On the subject of 'pay sites: are they worth it?' NOT WORTH IT. I'm not on Match but a popular regional pay site. It's the same people on the free sites. Literally, I found at least two women who were also on POF (and I wasn't searching). The only difference is that these people have money to burn so it acts kind of like a filter. You're getting rejected by wealthier women.
My subscription is expiring soon. I kind of got off it. If you get off the free sites for a while, that's one thing. Get off the pay sites and you're flushing money down the toilet. I got some dates out of it but not at a higher percent than on the free sites. The women weren't any classier either. I've met doctors and bankers from POF and students and shop assistants from the pay site so it works both ways. You just have to look.
Also, MUCH fewer people on the pay site. I'd message the ten people last online and I'd see some of the same people every day. Fortunately, this particular site tells you if you've messaged someone before.
Anyway, I got a 'like' from this site today. She's five years older than I prefer and borderline BBW. I wasn't going to bother. But...I don't know. Maybe she's awesome. I wouldn't mind being friends and going drinking with a lot of these internet women I've met but I don't think they're really up for that. Do you want to be friends with someone who finds you repellant after all?
Well the girl I've been dating is moving to California I can't do long distance so it looks like this will be the end of things. I'll really miss her. Probably take a break but I'm actually looking forward to getting into the more "short-term dating" side of things. I'm still young and while having a girlfriend is nice, there are a lot of fun people out there to experience life with and I realized I don't want to miss out on that!
I live in Cologne, Germany. OKC is populated more and more by now, but still probably nothing compared to the US. Tinder was just a guess. Cologne is one of the biggest German cities, so it might be not that bad, but I loathe the facebook connection, so I probably won't try it.
I'm in Australia, and there are loads of people on Tinder. Like a gazillion times more than OKC. They are my age though ~18-24, so not sure about the older people.
Steam ID: natinator Xbox Live: Natman PRIME LoL: A1 Sauce
Well the girl I've been dating is moving to California I can't do long distance so it looks like this will be the end of things. I'll really miss her. Probably take a break but I'm actually looking forward to getting into the more "short-term dating" side of things. I'm still young and while having a girlfriend is nice, there are a lot of fun people out there to experience life with and I realized I don't want to miss out on that!
...please don't tell me she's moving to socal. This is where people come to die. It's the new florida.
Well the girl I've been dating is moving to California I can't do long distance so it looks like this will be the end of things. I'll really miss her. Probably take a break but I'm actually looking forward to getting into the more "short-term dating" side of things. I'm still young and while having a girlfriend is nice, there are a lot of fun people out there to experience life with and I realized I don't want to miss out on that!
...please don't tell me she's moving to socal. This is where people come to die. It's the new florida.
She's up in northern california. Which is too bad since I have a friend in socal and would have been able to visit a couple times. But fortunately she won't be sucking it up with all you losers :P
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KupotheAvengerDestroyer of Cakeand other deserts.Registered Userregular
Well the girl I've been dating is moving to California I can't do long distance so it looks like this will be the end of things. I'll really miss her. Probably take a break but I'm actually looking forward to getting into the more "short-term dating" side of things. I'm still young and while having a girlfriend is nice, there are a lot of fun people out there to experience life with and I realized I don't want to miss out on that!
...please don't tell me she's moving to socal. This is where people come to die. It's the new florida.
She's up in northern california. Which is too bad since I have a friend in socal and would have been able to visit a couple times. But fortunately she won't be sucking it up with all you losers :P
Well the girl I've been dating is moving to California I can't do long distance so it looks like this will be the end of things. I'll really miss her. Probably take a break but I'm actually looking forward to getting into the more "short-term dating" side of things. I'm still young and while having a girlfriend is nice, there are a lot of fun people out there to experience life with and I realized I don't want to miss out on that!
...please don't tell me she's moving to socal. This is where people come to die. It's the new florida.
