Agreed, "Using Sexy TheRoadVirus as a blank card" would be a shoo-in this round.
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of the way white people is. (Gizzy)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of getting drive-by shot. (Cog)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of reading the comments. (LostNinja) (*)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of the true meaning of Christmas. (See317)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of being rich. (Chamberlain)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of getting shot out of a cannon. (TheRoadVirus)
On the one hand, LostNinja should've been more careful about showing the Internet to George Washington. On the other hand, we now know a lot more about the Revolutionary War-era porn.
Round 33: LostNinja is judging
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _______.
Please PM your answers while LostNinja tries out this cancer cure they found on the internet.
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of embryonic stem cells. (Cog)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale. (See317)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of William Shatner. (Cythraul)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of the Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle. (TheRoadVirus) (*)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of AXE body spray. (Gizzy)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of demonic possession. (Chamberlain)
@LostNinja, what will cure everything that's wrong with me?
The Abercrombie & Fitch Lifestyle has to have some curative powers. How else can we explain how a company founded on terrible clothes and wash board abs still exists.
Just because I disappear for a whole night when the navy is in town...
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it the predictions of horrifying things to come that my conjoined twin whispers in her sleep? (See317) (*)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it sudden penis loss? (Chamberlain)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it giant sperm from outer space? (LostNinja)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it a sex goblin with a carnival penis? (Cythraul)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it the Devil himself? (Cog)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it the milk man? (Gizzy)
I spent my whole life working toward eating together like a god damn family for once, only to have it ruined by a tiny horse. (Gizzy) (*)
I spent my whole life working toward charging up all the way, only to have it ruined by dying. (LostNinja)
I spent my whole life working toward figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin, only to have it ruined by not being able to figure out how a goddamn corkscrew condom even goes on. (TheRoadVirus)
I spent my whole life working toward a dance move that's just sex, only to have it ruined by pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time. (Cog)
I spent my whole life working toward a 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio, only to have it ruined by hot cheese. (Cythraul)
I spent my whole life working toward 40 acres and a mule, only to have it ruined by the decade of legal inquests following a single hour of Grand Theft Auto. (Chamberlain)
All good answers. A lot of them seem to tell the entire story in itself.
But only "I spent my whole life working toward eating together like a god damn family for once, only to have it ruined by a tiny horse." made me really want to know more. What did the tiny horse do to prevent your family dinners?
All good answers. A lot of them seem to tell the entire story in itself.
But only "I spent my whole life working toward eating together like a god damn family for once, only to have it ruined by a tiny horse." made me really want to know more. What did the tiny horse do to prevent your family dinners?
Part of me is amazed that the desert hasn't reclaimed Dubai yet.
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy boring vaginal sex by the poolside. (See317)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy Moses gargling Jesus's balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes by the poolside. (TheRoadVirus)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy serfdom by the poolside. (Chamberlain)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy classist undertones by the poolside. (Cythraul)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him) by the poolside. (LostNinja)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy sperm whales by the poolside. (Cog) (*)
It's especially difficult if it involves a freak accident involving a falling sperm whale.
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with the taxidermied remains of his dog in a sexually suggestive pose. (Cythraul)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with a Christmas stocking full of coleslaw. (LostNinja)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with leaving an awkward voicemail. (See317)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with piece of shit Christmas cards with no money in them. (Chamberlain) (*)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with mad hacky sack skills. (TheRoadVirus)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun. (Gizzy)
@Cog, why are you hiding from your friend's family?
Man in the Mists on
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
We all know the only thing you're thinking when you open a greeting card is "There better be money in this bitch." Platitudes don't assuage my grief. Dolla dolla bills do.
Christmas cards with no money in them? What a piece of shit. The biggest faux pas. A faux poo, if you will.
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on a caress of the inner thigh, and then there's some stuff about developing secondary sex characteristics, and then it ends with being paralyzed from the neck down. (LostNinja)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on a woman scorned, and then there's some stuff about doing the right stuff to her nipples, and then it ends with fetal alcohol syndrome. (TheRoadVirus)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on Bill Nye the Science Guy, and then there's some stuff about a cooler full of organs, and then it ends with mutually-assured destruction. (Cog) (*)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on Oompa-Loompas, and then there's some stuff about an all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III, and then it ends with sweet, sweet vengeance. (See317)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby, and then there's some stuff about backwards knees, and then it ends with trying to feel something, anything. (Gizzy)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on small-town cops with M4 assault rifles, and then there's some stuff about hipsters, and then it ends with a micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties. (Cythraul)
@Chamberlain, what's a good movie to bring a date to?
Posts
(Note: would probably vote for it this round)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of the way white people is. (Gizzy)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of getting drive-by shot. (Cog)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of reading the comments. (LostNinja) (*)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of the true meaning of Christmas. (See317)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of being rich. (Chamberlain)
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of getting shot out of a cannon. (TheRoadVirus)
@Cythraul, how was George disturbingly prescient?
Confusion will be my epitaph
Round 33: LostNinja is judging
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of _______.
Please PM your answers while LostNinja tries out this cancer cure they found on the internet.
