Quotable Quotes From Famous and Possibly Dead People

rockmonkey

I bring you the latest incarnation of the quote thread!
Post your favorite quotes whether they be witty, memorable, or profound.

Q: Why make this thread?
A: I recently found an OLD (we're talking 8+ years old) .txt containing tons of quotes on my PC that has made the trip over from two previous PCs it's so old.

I'll start us off!

"I think it would be a good idea. "
- Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization.

"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. "
- Voltaire (1694-1778)

"We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction."
- General Douglas MacArthur (1880-1964)

"Wagner's music is better than it sounds."
- Mark Twain (1835-1910)




************************
"Attention to health is life greatest hindrance. "
- Plato (427-347 B.C.)

"Plato was a bore. "
- Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900)

"Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. "
- Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)

"I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. "
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

"Hemingway was a jerk. "
- Harold Robbins
************************

"In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is. "
- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me. "
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth (1884-1980)

tech_hunter

"Do not calle up That which you can not put downe; either from dead Saltes or out of ye Spheres beyond."
†H.P. Love Craft From the Case of Charles Dexter Ward

I have this as my sig at work

Wren

Winston Churchill has some of the best quotes ever.

Rankenphile

"Tits or GTFO"
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Bob The Monkey

Our arrows will blot out th...

Aww, never mind.

Druhim

"Why you frontin' btich?"
-Benjamin Franklin

RedTide

Omegasquash once told me the meaning to life.

But I got drunk and forgot it.

Mysst

When asked about taxes, Abraham Lincoln said;

"Give me all you got!"

rockmonkey

Wren wrote: »

Winston Churchill has some of the best quotes ever.

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. "
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains. "
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite. "
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. "
- Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)

#pipe

"Never mistake activity for achievement" - Kyle Gass

Bob The Monkey

When I die, I think I'll borrow someone else's last words. Coming up with good ones of your own is far too difficult.

So far my top choice is Ich bin Heinrich Himmler.

Munkus Beaver

I love me some Paul Bear Bryant quotes.

"Hell, no! A tie is like kissing your sister!" After being asked if he had considered going for a field goal when trailing by three points.
"I ain't never been nothing but a winner." Probably the most famous one of his.
"Here's a twenty, bury two." After being asked to chip in ten dollars to help cover the cost of a sportswriters funeral.
"Tough times dont last, but tough people do."
"I'll put you through hell, but at the end of it all we'll be champions."
last, but not least: "It's not the will to win that matters - everyone has that. It's the will to prepare to win that matters." I think that's extremely true.

rockmonkey

#pipe wrote: »

"Never mistake activity for achievement" - Kyle Gass

"Never mistake motion for action. "
- Ernest Hemingway (1899-1961)

Bob The Monkey wrote: »

When I die, I think I'll borrow someone else's last words. Coming up with good ones of your own is far too difficult.

So far my top choice is Ich bin Heinrich Himmler.

"Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. "
- last words of Pancho Villa (1877-1923)

edit: or on a different note.
"Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done. "
- Carl Friedrich Gauss (1777-1855), while working, when informed that his wife is dying

Munkus Beaver

Do you know how Paul Bear Bryant got his nickname? He wrestled a fucking bear.

Marcus

Our new Constitution is now established, and has an appearance that promises permanency; but in the world nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.
-Benjamin Franklin

#pipe

"Failure is just success, rounded down" - T Rex

Darlan

"If your hand touches metal I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you."
-Capt. Malcom Reyonlds

also


"Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery."

~Malcolm X

Oleub

"Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!"

last words of Groucho Marx

mrpaku

Oleub wrote: »

"Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!"

last words of Groucho Marx

hahahaha are you serious? that is so goddamn cool

Wren

Groucho, not Karl

#pipe

"Got a wig for his wig
and a brain for his heart
He'll kick you apart
He'll kick you apart
oooooh"

Scrumtrulescent

"Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted."
- Albert Einstein (1879-1955)

Sami

"You can't build a peaceful world on empty stomachs and human misery" - Norman Bourlag

RubberAC

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
-Albert Einstein

Eastern Glow

RubberAC wrote: »

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat.
-Albert Einstein

Burn him, he's a witch!!

Calebros

Hitler had the right idea, he was just an under-achiever
-Bill Hicks



guys i think its bad that that was the first quote that came to my mind

Kayne Red Robe

The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.
-Robert Lynd

rockmonkey

"In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite. " - Paul Dirac (1902-1984)




"From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it. "
- Groucho Marx (1895-1977)

Abdul the Terrible

I'm so fucking drunk right now


and 20 minutes ago I was so fucking close to punching a senior to the face

that motherfucker

mrpaku

Abdul the Terrible wrote: »

I'm so fucking drunk right now


and 20 minutes ago I was so fucking close to punching a senior to the face

that motherfucker

are you in high school?

rockmonkey

or was it a senior as in an old person

Abdul the Terrible

mrpaku wrote: »

Abdul the Terrible wrote: »

I'm so fucking drunk right now


and 20 minutes ago I was so fucking close to punching a senior to the face

that motherfucker

are you in high school?

No.

I was at a bar and he was an asshole.

Meissnerd

"Peace prevails when food suffices" - Momofuku Ando, the creator of instant noodles

Abdul the Terrible

rockmonkey wrote: »

or was it a senior as in an old person

Yes.

mrpaku

Abdul the Terrible wrote: »

rockmonkey wrote: »

or was it a senior as in an old person

Yes.

okay, this is awesome

i can relate to this

Meissnerd

mrpaku wrote: »

Abdul the Terrible wrote: »

rockmonkey wrote: »

or was it a senior as in an old person

Yes.

okay, this is awesome

i can relate to this

I can relate to this so hard; I work at a retirement home

"Hey, have you heard of that Aryan Bird Flu?" - Some senile dude asking me about avian bird flu

mrpaku

my friend used to work in a nursing home too, changing diapers

one time he had an old lady try to molest him during this

also if you work in a grocery store for any amount of time you look at old people a little shifty for about the rest of your life

Abdul the Terrible

mrpaku wrote: »

Abdul the Terrible wrote: »

rockmonkey wrote: »

or was it a senior as in an old person

Yes.

okay, this is awesome

i can relate to this

Sometimes just... they just know they are old and you really can't punch them right in their wrinkly fucking face... but... fuck I should've punched him!

edit: I mean I should've hit him when he wasn't looking..

DrIanMalcolm

If you don't know history, you don't know anything.
Edward Johnston

Meissnerd

Another Churchill:

"If you're going through hell, keep going"

DrIanMalcolm

Reptiles are abhorrent because of their cold body, pale color, cartilaginous skeleton, filthy skin, fierce aspect, calculating eye, offensive smell, harsh voice, squalid habitation, and terrible venom; wherefore their Creator has not exerted his powers to make many of them.
-Linnaeus, 1797