She's up in northern california. Which is too bad since I have a friend in socal and would have been able to visit a couple times. But fortunately she won't be sucking it up with all you losers :P
NorCal has no water left for newcomers, she won't last a week.
+1
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
Well the girl I've been dating is moving to California I can't do long distance so it looks like this will be the end of things. I'll really miss her. Probably take a break but I'm actually looking forward to getting into the more "short-term dating" side of things. I'm still young and while having a girlfriend is nice, there are a lot of fun people out there to experience life with and I realized I don't want to miss out on that!
...please don't tell me she's moving to socal. This is where people come to die. It's the new florida.
She's up in northern california. Which is too bad since I have a friend in socal and would have been able to visit a couple times. But fortunately she won't be sucking it up with all you losers :P
NorCal has no water left for newcomers, she won't last a week.
Glad I moved for literally greener pastures of Northern Carolina.
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ShivahnUnaware of her barrel shifter privilegeWestern coastal temptressRegistered User, Moderatormod
Aww and I thought you liked fire!
And earthquakes.
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
Shake and bake is totally my thing.
But I like working and getting paid more. Now I just need a grand or so to get a couch and queen sized bed and I wont be embarrassed to have company over.
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darklite_xI'm not an r-tard...Registered Userregular
God bless you guys for still believing in love, or whatever it is you believe in that keeps you going in the whole dating scene.
Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37 PSN:Rage_Kage_37 Battle.Net:darklite#2197
God bless you guys for still believing in love, or whatever it is you believe in that keeps you going in the whole dating scene.
What's wrong? Why got you to doubt the whole notion?
Just having one of them 'feels' nights. All my friends are too busy or for whatever reason unable to go out tonight. Only matches I get on Tinder are bots. Nobody responds on POF. Got banned from another forum I visit for 'multiple accounts' even though I don't have multiple accounts. Just not a good night.
Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37 PSN:Rage_Kage_37 Battle.Net:darklite#2197
God bless you guys for still believing in love, or whatever it is you believe in that keeps you going in the whole dating scene.
What's wrong? Why got you to doubt the whole notion?
Just having one of them 'feels' nights. All my friends are too busy or for whatever reason unable to go out tonight. Only matches I get on Tinder are bots. Nobody responds on POF. Got banned from another forum I visit for 'multiple accounts' even though I don't have multiple accounts. Just not a good night.
Just a temporary setback.
The hardest thing to believe is that tomorrow won't necessarily hold the same amount of negativity as today.
Started up my POF profile again in hopes of finding that special lady friend. Having the same issue I was having over at OKC, getting them to the profile with my messages but no responses. Oh mighty iDaters! I beseech thee, help a brother out!
Well the girl I've been dating is moving to California I can't do long distance so it looks like this will be the end of things. I'll really miss her. Probably take a break but I'm actually looking forward to getting into the more "short-term dating" side of things. I'm still young and while having a girlfriend is nice, there are a lot of fun people out there to experience life with and I realized I don't want to miss out on that!
...please don't tell me she's moving to socal. This is where people come to die. It's the new florida.
I was born and raised in SD and can't wait to move to Seattle but this is still nonsense. People all over the world want to live here and it's basically a paradise land. The people are by and large complete morons but it's still a nice place to live.
Started up my POF profile again in hopes of finding that special lady friend. Having the same issue I was having over at OKC, getting them to the profile with my messages but no responses. Oh mighty iDaters! I beseech thee, help a brother out!
What you're experiencing is internet dating for the 99% of men who look like something other than a young Brad Pitt. The secret is to message everyone you can stand the sight of. Those who feel the same about you will reply.
I just got back from an internet date myself with a sexy lady all the way from Shanghai. Actually not that sexy but about the same sexiness level as myself. So that's ideal.
Almost ten years younger than me (27 and 36). Her profile said that she's looking for guys 30 to 45. Seems quite a high upper range but she thinks I'm 33 so not bad.
