually here just to drive traffic to your site. Put the link in your sig, People will check it out if they are interested, and you continue to respond to feedback.

    Iruka on
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  • franciumfrancium Registered User regular
    This joke says to me that the guy who judges everyone has a nasty habit. When you remove the last panel you change the meaning to be a comparison of smoking vs ass licking.

    So remove the panel if you didn't mean to be deep. Keep it if you intended to make me think about how the human is the disgusting one.

    ninjai
  • NakedZerglingNakedZergling A more apocalyptic post apocalypse Portland OregonRegistered User regular
    francium wrote: »
    This joke says to me that the guy who judges everyone has a nasty habit. When you remove the last panel you change the meaning to be a comparison of smoking vs ass licking.

    So remove the panel if you didn't mean to be deep. Keep it if you intended to make me think about how the human is the disgusting one.

    But the guy who is judging isn't the guy licking his butthole. SO "the guy who judges everyone has a nasty habit" doesn't hold water.

    OP are YOU the one drawing this? I'm getting a site whoring vibe...


    1) As a small side note, one day, I really hope to be King Penis of Fuck Mountain.

    2) No shitty anime or wolf-people, take that crap to deviant art
    m3nace
  • MustangMustang Registered User regular
    I don't have anything to add, just wanted to let you know that I like this.

  • Human/Nature WebcomicHuman/Nature Webcomic Human/Nature Webcomic NarniaRegistered User regular
    Hey Guys,

    Thanks for the comments (and good call, Iruka - I've gone ahead and added the link to our website in my signature). I also like your suggestion for a new possible layout, NakedZergling. Sometimes saying less really is more. In the meantime, here's an older comic we posted a few months back. Would love to hear everyone's thoughts on it.

    2012-04-23-To-Stapler-Is-Human.jpg

    HUMAN/NATURE Webcomic
    www.humannaturecomic.com
  • EncEnc FloridaRegistered User regular
    /unlurk

    I would suggest you try something when you make your rough outlines for each panel. Write out the entire comic as you picture it in your head, do very light doodles and take a look at the entire comic. Then make a layer/use a piece of paper to cover up everything but the punchline.

    Now ask yourself: is the punchline solvent by itself? If not, add one panel. Is it now? If not, add another back in.

    The stapler comic could be told just as easily with just one or two panels, rather than five buildup, to the same effect. You only have your audience's attention for about 30 seconds per comic (at most), so you probably want to convey the joke as quickly as possible and then move on to the next. If it takes a dozen panels, most will pass on it unless you have a proven track record for keeping each panel needed and necessary for the joke to succeed.

    Also: I like your art style a lot. Tighten up your writing and you will be in a good place.

    /lurk

    Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.
    3ds Friend Code: 5043-2266-3066
  • IrukaIruka Registered User, Super Moderator, Moderator mod
    Just to offer an alternative, I do like long build ups, but it has to be worth it. It looks like you have mostly gag strip influences. Consider KC green and how he switches between really dumb jokes and long form stories like Anime Club. Maybe there's more to the narrative you'd like to tell. Maybe there's not, and you should just tighten things up. Its up to you. Gag format will usually lend itself to quick and funny, but its not the only way.

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    Enc
  • PifmanPifman Registered User regular
    I like the artwork in that last stapler comic a LOT more. Very straightforward black & white line art. In fact, the couple tiny parts that have blurry gray shading (used heavily in the last panel) stand out in a bad way. The last panel could have had the same punch with solid black used instead of a fuzzy brush. Using all solid b&w is definitely a skill (one I hope to better achieve someday myself) but it looks like you've practically got it.

    As for the first comic, it's so busy (mainly the background). To the point of taking away from both the art and the joke. My eye doesn't know what it what and where one panel starts and the next begins. The stapler comic just implies an office and it's crystal clear. I love it. Although, it's a little odd that they're standing (with no desks) for two panels, then magically behind a desk again. Maybe if it showed them getting coffee, or at the water cooler it would do the classic fast-cut, still-arguing-in-another-location joke that implies it's a long argument.

    Lastly, the guy in the first panel of the stapler comic really really works for me. In fact, the more he looks like a big tubular big-toe, the better. In my opinion.

