The Book of [Job Thread]

Didgeridoo

We need a new job thread for my amusement!!

Talk about your boss, your job hunt, or how you made the mistake of making your resume 'searchable' on Monster.com and are now inundated with shady offers for job interviews.

Vent about horrible deadlines, or how awesome your company's lunchroom is (ours has tator tots)

Get a job and get a beautiful red panda pic from @joe user! THE JOB THREAD!!

iamthepieman

The best part about my job is that I work from home.

The worst part about my job is:

that I work from home

Brolo

iamthepieman wrote: »

The best part about my job is that I work from home.

The worst part about my job is:

that I work from home

I got dressed at around 2:00pm, ordered a pan pizza for breakfast-through-dinner, and then played maybe six hours of videogames

working from home is killing me

Yukira

I'd probably be more inclined to do phone based tech support from home.

Oats

Yukira wrote: »

I'd probably be more inclined to do phone based tech support from home.

A former roommate of mine did this.

I do not think he ever left the apartment.

Artreus

My last day at work is monday.

Hooray for leaving job I've hated for years now

Elbasunu

my wife is a week past due date and i've been checked out for about that time. So much critical shit came my way this week and I was like "You guys know I could be gone any SECOND, right?"

It's so hard to think about anything other than this. Can't these contract mailings wait until i'm a dad?

Nocren

Elbasunu wrote: »

my wife is a week past due date and i've been checked out for about that time. So much critical shit came my way this week and I was like "You guys know I could be gone any SECOND, right?"

It's so hard to think about anything other than this. Can't these contract mailings wait until i'm a dad?

That kinda reminds me of a story my dad told me. He was at a concert back in the 60s/70s (forget which band) and the opening act played, then the intermission, then the house lights dimmed... And nothing.

For about an hour.

Finally the band runs out on stage and the singer apologizes profusely and explains that his wife had just gotta out of labor and he was now a father.

Anyway, now to wait for the company to call me back for either my 3rd interview or a notification of employment.

Barcardi

So this week got strange, i got sent on a "emergency" trip to go look at a building and placate a client.

Turns out the building was fine, some kids broke in during construction and spray-painted the pace and the client freaked out like that has never happened before, just power wash the concrete that would be visible after the actual walls go up. So, and the client wined and dined me at ... KFC. But hey, free trip to southern oregon...

While im here, is there anything to do in ashland?

Quid

Three day weekend?

Three day weekend.

Beasteh

3 day weekend after tomorrow for me

anyway my job is total ass

we're a shitty shop that sells shitty cheap clothing/equipment and has shitty cheap customers

shoplifting is rife and we have zero security

zero hours contract so i could get a text message letting me know that all my shifts have been cancelled and that's it

Marathon

No three day weekend for me. I leave sunday to spend a week helping train some new chemists and technicians at a new plant we're starting up.

I never go crazy with it, but there's something I deeply enjoy about living off my corporate card for a week.

Invisible

Oh hoho a 2nd alarm fire is just how I wanted my day to end. Granted it's much worse for the people actually there.

Darth Waiter

Marathon wrote: »

No three day weekend for me. I leave sunday to spend a week helping train some new chemists and technicians at a new plant we're starting up.

I never go crazy with it, but there's something I deeply enjoy about living off my corporate card for a week.

Corporate cards are tricky; you can buy food at an Applebee's but you can't pay a stripper's rent.

And I'm all like ...

Do you want me to network or not?

Kadith

So I promoted my first DC yesterday before the three day weekend. Gotta replace one of the DCs currently running on 2003.

If I'm lucky that process will have somehow taken down the whole network and I actually have something to do next week...

CptKemzik

Beasteh wrote: »

3 day weekend after tomorrow for me

anyway my job is total ass

we're a shitty shop that sells shitty cheap clothing/equipment and has shitty cheap customers

shoplifting is rife and we have zero security

zero hours contract so i could get a text message letting me know that all my shifts have been cancelled and that's it

Reading these threads over the years, I swear you are a magnet for the crappiest, skeeviest, jobs in England, the fuck is the deal with Cameron/the Tories saying the economy is getting better over there?

Wait I forgot, they just meant it's getting better for financiers...

Oats

Saturday shift, and I'm the only one who could make it in.

Pants become optional at this point, right?

Marathon

Darth Waiter wrote: »

Marathon wrote: »

No three day weekend for me. I leave sunday to spend a week helping train some new chemists and technicians at a new plant we're starting up.

I never go crazy with it, but there's something I deeply enjoy about living off my corporate card for a week.

Corporate cards are tricky; you can buy food at an Applebee's but you can't pay a stripper's rent.

And I'm all like ...

Do you want me to network or not?

it's such a pain trying to charge a massage and happy ending in increments of $24, because anything over 25 needs a receipt on an expense report.

JacksWastedLife

If you're paying more than $24 then you're paying too much.

Darth Waiter

Marathon wrote: »

Darth Waiter wrote: »

Marathon wrote: »

No three day weekend for me. I leave sunday to spend a week helping train some new chemists and technicians at a new plant we're starting up.

I never go crazy with it, but there's something I deeply enjoy about living off my corporate card for a week.

