Aw, son of a [Cards Against Humanity] (On break for a while, but reserves welcome)

Man in the Mists

Unfortunately for Iongantas, when Ms. Dee Ten grabbed and twisted she made him pay half a point to let go.

Round 7: Iongantas is judging

And the Academy Award for _______ goes to _______.

Please PM yous answers while Iongantas checks to see if Oscar had nipples added.

Man in the Mists

@Jdarksun and @Dr. Flamingo appear to be playing fetch with some Golden Globes.

Man in the Mists

Quite a few players got good pairings in their new cards.

And the Academy Award for child beauty pageants goes to Jared Fogle, Subway Spokesman. (Elvenshae)
And the Academy Award for unfathomable stupidity goes to Republicans. (Jdarksun)
And the Academy Award for Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich! goes to being John Malkovich. (Corbius)
And the Academy Award for lactation goes to tiny nipples. (Kaplar)
And the Academy Award for western standards of beauty goes to Natalie Portman. (Anialos) (*)
And the Academy Award for fear itself goes to Jeff Goldblum. (Dr. Flamingo)

@Iongantas, who deserves to take home a statue?

Iongantas

I have to admit that Natalie Portman does have some Western Standards of Beauty.

Honorable mention to the stupidity of Republicans.

Man in the Mists

Anialos, did it look like Natalie was almost bored when she went up to get her award?

Round 8: Anialos is judging

Having the worst day EVER. #_______

Please PM your answers while Anialos goes home empty-handed.

Man in the Mists

Pics or it didn't happen.

Having the worst day EVER. #Pretending to be happy (Dr. Flamingo)
Having the worst day EVER. #A constant need for validation (Kaplar) (*)
Having the worst day EVER. #Destroying the evidence (Jdakrsun)
Having the worst day EVER. #Necrophilia (Elvenshae)
Having the worst day EVER. #Deez nuts (Corbius)
Having the worst day EVER. #Clearing a bloody path through Walmart with a scimitar (Iongantas)

@Anialos, what's about to receive a barrage of retweets?

Cog

I love that black card. Every answer is a wonderful story waiting to be told.

Anialos

My life is clearly defined by #A constant need for validation.

Man in the Mists

And Kaplar just received their next hit.

Round 9: Kaplar is judging

Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "_______." Can you explain?

Please PM your answers while Kaplar tries to justify the "Kaplar is Awesome" dancers.

Man in the Mists

Hopefully this will be easier to explain than Candi ... with an i.

Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "A whole lotta woman." Can you explain? (Corbius)
Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "Sexy pillow fights." Can you explain? (Iongantas)
Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "Kaplar is Awesome dancers." Can you explain? (Anialos)
Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "Full HD." Can you explain? (Dr. Flamingo)
Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "A balanced breakfast." Can you explain? (Elvenshae) (*)
Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "The chronic." Can you explain? (Jdarksun)

@Kaplar, what will take the least amount of bribery to get approved?

Kaplar

A balanced breakfast.

Some oatmeal, sausage, orange juice, and a bottle of water shipped from California.

Man in the Mists

Wouldn't be so bad if Elvenshae wasn't in Antarctica at the time.

Round 10: Elvenshae is judging

What's my secret power?

Please PM your answers while Elvenshae breathes a sigh of relief that Jim glossed over the charges for clothing repair.

Man in the Mists

I don't think most of these could be sold as comics for kids.

What's my secret power? Horrifying laser hair removal accidents (Jdarksun)
What's my secret power? Evolving a labyrinthine vagina (Kaplar)
What's my secret power? George Clooney's musk (Dr. Flamingo)
What's my secret power? Free samples (Corbius)
What's my secret power? The Holy Bible (Anialos)
What's my secret power? Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry (Iongantas) (*)

@Elvenshae, what do you want as an action figure?

Elvenshae

... Damn, some of those are really good, but the best origin story is obviously the one about the frat bro fucking a beehive on a drunken dare - except, TWEEEEST, the beehive was magical or from an alien world or some bullshit like that. His power? Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry

Man in the Mists

Who knew that one drunken summer night would lead to Iongantas going on True Slut Adventures?

(Warning: do not google that phrase at work)

Round 11: Iongantas is judging

Today on Buzzfeed: 10 Pictures of _______ That Look Like _______!

Please PM your answers while Iongantas surprises bystanders with "Do these look like wasps to you?"

Man in the Mists

I derped on giving the 12 hour warning last night, so I'll give @Jdarksun another 12 hours.

Man in the Mists

Hmmm... :?

Today on Buzzfeed: 10 Pictures of Shapes and Colors That Look Like A Homoerotic Volleyball Montage! (Dr. Flamingo)
Today on Buzzfeed: 10 Pictures of Texas That Look Like Whatever Kwanzaa Is Supposed To Be About! (Corbius)
Today on Buzzfeed: 10 Pictures of Words Words Words That Look Like Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body! (Kaplar)
Today on Buzzfeed: 10 Pictures of Horse Meat That Look Like Christopher Walken! (Jdarksun) (*)
Today on Buzzfeed: 10 Pictures of Lunchables That Look Like Flightless Birds! (Elvenshae)
Today on Buzzfeed: 10 Pictures of A Fully-Dressed Female Videogame Character That Look Like Explosions! (Anialos)

@Iongantas, what will you bookmark for later?

