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Asking a girl out.
Ramen Noodle
whoa, god has a picture of me!Registered User regular
whoa, god has a picture of me!Registered User regular
I haven't done this in a long time.
Anyways, I like this girl. I'm pretty sure she likes me. I'm probably gonna ask her out tomorrow to get some dinner and maybe go see a movie or something. How should I go about doing it? My friend was talking about being subtle and just asking about the movie, but I've got other friends saying that I should ask about dinner too.
So, thoughts?
Anyways, I like this girl. I'm pretty sure she likes me. I'm probably gonna ask her out tomorrow to get some dinner and maybe go see a movie or something. How should I go about doing it? My friend was talking about being subtle and just asking about the movie, but I've got other friends saying that I should ask about dinner too.
So, thoughts?
Ramen Noodle on
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Because it's not what you say, it's how you say it. Girls dig confidence, so don't beat around the bush.
Bowling is way better.
If her daddy's rich, take her out to a meal
If her daddy's poor, just do as you feel...
:whistle:
-jogging (or walking) on a trail: great way to see if you click and can have a conversation
-ice skating: if you're good at it, you can teach her (teaching or being taught = good). if not, you can help each other
-cool museums: not sex museums though
-pet shops: this is great if you're good with animals.
-bookstores: depends on the girl, but there are a ton of things to talk about in bookstores, especially the travel section
-non-corporate coffee: in this case, something that is not starbucks. small coffee shops with character are great.
-picnic: if you go grocery shopping together beforehand, all the better
-farmer's market: it is that time for the year. or any other kind of open-air market would work.
-fairs: see above.
If you wanna be like every other guy out there, go for a movie/dinner date. If not... well, either pick from above or use your imagination.
She likes art? Take her somewhere artsy.
She likes nature? Arrange to go hiking with some friends (double dates are good first dates)
She likes games? Chuck.E.Cheeze's or whatever.
You meet somewhere public, it can last as long or be as short as the two of you end up wanting it to, and you spend the time talking rather than sitting watching a movie.
To the person who said bowling... I once suggested bowling on a first date and the girl wasn't really into the idea b/c she didn't think it would be fun as a two person activity. Who knows though.
In any case, any kind of activity is great. Dinner and a movie puts so much pressure on conversation. If you're a great conversationalist, then its fine I guess, but seeing as you're unsure of yourself in regards to even asking her out, you're probably better off with some kind of fun activity anyway. I'm also very competitive too, and if the girl is as competitive as I am, then the date becomes even more fun.
Finally, suggest something specific when you ask her out. Say something like.. hey would you like to do x and y with me this weekend.. rather than... hey would you possibly want to, i dunno, hang out sometime? Be direct and confident.
stuff like mini golf is great because there's always something to joke about (usually how brutal you are doing) and still ample time to socialize. bowling is a little too old school i don't know many girls who would go for that.
basically what folken said,
my attack plan is usually group hangs, excuses for solo hangs, then sly into something like a band or a movie at your place where you can joke around and still have an out for the odd dry spell in convo. they are also awesome because you can break out a beer or whatever and loosen up and who knows maybe make out haha
its been said before and i'll say it again though, humour and confidence are king
Movies as a date offers you an opportunity to find something in common right off the bat: the movie you saw. It gives you something to talk about. So, if you worry that might have a hard time sparking conversation, a movie can help in that, if you're finding yourself at a loss for words, you can bring up the movie.
And don't just say "man, great movie hunh?" bring up something specific like: wow, I didn't think <enter actor's name> could play a psycho/father/junkie so well! Get a conversation going, you know?
A few first dates I've been on have started with coffee and then went on to movies, though (spontaneously), so keep that in mind.
And don't listen to people who say "oooh, you have to be mysterious, end the date early to get her thinking about you". That's bull. Don't be clingy, but if you're having a good time, roll with it, don't look at the clock and go "oh shi- she's gonna think I'm a freak!"
This is the truth. Plus, it puts almost no pressure on the encounter. You don't need to do anything, or have to force conversation into an activity, but rather you can just talk.
Mind you, this is only true on a first date. After that, you will want to mix it up and have some fun, but the FIRST date is all about getting to know the person a little better, and finding out if you might like each other enough for some more dates.
I agree and disagree at the same time.
You don't need to cut a conversation short just so you can leave to be "mysterious" or some such bullshit. But try to end the date before any lulls form in the conversation. If you like her, you want to leave her with the best of memories fresh in her mind. You don't want the last thing she remembers about your date being 5-10 minutes of mostly silence with the occasional quick banter to keep the conversation alive.
It's mostly about feeling the situation out. You don't want to leave early and seem uninterested, but you don't want to drag it out to the point that it feels awkward.
Coffee is great. I normally get lunch, if its possible. Dinner, there's just more of a formal thing about it, and it's late in the day, so there's less change to chill out for a while afterwards if you feel inclined.
EDIT: and yeah, another vote against movies. Do lunch, and talk about movies. Later, you can talk about going to one.
Can't go wrong with miniature golf. Just don't forget to cheat. Women love it when you cheat
EDIT: that didn't come out right...
!!!!▓▓▓▓▓Gravy?▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!
!!!!!!▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!!!!
of doom
The truth of the matter is, it's not about "letting her know you're not measuring your worth as a human being by whether she says yes or not" but actually feeling that way.
Worst case scenario, she says no and life goes on as usual. Don't take that kind of shit to heart, because in the end, it doesn't matter at all. Just roll with the punches, and if she says yes, HAVE FUN!
