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Gift / dropping hints advice

spacekungfumanspacekungfuman Poor and minority-filledRegistered User, __BANNED USERS regular
My fifth anniversary is approaching, and I already got my wife her gift (a gold bracelet) but she has started asking me about things I could want. I normally don't like saying what I would like because that makes gifts less fun IMO, but she has been on bed rest (in connection with a complicated pregnancy) so I do want to make it easier for her, especially since she has t been able to get out to stores to think of ideas. The problem is I really can't think of anything I need. For my birthday this year the bought me a whole new work wardrobe and then surprised me at dinner with some really nice casual clothing/a jacket. Last anniversary she bought me two designer wallets and let me pick which I wanted which was fun. So I am looking for advice on two things here:

1. Suggestions for things I might want and

2. Suggestions on how to subtly drop hints to make it easier for her to choose things (or get ideas) without outright saying "I really would like an x"

Thanks for any suggestions.

Posts

  • MentalExerciseMentalExercise Indefenestrable Registered User regular
    Given who's asking, clearly the answer is matching forearm tattoos.

    Someone can close the thread, I've solved it.

    "More fish for Kunta!"

    --LeVar Burton
  • SkyGheNeSkyGheNe Registered User regular
    Hints are kind of tough, just because there's always the chance that the other person doesn't pick up on it.

    I'm personally fan of vague lists. That way you're not specifying what you want (it's a surprise) but still something that would make you happy.

    Like, usually I have "video game paraphenalia or events" to my list. Friends in the past have gotten me tickets to the video game orchestra, gaming posters for my bare walls (which was thoughtful), a portal 2 cookie jar (cause I like to bake).

    It's worked out for me in the past.

    Or you could be really specific in your list. But I would leave it open for your wife to get event based things too vs. possessions - that could always be fun.

  • RollsavagerRollsavager Registered User regular
    If your wife is on bed rest and you really can't think of anything you want, then maybe it's best if you make it clear that there's no pressure to get a gift. If I were in your position I would try to focus on planning something for the two of you to do that will feel special and bring you close to each other.

    That said, if not being able to buy a gift is going to make your wife REALLY upset, ask her for something she can easily order online from her bed. Accessories are good for this (ties, cuff links, pocket squares, watches or watch bands, etc). Maybe some new drinkware or a nice bottle of something you enjoy, or other things for the house.

    Really though, why do you feel like you have to drop hints rather than speaking frankly about what you want (or don't)?

  • spacekungfumanspacekungfuman Poor and minority-filled Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    If your wife is on bed rest and you really can't think of anything you want, then maybe it's best if you make it clear that there's no pressure to get a gift. If I were in your position I would try to focus on planning something for the two of you to do that will feel special and bring you close to each other.

    That said, if not being able to buy a gift is going to make your wife REALLY upset, ask her for something she can easily order online from her bed. Accessories are good for this (ties, cuff links, pocket squares, watches or watch bands, etc). Maybe some new drinkware or a nice bottle of something you enjoy, or other things for the house.

    Really though, why do you feel like you have to drop hints rather than speaking frankly about what you want (or don't)?

    I told her I don't need anything, but its important to her. With a baby on the way, planning something would be tough (thankfully, she is off bed rest now, but might need to go back on, so plans are hard). She had originally wanted to book us a cruise (which would have been awesome) but that will need to wait a while.

    I want to drop hints because neither of us likes a gift to be something the other person just said was the thing they wanted. If I can do it well, and for multiple things, she will have ideas but make the choice herself , instead of a choice from what almost amounts to a shopping list.

  • CreaganCreagan Registered User regular
    Maybe instead of dropping hints for a specific item, just give her a list of things you really enjoy and let her get creative? I used to do this for my parents until I got an apartment and actually started needing specific things, like silverware.

  • MentalExerciseMentalExercise Indefenestrable Registered User regular
    Alright, if you're not going to take my obviously superior suggestion, I'll go with something else.