Corporate cards are tricky; you can buy food at an Applebee's but you can't pay a stripper's rent.

And I'm all like ...

Do you want me to network or not?

it's such a pain trying to charge a massage and happy ending in increments of $24, because anything over 25 needs a receipt on an expense report.

Yeah, every time you hit the ATM in the massage parlor/strip club, it charges you a ton extra.

The trick is to find a gas station near your location that only hits you up for $1.50 for every transaction; that way, you can score twenties to your heart's delight.

After that, it's only a matter of finding the right group of hoodlums to beat you up just a little bit in exchange for your company card and the PIN code.

Librarian's ghost

My three day weekend is Monday-Wednesday this week. Get to hang out with my almost 2 year old nephew all three days. We are going to play so much Batman.

Guys. He says Batman in a little tiny gravelly baby voice it is the cutest thing. Like baby Christian Bale.

Dead Legend

First week back, 13-15 hour days each day.

I'm not thrilled about it.

Tofystedeth

So @beavotron 's post from the last thread got me checking to see what books there were out there for Scaleform.
This is a promising first line of the actual official content description of one I found

High Quality Content by WIKIPEDIA articles!

Librarian's ghost

I just spent like ten minutes helping a meeting room full of furries get their stupid laptop to work with some speaker so they could watch some furry anime. Just people in Furry costumes all over.

Only in a public library.

Cormac

I had to work today and between a few inches of unexpected snow and accidents/traffic on my drive in to work I was rather late. I let my coworker know but she did not have a key to open the building. Unfortunately she and a few customers had to wait until I got there. Everyone was understanding because it's goddamn winter in Upstate NY but one lady was just irate. No matter how much I apologized and explained to her that I'm sorry I can't control the weather, other drivers, and other people's accidents I needed to compensate her in some way because she drove a half an hour to get there. You just can't make some people happy.

Kipling

Receipts for anything above $25? Monsters. The only time I ever had to submit a food receipt was when it was a $140 bill and my manager forgot his card.

The US government once audited my travel. The result was the government deducted $0.27 from my paycheck because I was at a hotel above the per diem. I almost made them pay the room tax on the hotel costs above the per diem.

Marathon

Eh, receipts for anything over 25 isn't that bad because they never hassle me about anything. Unless I go out to dinner with some co-workers and I pick up the tab for everyone. And then all I have to do is explain that I bought dinner for a few people and then it's fine.

Brovid Hasselsmof

One more day and then I get a day off. Yaaay.

Can't believe I was off for two weeks not long ago. Feels like I have been in every day for the entire history of the universe.

MadEddy

My last job required receipts for everything despite the fact that we were covered by the under-$25 rule, too. It was a pain.

Shorty

so I went and took an exam for the proofreading position I applied for this morning

part of it was spelling

I had to choose between "coolly" and "cooly"

and I picked the first one

then made a note that read "I feel I should point out that both of these are correct, though it seems more likely you're looking for the adverb rather than an out-of-favor 19th century term for a Chinese porter."

Brovid Hasselsmof

Awesomed that but also feel the need to say neeeeeeeerd.

Athenor

I bow to my linguistic superior.

webguy20

Barcardi wrote: »

So this week got strange, i got sent on a "emergency" trip to go look at a building and placate a client.

Turns out the building was fine, some kids broke in during construction and spray-painted the pace and the client freaked out like that has never happened before, just power wash the concrete that would be visible after the actual walls go up. So, and the client wined and dined me at ... KFC. But hey, free trip to southern oregon...

While im here, is there anything to do in ashland?

Not get your kids vaccinated?

Lost Salient

But I thought that was spelled 'coolie'!

Phyphor

Alternate spelling

Anon the Felon

I worked today.

That happened.

Then I opened a giant beer.

Shorty

Lost Salient wrote: »

But I thought that was spelled 'coolie'!

both are accepted

Lost Salient

Now I learned something today, too!

Librarian's ghost

Shorty wrote: »

Lost Salient wrote: »

But I thought that was spelled 'coolie'!

both are accepted

Well really neither are "accepted."

Duke 2.0

My bosses dropped by my street location to check up, make sure I wasn't just shivering and not trying to sell tickets. One of them, known for being energetic and eccentric, showed me how he does everything in his power to get people to stop and listen to the pitch. It's a whole lot of social pressure that works pretty well to grab attention. Not a single sale after that though. Felt like shit because I knew it was due to my own lack of people skills. Especially when I had one last group of prospects stopped and hearing the pitch, letting them know the product before a beggar grabbed their attention, made some crass jokes and completely grabbed their attention to do his own spiel for a $5 donation.

My boss noticed my frustration at the end of the day and asked what was bugging me. He revealed to me that he was actually quite the introvert, that all the pushing and fast talk and joking around was an act he puts on at work. Gave me some pointers on how to become an actor, hoping this could be an angle to help me out.

Being a salesman is... kinda ridiculous

Bé Chuille

Just approached my manager and offered to work voluntarily a few days week to round me up to 4 or 5 days. I really want to get up to speed and make a good impression here, and by the sound of my managers response I've made the good impression. Maybe I'll hold onto this job after all.