English ability...she had a confused look on her face much of the date but she seemed to understand. We were having a conversation after all. Her spoken English was heavily accented. Not the worst English of the women I've dated but definitely up there.
So we're drinking our hot beverages and she asks what I do in my spare time. I think for a second. Can't say 'masturbate'. Then she suggests going to the theatre. Yes. That one. It's on my profile. She says that she likes the theatre too. We talk about favourite productions and so forth.
I ask about cinema and again she says she likes it and we have the same taste in films.
It seems like she's fishing for an invite for a second date. I didn't want to put her on the spot like 30 minutes into the date but the signs seemed strong so I asked if she'd like to go to the cinema or see a play some time. She said she'd like to see a play.
So...good that a second date was agreed to but bad that theatre tickets are so expensive. I've been burned on this before. Get expensive theatre tickets, see the show, and then the woman disappears. Not that I'm being used to see the legitimate theatre but things just don't work out, they lose interest, whatever, and I'm out big money. The play she wants to see looks really stupid too.
Anyway, I have more money than sense and I would love to stop using internet dating so I'll set this up and hopefully something comes of it.
I think your self-summary looks pretty good.
Looks like you have last year's info on your What I'm Doing Now, might need updating. Unless you're still planning on going to Germany in 2014? Also, saying Meetup keeps you busy and you're always socially busy makes it sound like you don't have time to date. Maybe find a way to change it so that it shows you have a life, but you'd like to share it with someone?
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
So, for the younger readers and lurkers of the thread, the following needs to be stated:
The thought process described in hofman's posts is very toxic and immature.
You don't weigh your decision to have a next date by how much it costs you monetarily (unless you really can't afford it, then do be up-front and honest with your potential partner about your financial situation).
What you're trying to assess: how are the two of you communicating together? Are you both excited about each other's company? Is this someone who you're so deeply amazed with that you're overlooking all of their faults? Trying to distill the answer to these (admittedly non-comprehensive) questions into monetary value is failing at a very fundamental level.
+5
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
Well, there is ONE situation where you weigh up cost input vs. expected benefits output, but that's not so much dating as it is prostitution...
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MattitudePaste Pot PeteKicking The BucketRegistered Userregular
I went on a Tinder date!
She was nice, I think we'll hang out again. But I don't think there's much attraction there. We're into most of the same stuff though so maybe new friends? I do't know.
It's kinda of unfair of me though: I'm really into someone right now but they're not into me in the same way and/or throing out hella mixed signals so... maybe I shouldn't be going on any dates until I get that straight in my head?
I got this Tumblr and I don't know how to use it.
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
You don't weigh your decision to have a next date by how much it costs you monetarily (unless you really can't afford it, then do be up-front and honest with your potential partner about your financial situation).
What you're trying to assess: how are the two of you communicating together? Are you both excited about each other's company? Is this someone who you're so deeply amazed with that you're overlooking all of their faults? Trying to distill the answer to these (admittedly non-comprehensive) questions into monetary value is failing at a very fundamental level.
Honestly though, I would avoid going on expensive dates that early on. It's just as easy to assess those qualities (probably even easier) by going on a walk through the park or something. If you're dating a lot of different people as is often the case with internet dating those expensive dates can really add up. And while this certainly isn't the majority of cases, there are girls who just want to go on a fancy date even if they don't really care about you.
Also while trying to distill how much you like someone into monetary value certainly isn't the best method, it can be helpful. How excited I am about someone will generally be reflected in how much I'm willing to spend on a second date. If you're questioning the cost of a date, it's likely you're really not sure about that person yet. I don't think it's unreasonable to wait and see how you feel about someone before spending lots of money on them.
