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Hard times
But you can call me
Grand Divina AngelaRegistered User regular
Grand Divina AngelaRegistered User regular
My family, which is to say me my wife and our two children, will very probably be homeless at the beginning of next month. The family member we were living with has decided they don't want us around anymore. The emergency housing people haven't had anything open up yet. We call every morning to let them know we still need help, but right now that's all we can do. Soon we'll be alternating between sleeping in shelters (first come first serve cots, that sort of thing) and the living room of my wife's coworker on nights we can't get into the shelter. That's assuming the coworker's generous offer is genuine, which is difficult for me to believe after the number of times we've been fucked over by "friends". If that doesn't work out we'll be sleeping in the car. There's a possibility we'll have to send our children away to live with their grandparents.
So let's talk about hard times in our lives. We can commiserate about financial difficulty, being betrayed by loved ones, or even just a crappy day at work. Let's remember that we're not alone in hardship.
So let's talk about hard times in our lives. We can commiserate about financial difficulty, being betrayed by loved ones, or even just a crappy day at work. Let's remember that we're not alone in hardship.
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Steam
Steam
It sucks, but a couple months of nose to the grindstone can go a long way when you are giving 1k% towards setup. Get in contact with your municipal aid office and look into what supported housing programs are in your area. Most cities of size will have a goodly number of rent-assisted communities if your income is within the qualification range (which it sounds like is the case). The federal listing for the US can be found here, and it's a pretty solid website to track down local area assistance. Even if it doesn't have something near you, if you both don't have stable income moving where you can get assistance may be a good idea (http://portal.hud.gov/hudportal/HUD?src=/topics/rental_assistance )
Just remember: no matter how much it sucks short term, long term planning is the best for your kids.
While I appreciate your suggestions regarding housing, we are already looking into things. I didn't really make this thread to seek advice. I wanted to talk to people with similar experiences, and to make a place to talk about the various hardships of living in general.
Steam
My wife spent a considerable part of her childhood in the situation you are describing and we've talked about it affected her and her sisters extensively over the years. I'm just passing along what she's shared with me from the perspective of the children. Growing up bouncing between shelters apparently sucks, as does becoming primary caregiver to your siblings when both parents are unavailable due to employment issues.
Best of luck with whatever you got planned, though. Reach out to whatever governmental opportunities are about, speaking from experience as a state employee there is always a ton more assistance than is publicized and you are typically rewarded in knocking on the doors of local offices and asking for any references or leads the folks there can provide.
I lived in my truck and on the couches of friends for a couple months probably about 10 years ago. I wasn't welcome into my house and my dad and I couldn't really get along so I just went out on my own.
I don't know what the deal is behind your family no helping out to the degree that it's the street for their grand kids, but in my limited experience I can say that that's really hard and I'm sorry it's like that. Hopefully they will come to realize their actions and do what they can to help out.
because life is pretty fucking shitty for me, right now
not on the verge of homelessness shitty
but it could easily go there
in the meantime, I'm half-considering quitting school for the quarter because I am in no psychological condition to deal with it all
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
1-800-273-8255 Call this number right now.
I appreciate it but I'll echo this cat's not seeking advice stance.
Please don't do this. You're too good a person for that to happen to you.
I ruminated on this and the brain. Usually a great deal of people ask for my help with regard to preventing suicide or whatever, and so I can't staunchly say you're wrong for feeling that way. That said, sometimes life literally goes in this direction, empirical data or not and you have to watch it sorta fall apart
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I also worry that enough suicide-laced posts floating around lately will force the hand of the mods to start severely limiting our brain problems discussions/threads, since that shit is serious as all hell and they can't have that popping up constantly.
Whenever I go through hard times it really is difficult to feel like anyone cares. And each disaster I feel like I shed a good deal of friends. I lose a bit of myself each time. And it's harder and harder to pick myself up and motivate myself to keep going. But I do it anyway because that's who I am.
I don't have advice for those going through hard times, but I will say I have empathy for you. The world is cruel at times with no reason. And I hope things will get better. If anyone ever needs to vent, just send me a message with full confidence that I won't pretend like I know what you're going through or try to solve the problem.
I look at it with the stance I do with most sickness, and I felt gross about being as explicit as I was so I edited it
When I was dealing with depression just recently, I felt that way a lot. I'd try to talk about where I was at with friends who had previously been the reason I'd pulled through past difficulties, and people would either tell me I was panicking/overreacting, or they'd seem to kind of throw distance in unless they had had similar experiences. I think a thing you have to accept in that kind of situation, as hard as it can be at the time, is this: some people just don't know how to deal with being a support. They have no understanding of what the feeling is like, are afraid of being relied upon so heavily and just try to back away as quickly as possible because they honestly are too scared or unnerved to see someone dealing with an internalized pain that they don't know how else to react. It is not a failing on your part; it's just that they're entirely out of their depth.
You're strong for trying to reach out to others for help. And it takes even more strength to see that you need help and accept that you both deserve and need to reach out for it. I like you a lot, CJ! It would be a less great forum without your presence. I sincerely hope you can work through this.
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The people on this forum have been a source of humor and comfort in my life during a time where I don't have very much of those things. You are a part of that. I'm certain everybody here agrees that you would be missed if you weren't a part of this community anymore.
Steam
It's my last, best weapon
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
" I did fine. You just like to look for something to get angry about"
No. Medication does exist for you. Something like Stage 4C Cancer does not have medication. Only odds on just how quickly you'll die from it.
"Oh get over it, it's not that big a deal. What I go through is much worse."
My mom takes huge offence when I mention my childhood sucked
Twitch (I stream most days of the week)
Twitter (mean leftist discourse)
I don't think this is really the sort of response that is needed at this time.
Steam
Yesterday I spent a good few hours crying and trying to figure out how I wanted to say goodbye to everyone. I called the hotline instead. Force of habit, I guess.
I don't know why my mind attacks me the way it does sometimes, but the most common trigger of my suicidal thoughts is my self-esteem. I feel too fat, too tall, too ugly, too mannish, etc, etc. I think about my debt and the money I still have to spend to finish my feminization and I just break down because I'm not going to be able to fucking do it on ten dollars and hour. I wish I could make a faustian bargain. Or any bargain really. Pay for my stuff and I'll spend the rest of my life paying it back (or forward) tenfold. I fantasize about wishes and finding money and other things on a regular basis. And then I look up and I'm in a homeless shelter being bullied and misgendered and reality just crashes the fuck down, right into my face.
I still really want to die. Oblivion is sounding pretty damn sweet right now. And to think that not a year ago I was afraid of death. Hahaha...
clinical severe depression and going off a cocktail of medications cold turkey almost indefinitely in combination with everything compounding it may as well be in the circles I inhabit. the phrase I bookend this is the least smug phrasing of "sorry, not sorry" I could muster
"I try to help you and you do nothing with it" to be fair, this one is usually from the affluent
This week at work they cut everyone's hours in half, I have just been hired in so I hope unemployment will make up the difference since I am technically full time. The two week pay period and a new direct deposit situation has me worried about rent and I have very little for food and gas until then if it doesn't.
Still I have to plan for the worst which means selling everything I can on craigslist and eating the nearly spoiled food first, just in case.
Hard times ahead.
The silver lining is that I have stopped smoking the devil's tobacco because it made me feel worse and not better and then the money problems have me stopped on alcohol. Both of these depressants being absent from my life should improve my outlook even if nothing else gets any better. All the sadness and stress has made me loss weight down to my 17 year old size. I suddenly have some cool vintage clothes to wear.
Steam