    PA-Signature.gif
  • PifmanPifman Registered User regular
    I've been looking at your comic some more and I thought I'd add some more.

    Like Enc and Iruka are getting at. Panel-pacing is a very tricky part of nailing a joke. Have you ever checked out Scott McCloud's 'Making Comics'? There's a section very early on on how many panels it takes to get an idea across. Yes, sometimes you can take a panel out and have the same conclusion, but there's a good chance it'll change the joke/story/mood. Sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse. I can't say there are any glaring mistakes length-wise in what you've posted, but I guess I'm just suggesting you be hard on yourself when editing. Does this line REALLY help the joke? It might be good, but is it strong enough? For example, there's a chance your stapler comic would be even funnier if the guy didn't say his 2nd and 3rd lines at all, instead the raccoon just goes on an instant defensive rant. Sorry, just posting thoughts.

    The other thing I wanted to bring up was your distorted rounded-rectangles. You know when you walk into a bar and they have the local game on a big high-def widescreen, only you can't quite put your finger on it... they're stretched out... right? Squished? Maybe? Indeed, they've stretched a 4:3 image out to 16:9. That's essentially what you've done with your rectangular speech balloons. I assume they were perfect shapes with perfect corners at one point, and then streettcched out to fit the dialog, yes? This messes up the corners, as you can see when comparing the two raccoon's speech balloons in the middle two panels of the stapler comic. If you're able to figure out a better way, it might help give your comics an even more polished feel. If you're having trouble figuring out a good solution, just say so and I can throw some ideas out there.

    PA-Signature.gif
  • Human/Nature WebcomicHuman/Nature Webcomic Human/Nature Webcomic NarniaRegistered User regular
    Hey Guys,

    Thanks for all the feedback! We really appreciate it. The stapler comic (entitled to "Stapler is Human") is a bit of an older strip, but one of the things we've tried to do is pace our comics out a little longer. The short, punchy three panel strips are great, but we wanted to experiment by making ours a bit longer to not only try and squeeze in a few more jokes before the inevitable punchline, but also to try and flesh out our characters a little more. Here's an example of something that could probably be told in 3-4 panels, but we fleshed it out a little bit more to try and develop the characters both through the art and the dialogue.

    2012-11-05-Dog-Speak-Dog-World.jpg

    HUMAN/NATURE Webcomic
    www.humannaturecomic.com
  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    Well, I guess I will chime in here. I am a huge offender in the "strip too long" category, but I have been working on it. I still think it works sometimes, often when the comic is more about tone or not really a joke but a short story. That said, I not think the long format is working for you here. If you distill this down it works better because the longer the build up to a joke like this, the more likely you are to see it coming. Strips like GunShow and Nedroid can pull off the long format because of the style of humor, I don't think yours has that same vibe (not an insult, just definitely not the same flavor of humor). Also, as an art critique, longer comics that have the same perspective for each panel are visually boring. The Stapler comic is better in this respect because it has a bit of visual differences in the panels.

    Don't worry about having longer strips to illustrate the personality of every single character in the strip, people will get the idea over time. I know you like the idea of the longer form strips, but really think about the best way to present your idea as a reader, not as an artist or writer.

    Hope to see more!

    sig2-1.jpg
  • Human/Nature WebcomicHuman/Nature Webcomic Human/Nature Webcomic NarniaRegistered User regular
    edited February 2013
    Thanks for the feedback, everyone! Here's another strip we finished not too long ago. This one's a bit more traditional in that's it's *slightly* shorter and to the point. Would love to hear your thoughts on it.

    2013-02-04-A-Taste-For-Justice.jpg

    Human/Nature Webcomic on
    HUMAN/NATURE Webcomic
    www.humannaturecomic.com
  • bebarcebebarce Registered User regular
    I'd recommend cropping out the address of your site from the actual picture before posting to these forums, else someone might ding you for trying to simply garner traffic rather than garner criticism on your art.

    The watchers are watching.

  • brokecrackerbrokecracker Registered User regular
    I'm still unsure on if we are dealing with the artist of the strip or not. The above strip still seems overly long for the joke at hand. The art is becoming hard to "read." If you are going to do straight black and white you are going to have to work on the line variance to discern foreground, middleground and background.

    sig2-1.jpg
    ninjai
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