Infertility

Grain

This is incredibly personal, but I'm posting out here because I'd like to see if anyone else has gone through this and how they handled it. My wife and I have been trying to get pregnant for many years now with no luck so we just started IVF and had our first transfer. It didn't work. It's been an incredibly frustrating experience, particularly hard on my wife. I'm doing what I can to support and help her, but I wanted to get some opinions on what other folks who've been through this have done. We're going to try again next month and we're hoping for the best, but it's hard when you keep getting your gut kicked in every time it doesn't work.

djmitchella

You could try asking in the SE++ kid thread; a couple of people there have mentioned this sort of issue in the last few pages, so there's definitely experience there.

bsjezz

if you're up to the transfer, that's already heaps of progress. having just been through IVF (my partner's 18 weeks pregnant now) i've heard a few sad stories, but most of them centred around egg collection and production.

without knowing the details of your particular situation, all i can say is stick in there - the luck will come your way soon enough. IVF is a trying process, and the costs can rub salt in the wounds of any failures, but the science behind it is incredible and it has its magical moments too.

in terms of specific advice i do know my partner reckons day surgery / local anaesthetic for collection and transfers is exponentially easier to recover from, so if your wife has being going under for the procedures perhaps find out if your clinic offers that.

good luck! baby time is closer than it seems

El Skid

As someone that went through 10 years of infertility horror, I can sympathize with you. We went through everything from multiple miscarriages, health scares, failed procedures (we couldn't do IVF but did something similar-ish called IUI)...

At the end of our particular journey we had light at the end of our tunnel- we now have a 3 year old daughter who is basically perfect in every way. She's made everything we went through- the heartache, the monetary cost, the time and effort- all worthwhile.

For advice, I'd say this: Don't feel like you're alone or that what you are doing is in vain (even if all evidence so far supports this conclusion). And don't lose sight of why you're putting yourselves through this... You wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't important to you. So get through it however you can, and I sincerely hope that you can find a happy end to your journey.

Sharp10r

I feel for you and your struggle. As an adopting parent- my wife and I have taken a different path. But I want to bring it up in the hopes that it may resonate with you and your wife. It doesn't need to be seen as "giving up" or anything like that- rather it can be a great legacy. Do you sacrifice something in not going through the pregnancy process? For some, sure- but isn't parenting always a sacrifice of some type? Anyhow- I throw it out there in case it ends up being right for you and your wife. Feel free to PM me if you want to learn more.

Edgie

Sorry to hear about your trouble. My mom went through 10 years of tests and treatments. Then one day, bam, pregnant with me. Then three months later, pregnant with my sister.. and a couple years later, my younger brother. Odd how that works, eh?

Anyway, my older brother and his wife have also had trouble getting pregnant. After a few years of trying, they ended up adopting a baby boy. My nephew is three now and damn if he isn't the cutest and most loved little dude in the world.

I'm not sure of your viewpoint on adopting or if you've looked into it or not, but it should definitely be something for you and your spouse to discuss. Adopting a baby tends to be a rather long process. I'm not sure if it works the same across all adoption agencies, but for this one they basically worked up a profile which gets looked over by those looking to give up their baby for adoption. I think it took roughly a year to a year and a half.

In the meantime, you get to keep trying to get pregnant yourselves at least.

But basically there are always options so try not to fret. Continue being as supportive as possible, which it sounds like you're doing. Maybe just think of this as building up the patience required to raise a child.

Grain

Thanks y'all. Appreciate it. We've talked about adoption and if this doesn't work then that's what we will do. It's good to hear from others who have been through this sort of stuff. I'll keep ya posted on the future.

mts

Another iui parent here. Sometimes things just don't take, we luckily got it on the first shot and our doctor seemed shocked. Just keep your head up

Bloodycow

My wife had cysts on both of her ovaries and one of her tubes was 100% blocked. The other was partially blocked. To top all that off her ovulating never lined up with her period and was very sporadic. We were told by ever doctor in the US (military doctors that is) that she would not be able to conceive a child naturally.

Ended up getting stationed in the Netherlands and we went to a doctor on the border in Germany. He literally told my wife and I to let him perform a surgery, the name of it slips my mind, and she would be pregnant in 6 months.

Seven months later she was pregnant with my son. This was after 8 years of trying and putting tons of stress on our lives, because it wasn't happening.

He is now 18 months and we just found out that we are expecting our second child.

Hang in there. Try to take the stress out of the situation if you can, it will help!

Good luck to you and your spouse!

psyck0

Was it perhaps an ovarian drilling procedure?

Giggles_Funsworth

Little ovary rigs floating on fallopian tubes manned by tiny little men. German science is amazing.

Grain

The one good thing about getting a negative is then she can drink Wine a plenty last Friday.

GenlyAi

Like many in here, my wife and I had trouble conceiving. For a variety of reasons (some biological, some emotional) we did not try as hard as some in here to have a biological child. Instead, we are now considering adoption.

This had at least one huge advantage: once we decided that a biological child was off the table, a tremendous amount of anxiety, stress, and guilt also went away, especially for my wife.

Just something to consider. Right now, you are torturing yourselves, and most likely it will all work out in the end, but it is possible to get closure on this chapter right now if you need to, so remember that's an option.

Grain

Hey all...I made this post early last year out of fear and sadness. Y'all helped me with words of encouragement and I am so grateful. Just wanted to let everyone know that my wife and I are due in Dec through an IVF transfer.

bowen

Congrats @Grain

darkmayo

Grain wrote: »

Hey all...I made this post early last year out of fear and sadness. Y'all helped me with words of encouragement and I am so grateful. Just wanted to let everyone know that my wife and I are due in Dec through an IVF transfer.

congrats man, we are starting our second round of IVF very soon ourselves.

MrGrimoire

Congratulations to both of you!

Infidel

Best necropost.

CelestialBadger

Damn I love it when people follow up