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y2jake215certified Flat Birther theoristthe Last Good Boy onlineRegistered Userregular
So I started using tinder. What's an average amount of matches people get in a day or so? I don't know if I should change pictures or words or whatnot
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
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darklite_xI'm not an r-tard...Registered Userregular
So I started using tinder. What's an average amount of matches people get in a day or so? I don't know if I should change pictures or words or whatnot
Are you a dude? Are you about an 8/10? If the answers are yes and no respectively, you're gonna want to change that question to "what's an average amount of matches people get in a month or so?"
Steam ID: darklite_x Xbox Gamertag: Darklite 37 PSN:Rage_Kage_37 Battle.Net:darklite#2197
+4
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y2jake215certified Flat Birther theoristthe Last Good Boy onlineRegistered Userregular
So I started using tinder. What's an average amount of matches people get in a day or so? I don't know if I should change pictures or words or whatnot
Are you a dude? Are you about an 8/10? If the answers are yes and no respectively, you're gonna want to change that question to "what's an average amount of matches people get in a month or so?"
yes and i dunno. i started probably around this time last night and I've gotten 10 matches or so since then, minus spammers, and a friend that i saw on there, i've probably said "like" to at least several hundred girls though
she said she gets like 200 matches a day so i can tell my odds are going to be slim
y2jake215 on
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
You don't weigh your decision to have a next date by how much it costs you monetarily (unless you really can't afford it, then do be up-front and honest with your potential partner about your financial situation).
What you're trying to assess: how are the two of you communicating together? Are you both excited about each other's company? Is this someone who you're so deeply amazed with that you're overlooking all of their faults? Trying to distill the answer to these (admittedly non-comprehensive) questions into monetary value is failing at a very fundamental level.
Honestly though, I would avoid going on expensive dates that early on. It's just as easy to assess those qualities (probably even easier) by going on a walk through the park or something. If you're dating a lot of different people as is often the case with internet dating those expensive dates can really add up. And while this certainly isn't the majority of cases, there are girls who just want to go on a fancy date even if they don't really care about you.
Also while trying to distill how much you like someone into monetary value certainly isn't the best method, it can be helpful. How excited I am about someone will generally be reflected in how much I'm willing to spend on a second date. If you're questioning the cost of a date, it's likely you're really not sure about that person yet. I don't think it's unreasonable to wait and see how you feel about someone before spending lots of money on them.
I forgot to mention in my original post (and @chrishallett83 was quick to point out my error in their unique way ) that the reason why this thought process is toxic and dangerous is because it is a wholesale objectification of the other person. Additionally, it is a really easy thought pattern to get into since as humans we like to simplify our decision processes.
As a thought experiment I've pulled out the person-hood pronoun and noun references from your statement, it's not a 100% perfect analogue, but it makes the point a bit sharper,
Also while trying to distill how much you like a brand-new car into monetary value certainly isn't the best method, it can be helpful. How excited I am about a particular model of car will generally be reflected in how much I'm willing to spend on it. If you're questioning the cost of a brand-new car, it's likely you're really not sure about that car yet. I don't think it's unreasonable to wait and see how you feel about a particular car before spending lots of money on it.
Do you see how damaging that attitude can be when you're trying to find someone to connect with on a deeper level?
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thatassemblyguyJanitor of Technical Debt.Registered Userregular
I will say that avoiding unaffordable activities should be avoided as a general rule, not tied to dating. Incurring debt to do something 'fun' typically isn't a strong fiscal plan for anyone.
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
edited September 2014
Oh yeah, no-one is saying it's necessary to take any and all dates to a 6 course dinner at a private restaurant followed by a night at the opera on your own megayacht.
It's not a good idea to go into a date expecting anything in return for your financial input though. Lobster = / = blowjob.
I'm of the general opinion that date activities should be things you would like to do anyway (even if it's something you normally wouldn't do under other circumstances) - the purpose of the date is to have fun, and even if you don't hit it off at least the activity should "pay for itself" (ugh... I do enough of that in my professional life, I don't like those concepts creeping into my personal life).