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of embryonic stem cells. (Cog)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale. (See317)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of William Shatner. (Cythraul)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of the Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle. (TheRoadVirus) (*)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of AXE body spray. (Gizzy)
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of demonic possession. (Chamberlain)
@LostNinja, what will cure everything that's wrong with me?
Round 34: TheRoadVirus is judging
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it ________?
Please PM your answers while TheRoadVirus gets new paper bag headwear.
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it the predictions of horrifying things to come that my conjoined twin whispers in her sleep? (See317) (*)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it sudden penis loss? (Chamberlain)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it giant sperm from outer space? (LostNinja)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it a sex goblin with a carnival penis? (Cythraul)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it the Devil himself? (Cog)
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it the milk man? (Gizzy)
@TheRoadVirus, what is the source of the bed death?
That's terrifying
Round 35: See317 is judging
I spent my whole life working toward _______, only to have it ruined by _______.
Please PM your answers while See317 jizzes away an apocalypse.
I spent my whole life working toward eating together like a god damn family for once, only to have it ruined by a tiny horse. (Gizzy) (*)
I spent my whole life working toward charging up all the way, only to have it ruined by dying. (LostNinja)
I spent my whole life working toward figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin, only to have it ruined by not being able to figure out how a goddamn corkscrew condom even goes on. (TheRoadVirus)
I spent my whole life working toward a dance move that's just sex, only to have it ruined by pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time. (Cog)
I spent my whole life working toward a 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio, only to have it ruined by hot cheese. (Cythraul)
I spent my whole life working toward 40 acres and a mule, only to have it ruined by the decade of legal inquests following a single hour of Grand Theft Auto. (Chamberlain)
@See317, how did everything come to ruin?
But only "I spent my whole life working toward eating together like a god damn family for once, only to have it ruined by a tiny horse." made me really want to know more. What did the tiny horse do to prevent your family dinners?
Not enough horse to eat?
Nintendo ID: Pastalonius
Smite\LoL:Gremlidin \ WoW & Overwatch & Hots: Gremlidin#1734
3ds: 3282-2248-0453
But it's a tiny horse. How could a tiny horse eat all your food for a family dinner?
But it's a tiny horse. How could you imagine that a tiny horse would be sufficient to feed a family?
It's trying to grow up to become a big strong horse obviously.
Also I thought I had a real winner, but man. Hot cheese.
And some chips please.
Thanks.
They were all good answers (well, good in a CaH way), but it's a lot harder to beat a tiny horse then it is to beat a dead one.
Round 36: Gizzy is judging
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy _______ by the poolside.
Please PM your answers while Gizzy goes to propose a midget horse racetrack.
Confusion will be my epitaph
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy boring vaginal sex by the poolside. (See317)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy Moses gargling Jesus's balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes by the poolside. (TheRoadVirus)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy serfdom by the poolside. (Chamberlain)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy classist undertones by the poolside. (Cythraul)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him) by the poolside. (LostNinja)
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, embrace the nightlife, or simply enjoy sperm whales by the poolside. (Cog) (*)
@Gizzy, what's got you ready to take a red-eye?
Island Name: Felinefine
Round 37: Cog is judging
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with _______.
Please PM your answers while Cog attempts whale calls.
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with the taxidermied remains of his dog in a sexually suggestive pose. (Cythraul)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with a Christmas stocking full of coleslaw. (LostNinja)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with leaving an awkward voicemail. (See317)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with piece of shit Christmas cards with no money in them. (Chamberlain) (*)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with mad hacky sack skills. (TheRoadVirus)
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun. (Gizzy)
@Cog, why are you hiding from your friend's family?
Christmas cards with no money in them? What a piece of shit. The biggest faux pas. A faux poo, if you will.
Round 38: Chamberlain is judging
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on _______, and then there's some stuff about _______, and then it ends with _______.
Please PM your answers after we visit the concession stand for some extra cards.
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on a caress of the inner thigh, and then there's some stuff about developing secondary sex characteristics, and then it ends with being paralyzed from the neck down. (LostNinja)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on a woman scorned, and then there's some stuff about doing the right stuff to her nipples, and then it ends with fetal alcohol syndrome. (TheRoadVirus)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on Bill Nye the Science Guy, and then there's some stuff about a cooler full of organs, and then it ends with mutually-assured destruction. (Cog) (*)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on Oompa-Loompas, and then there's some stuff about an all-midget production of Shakespeare's Richard III, and then it ends with sweet, sweet vengeance. (See317)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby, and then there's some stuff about backwards knees, and then it ends with trying to feel something, anything. (Gizzy)
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on small-town cops with M4 assault rifles, and then there's some stuff about hipsters, and then it ends with a micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties. (Cythraul)
@Chamberlain, what's a good movie to bring a date to?
Bill Nye or Oompa-Loompas
This is so hard.
Bill Nye ending us all with a cooler full of pirated kidneys would be the way I would like to see the world end.
Not feeling too good about it now.
Round 39: Cog is judging
The class field trip was completely ruined by _______.
Please PM your answers while Cog anticipates telling their classmates that the kidney pie was made from real human kidneys.