Well, this is embrassing (sex related)

Alt-42-1337

I'm too embarassed to post about this with my regular account so I've decided to use my alt for the first time in years.

Recently, I tried to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time.

I say tried because I couldn't maintain my erection.

I just.. don't understand what the hell happened. My penis was rock hard while we were making out but I lost my erection the instant my pants came off.

Thankfully she was very understanding but still, I feel horrible for not being able to have sex with her.

I'm young, healthy, I love this girl and I'm physically attracted to her... so why did this happened??? Logically, it shouldn't!

You guys have any ideas?

Richy

Stress from performing with her for the first time ever?

LostNinja

Was it your first time period, or just first time with her? Either way it's most likely just stress and anxiety from it being the first time. It's perfectly normal and nothing to worry too much about.

Alt-42-1337

I had sex before altough she's my first partner in a long time (more than a year)

Djeet

Foreplay. If you got limp when the pants come off (which is not as big a deal as you might feel about it right now) do something other than penetrative sex. If you don't get hard then don't worry about it and do other stuff. You are probably just overthinking it.

Hahnsoo1

Performance anxiety is extremely common, and unconscious (not something you really can control). Don't worry about it. It happens, but the more times you are with her intimately, the less it will occur.

Veevee

Also, the more you think about it the worse it will be.

So, quite literally, forget about it and enjoy the ride next time.

Pacificstar

It's stress dude, next time will be fine.

Inx

A lot of people like to joke that the penis is a super simple plug-and-play kind of organ, but that's not really accurate at all. Anxiety, stress, diet, sleep, all these things can affect your reproductive organs.

Get some rest, eat right, and most of all try to be chill about it. You're completely fine.

Dr. Frenchenstein

yep, just relax and don't stress about it. there is a lot of stuff going on your brain the first time, try and clear all that out and everyone will have a better time.

Metalbourne

While, "Just relax" is the core of the issue, it's a lot easier said than done.

First off is your partner. If she's just laying there waiting for you to throw it in, you're going to have a bad time. She needs to avoid popping out cliches like, "it happens to everyone" and "Oh it's alright I don't think any less of you." She needs to take the initiative and actually give some stimulation while you're struggling with the condom wrapper. She needs to be professional and completely ignore the fact that you don't have a boner. If she's not doing that, have a talk with her.

you on the other hand, stop with missionary position or doggy style. being on your knees and leaning forward like that is pretty stressful. You can lay on your side or on your back You need that extra blood pressure for your crank. IF IT GOES LIMP THEN GO BACK TO FOREPLAY. Yes, you might have to make out for 20 minutes with a condom stuck on your index finger like a little sombrero. Get over it. Roll that bitch on right in the middle of making out if you have to. HER JOB IS TO KEEP MAKING OUT WITH YOU. let her know that before hand.

and finally COMMUNICATE! come up with a game plan a day or so before. You don't have to choreograph everything before hand, just a few "if this happens" contingencies.

Comradebot

Metalbourne wrote: »

While, "Just relax" is the core of the issue, it's a lot easier said than done.

First off is your partner. If she's just laying there waiting for you to throw it in, you're going to have a bad time. She needs to avoid popping out cliches like, "it happens to everyone" and "Oh it's alright I don't think any less of you." She needs to take the initiative and actually give some stimulation while you're struggling with the condom wrapper. She needs to be professional and completely ignore the fact that you don't have a boner. If she's not doing that, have a talk with her.

you on the other hand, stop with missionary position or doggy style. being on your knees and leaning forward like that is pretty stressful. You can lay on your side or on your back You need that extra blood pressure for your crank. IF IT GOES LIMP THEN GO BACK TO FOREPLAY. Yes, you might have to make out for 20 minutes with a condom stuck on your index finger like a little sombrero. Get over it. Roll that bitch on right in the middle of making out if you have to. HER JOB IS TO KEEP MAKING OUT WITH YOU. let her know that before hand.

and finally COMMUNICATE! come up with a game plan a day or so before. You don't have to choreograph everything before hand, just a few "if this happens" contingencies.

This is really and truly some amazing advice.

To add on to the OP: dude, you're in the position to have this problem. Don't worry about it, don't focus on "ABOUTTOHAVESEXOMGOMGOMG", just try and let everything flow naturally without thinking about it. Focus on yourself, her, and the good time y'all are having together. Let your mind go free and lose yourself in the moment, you and your penis will be just fne.

PAX_Skeletor

Comradebot wrote: »

This is really and truly some amazing advice.

To add on to the OP: dude, you're in the position to have this problem. Don't worry about it, don't focus on "ABOUTTOHAVESEXOMGOMGOMG", just try and let everything flow naturally without thinking about it. Focus on yourself, her, and the good time y'all are having together. Let your mind go free and lose yourself in the moment, you and your penis will be just fne.

...so what your saying is...

To OP, yeah, what you have described is far more common than you might think. The first time has all sorts of cultural and social baggage that goes along with it. Second time is much easier to relax and go with the flow. I wouldn't be surprised if you've already had another crack already and found your problem solved TBH!

Also, to echo other comments above, more foreplay is never not a good move. And damn if that shit ain't fun.