Iongantas

You know. Volleyball. Was. A tempting. Option. But Horse Meat!

Man in the Mists

That means either Christopher Walken badly needs some moisturizer, or Jdarksun is getting a bit too creative at the horse ranch.

Round 12: Jdarksun is judging

Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into _______, and I love to have a good time.

Please PM your answers while Jdarksun prepares a flank steak to look like Kendra.

Man in the Mists

Wow, one thing after another today.

Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into sucking the President's dick, and I love to have a good time. (Elvenshae)
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into amputees, and I love to have a good time. (Kaplar)
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into Daddy's belt, and I love to have a good time. (Anialos)
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into full frontal nudity, and I love to have a good time. (Corbius) (*)
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into my boyfriend's stupid penis, and I love to have a good time. (Dr. Flamingo)
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into the transience of all things, and I love to have a good time. (Iongantas)

@Jdarksun, what would've been the most effective way for her to land a VJ spot?

jdarksun

Man, those are all really good.

Gonna have to go with...

"Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into full frontal nudity, and I love to have a good time."

...for that MTV Spring Break experience.

Man in the Mists

And immediately after that statement, Corbius led a herd of streakers right in front of the camera.

Round 13: Corbius is judging

She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for _______.

Please PM your answers while Corbius tries to convince her to join in streaking through the presidential debates.

Man in the Mists

Guess @Jdarksun couldn't stay up all night after all...

Man in the Mists

PAX weekend, card processing may get sporadic.

She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere. (Kaplar)
She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for Log. (Iongantas)
She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum. (Dr. Flamingo)
She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for an icepick lobotomy. (Jdarksun)
She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for 50,000 volts straight to the nipples. (Elvenshae)
She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for a reason not to commit suicide. (Anialos) (*)

@Corbius, what got you greeting the dawn?

Corbius

I lay awake all night crying in the darkness all night long for a reason not to commit suicide.

Man in the Mists

Hmm, most people aren't that down until after PAX. I guess Anialos is just ahead of the curve.

Round 14: Anialos is judging

What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?

Please PM your answers while Anialos and their grandma take tea with Dr. Kevorkian.

Dr. Flamingo

Awwww but mine rhymed... Kinda.

Man in the Mists

Forgot to give @Elvenshae their warning last night. But then again I won't have time to process until tonight anyways.

Elvenshae

... thought I hit send on that last night. Sorry!

Man in the Mists

So the CAH people are doing this thing at PAX where they're selling popsicles with card packs inside. Thanks to mom and my boyfriend, I have all three packs which are food/drink related. They will be shuffled into the next game.

What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Some kind of bird man (Corbius)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion (Elvenshae) (*)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Praying the gay away (Jdarksun)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? A lifetime of sadness (Dr. Flamingo)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Sexting (Kaplar)
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming? Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends" (Iongantas)

@Anialos, why is grandma so easy to entertain?

Anialos

My grams loves those fabulous warlocks!

Man in the Mists

She was so happy when one of them said that blue hair is in. I hope Elvenshae was able to explain to her that it only applied to anime.

Round 15: Elvenshae is judging

For my next trick, I shall pull _______ out of _______.

Please PM your answers while Elvenshae tries to deal with the Creeping Thong Curse that another of the warlocks had placed.

Man in the Mists

I'm not sure I want to know how these things got in there in the first place...

For my next trick, I shall pull a salty surprise out of the Harlem Globetrotters. (Dr. Flamingo)
For my next trick, I shall pull the Klobb out of a beached whale. (Jdarksun)
For my next trick, I shall pull a kiss on the lips out of copping a feel. (Iongantas)
For my next trick, I shall pull a passionate Latino lover out of the diminishing purity of the white race. (Corbius) (*)
For my next trick, I shall pull important news about Taylor Swift out of a monkey smoking a cigar. (Anialos)
For my next trick, I shall pull insufficient serotonin out of the World of Warcraft. (Kaplar)

@Elvenshae, why are you breaking out the shoulder-length gloves?

Elvenshae

For my next trick, I shall pull a passionate Latino lover out of the diminishing purity of the white race.

Fantastic.

Man in the Mists

Keep an eye on that lover once it's out, I think Corbius wants to keep them.

Round 16: Corbius is judging

Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon and this is America's Got _______.

Please PM your answers while Corbius gets the test results back from their night of passion.

Man in the Mists

Looks like @Iongantas decided to record the show for later.

Man in the Mists

I do not envy Corbius this round...

Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon and this is America's Got Suicidal Thoughts. (Jdarksun)
Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon and this is America's Got Goblins. (Kaplar)
Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon and this is America's Got Police Brutality. (Anialos) (*)
Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon and this is America's Got Centaurs. (Iongantas)
Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon and this is America's Got Teenage Pregnancy. (Dr. Flamingo)
Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon and this is America's Got Catapults. (Elvenshae)

@Corbius, who has earned the right to move on to a Very Special Round?

Elvenshae

Finger snaps, everyone.

Dr. Flamingo

Goddamn, I thought I was sooooo clever... :P

Corbius

I would watch Nick Cannon hosting a clip show of police body cam footage called America's Got Police Brutality.