Going out for dinner and spending most of it in awkward silence is bad enough. Investing large sums of money in the hopes of impressing your date, or withholding money that could make the date more enjoyable until you evaluate if they're "worth it" just seems counterproductive (and creepy). I'd far rather go rock climbing, golfing, rollerblading, attend a book reading, visit a venue grand opening, whatever that doesn't take huge sums of money and we both (hopefully) find interesting with opportunities to find out more about each other.
Yeah, definitely keep it to something you'd enjoy doing anyway (but maybe is better with somebody else along).
I did however make the mistake of dropping too much money on a date...it was something I wanted to do anyway (a musical) and I was fine with the price even if things didn't go anywhere (couple hundred bucks) But the date was so unbelievably bad that it still managed to ruin it. Whoops. I think part of the problem is that she felt like there were expectations (not sexual just generally) due to the cost. When in reality I just wanted to see the show and didn't give a shit. Ah well. Also she may have been cray cray.
In other news I've spent this whole long weekend away from my new special ladyfriend, and been missing the hell out of her. She's felt the same. We did do FaceTime last night, had never used it before, but it was nice. I honestly didn't feel like this whole internet thing was worth a shit, and now things are looking pretty good!
I still swipe on tinder occasionally just to make myself feel sexier. Seems I can generally get a couple likes a night while sticking to girls I find legitimately attractive. Never considered how many might be bots.
You don't weigh your decision to have a next date by how much it costs you monetarily (unless you really can't afford it, then do be up-front and honest with your potential partner about your financial situation).
What you're trying to assess: how are the two of you communicating together? Are you both excited about each other's company? Is this someone who you're so deeply amazed with that you're overlooking all of their faults? Trying to distill the answer to these (admittedly non-comprehensive) questions into monetary value is failing at a very fundamental level.
Honestly though, I would avoid going on expensive dates that early on. It's just as easy to assess those qualities (probably even easier) by going on a walk through the park or something. If you're dating a lot of different people as is often the case with internet dating those expensive dates can really add up. And while this certainly isn't the majority of cases, there are girls who just want to go on a fancy date even if they don't really care about you.
Also while trying to distill how much you like someone into monetary value certainly isn't the best method, it can be helpful. How excited I am about someone will generally be reflected in how much I'm willing to spend on a second date. If you're questioning the cost of a date, it's likely you're really not sure about that person yet. I don't think it's unreasonable to wait and see how you feel about someone before spending lots of money on them.
I forgot to mention in my original post (and @chrishallett83 was quick to point out my error in their unique way ) that the reason why this thought process is toxic and dangerous is because it is a wholesale objectification of the other person. Additionally, it is a really easy thought pattern to get into since as humans we like to simplify our decision processes.
As a thought experiment I've pulled out the person-hood pronoun and noun references from your statement, it's not a 100% perfect analogue, but it makes the point a bit sharper,
Also while trying to distill how much you like a brand-new car into monetary value certainly isn't the best method, it can be helpful. How excited I am about a particular model of car will generally be reflected in how much I'm willing to spend on it. If you're questioning the cost of a brand-new car, it's likely you're really not sure about that car yet. I don't think it's unreasonable to wait and see how you feel about a particular car before spending lots of money on it.
Do you see how damaging that attitude can be when you're trying to find someone to connect with on a deeper level?
I'm not sure exactly what your point is? That's how humans make decisions. You weigh the pros and cons, and assign some sort of value to each. How much of a deeper connection you have is certainly a big factor of that and a huge pro that can outweigh a lot of cons. But it's not the only factor.
How do you go about your decision process on whether or not to have a second date?
Posts
My subscription is expiring soon. I kind of got off it. If you get off the free sites for a while, that's one thing. Get off the pay sites and you're flushing money down the toilet. I got some dates out of it but not at a higher percent than on the free sites. The women weren't any classier either. I've met doctors and bankers from POF and students and shop assistants from the pay site so it works both ways. You just have to look.