Incidentally, I agree about the no movie thing as well. We missed the movie and just sat around and talked, which was nice. Also, I remember distinctly the one other time I worked up the courage to ask a girl out "to the movies"... and she asked me if it was cool if a friend of hers came with us. Don't play it safe, make it obvious it's a date.
Meeting for coffee is cliché, I recommend against it. Same with meeting at a noisy bar for drinks.
ramenXnoodles, do you have her cell number or email address? I suggest texting or emailing her about the movie and see if she is free, if so ask her to join you for a bite and the movie. Lemme guess... Grindhouse, right? lol
Some more advice. In my experience I found it's best to ask a girl out between Tuesday and Thursday. By Friday it's a good chance she may have plans, especially if she has a lot of friends. Don't even think about asking her out on a Monday, bad idea.
And besides, coffee is delicious.
Good luck.
Depends on the movie ;-) But hey, if coffee has made you lucky then more power to you. I know first hand for a first date there should be something more memorable & fun than a latte. However, having coffee or drinks after the movie is always a good idea.
The key point of the first date is that it should be squarely on the two, avoid any distractions. Save the bar/club and boring stuff for a later date.
I took my current girlfriend out to a Yeah Yeah Yeahs concert for our first date and got there early so we were in the 3rd row. It was pretty amazing. Its also never really awkward. Waiting for the show to start you can just talk about whatever, flip off the opening band, get into someone elses converstaion, make fun of the other people at the show (there was this guy that was dressed just like he was ziggy stardust or some shit, we were like daaaaammmmnnnnn). There is guaranteed to be some conversation. And when the show starts, thats all you need. Just don't be a twat and act "too cool." Get into it and have a good time.
After a good concert you're both feelin pretty damn good too.
If you're into the same music as her, the concert idea (while it can be pricey) is a good ass idea. And if she says no, just get one of your buddies to go with you, and you can rock out anyway.
There are several things to consider when you're thinking about what to do for a first date (not in order of importance):
1- Did you put some fucking thought into it and plan ahead? i.e. picnics are great for this. coffee is not.
2- Does the date allow for comfortable verbal interaction? i.e. non-loud, non-hectic environments
3- Does the date allow for comfortable physical interaction? i.e. activities in which you are naturally in physical contact with the other person.
4- Is there competition involved? Competition triggers attraction.
5- Is there sharing involved? Sharing the same dessert plate = sexy.
6- Is there laughing involved? Hopefully you can provide this yourself*.
And some others I can't remember.
You probably can't find an activity that encompasses all these, but it is OK to divide your date into several "phases" and have each phase cover one or more of them. Go play mini-golf (competition, maybe even physical contact if you're teaching her how to hold the bat
Set. Yourself. Apart.
Those things you listed are all great for the next couple of dates, or a first date with someone you kind of know.
Here is a good way to measure how a date is going. If you offer the girl a bite off your plate and she takes your fork into her mouth then that's a sign things are moving very well. It means she is ready to kiss you. If she refuses or takes the food off the fork and dumps it to the side of her plate then... thats a sign she is not interested at all. And if a date goes badly be sure to go Dutch.
As for dessert... If it's enjoyed slowly then good. Fast, then bad.
I was lucky. My current squeeze didn't know how to play pool. There's a pool hall near a rather cosmopolitan beachside suburb here. So I took her there, got to teach her the basics and had a good day.
Anyway, even if she already knows how to play pool... During the day pool halls generally aren't too busy, you can play with just two people, the lighting is often not too harsh... Good stuff.
http://newnations.bandcamp.com
Also: Quoted for truth. Make it clear you want it to be with her, not her and her buddies. If she's not comfortable with that for whatever reason then I guess it's a different matter...
First time we actually hung out was at the mall, which was cool because we just walked around for a few hours and talked, and then we went our separate ways.
Second time was at a dog track with her mom and grandparents, not a place I would generally go, but she intvited me, so of course I said yes. Then we went to Denny's afterwards at like midnight and had breakfast stuff.
So yeah, movies are cool, but I didn't even take her to a movie until like the 4th date or so.
Meeting for coffee is perfectly fine if the girl likes coffee. Particularly if you also like coffee and know a good coffee-shop nearby. Something not-a-chain with good product. If a girl doesn't like coffee, meeting for coffee is a silly idea in the first place. In closing, try to do something you'll both enjoy, whatever it ends up being is fine so long as you both enjoy it. And cliches aren't so bad when you do them well and put some of yourself into them.
hahaha, remember though, just because Starbucks severs an assload of people a day doesn't mean everyone likes coffee. I know I don't and the majority of my friends don't either. So there area few who don't like it.
Right but not everyone likes most modern movies either. I'm not going to go see some lame and retarded crap that isn't even fun just to be around a girl.
By success I mean the night at least ends in a good kiss or more ;-)
Well, I for one would take the movie over coffee. Except movies have already been kind of rules out.
Of course, Ramen never said how old he was, so there's no idea what the budget is or how appropriate some suggestions might be. Personally, I think a good universal rule is to date your best friend, meaning your prospective girlfriend should have enough in common with you that you two will be mutually interested in something other than the nasty perks that come with dating someone.
If she's your friend the date should be easy. Try doing something that you actually want to do, that you guys will have fun doing. Coffee houses are great for some people, but they can also be really dull and are much better places to end a date or just stop along the way to something more fun. For me, a good first date was getting some really awesome Japanese food, settling down at her apartment to watch Porco Rosso, and then playing Sonic and Tails. It never felt forced, and godamn was it fun.