    Consumables always make excellent gifts, especially since you aren't in particular need of anything specific right now.

    Consumables are always nice. Home bar supplies are a great one. Flavored bitters, authentic Maraschino cherries, exotic liqueurs, limited run liquor, half a case of excellent champagne for occasions, lots of other things.

    Then there's mail order cheesecake, Chicago style pizza, truly professional chocolate truffles, a decent sized real truffle (if you cool), real gelato, pistachio nutbutter, interesting hot sauces, gift boxes with a selection if cheeses salami and mustard, lots of other things.

    It doesn't have to be expensive, just fun and interesting.

    Something appropriate and decorative for your office, sports memorabilia, an old legal dictionary or other law book, or a framed legal document signed by a significant historical person or on a specific topic.

    "More fish for Kunta!"

    --LeVar Burton
  • ToxTox I kill threads he/himRegistered User regular
    Creagan wrote: »
    Maybe instead of dropping hints for a specific item, just give her a list of things you really enjoy and let her get creative?

    This.

    I use amazon wishlists to give ideas for the types of things I want. Only in certain situations are they specific suggestions/ideas, generally I will list the newest book by an author I'd like to read (and mention in the comment whether or not I have any of their others, and if I'd like that specific book, or anything by them, etc), or a musician I like (same thing), or that sort of thing.

    I also second the idea of telling her to just focus on getting better and not worry about a gift right now (this will relieve her of the fear of thinking you don't want anything, and free you up to not worry about what, if anything, she gets you).

    Personally I have no problems saying, "I would love (very specific item) for (holiday)." but I also like let people give me what they want. It's a small line to dance, but yeah.

    Twitter! | Dilige, et quod vis fac
  • MortiousMortious The Nightmare Begins Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Obviously the best thing would be to leave a bunch of Games Workshop catalogues lying around.

    Move to New Zealand
    It’s not a very important country most of the time
    http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    An anniversary should be easier because of the traditional gift progression.

    So the next time your wife asks, just say, "I want you to give me wood."

    ...

    Or, you could do what I do. I hate the idea of people giving me presents, but don't want to shut them down completely, so I tell them about something in my life which could do with a product to make it go smoother. Then, I get given handy gadgets which I get to use all the time.

    I get to think of people in my life every time I:

    Write notes at work (electronic notepad)
    Use my phone (phone case)
    Listen to music (iPod, iPod case)
    Wear clothes (various ties and cufflinks)
    Buy something (wallet)
    Require an integer to be randomly generated (dice)

    Stuff for my desk or gaming sessions is good for me because it means that I can have stuff around which reminds me of my girlfriend all the time.

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • spacekungfumanspacekungfuman Poor and minority-filled Registered User, __BANNED USERS regular
    I'm a bit ahead on the traditional progression.

    Yeah, I love getting gifts I use every day. Most of my jackets, work clothes, ties, etc are all gifts from my wife.

  • RderdallRderdall Registered User regular
    One of the all time favorite gifts that my wife has gotten me, was a real men's shaving kit. Not a Gillette Mach 9x Turbo or whatever they're at now, but a real, old school safety razor. To be specific, she got me this. Also, she got me a boar bristle brush, pre-shave cream, shaving soap, aftershave and an anti fog shower mirror. Oh, and a 10 pack of Shark Super Stainless blades.

    I used to HATE shaving. Like, I'd go a week and a half without doing it and I'd only shave because my beard would start to itch.

    Now, I shave at least every other day while I'm in the shower, and it has quickly become one of my favorite things to do. The whole thing cost her about $120 with shipping, which is a completely reasonable price for a 5th anniversary gift.

    Wet shaving costs more than standard shaving, in terms of initial equipment cost, but it pays off in the long run. Blades literally cost pennies each, and the shaving creams and the like last forever. Plus, once you've practiced for a bit, you'll get the most comfortable shaves of your life.

    Hope this helps!

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