Also, MUCH fewer people on the pay site. I'd message the ten people last online and I'd see some of the same people every day. Fortunately, this particular site tells you if you've messaged someone before.
Anyway, I got a 'like' from this site today. She's five years older than I prefer and borderline BBW. I wasn't going to bother. But...I don't know. Maybe she's awesome. I wouldn't mind being friends and going drinking with a lot of these internet women I've met but I don't think they're really up for that. Do you want to be friends with someone who finds you repellant after all?
I'm in Australia, and there are loads of people on Tinder. Like a gazillion times more than OKC. They are my age though ~18-24, so not sure about the older people.
...please don't tell me she's moving to socal. This is where people come to die. It's the new florida.
Battlenet: Judgement#1243
psn: KupoZero
She's up in northern california. Which is too bad since I have a friend in socal and would have been able to visit a couple times. But fortunately she won't be sucking it up with all you losers :P
Too real.
Battlenet: Judgement#1243
psn: KupoZero
NorCal has no water left for newcomers, she won't last a week.
Glad I moved for literally greener pastures of Northern Carolina.
And earthquakes.
But I like working and getting paid more. Now I just need a grand or so to get a couch and queen sized bed and I wont be embarrassed to have company over.
What's wrong? Why got you to doubt the whole notion?
Just having one of them 'feels' nights. All my friends are too busy or for whatever reason unable to go out tonight. Only matches I get on Tinder are bots. Nobody responds on POF. Got banned from another forum I visit for 'multiple accounts' even though I don't have multiple accounts. Just not a good night.
Just a temporary setback.
The hardest thing to believe is that tomorrow won't necessarily hold the same amount of negativity as today.
I was born and raised in SD and can't wait to move to Seattle but this is still nonsense. People all over the world want to live here and it's basically a paradise land. The people are by and large complete morons but it's still a nice place to live.
What you're experiencing is internet dating for the 99% of men who look like something other than a young Brad Pitt. The secret is to message everyone you can stand the sight of. Those who feel the same about you will reply.
I just got back from an internet date myself with a sexy lady all the way from Shanghai. Actually not that sexy but about the same sexiness level as myself. So that's ideal.
Almost ten years younger than me (27 and 36). Her profile said that she's looking for guys 30 to 45. Seems quite a high upper range but she thinks I'm 33 so not bad.
English ability...she had a confused look on her face much of the date but she seemed to understand. We were having a conversation after all. Her spoken English was heavily accented. Not the worst English of the women I've dated but definitely up there.
So we're drinking our hot beverages and she asks what I do in my spare time. I think for a second. Can't say 'masturbate'. Then she suggests going to the theatre. Yes. That one. It's on my profile. She says that she likes the theatre too. We talk about favourite productions and so forth.
I ask about cinema and again she says she likes it and we have the same taste in films.
It seems like she's fishing for an invite for a second date. I didn't want to put her on the spot like 30 minutes into the date but the signs seemed strong so I asked if she'd like to go to the cinema or see a play some time. She said she'd like to see a play.
So...good that a second date was agreed to but bad that theatre tickets are so expensive. I've been burned on this before. Get expensive theatre tickets, see the show, and then the woman disappears. Not that I'm being used to see the legitimate theatre but things just don't work out, they lose interest, whatever, and I'm out big money. The play she wants to see looks really stupid too.
Anyway, I have more money than sense and I would love to stop using internet dating so I'll set this up and hopefully something comes of it.
This is my current profile for reference.
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/brownchiclets
Looks like you have last year's info on your What I'm Doing Now, might need updating. Unless you're still planning on going to Germany in 2014? Also, saying Meetup keeps you busy and you're always socially busy makes it sound like you don't have time to date. Maybe find a way to change it so that it shows you have a life, but you'd like to share it with someone?
The thought process described in hofman's posts is very toxic and immature.
You don't weigh your decision to have a next date by how much it costs you monetarily (unless you really can't afford it, then do be up-front and honest with your potential partner about your financial situation).
What you're trying to assess: how are the two of you communicating together? Are you both excited about each other's company? Is this someone who you're so deeply amazed with that you're overlooking all of their faults? Trying to distill the answer to these (admittedly non-comprehensive) questions into monetary value is failing at a very fundamental level.
She was nice, I think we'll hang out again. But I don't think there's much attraction there. We're into most of the same stuff though so maybe new friends? I do't know.
It's kinda of unfair of me though: I'm really into someone right now but they're not into me in the same way and/or throing out hella mixed signals so... maybe I shouldn't be going on any dates until I get that straight in my head?
Decide on the next line by the rhyme when I choose it.
Also I put songs on YouTube
The musings of this lonely rube.
I made a thread once. It didn't end well for me.
Honestly though, I would avoid going on expensive dates that early on. It's just as easy to assess those qualities (probably even easier) by going on a walk through the park or something. If you're dating a lot of different people as is often the case with internet dating those expensive dates can really add up. And while this certainly isn't the majority of cases, there are girls who just want to go on a fancy date even if they don't really care about you.
Also while trying to distill how much you like someone into monetary value certainly isn't the best method, it can be helpful. How excited I am about someone will generally be reflected in how much I'm willing to spend on a second date. If you're questioning the cost of a date, it's likely you're really not sure about that person yet. I don't think it's unreasonable to wait and see how you feel about someone before spending lots of money on them.
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
Are you a dude? Are you about an 8/10? If the answers are yes and no respectively, you're gonna want to change that question to "what's an average amount of matches people get in a month or so?"
yes and i dunno. i started probably around this time last night and I've gotten 10 matches or so since then, minus spammers, and a friend that i saw on there, i've probably said "like" to at least several hundred girls though
she said she gets like 200 matches a day so i can tell my odds are going to be slim
maybe i'm streaming terrible dj right now if i am its here
I forgot to mention in my original post (and @chrishallett83 was quick to point out my error in their unique way
As a thought experiment I've pulled out the person-hood pronoun and noun references from your statement, it's not a 100% perfect analogue, but it makes the point a bit sharper,
Do you see how damaging that attitude can be when you're trying to find someone to connect with on a deeper level?
It's not a good idea to go into a date expecting anything in return for your financial input though. Lobster = / = blowjob.
Going out for dinner and spending most of it in awkward silence is bad enough. Investing large sums of money in the hopes of impressing your date, or withholding money that could make the date more enjoyable until you evaluate if they're "worth it" just seems counterproductive (and creepy). I'd far rather go rock climbing, golfing, rollerblading, attend a book reading, visit a venue grand opening, whatever that doesn't take huge sums of money and we both (hopefully) find interesting with opportunities to find out more about each other.
I did however make the mistake of dropping too much money on a date...it was something I wanted to do anyway (a musical) and I was fine with the price even if things didn't go anywhere (couple hundred bucks) But the date was so unbelievably bad that it still managed to ruin it. Whoops. I think part of the problem is that she felt like there were expectations (not sexual just generally) due to the cost. When in reality I just wanted to see the show and didn't give a shit. Ah well. Also she may have been cray cray.
In other news I've spent this whole long weekend away from my new special ladyfriend, and been missing the hell out of her. She's felt the same. We did do FaceTime last night, had never used it before, but it was nice. I honestly didn't feel like this whole internet thing was worth a shit, and now things are looking pretty good!
I still swipe on tinder occasionally just to make myself feel sexier. Seems I can generally get a couple likes a night while sticking to girls I find legitimately attractive. Never considered how many might be bots.
I'm not sure exactly what your point is? That's how humans make decisions. You weigh the pros and cons, and assign some sort of value to each. How much of a deeper connection you have is certainly a big factor of that and a huge pro that can outweigh a lot of cons. But it's not the only factor.
How do you go about your decision process on whether or not to have a second date?